Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 48
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
missmom781


who was that reply to

" I'm in the same boat you are. All I wanted was stupid head to spend time with the kid, but no he has to be a jerk. So I am taking him to court, I'm getting child support and he's getting told to keep doing what hes been doing ie do not contact us. Some men are not so great, so men are super, unlucky you and i got losers, it's ok though "
 kermancutie
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 52
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/13/2006 6:34:43 PM
sad case what an ***hole. I feel for your child just like I feel for mine .sometimes I just want to tell my daughters the truth about their deadbeat dad. he hardly ever comes around to see them only like once or twice a year. and now he is taking me to court to get a genetic test. If it wasnt that i still want him to have contact with my children i would say no to the genetic test and not even try to get any child support. but I am afraid to have my girls lose contact with him. they truly love him all they remember is the good in him. once they are a lil older i will be able to tell them the truth. they think they are going to get a genetic test for so the judge could know that he is their dad. well anyway you gave your ex an awesome deal too bad he underestimates your ability to handle him. well once when I went to court for child support I heard the judge order this guy to pay 200.00 a month for child support then he told the judge he did not have a job and the judge told him to get a job. that super dead beat thought he was going to get away with that
 misskittee
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 56
view profile
History
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:35:18 AM
I have to say that court sucks, but it sounds like you're backed into a corner and he's really left you no choice. As for his visits with your daughter...did you ask him what else he was doing with his weekends that he can't commit to more than two afternoons a month? Who or what on earth could be more important to him than his child? Word of warning though. I went through family court. As of right now, my ex is about $9000.00 in arrears on his support AND my little girl hasn't seen her father in over a year (his choice. I can't force him to see his child, his new girlfriend doesn't like that he has a child that isn't hers). Sometimes, court isn't a perfect answer, but if it's the only solution left to you, I say follow your heart and do what YOU think is best for your daughter. You've been very accomodating so far from the sounds of things...maybe he needs to see that he can't always get what he wants, and maybe (just maybe) that will help him to see the seriousness of the situation. It didn't work with my daughter's father, but I hope it does with yours. Best of luck :)
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 61
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:30:03 PM
Verissa


No matter what any of us women/men have said in responece to you'r fourm i think it is up to you and you ONLY because none of us can make thing's go the way we wan't to esp if it's for another person's life and you have to do what's best in YOUR eyes for your little one's and yours and their happyness, because nobody else can live your life or any one else's and i hope you and your kids are doing okay.


Best of luck to you (your family) all.


~Davids Mom~
 satxlb
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 62
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:50:09 PM
Sadly, it will not change. He has no interest in his daughter and thinks nothing of anyone except himself. I applaud your devotion to your daughters well being but you should do what is neccessary to raise your daughter the best way that you can. Take him to court and get what is rightfully HERS. I am a single father and going through the same kind of situation. I understand. You are doing just fine. Good luck to the both of you.
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 63
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:57:12 PM
Just a question but i was wondering...........

How come somebody's fourm starts off kind of nicely and then you get selfish people that think the worst of you or somebody else who post's their OPION on the question?

I mean not all of us want the same things and not all of us are the same some of us acturly LOVE being around their kids and some of us acturly NEED a brake from their kid's and that does not make you a bad, parent now if you abused your kids or sexual abused your kids (mom/dad) and ONLY cared about drugs and alcohol than yeah i would see somebody's point in saying your a bad parent.

But just because some parents need/want a brake from their kids that lables them as a bad parent?.

And i know NOBODY said this and im NOT blameing any one for this i an just simply stateing my thought on it.



(gone check on my little boy)
 angelwatching
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 64
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:26:54 PM
Yes i know where your coming from ,i thought i would not be a ***** to ,he is now up north 5 hours away and never sees them !!!!!!!!!!! I still think i have the better part of the deal ,,,no money but i wont miss whats more important ,,,my kids growing up...
 ratski1
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 65
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:41:24 AM
hi sometimes, something better than nothing again i dont know the laws were you live but a court order is a good thing, thay try to get from his ck before he does my ex she is court orderd to pay 325.00 a week i am lucky to get 120.00 hover the differance goes to the rears and ill get down the line as it will all ways attached to her ss number so get a court order is the best as he can go n say i ve been giving something and he looks good as gold and with out it he could just stop ratski
 SxyAttitude
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 66
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:54:44 PM
Honestly, honey, if he can't be around, then don't waste your time. And as for court, well, I'm on my second round with that (the first round took almost three years), and if you can avoid going to court, do it. Another court order isn't gonna make him a better dad (and yes, your lil one does deserve better, but she probably won't get it from him, so its up to you, Mom)
 Grounded One
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 67
view profile
History
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:44:50 PM
Verissa, Verissa, Verissa

Consider yourself and your child lucky. My son is 17 years old and has not seen his father since my son was 8 months old. The father chooses not to see his son and does not pay any child support. I'm not bitter about it, but do wish that they knew each other.

Your daughter sees her dad twice a month. Besides that, it's not the amount of time they spend together, it's how they spend their time. She comes home happy, right?

A friend of mine is in the same situation. He wishes to spend more time with his boys, but can't because of his work schedule. They make due with what they have. The appreciate all the time they have together.

Enjoy life.
 HONEYBEAR577
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 69
view profile
History
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/17/2006 10:45:21 AM
I THINK YOU WERE MORE THAN FAIR.. 100 A MONTH MOST GET 100 A WEEK I THINK YOU SHOULD GET CHILD SUPPORT AGENCY INVOLVED MAYBE HE WOULD WANT TO SEE HIS CHILD MORE IF ITS SOME THING HE HAS TO PAY FOR PLUS IF HE REFUSES STILL TO PAY YOU MOST STATES WILL COLLECT FROM HIS TAXES EVERY YEAR YOUR CHILD NEEDS THE MONEY THATS DIAPERS TOYS FOOD EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS EVEN IF YOU DONT FEEL YOU NEED THE MONEY RIGHT NOW PUT IT IN A COLLEGE FUND FOR YOUR CHILD HE NEEDS TO TAKE RESPONSABILITY THERES ALOT OF YEARS TO COME GOOD LUCK
 Ohiosweetheart
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 71
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/17/2006 3:09:42 PM
You said somewhere in one of these posts that the $100 per month is court ordered? Then there's really no decision to make here. The court ORDERED him to pay $100 per month. You don't have the right to tell him you'll take less. Tell him if he wants to pay less, take it to court.
As far as him spending time with her... seems to me that if he really doesn't want to, I wouldn't push it. How much fun can it be for her to be spending time with a daddy who doesn't really want to be there in the first place?

Take the $100 per month and tell him to go *******
 venusianmule
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 72
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/17/2006 6:43:22 PM
Check with your local Department of Human Services, there may be some sort of Child Support Enforcment dept. that can help you out....No emotional drain needed, just give them the info and they do the work. He OWES his kid at the very LEAST financial support. Good luck to you, I have no tolerence or respect for loser, deadbeat parents.
 westvanchick
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 75
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 1:42:45 AM
I am going through a situation simular.

My ex left me for a religious cult, he is brainwashed. He hasn't come at all to see Shawn. He hasn't given much child support for a while either.
I feel really bad becase its not that my ex is a bad guy, in fact hes a really nice guy, but brainwashed. However, I am thinking maybe its best that he doesn't come at all. I only want people around Shawn that WANT to be with him......and yeah the money fight, its useless, not for a lousy 100 dollars a month.

BEST BET: Don't even have him around, if he doesn't want to spend time, then hes not worth being around your child....your child is worth way more than that. Take care
 bibliophile
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 76
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:31:14 AM
I say ditto to this. One of the reasons maint enforcement is there is to take away the onus on parents to be the bad guy in collecting support. If you haven't registered your payments you should call them and get it registered and then list off back payments as well.

The child support is not YOUR money. It belongs to your daughter. Essentially he is stealing it from her. The mentality of some people is such that if they think you will take care of the child without the money then they will spend it or withhold it thinking it isn't a valid debt. If he doesn't pay, they will take any tax returns money or garnish wages for it.

I do understand the idea that more time with him is less money you spend on her so it might even out, but time does not equal money to a child. And I hear you on the potty thing, my daughter needed braces and we live on a very tight income without a vehicle in a pretty dumpy house. I asked her dad about getting braces and he balked and said sheesh that is like a car payment, and what if the boys need braces? Nope. So he went out and got his wife and himself twin Honda Goldwings....oh and build a new garage for them to go in the winter.

Only you can decide if court is worth it. One of the problems with court is that you often end up having to deal with other issues that you might not want to and also that the results often aren't great. The stress, the tension... You don't need to if the order is already made. Just get the debt registered with maintenance enforcement and then it is a non-issue. Let yoru ex know you are doing this and it is his daughter's money.

Stick with the visitation time he has. Leave it open that he can have her more often if he wishes but the fact is that once out of sight, then out of mind. He won't have any impetus to pay if he forgets who she is and how wonderful she is. Also, I really think a kid with no dad is left with a big hole in their lives. It is a hole they will fill later with poor choices in friends or addictions or whatever. A crappy dad who is there at least gives her someone. So long as he isn't abusive and really hurting her, whe will get over whatever issues later...but she won't be left with a hole that she tries to fill. Just my 2 cents....YMMV
 honeybunnies93
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 77
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 7:00:24 AM
No don't take it I am getting $200 a month for my son and that just doesn't cut it. Think you have to feed and cloth your daughter on that $40. I can't do that on $200 so how are you suppose to do that on $40 a month? My ex pays the child support people and then they pay me but if he doesn't pay me he will loose in the end. One time theyhad to send him a letter as he didn't pay for 3 months and if he didn't pay by the forth he would loose his drivers license and his would automatically get deducted from pay until it was paid off in complete. So yes take it to court they will let you know how much he can pay and if he gets a better job you will get more.
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 79
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:25:52 AM
colby_guy25

I know i will get my ass chewed out for this but i am glad SOMEBODY had the balls to say what you just said i didn't want to start anybody else ****ing but i tottaly agree with you'r post i'm sorry, i didnt say it sooner but you said it hell of alot better than i could have.


And i dont care if any of the single women/moms on this title gets pissed off because i'm seeing it from your view it's just what you said was the TRUTH! and its about time women"us" notice you and "single fathers" from, a different side of view.


"You women are all alike, i take could care of my child and see her all the time. It doesent matter how much we do as father's you guys will still **** and complain that its not enough. Some of you say its not about the money, iam saying alot of you got pregnant just for the money. I think you guys are messed and greedy as hell. If you are mature enough to make the desicion on your own to keep and raise a child, you should be mature enough to raise it on your own. I pay 700 a month for my girl whos six and in school, according to the law we split the costs 50/50 the last time i checked it does not cost 1400 dollars to raise a six year old in school a month. Shes married and lives a way better life style then i can ever imagine, she vacations all the time thanks to my child support, the law is set up so women get rewared for having children, and men are punished.
You women want to be indepentant and take care of yourselfs, get jobs goto school be lawyers and doctors and thats all great, but you want your cake and eat it too, Not all of you are greedy i truely believe men and fathers if in the childs life should contribute with money and time but i think most women take advantage of the system and destroy peoples lifes like myself to better themselfs not the child.
To all women like this you know who you are
GO TO HELL! "

But Your wrong about ONE thing none of us women all alike because i nothing like SOME these manbeaters on this site.
 hojash
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 82
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:53:41 PM
It does suck. But if he doesn't want to see his daughter then he's the one missing out. My daughter is almost two and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Her "sperm donor" has never seen her and he's never paid one penny on his child support. But the funny thing is when she was 6 months old he was sentenced to prison for 16 years. So the great court system that we have here in WI, dropped the child support order. Which honestly doesn't make any difference to me because like I said I haven't received a dime. But I did talk to the court system about having him sign off on his parental rights and they said that here anyway the mother has to be married and her husband has to be willing to adopt the child (ren) for the father to sign off. Which honestly is a load of crap. But that's besides the point. I am doing it by myself and I don't even care if he see's her or not. I drive two hours to take my daughter to go and see his mother every two to three months and she is very greatful. I guess it just depends on what type of person you are. If you want to be there for your child and you want to help them have a better life you will try your damndest. And I will not take my daugther to go and see him either. But that's another story. Good luck to you and I hope that it all works out for the best you seem like a wonderful woman and mother. Hugs to you!!!
ashley
 bibliophile
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 83
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:44:28 PM
Wow, that is pretty hostile.

I was married 14 years. Gave up my university degree to follow a military man posting after posting. He wanted kids, pressured for them as he wanted a better family than his home life had been. I couldn't have a career because the military moves families all the time, so I don't have the experience or seniority to make near the money he makes now. And when we were together, all he could talk about was how glad he was that I stayed home to raise the kids and they didn't have to be in daycare.

He screwed around, decided that person was his soulmate and it was just too much work to stay and raise his own kids. He chose to leave, not me.

I'm sorry you are paying so much money for your child and feel the money is being mismanaged. Me, I was in my marriage for the duration to raise the kids, I never banked on him getting bored and deciding to move on. He pays according to the schedule set by our province and to boot he pays the amount for what he was making 8 years ago, a significantly smaller amount. Not everyone is being jacked over. Some guys move on to something better or easier before the first family is out of the nest.

I'd dearly love to not take a cent from him and go my merry way. But my kids don't deserve to starve. It is their money not mine.

You might want a little therapy to help you with that anger.
 Shimmer_2004
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
History
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 7:00:57 PM
I personally don't kids but i can say for sure that alot of the single parents out there don't push hard enough for their children. I think you should be taking him to court, and getting what is right for your child. When you have a child you can't just have a half of a child, so why should parents be able to only put half the effort into it ? you didn't get yourself pregnant, but alot of people need to be responsible for his actions. My sister has had alot of problems with her previous boyfriend and their child they have together. It isn't right and you need to provide the best life for your child possible and when you are a single parent every little bit counts.
 Ohiosweetheart
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 85
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:46:46 PM
Broken Wings, you're right about that. We do need a break once in a while, and some of us never get it. The ONLY time I'm away from my son is when I'm working. When I'm not working, I have my son.

I'd love a break, but can't afford a babysitter. That's just the way it goes
 Ohiosweetheart
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 86
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:55:52 PM

You women are all alike, i take could care of my child and see her all the time. It doesent matter how much we do as father's you guys will still **** and complain that its not enough. Some of you say its not about the money, iam saying alot of you got pregnant just for the money. I think you guys are messed and greedy as hell. If you are mature enough to make the desicion on your own to keep and raise a child, you should be mature enough to raise it on your own. I pay 700 a month for my girl whos six and in school, according to the law we split the costs 50/50 the last time i checked it does not cost 1400 dollars to raise a six year old in school a month. Shes married and lives a way better life style then i can ever imagine, she vacations all the time thanks to my child support, the law is set up so women get rewared for having children, and men are punished.
You women want to be indepentant and take care of yourselfs, get jobs goto school be lawyers and doctors and thats all great, but you want your cake and eat it too, Not all of you are greedy i truely believe men and fathers if in the childs life should contribute with money and time but i think most women take advantage of the system and destroy peoples lifes like myself to better themselfs not the child.
To all women like this you know who you are
GO TO HELL!


you should be ashamed of yourself for lumping all women together like that. We could very easily say that ALL men try to get out of their parental responsibilities, but that would be untrue, just as your statement is untrue.
 InMyOwnSkin
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 87
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:56:36 PM
Well Verissa... you might explain to him that "you get out of it, what you put into it!" (like anything) and that may fall on deaf ears unfortunately... and you know what?...He might think it is "your money" but it is his daughter's and he's taking money at her expense! .... I would advise you go to court... for what that is worth... I've worked in the court system for several years and I've heard/seen so many absent parents... the child is the true victim here, but she'll figure it out as she gets older... As a mother, you are her advocate... good luck...
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 88
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:00:41 PM
Thanks ohiosweetheart i'm glad ONE woman understood what way i was putting my post because we do need a brake and i know not all of us are lucky to get a brake the ONLY time i get a brake is if my mom watches him, while im takeing a nap i NEVER go anywhere and if i do end up going somewhere i WOULD bring my son w/me because, i'm not the type who just PUSHES their baby/kid off on anyone.
 InMyOwnSkin
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 89
daddy's and mommies if you were offered this?
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:03:36 PM
Good point about the Dad's involvement... she is an extension of him and any negativity toward him (directly or indirectly) impacts her self image and it will manifest in behaviours, relationships, etc. later on!!! I wish both parents would understand that as that really is my pet peeve (spelling??)... Custody battles can be so damaging to children! Despite the lack of parental support for you, your daughter needs him (unless there are other concerns about her care with him of course....)... Again, good luck...
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >