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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > 40 year old virgin question?      Home login  
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 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 162
40 year old virgin question?Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I think people make way too many assumptions. I was a virgin until I was 43. No I wasn't 'saving myself" for that special person. No I'm not afraid of sex or intimacy. No physical impairments. I'm not ugly. I'm not a mommies boy. I love women. Not one iota of gayness in my body.

I know people will find this hard to believe but I just never had the opportunity to do it. I did date a couple of girls when I was younger but they were both too young to have sex with. Then I never dated again until I met the woman I lost my virginity too at age 43 (she was 45). I've never been a social person. I never smoked or drank and never wanted to go to bars or parties etc. So I rarely got to be around women. In fact I've only spoken to a very limited number of women in my lifetime. I don't know why it turned out this way. I didn't want it to.

The time I lost my virginity turned out to be my only time too. Now I'm 53 and have one sexual encounter under my belt. I've felt for some time that another chance is not likely to happen. After reading some of the responses on here that seems even more certain of that.

I'm probably not going to be here much longer anyway. The extreme frustration is become unbearable for me.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 163
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:27:12 AM

I'm probably not going to be here much longer anyway. The extreme frustration is become unbearable for me.
Here as in pof?
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 164
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History
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:40:17 PM
"Here as in pof?"

Come on, now.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 165
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:50:36 PM

I'm probably not going to be here much longer anyway. The extreme frustration is become unbearable for me.



Here as in pof?


No I mean here in this life.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 166
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:14:33 PM
^^ That's what I thought. Don't keep feeling that way without getting help. I know I'm just a random online stranger, but it won't get better by doing nothing.. and help is out there. You just have to reach past the numbness, pain and pride for it.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 167
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/19/2012 6:18:00 AM

I'm a 53-year-old male virgin. Asexual in my case; I've just never been interested in having sex with anyone.
wow!
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 168
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/19/2012 2:27:30 PM
If I met a 40 year old virgin, I would be curious. I wouldn't run away or think he was a freak.
Some people are really shy, or don't know how to move things along.
People can be so cruel on these forums.
 soicat
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 169
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:43:48 PM

No I mean here in this life.


Hey, 1511958 (you know, by a strange coincidence, that was my first prison number!) you may be able to relate to a book by Dr. Brian Gilmartin: Shyness and Love, Causes, Consequences and Treatment.

If you google it you can find it in a free pdf.

Looking at your posting history it strikes me that you may fit the profile of the "love-shy" male, a term he coined, and it might cheer you to reflect on the fact that, although you are a somewhat exotic creature - like, say, a lawyer in France - you're not entirely alone.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 170
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:11:27 PM

you know, by a strange coincidence, that was my first prison number!


Your FIRST prison number? how many have you had?

I may be love shy but it really is irrelevant at this point. 53 is kinda late to be starting a sex life or a dating life.
I screwed it up and there's not much I can do about it now.
 soicat
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 171
40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:14:24 AM

Your FIRST prison number? how many have you had?


In Canada, we have something we call a "joke." Canadians would likely laugh at the unlikely coincidence to which I referred, conjoined with my self-deprecating reference to imprisonment. They'd be wrong - because it really was my first prison number - but it's still funny.

As for 53 being too late to change, reflect on the fact that you'll likely be around for another quarter century. Why not give it a go?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > 40 year old virgin question?