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Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 26
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationshipsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

And you'd be surprised how many people are lonely and will pay. Even to just sit there in your bra and talk to them. They will actually pay for this. *shrugs a little*

That's sad. :(

I get propositioned by cam-girls all the time via IM. I just ignore them.

"Hi you're sexy. Wanna see my webcam?"

Oh yeah, suuuurrre.
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 27
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 11:04:07 AM

Website Model

Is that what it's called these days? Being a "website model"?

Anywhoo, OT...I agree with ab_qt that if your partner knows from the beginning what you do for a living, and enter into the relationship with that knowledge, THEORETICALLY they should continue to be o.k. with it.

But that's when theory falls apart and real emotions get involved. I imagine it would take a certain someone to be completely accepting and supportive of their partner's decision to work in the adult industry...
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 28
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 11:52:08 AM
So OP,how does one become a "cam girl"??
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 29
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 12:25:29 PM
If a person is up front with what they do and a guy wants to continue their relationship, yet later down the road b.tches because he doesn't like it ... Too damn bad, I'd be kicking his ass to the curb. If someone wants to stay in my life, they need to accept what I do

upfront eh best reread ur profile theres no word there bout u bein a cam peeler, guess ur not as up front about it as u say eh ,if he dont like it he can hit the road?sheesh welll theres a gal with alot of class and communication issues
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 30
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 12:29:07 PM
I "dated" a ripper a few years ago for about three months. She told me what she did and me being me had to push the limits and ask all the questions I could. To be able to get into a sex worker's head when they're off the job is not something many people have the opportunity to do so I went with it.

The only limit I established on myself was to not go to the club she worked at. Not because I'd get jealous (it was an open relationship we just had to let each other know when we were with someone else) but because the same way I don't want my friends riding with me in my truck all day, I didn't want to hang around her place of business as she went from one customer to another [though the thought of hooking up with her other stripper friends did come to mind a few times]

Besides I'd get the best shows for free on her living room couch on her nights off

For sure I'll admit that partly why I was attracted to her was because of the whole dirrty girl aspect of it. But we seperated those fantasies with established limits.

Mind you there is a difference between being a webcam model where you can't see your clientelle and being a ripper rubbing your tits in a guys face while your boyfriend sits in the corner of the bar ordering another - Whether it be typed or spoken aloud witnessing his girlfriend's customers tell her to stick a foreign object into their snatch and pretend it was them is not something any self-respecting male could sit back and watch.

I don't think that it hurt that he asked you to watch you on the net but to consistently haggle you does show his own self-esteem issues. Either he wants to be treated like an anonymous nobody like the rest of the guys or he was out to show all his buddies "hey check out what his broad does for me!" (mind you I'm just speculating on that second part so if I'm out of line there feel free to correct me).

If you really want some crazy insight into the relationship side of life in being a sex worker you should watch the Ron Jeremy documentary (I forget what it's called) that guy is lonely like you wouldn't believe.

Since you don't seem to exhibit any symptoms of being a $200 a day coke whore I think you did the right thing by limiting his interaction with your business.

As for me the reason I left the ripper was not because she was a stripper who I was afraid to introduce to my friends, on the contrary she loved the fact that I took her out with my buddies rather than sit around drop E and screw all night, it was the fact that her personal issues far surpassed what I was able to deal with. Daddy issues galore let me tell you.
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 31
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 8:16:56 PM
I think it all comes down to trust and open communication between the two. If your partner has a career that you really don't like but have been upfront about it in the first place then you have a choice to accept it or break up with them immediatley. It isn't fair to tell them they can go on with it only under certain conditions that you impose. Maybe if you had been together for a long time first then a carreer change came along you may be justified in saying that there are aspects of it you aren't going to be able to live with. I think so long as the relations is built on trust then I think it can handle pretty much any career choices.
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 32
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 8:54:03 PM
OP: i'm sure it could present problems with relationships, as any serious boyfriend could think that you'd be out cheating. Guys get pretty riled up when they're around strippers.

He'd go out, starkers bar his big grey mac and a plastic cup, and get his tackle out for passing tourists for two bob a time.

Am I the only person that has absolutely no clue what that sentence was supposed to mean?
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 33
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 10:07:34 PM
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 34
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 10:09:32 PM
yea, but the industry has blown up the idea of what paying to see a girl naked means. and yea, it may have been good money, but to people in general a cam girl is no different than a stripper, porn star, etc. ya'll take your clothes off for money all the same. what does your boyfriend think about cam girls?...................hint, hint. people all have preconceived perceptions. imagine what its like walking into one like that.
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 35
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/4/2006 11:52:08 PM
Hon, don't fret.

Different people are ok with different things, hell if my girlfriend didn't have issues with her family about doing it i'd get her signed right up i don't see the harm in a little solo show.

SEE there theres somebody out there who doesn't think you're totally insane, and if I have this opinion you'll probably be able to find another person with the same opinion!

and good luck
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 36
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/8/2006 1:35:06 PM
I went out with a stripper for 3 months back in 90'( i'm really aging myself here) and I knew what she did and that was her business. ( I wasn't to cool with the coke and constant drinking but I guessed that numbed her past!) But the thing I found really odd was that it was not ok for me to speak to another woman if she was around. I had taught at a public school (K to grade8) for phys. ed. during a co-op placement, and later that summer I was out with her and ran into some girls that I had taught during my placement and chatted with them briefly. As soon as they had left I was treated to an ass reaming of how I was never ever to speak to another woman in front of her again and for me to sit my ass down so she could keep track of me. Please keep in mind that the "women" that I had spoken to were in the 13 to 15 years age bracket!!!
But to get back to the original question you will have people that won't care you are a cam-girl and people that will have a problem with it!
As for your man expecting "free" access...tell him to shove it! If he cares for you then he will understand that what you do is business and that if you worked making your own jewelery or baked goods would he expect you to give him "freebies" all the time,(because that certainly would cut into profits wouldn't it??)
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 37
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Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/8/2006 1:42:05 PM
I can't really see it ever working out in your favour, or his for that matter. For me I would want to talk about it too much, ask too many questions, eventually I think I would hear something that I did not want to hear or know. I would want to make it work, but I think that would put to much of the responsibility on the woman, wouldn't 50-50 anymore (not that it really ever hit dead even).

And for your part I would doubt that you would want to talk about your job to that length when you know what you say may hurt him. Its a weird situation because I am sure that the guy would be fie with it for a bit, even proud (doesn't seem right, but its like being the guy who goes home with the stripper, you know you guys get to see her I get to do her kind of metality). But over time it would deminish.
 X Shadow X
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 38
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:17:12 PM
I so could not agree more... You are playing on teh fact that males search for a realationship or a connection with a female... often stupidly... How can u expect top offer that connection for money to other men and that it wouldnt bother a normal man...

Sexuality is intimacy... I now became a product... How can you expect that connection to be special when you sell you intimacy to other men... How can your man accept beeing just another one... Maybe for you the fact that the other ones pay make a difference... But that just lowers the man you're with... and as far as I'm concerned... it lowers you too...

Feminism was supposed to bring women equal to men... If you think you're a free spirited woman because you feel ok to sell sex online, you missed the point about freedom and self respect...

I can TOTALLY see how your man can not like it... The idiot that wanted free shows, that's another story... he's just plain idiot...

And we will obviously see women trying to defend your actions... That is not what Im discussing... Im telling you a man's perspective on why men cant stand in a relationship like that for long... Im not discussing her right to do whatever she wants... but whatever you do has consequences, on yourself, on others, on the image others have of you, which will eventually affcet you and all your relationships... You want a normal relatinship, I dont think it's possible like this...

Yes there are happily married porn starts... do you want to categorize that as a normal relationship? ****ing other ppl all the time but still having intimacy and love with only one?? It's not coz some make it work that it makes any sens or even is right...

I dont mean to be mean... but that's a man\s point of view and I think that's what you need right now to realize the situation as it is, from an objective point of view and not one that justifies your lifestyle nor puts the blame on men for not beeing able to see their girl sell sex online...
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 39
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:26:03 AM
Well, as far as having sex with others for money, while on set, I think that's completely different than an intimate action between two people. But that's just me. Nevertheless, I quit cam girling because it simply felt, well, dirty. Sure, it was okay at first, but after awhile you began to feel lousy rather than aroused, and so I just figured it wasn't worth feeling shitty over.

The effect it had on my relationship(s) was not a part of that choice. Take me for who I am, I guess.
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 40
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:49:56 AM
I tried being a cam girl for a minute but i found it stressful because my bf always wanted to be included or i wouldn't know if he was online watching me at his place and that made me uncomfortable. So it effected me soem but i didnt really say anythign because at the same tiem he was the only person i had to talk to about this.

However the part that effected me most was him critism on what i should say or show or do, that drove me nuts! I was also supposed to do a duo show but of course he wanted to be there but i wouldnt mind after i was comfortable myself to have him their but he always wanted to be there.

So it didnt effect my relationship to much. pretty much just my stress levels lol, but i decided it would be best for my sanity if i just got a regular job.
 Denny P
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 41
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/11/2006 5:08:54 PM
I guess being a cam girl even though it might be demeaning at least pays better then selling stuff on E-bay
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 42
Being a Cam-Girl and the problems with relationships
Posted: 6/11/2006 5:54:19 PM
I've known a couple of strippers as friends. When we met up at the club and sat at the stripper table for a beer there were always piles of strippers hitting on me. Totally different than the other "clients" at the club. Very obvious that these strippers have trouble getting a decent man given their line of work.

Now as a cam-girl it strikes me as cleaner than giving lapdances to random guys. From what I've heard in this part of the country you're allowed to touch as well. Never done a private dance and not anxious to try either. That disgusts me.

However, back to the original topic, I think some guys will always have trouble with that sort of job. It's up to you to either find a guy who can accept it or get out of that industry and leave it behind. I've been approached many times about starting internet porn sites and I know the money is amazing. It's against my morals and I wouldn't do it but I understand for you how good the money must be. You have to decide what's more important.

Find a guy who will accept it or find a career to fit in with the norm.
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