Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sparklepants
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 104
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle momsPage 5 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Blastkist, that guy has strayed wayyy off topic over and over to pick you apart with the very limited information he has taken the time to gather. It is important to him to do this, apparently. I'm inclined to believe that in the real world, strong women intimidate him, so in this faceless, anonymous forum, he can spew his venom toward the very targets he oh-so-wants to in real life, but unfortunately for him, cannot.

Additionally, I'm inclined to suspect that he isn't a very high-calibur guy; primarily because of his extremely negative/borderline hateful comments he's made in this forum about single mothers and women in general. This tells me he hasn't been exposed to true high-calibur women (of which, I am one). I have a good relationship with my ex and I do not speak ill of him to my boyfriends or to my son. We have joint custody of our son and he doesn't nose into my personal affairs, as I don't nose into his. When we divorced 10 years ago, he was to pay me the court calculated child support, and he did for about six months until my career took off and I told him I didn't need child support anymore. Haven't gotten any for 9 1/2 years and don't want or need it. I am fortunate in that I am educated, I have a high-paying job, I have lots of friends, I own a beautiful large home. I also work on my own car (minor stuff of course), help my son work on his dirt bike, keep up the yard, the pool, (this includes, but is not limited to cleaning, testing the water, constantly purchasing chemicals, removing snakes, rats, turtles, or whatever reptile has found it way to the pool). I play the stock market, my son's college education is taken care of because of my wise choices (no contribution from his dad, but I expect he will contribute some when the time comes).

Perhaps Alllivealone should try to expand his social circle in order to become a little more enlightened in regards to the many types of single mothers out there.

Single parents, whether Moms or Dads carry a heavy load and do so the best way they know how. Attempting to tear one down says more about you than anyone.
 Sparklepants
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 105
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/9/2005 12:04:47 AM
Any time, chickadee!

 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 106
view profile
History
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/11/2005 1:37:21 PM
SugarButt - I agree...

Sparklepants - Love the Tat...

Blastkist - Hmm... you can dig back and find my views on this topic.. and also other threads in the same vein... Single parents, if such they are, are great and wonderful people, Generally better adjusted than pure singles, and fun to be around, and kids tend to add more than they detract...

As for the diatribe launched at you, I think it was both uncalled for and unfair... you might be a bit brusque in your presentation, but you said nothing that I and others have not said... cheers... and high praise, stars and awards for getting out of a bad situation, twice, with courage and dignity.... you did well...

I will still say that I am happy to date single moms...

Later All

~~Dragon Rider~~
 tflint
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 107
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/11/2005 10:38:17 PM
Hey buddy, first off, you forget about the kids who's daddies left them all alone, and maybe all they are looking for is a male adult role model. Or maybe a male friend. I have to raise three sons by myself, and as far as them saying, "hey your'e not my dad" they would probably say thank God. My kids are not baggage, and I pay my bills. But where is it written that single moms have to suffer because the dads decide to leave? Child support? I don't get that, my ex figured out how to cheat the system. But I work very hard to give my kids what they need, and I don't need another man to pay my bills, but I would like another man to be my companion. My ex is remarried, so why shouldn't I? You have the wrong attitude.
 bean01
Joined: 4/20/2005
Msg: 108
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/11/2005 11:22:52 PM
well I'm not biting on the argument part of this thread, but here's what I think about how men are missing out if they don't date single moms and how women are missing out if they don't date single dads too! These people, these single parents, they have come through a crisis. And while some would say that is baggage, I prefer to think of it as passing the test. You see, you know that no matter what happens to these people, they have the fortitude to rise above a personal crisis and move on. Since all relationships have turbulant moments, wouldn't you rather know that someone can handle a crisis then not know how they stack up in the "when the going gets tough" situations? I know that if someone can make it through a marriage, separation, and divorce and still be standing with relative good sence and having learned a little something along the way, that they can handle anything. And my money is on them over these people who have never suffered a day in their lives. Hate me if you will, this is my truth.
 am70sguy
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 109
view profile
History
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/12/2005 12:12:28 AM
^^^^^ Oh, bring me those lips! ^^^^
Very well spoken. Mmm, can't add anything wiser.
 babysis
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 110
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/12/2005 12:50:03 AM
Well first off I dont normally comment on forums. But this one I must. I have to thank everyone who has made positive comments on single parents( both men and women). I am a single mom of 2 and it is the hardest job I have ever had. But , single parents are just like any other single person we just have more responsibilties then people without kids. Which in most cases the person who isnt willing to date a single parents it has to do more with the concept of responsiblities and selfishness. Being single parent takes hard work, as well as to be totally SELF LESS.. That is the main problem with both men and women. They are selfish and cant comprehend putting others before themselves especially kids. I myself was raised by my father who taught me that being a single parent is never easy but, makes you much stronger person . A person who is capable of survival on own. A person who can be selfless.
So I guess what I am babblling about is the simple fact that the people that dont give single parents a chance. Well its there loss simple as that. Those are the people that will remain alone for being closed minded and selfish. And also, I read a few comments that single moms are money grubbers. Well, whoever thinks that is pretty ASSumptuious and shouldnt generalize all single moms. I really take offense to that especially when I have been raising my kids on my own for yrs now and have never once looked for a sugar daddy. Some of us have learn to live without things in order to make it which makes me a much better person then the person who made that ASSinine comment. Don't think anyone should pass opinons on anything or anyone if you don't know all the facts. We are all differnent and people tend to forget that. And all people deserve a chance to be happy in a relationship. Hopefully I havent offended anyone, wasnt my intentions just thought I would put my two cents in.
 xizdaqrian
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 111
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:26:50 AM
I would prefer to date women with children. The idea for me is that there is no "culture shock" involved for them. Dating women without children is very difficult on them, once they encounter the children. Despite what so many people seem to think, women do not have some "natural" ability to instantly relate to, and care for, children. They're just like men, they must do it to get the ability.

The problem is, I meet almost no women with children who will date men with children. Women are (the ones I encounter anyway) just as averse to dating someone with kids as most men. Kind of hypocritical to me. You expect someone to put up with your kids, but you are unwilling to put up with theirs. Hmmm...
 Dejablue1979
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 112
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:41:47 PM
Holy crap, so what does that make singel dad's, lost men? I guess you think abortion should be mandatory if the dad chooses to be a worthless pile of crap and leave. Or better yet why not get rid of the kid/kids of the current boyfriend doesn't want them. I do feel it is a choice whether or not to date a woman with children, because it is a big deal. You are dealing with peoples lives here. Although your post made me sick to my stomach, you do have the right to choose, so choose on brotha!
 Dejablue1979
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 113
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:45:03 PM
thank you bean01 you are quite the wise one!!!
 michelle_260
Joined: 9/29/2004
Msg: 114
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 12/6/2005 7:13:46 AM
beachboy45 that is really nice what you had said about family. To me family is very, very inportment.
 michelle_260
Joined: 9/29/2004
Msg: 115
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 12/6/2005 7:24:58 AM
Well now Mr. alllivealone thinks that it is not good to date a single mom well all i have got to say for that my kid is my life and i would not take a million dollars for her. But us single moms have feelinds to and we need love just like these single women does. Yea there is alot of men out there who don't want a single mom but if i had to chose to have my child in my life or give her up just to have a man in my life then i would kick him so far to the curve that it would not be funny. And these men out here who thinks that they are to good to be with a single mom then you really don't know what you are missing out on. My child is the best thing that has every happen to me. Men will come and go but your kids will always be there.
 yendor65
Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 116
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 12/15/2005 7:58:42 AM

I think that many men on this site are selfish, whiny children themselves Why would we want another child that we didn't give birth to?


that is FUNNY

my last serious relationship lasted 6 years and it had me playing the father role.

um..a...I miss the kid more than the X !! it's going on 4 years since we broke up and I still have a relationship with her. I wouldn't trade it for anything... to each their own....but I think some men are definitely missing out.
 paul71787
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 117
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 12/15/2005 10:32:36 PM
i dated a single mom she was the sweetest person ever me and her son got along good together
 Mystery2Me
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 118
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:09:39 PM
Ohh my...shades of bitterness and distortion!
And in such abundance!! How lovely!
It really isn't. I am being sarcastic.
Ok...tell you all what.
DO what is right for you!
Ummm...whoever you are.
Meh.....

*walks off, shaking head*
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 119
view profile
History
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:17:19 PM
It's not dating single mom's they are missing out on.. it's missing out on dating a really fun responsible woman they are missing out on. The kids are a bonus!!!

The children really shouldn't be a reason to date or not to date a person. You either have an attraction toward an individual or you don't.. and it's up to you if you want to pursue it further. Whatever goes on between the adults goes on between the adults... last I checked the kids were NOT involved in the intimacy between two adults (unless you are making a baby).

I don't understand why everyone gets all in a knot using their children being an excuse for their non existent dating life. For all anyone knows anyone could come across the most beautiful person they have ever laid eyes on... strike up a conversation.. set a date to meet with them in a more relaxed setting.. things go well the second time they meet.. they set up a date again.. this goes on for a bit... then they meet the persons children.. I'm sorry but at that point do you bolt?

Perhaps a lot of single parents haven't worked out their own personal business and emotional crap that some people are just turned off by it.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 120
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 6/30/2006 5:08:44 PM
I think if you avoid single mothers, you are probably avoiding women who will offer less upfront mind games, stress and general nagging. I'd take a guess they'd be more open and upfront about sex as well. I mean, lets be honest, they have kids, they dont have the time or energy to play games or complicate things like younger single women can.

So are single mothers a better catch because they tend to be nicer and less maintenance personally?

I'd say no.

They have no choice. If you are a single mother who is getting older, you already have a limited dating pool to start with, and if you pop off an attitude or come across as high maintenance ( which is obviously beyond the high maintenance implied with a surrogate family) , then you scare off what few men out there that will date single mothers.

Why are young pretty single girls with no debt sometimes such horrendous ****es? Because they can afford to be. Some guy doesn't want to put up with their crap, another 20 guys are waiting in line.

But take that pretty young single girl, toss in a divorce, ten years, crows feet, 20 more pounds and two kids, and that line gets pretty darn short pretty fast.

Men are not 'missing out' at all. If they were, single mothers would be behaving much like young pretty single girls and you'd see no difference in the way people date between those two groups.
 jen28nc
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 121
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 6/30/2006 5:12:21 PM
WHO is crazy? Sounds like you have issues yourself.
 Feistyred38
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 122
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:11:23 PM
What a wonderful way to view a mom! I honestly think what you wrote was the most beautiful thing I have read in quite some time! Thanks :)
 Feistyred38
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 123
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:13:32 PM
Okay sorry I was responding to the reply from Dennis on page one!
 ender349
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 124
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 8/4/2007 8:07:14 PM
I have a really hard time finding a single women without kids that even want to get to know me, much less date. They all say they want a nice sweet and caring guy but when I message them I never get a response. I would like to date a single mom for the reasons that they would be looking more for a guy like me and I am looking more for a women like them. The thing that scares me is I have no experience dating women, I have been really shy must of my life and find it really hard to go up to and talk to a women. But since I have no experience I do not want to jump into a relationship where they expect me to be the farther. I mean I like kids and have no problems with them but am not ready to be a dad at all. I would date a single mom if all she expected of me is to be friends with her kids, but how do you pick out the ones that are looking for a farther figure for their kids and ones who aren't?
 HDynasty81
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 125
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:53:38 AM
^That's the thing, some of the best women YOU have dated, may not be necessarily the best for someone else.

I don't see exactly what I'm missing out on to be quite frank, the title of the thread has more of an angry tone to it as if you're going to suddenly change someone's mind. If the man/woman chooses not to date a single parent, that's their right, if you don't like it, just find someone who does want to date a single parent.
 tinydancer123
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 126
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:17:56 AM
Hey, I'm all about supporting my good sisters but the following is true and happens a lot.

Quote - "Be careful that the woman do not trap you into getting her pregnent."

Guys, don't ride bareback. Use a condom and take control of your reproduction becuase I've known several women who felt it was their right to pretend they were on the pill and get pregnant to catcha guy off his guard.

It's disgusting but they think you guys deserve it. Honeslty I kid you not. I know women who bragged about it. There's lots of women like that. Grow up and take control of yourself. The condom fits on YOUR penis not her vagina so wear one if you don't plan on raising kids. It's not complicated.

When I was a single parent I never blamed guys for not wanting to get involved with me. It was my job not theirs. Now that I'm single and my kid has left home and I'm comfrtable financially I have way more men interested in a serious relationship than ever before even though I'm older.
 Lucky_Vet
Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 127
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:22:59 PM

Single moms (and single dads) are the hardest working people out there


Nonsense, gov't fabricated propaganda, part of the child worship hitler ideology.
 HDynasty81
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 128
How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:53:50 AM

Single moms (and single dads) are the hardest working people out there


Perhaps in some cases, but I'd like to see something that would substantiate that statement as too often I'd see someone throw random numbers out as a statistic when it's just fabricated.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms