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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell      Home login  
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 Indigo Rose
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 26
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
It just tells me that he lives with Mommy
 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 27
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 4:58:27 PM
Do not! Live with my daddy!!!
 anApplepear
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 28
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 5:43:41 PM
It would mean to me the woman who goes into relationship with him should have more than a steady well pay job. You can lose your job or job ability, one would never know what happens tomorrow.
In this case, to me, financially secure would mean a good amount of savings. Should she become pregnant, sick, lay off and lost her job, she still has money that last until she's able to work again.
It would mean to me she has to be 100% financial independent with no plan, no need and not even a slightest wish to depend on her husband or b/f as a provider. And if she's reasonable, she should evaluate her financial situation before she dated anyone, just to be fair.

If I am very much financially secure, I rather travel every year than struck with a man who ask me to be financial secure. How do I know in the future I won't be a burden to him? Should I kill myself then? I love myself too much for doing that of course.
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 29
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:16:27 PM

and more than likely a woman that can support herself financially is more secure in the person she is overall.


Oh, I see. Financially secure people don't have personal insecurites,
cause they have money---much less the kind of personal insecurites the less
financially secure folks have.


Yeah, RIGHT!


And if she's reasonable, she should evaluate her financial situation before she dated anyone, just to be fair.


Oh geezus! So, since I'm not financially secure---whatever that means---I shouldn't
accept any dates?




 flsoldier
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 30
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:24:40 PM

Oh geezus! So, since I'm not financially secure---whatever that means---I shouldn't
accept any dates?


Absolutely. Right now. Log offline this instant young lady! Go crawl under a desk, curl up in a fetal position and start crying...



Colin
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 31
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:27:51 PM

Absolutely. Right now. Log offline this instant young lady! Go crawl under a
desk, curl up in a fetal position and start crying...


But that would mean I was dating my computer!

Oh, wait...
 Football Mom
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 32
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:28:23 PM
When a man says a woman must be financially secure, it could be that he wants to suck her dry. I know it's not so in most cases, but I've been through that. There was a time when I supported a boyfriend while he went from job to job and during the times he was unemployed, I worked 2 jobs while he went out and partied, spending my money. I had a bank account RRSP's and savings bonds and I know that it's my fault for not having a back bone, but I let him suck me dry. I feel sick just thinking about it and if only I could go back in time and know what I know now I would never have let myself get taken advantage of. Those days are over and there is no way in hell I will date a guy who is not financially secure. I don't want to find a man who will look after me. I've been looking after myself and my kids all by myself with no help from anyone financially.
 TishaG
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 33
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:29:19 PM
Well OP I've had just the opposite experience. I'm a self sufficient, financially stable, well adjusted, own my own home female who just wants a significant other in my life so I can enjoy their company. And I can count on both hands how many times I've dated someone who's chosen a needier, clingier woman over me. And that's when the posts state I'm "too independent and I intimidate men". "A man needs to feel like he's needed". (COUGHBULLCHIT!) It's all a bunch of crap.
 ctrydancer
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 34
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:39:36 PM
Lucky...Is there a limit in savings I need to be financially secure??? lol
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 35
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:44:31 PM
"Financially secure" is one of the most nebulous cliches in the dating resume, and means something different to every person who reads and writes it.

I've dated women who were wealthy, but had no concept of finance, and certainly no control over their own expenditures. Substitute "wealthy" for "secure", in this case.

I've also dated, and had relationships, with women with little income, but a dependable, enjoyable job who tracked their income/expense ratio logically, and even had enough to set aside for investment purposes.

And just what is the meaning of "secure" anyway? The upper-middle-class, not much less than the poorer serfs, are living three paycheques away from being broke, in .....what is it? .... 80 % of the cases. Upper management types may get a fat bonus/parachute payment in their termination clause, but then they have the added pressure of a bigger chasm to fill to sustain a much more expensive, and (more importantly) expected, lifestyle.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 36
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:13:39 PM
I see im insighting a riot with some of you lmao. Simple answer for me I dont care if she has money or not. All I care about is that she can take care of herself right off the bat. You have no Idea how many people on here dont even have a phone lol never mind a job or car. Ive seen it all , im sure we all have our own horror stories.
 anApplepear
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 37
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:19:42 PM
And if she's reasonable, she should evaluate her financial situation before she dated anyone, just to be fair.


Oh geezus! So, since I'm not financially secure---whatever that means---I shouldn't
accept any dates?


hehe, the OP's question is "what does it tell you about him", I am just telling my exact understanding of what it would mean. I don't have to agree but this how I perceive the statement "a woman must be financially secure". Is there any other way I can interpret it??

You bet I will ensure I can afford to share the dating costs before I will accept any dates!
(But why bother if I can just date myself and have the same fun) .

It is my culture even up to this day when most women are on the work forces, men still say: "I marry her I support her". But this is Canada, I shall not compare to it.
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 38
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:21:48 PM


and more than likely a woman that can support herself financially is more secure in the person she is overall.


Oh, I see. Financially secure people don't have personal insecurites,
cause they have money---much less the kind of personal insecurites the less
financially secure folks have.


Yeah, RIGHT!


Please note the qualifier I used "more than likely". And I firmly believe this to be true as well although not in 'every' instance.

OP:
I see im insighting a riot with some of you lmao.


I see this as a healthy debate...
 prancer
Joined: 12/16/2004
Msg: 39
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:24:55 PM
THE FIRST THING I WOULD THINK IS ''HE,S CHEAP''!!!!HE,S WANTING TO SPEND HER MONEY -SAVE HIS!!!ONE FELLOW WANTING TO DATE ME ,ASK HOW MUCH I HAD COMING IN A MONTH-I TOLD HIM NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!INCOME SHOULD NOT BE DISCUSSED UNLESS THE PEOPLE DATING ARE GETTING SERIOUS!WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE MAN ''AT LEAST''WANTING TO TAKE CARE OF HIS WOMAN??
 Hervie1
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 40
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:30:15 PM
Tells me he is not thinking with his heart, he's thinking with his wallet...I only do that when I absolutely have to, and it never will have anything to do with a woman.
 CordlessTaco
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 41
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:33:54 PM
prancer wrote>I TOLD HIM NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! INCOME SHOULD NOT BE DISCUSSED UNLESS PEOPLE DATING ARE GETTING SERIOUS!<<

Good for you Prancer, thats exactly what you should tell them. -But then turn that around and thats usually something guys hear all the time from women nowadays on the first date and a lot of times even before they will go on a first date is "What do you do?" "How much do you make?" --and we are getting sick of it. Digging into someone elses financial info while your just getting to know them is just plain rude no matter what gender does it.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 42
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:35:54 PM
Prancer: My oh my, we still do at least some of us do. Its not about taking care of them after marriage its about being together financially to even to be able to date. For that matter even making a call. I hear so much about women and independence im all for it! I think everyone should be able to do whatever they want in life no matter the gender. But On the other hand when I hear " I can get my own door Im independent" Well be independent all the freaking way then!
 Trishnaa
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 43
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:41:14 PM
"When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?"


I want a guy who says exactly that.I mean.... it should be equal.No one should depend financially upon anyone if you can manage on your own.Not sure why women expect men to pay for them, but can't handle it when a man wants the woman to be atleast financially secure.It shows the woman is a gold digger.It does not imply the man is cheap.
 beachluva
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 44
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:46:34 PM
I feel that it says the man wants a woman he feels is his equal. Give and take, not one all give and one all take. An independent man or woman wants a person in his/her life because he/she WANTS them there, not because he/she NEEDS them there. This points to a healthy relationship, because one is not totally in control, or a "father" or "mother" type of figure. It suggests you're both more compatible intellectually-wise. I would much have a man relish in the fact that I am independent both financially and in my thought process than a trophy on his arm that has no imput to give. Life would be boring otherwise, and I dispise boring. Life is too short for that.
 Sarah65
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 45
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:50:05 PM
It doesn't have to mean you have lots of money or a high income. To me, it just means you've been living within your means and aren't in over your head with debts. Or that you're not anxious about where your next pay cheque will be coming from. Secure just means that you can look after your own needs comfortably. Someone can be secure with a lower income if they have been conscientous about their budget.
 Saturday Night Rocks
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 46
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:51:57 PM
How a person manages their finances says tons about their character. Someone making 40K can be a lot more financially secure than someone who is making 80K and is living beyond their means...

It also tends to weed out potential gold-doggers.
 Hervie1
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 47
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:53:16 PM
Well...I think that you shouldnt go into things worrying about how much someone does or doesnt have, if you care about each other, all that stuff you can build together, the more important thing is do you have similar goals in that regard...do you have some ambition, some drive, some potential...why not build it together? After all, success isnt measured by how much you have, but by how happy you are in my mind...if you are both happy as a couple...and are willing to work together to improve it, with a mutually similar opinion on it...then that's more important i think.
 written
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 48
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:58:43 PM
It means his relationships are conditional.

It means he'll leave your ass if something happens to your finances.

It means you can't expect him to be there for you in every situation.

Substitute "he" with "she" if you like. Either way, I wouldn't bother with anyone who made financial security a requirement. I could never trust that they really cared about me. And I could never be sure they would be there for me if things did go wrong.
 cincinnatiqt
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 49
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:13:56 PM

It's really funny ya know, but I can remember when I was a kid, and even then the woman was the one who took care of the payment of the bills etc. She was not only the homemaker she was also the banker. I can re-call not just my own father, but fathers of many of my friends, who would just sign the back of their pay checks and hand it over to their wives. Does anyone else ever remember that happening, or has my cheese slipped off it's cracker?


I do remember those days. My father was the only one to work (very hard job with long hours) would come home and do the yardwork, take out the garbage etc. My mom was a housewife. She did the laundry, cooked etc. When he got paid, it was handed right over to my mom. Later in life, even after we were all grown, it was still the same.

When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him? I would think it would be the same thoughts if a woman would ask a man. What do you men think when you are asked? It could be asked for different reasons. It isn't always women out for money. I've run across men that have flat out told me they want a woman with money. If a woman asks this question it could be that she wants to have stability in her future. I would think it would be the same for a man. Many people want to have a sense of stability and security. If a person was out of a job, down on their luck, does that mean they should be overlooked? I've dated men that were out of work. It happens, no matter what degree you have or experience. I would hope if two people fell for each other, regardless of their situation, would offer to help each other. If a man liked me because I had money or didn't like me if I were poor, then I would not be with either. I want a person to like....me.
 Sistermary
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 50
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:23:15 PM
[Well OP I've had just the opposite experience. I'm a self sufficient, financially stable, well adjusted, own my own home female who just wants a significant other in my life so I can enjoy their company. And I can count on both hands how many times I've dated someone who's chosen a needier, clingier woman over me. And that's when the posts state I'm "too independent and I intimidate men". "A man needs to feel like he's needed". (COUGHBULLCHIT!) It's all a bunch of crap. ]

That's been my experience also. As for the poster who ranted about women being financially secure because of alimony and other goodies - when I divorced many years ago i actually waived all that stuff (including child support) as i did not want the monthly check hanging over my head like a sword. I left with 2 small kids and never looked back and i did it all without some "man" paying for it. So, at this point in my life, I'm too independent and intimidate men and really don't have anything I need a man for except for a close relationship between two mature people.
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