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Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 12
First Date Deal BreakersPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
rude crude and socially unacceptable
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 13
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/1/2006 10:28:53 PM
When they just cannot shut up...brag brag brag.........and invading my space by pawing me or walking around like they own me
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 14
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 9:26:25 AM
Talking about model ex-gfs, haveing 2 chins when u claimed u only had one, gawking at other women, gropeing me, and being negative
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 15
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 9:49:50 AM
Deal Breakers

A closed mind. You don't have to agree with my views on various subjects, but a respectful tolerance is required, within reason of course. The ability to understand more than one viewpoint, even if you disagree with it.

Racism or homophobia. Ultra religious. Extremely conservative or liberal. This all gets lumped together, as well as being closed minded. Most suffer from more than one of these afflictions.

Forgetting to mention you are married, engaged, involved. I can do bad by myself.

Judgmental. If you think I am on the road to hell, I can respect that. Just please don't be a back seat driver the entire trip.

Clingy. I am just looking for people I feel chemistry with when we first start going out, not a future wife. Don't start sizing me up as a potential mate before you even know my last name.

Morbidly obese. I just cannot be attracted to someone who physical appearance is way out of what I like. I can handle big, thick, big boned, large, plus sized, etc., but there comes a point that it just is beyond what I can find attractive.

Lack of intelligence. I love to have intelligent conversations and expand my knowledge. I am not seeking to debate or hold a recap of western civilization, but please be capable of talking about something other than work, who won American Idol or Brad and Angelina.

Lots of baggage. Get over your ex before you start dating again. A small carry on bag is okay, but these big travel suitcases really need to be left at home.
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 16
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 9:55:24 AM
I forgot to add...

Answering the cell phone. Even if you don't talk long, why even answer? Put it on silent and let voice mail pick it up. If you need it for your kids, don't answer all the other calls. If my company is not worthy of putting away the cell phone for a few hours, do us both a favor and decline the invitation. I am a big boy and can handle rejection. Answering 5 calls just to say you are busy and can't talk is still rude.

Being rude to servers or other employees. I think people like that have a insecurity complex and act out on it just to make their own selves feel better.
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 10:32:08 AM
I had this one first date/meeting go so wrong.... he was 25 and soo immature my 3 year old daughter at the time was more mature then him lol... we were at a resturant and shooting napkins out of a straw at me trying to get it down my top... dropping his fork and trying to trace up my leg with it...and he started talking all sex and when the music quieted down he was still talking just as loud i was so embarassed ...he thought the whole thing was funny and when i told him that was it and i wasnt going to see him again he got mad and went online to where i met him and started telling everyone what a b*tch i was. I felt like i was babysitting him ... it was one of the worst dates i ever had... i still laugh and shake my head at it when i think about it lol

So immature men is a big one for me lol
Excessive smoking or drugs,
if i catch him in a lie on the first date thats a bad sign lol
Joined: 5/25/2004
Msg: 18
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 10:34:17 AM
Her valtrex prescription falls out of her purse
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 19
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 11:29:40 AM

smoking turns any girl into trash

eeeee9 you forgot to mention that it does the same for men!
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 20
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:28:43 PM
•teeth- if the teeth are no good, the man is no good.

•sense of humor- how many dates with boring people do you have to go on before you find a decent one?

•smell- If I meet them and I can smell them a mile away, its bad

•foot fetish- If I find out that a guy has a foot fetish, he isn't my type. Not that I don't appreciate that, just that it isn't my thing. Feet freak me out.

•Not Well Educated- If they don't know what they are talking about, screw them. They shouldn't be saying anything at all.
•grammar errors- having to correct them every 2 seconds
•significant spelling errors in messages- they won't even get the first date

•If you don't click- If it doesn't happen, then it just doesn't happen. Theres no reason to be butthurt if somebody doesn't like you. It doesn't mean that theres anything wrong with you, just that you aren't their type.

I can be too picky though. I almost passed up my boyfriend because on the first date, I thought that he was boring until later on. We haven't been apart since. He is the most wonderful person ever!

 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 21
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:50:18 PM
General commentary on this:

* If you read the collective mindset of this thread's posts, you would imagine that there are VERY few second dates happening.

* Since I seek an ensemble of a person, I don't try to find deal breakers. Instead, I try to find if she hits many of my "must haves".

* If you are yourself on a date as you should be, then you should just know instead of thinking they have to "earn it".
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 22
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 3:52:54 PM
I have no class myself, so I'm not really in any position to be judgemental, however . . .

Being rude to the waitstaff.
Constantly using foul language - big turn off for me.
Being judgemental of others.

Once, a lady actually agreed to meet me. We were having a nice conversation, but she had something hanging out her nose. I couldn't stop looking, there it was. She thought I was admiring her face. It were going well, but I just couldn't get past the hanging thing. Finally I had to say something. That kind of killed the date.

Finally, for the lady a few posts up the line; anyone who would be compelled to correct my grammar.
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 23
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/2/2006 5:34:15 PM

My ex is in prison for aggravated assault causing bodily harm and he says when he gets out he wants to kill me!!!!!!!!!!

Checking her off my list.

My dealbreakers are no smokers, racists or bible-thumpers. I'll consider just about everyone else.
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 24
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:51:27 PM
"... we were at a resturant and shooting napkins out of a straw at me trying to get it down my top... " angel_32
But did he make at least one shot? that is the question!!

LOL my 2 ex bf's(a 5 years and a 3 year) did that and still do when we do lunch. I guess i like immature men
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:56:57 PM

Dating is the easiest thing!!! It's all about pre-sent-ation. The one an only rule is HAVE FUN! Period. If you have fun with dating... you'll enjoy life... and eventually meet the one! In the process you will meet a lot of interesting people and know what you want.. and what you don't.

1. Don't bring up a single....

Wow, had to say something...don't often see someone posting about dating who actually gets it. It's not about where its going its about where it is. Live in the moment, and don't look at everyone you meet as a potential marriage waiting to happen, and you have WAY more fun. Eventually you may meet someone you can get along with and you like being around....or not! Either way, life's too short to be looking so far ahead of today.

You can almost expect all you go out and meet (I hate the word "date", it implies too much pressure to succeed) to be new good friends, and just get to know them....well, to know them. That's it. WAY less stressful than trying to fit them into your future plans (if you have any).
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 26
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:00:58 PM

homophobia and racism are at the top of my list. i can deal with a lot of things, but these are just unacceptable in my books.

i also find it really hard to deal with people who have what i like to call the "funny complex" whereby they feel the need to be funny ALL THE TIME...even when they're not. i wanted a date with a person, not a stand up comedy act.

oh, and needy guys send me running for the hills.

All good points Sass. I totally agree - forgot all about this stuff, don't see it often, but when I do whether potential date or friends of friends....buh bye. Oh, and may I add any type of self righteous ignorance - i.e., someone who is belligerent and argues something they know nothing about and is offensive to other humans.
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 27
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:10:27 PM
had a guy take out a prescrption paper (from a doctor) that said he was aids free. also, he said his last date would blow him if he had that script. i told him to call her up.
 set the hook
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 28
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:36:17 PM
1. Flighty conversations

2. Intentional vagueness

3. People who look much different (worse) then the pictures they shared
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 29
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:49:09 AM

talking on your cell phone during any part of the date, unless its the babysitter calling saying there is an emergency...otherwise your getting left at the restuarant table with your half of the bill.

Their half?!?!?! Leave the girl with the whole bill, come on now. Cell phone chatting on a date is very rude and a turn off. If I catch a girl chatting when I come back from even the restroom, I am out. This shows me that you can't be alone for a few minutes and that is not good.
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 30
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:47:39 AM
For me there are few immediate deal breakers. If I've agreed to go out with you once, I probably see potential and I will likely agree to go out with you a second time.

Everyone has bad days now and then.


This thread was about deal breakers however:

1) Being rude to me.
2) Being rude to someone else around me.
3) Not having that chemistry or attraction. < Big one.

That's about it really.
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 31
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:01:49 AM
hmm lets see;

Showing up and making me realize your picture was, oh lets say 10 years old? As in, you had hair in the pic, now you're bald... just admit it in the first place! And lying about height drives me crazy as well - I'm 5'9, you say you're 5'11 and when we meet I'm taller than you... am I not supposed to notice?? If they were honest in the first place I wouldn't have minded, it's more the blatentness of the lie.

Total lack of chemistry - having to carry the conversation is fine when I know the other person is shy... for awhile. But eventually it's gotta be more equal or I feel more like a babysitter or entertainer than a date.

Making a second date... a month in advance! Had this happen, first time out and he asked me to a party a month later... admittedly it was a work Christmas one so I guess you gotta plan ahead, but seriously, I'm debating where I stand with him a day from now let alone a month.

And finally, bringing up sex right off - talking about their skills, their acomplishments, the odds of me joining them that night, how their tongue piercing gives them superpowers... I'm sorry but if I'm just looking to get laid I'm sure I could meet someone in oh, say 5 min? Go hang around the Pal or go post as looking for intimate encounter... like it's been said on here already, a coffee is not a free pass!

Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 32
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 6/8/2006 11:22:57 AM
wow, alot of these were pretty funny! I haven't been on a date in a long time but one of the last ones I went on (bad one) before meeting my ex was pretty bad.


Seriously, I didn't know who I was supposed to talk to or anything.
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 33
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:57:50 AM
I've had over 60 (bad) first dates from online websites...won't bore you with why every one was a mistake, just a few. Many men did multiple items on my list.

1. Poor hygiene (That's about 14 of them)
2. Interrupted me constantly (20-25 dates did this)
3. Horrible table manners - I mean chewing with their mouth full and spitting food into my plate. (10-15 horrified me in this manner)
4. Talked endlessly. Diarrhea of the mouth. (6-10)
5. Talked endlessly about their EX(s) (5-8)
6. Talked about killing Alligators for 20 solid minutes. Did not even look at me once to see if I was still there, and sadly, I was. (1)
7. Stared at the T.V. in the bar/restaurant during the whole date (2-3)
8. Checked out and/or blatently flirted with the servers right in front of me. (2)
9. Took cell phone calls from friends (2)
10. Showed up looking nothing like the pictures I had seen on the website. (5-6)
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 34
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:27:47 AM
So many reasons not to date...I don't know if I should even think about dating. I've met some great friends in a lot of ways. I never really go out with the make/break attitude. In many ways, I don't want to be friends with the kind of people I wouldn't date. Obviously there are a few things that would mean I wouldn't want to take it to the next level and form a relationship with a girl:

~Substance addiction - I'll be friends with people who smoke/smoke pot but I'm not going to form a relationship with them.
~Ill manners and disrespect* - well, I think we all know what that means.
~Constant negativity* - that just brings everyone else down.
~Flakiness - if you're can't be relied on to show up on time to anything, don't expect to meet me anywhere for a date because I don't want to sit
around waiting for you all night. I don't mind people like this if I'm hanging out with friends.
~No chemistry.

*I'm not going to want to be around that, period. If someone has this, I just can't be around them.

Other than that - if they're the kind of girls I would generally associate with and be friends with, then I would date them.
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 35
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:39:23 AM
if we don't wake up in the same bed the next morning!
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 36
view profile
First Date Deal Breakers
Posted: 7/13/2006 5:18:21 PM
I got a call from a woman after I dropped her off. She said that because I got her home so late that her grandmother was throwing her out and she wanted to move in with me. I did not go and pick her back up.

another first date Went well we met in a public place had lunch, and then I asked her if she wanted to do anything else. She said no because her mother was waiting in the parking lot for her, she had been sitting in a car watching the resraunt.
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