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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell      Home login  
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 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 51
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Sistermary I like what you have to say.

I'm too independent and intimidate men and really don't have anything I need a man for except for a close relationship between two mature people.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 52
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:49:13 PM
Well, I dated on girl for a short time... no job, but was "looking for one" when I met her. That turned pretty quick into a couch-potato with zero (ok, less than zero, if you can imagine) motivation to do anything. I felt like a leech had dropped off me when that ended.

Mind you, I own my house (no mortgage), my car (no loan), and probably make easily twice what I need to survive (and have a good chunk of savings in the 4 years since the house has been paid off). I'm more than capable of supporting 2 people. I'm not so sure "financially secure" is a criteria, I wouldn't have an issue with a woman who was "scraping by" (ie, paying rent, bills, maybe supporting kids on top of it... but *trying* to support herself). The biggest thing for me isn't "financially secure" in the sense of she's earning major $$ and can do anything she wants, thats not a minus either, but to me personality and our relationship on a personal level is far more of an impact than money... I might have an issue with someone who was $20K in credit card debt, and paying minimum due, because it would show me bad 'financial sense' (ie, living beyond your means). But any woman with a good head on her shoulders, who at least is *trying* to be independant, to me is a plus... to me then its not because she *needs* me, its because she *wants* to be with me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 53
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:57:11 PM
~sistermary~ I couldn't agree more. In the state I reside, there is NO alimony. This is a no-fault state which means NO one gets alimony. There maybe a year's worth of temporary support for the party with the least income (especially if there is a vast difference in income) but for the most part ~ when you get divorced here, you get your freedom and nothing more. I refused child support because I didn't want or need his money. But I did leave much richer than when I was married ~ I was granted my sanity back!!


No ist not your the only one getting upset by any means!


~OP~ You must be joking ~ I can assure you....I'm not the least bit upset by your overgeneralizations. I find humor in these types of threads. You can see the woman-haters from 10 threads away!! LOL Keep up the good work ~
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 54
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:58:57 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^ yep Im pegged thank you so much. Lmfao.
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 55
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 3:05:58 AM

You can see the woman-haters from 10 threads away!!


I'm a little lost on this statement. I've reread this thread and I don't see the OP as a woman-hater. I see him as a man that wants a woman to walk beside him in life rather than behind him... which shows confidence and a healthy sense of self.

Am I missing a key point of his?
 §püngl䧧
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 56
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 3:20:18 AM
After reading all the posts on both of these threads, I'm actually pretty disgusted. It amazes me how something can be taken to such extremes that it turns into gender bashing, and general ill-feeling on the boards. Why don't we just sum it all up in one thread..NONE of the self-respecting, hard-working, independent PEOPLE (..not men OR women specifically..) on POF want a hanger-on that won't pay their fair share? Tell me who the heck actually sets out to find someone that will be a financial burden? I've been through it, as have many others in these threads. Did we walk around with a sign around our necks before meeting and or marrying the people we did saying...."Must be financially secure" ??? Evidently not. Most of us however, are wiser now and want to do what we can to make sure it doesn't happen again. Get over it everyone, and before getting too involved check to make sure that they pay their share...make sure that when you call, their phones aren't disconnected for lack of payment...make sure they can afford their own lifestyle...and go from there.

As an aside...if thou doth protest too much...in relation to a statement like "must be financially secure"...gives people a DEFINITE pause.
 ctrydancer
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 57
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:19:16 AM
I'm a nurturer and a giver by make up. Sometimes the give and take is not about just the money.

Lets face it, we all want someone who can bring home a paycheck and get the bills paid. I don't expect to pick up the slack because there is no money left over to go out dancing, or the movies or go without because somebody can't manage their budget. Some of the best activities don't require money. This is a dating site. I would be perfectly happy if you pack up a picnic basket, go to the lake, go hiking, watch a train go by together, watch a movie, play some canasta, go out 4 wheeling, go to a car hop, yard sale-ing just to meet somebody.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 58
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:15:09 AM
vey well put!

I'm a nurturer and a giver by make up. Sometimes the give and take is not about just the money.

Lets face it, we all want someone who can bring home a paycheck and get the bills paid. I don't expect to pick up the slack because there is no money left over to go out dancing, or the movies or go without because somebody can't manage their budget. Some of the best activities don't require money. This is a dating site. I would be perfectly happy if you pack up a picnic basket, go to the lake, go hiking, watch a train go by together, watch a movie, play some canasta, go out 4 wheeling, go to a car hop, yard sale-ing just to meet somebody
 realroxann
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 59
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:39:28 AM
Well I guess it would be pointless trying to read the motive behind the message. I think most households now days require a two person income. I am a single mother and have always worked even during my marriage, that was because I had to, not because I needed to get out or be too independent. IF a man feels the financial burden is to be shared, he also should be willing to share the homemaking. My ex husband did not agree that part should be equally divided. I was able to relax, and take it easy and have a cleaner house after we split. Personally, I would not mind if a man could afford to financially support me, and wanted me to be Suzy Homemaker. I also don't mind working outside of the home, right now I do both pretty well.
 angelab
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 60
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 9:22:23 AM
It's probably already been said, but I think people should use financially stable instead of financially secure. To me at least, financially secure means rolling in the big bucks and can take a jet to Paris for the weekend to eat crepes and chocolate at a moments notice. Financially stable means that someone may not be the richest person in the world, but they're responsible with what they do have.

Like someone else did mention (I couldn't read the whole thread - too much snarkyness), there are people who make six figure incomes who are in financial messes all the time and then there are people who make 25K a year who do very well.

There are men looking for sugar mommas and women looking for sugar daddys everywhere, but I'd like to think that most people aren't like that. I think most people just want someone responsible who isn't going to be constantly asking to borrow money to pay the cable bill before it gets shut off.
 ladypagey
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 61
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When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 9:28:25 AM
People are indeed out there who can't seem make their money stretch to cover what they wish to have. Careful planning or going without is my motto. I am not looking for someone to support me but some one to care and treasure me as a person.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 62
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 3:36:48 PM
This is also well put I agree!

It's probably already been said, but I think people should use financially stable instead of financially secure. To me at least, financially secure means rolling in the big bucks and can take a jet to Paris for the weekend to eat crepes and chocolate at a moments notice. Financially stable means that someone may not be the richest person in the world, but they're responsible with what they do have.
 firecracker 007
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 63
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/7/2006 3:43:50 PM
Men don't really care if a woman is FINANCIALLY Secure as long as she's HOT!!
 errnst
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 64
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:42:43 AM
when a man says a woman must be financially secure, it tells me that he does not want to be and/or cannot affort do be a sugar daddy,

i think financial inequality is gonna be a strain on any relationship, cuz people's priorities are all screwed up
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 65
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:40:45 AM
this means something different to everyone. I do not date men unless they are financially stable. I am not going to date a divorced man who makes 30 thousand dollars a year and is paying child support. I do not think I am shallow, just have worked too hard for what I have to get involved with someone who barely makes ends meet. I am not looking for a sugar daddy at all, just am not going to be seen as a woman who is going to pay someone's child support or help him pay his bills.
 Java378
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 66
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:59:44 AM
Considering that, I should put it in my next dating profile/ad. Then I wouldn't have to worry.
 errnst
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 67
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:03:26 AM
that would probably be a good idea, specify no more poor women, if you dont sweat cash, move it along......
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 68
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:27:50 PM

i think financial inequality is gonna be a strain on any relationship


I disagree with this statement. Just because two people earn wages or salaries in different brackets, does not mean that it will be a strain on the relationship.

Personally, I wouldn't care if the person were making more or less than I am, as long as they can manage their finances so they are not living paycheque to paycheque.
 itz_justme
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 69
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:42:51 PM
I dont think its any of their business how financially stable you are while in the "dating" stage. Now if the relationship went further than "dating"...then thats a different story..I know men, as well as women, that can be gold-diggers also...I know that from experience...You can tell on a first date whether someone is after money....shows when the dinner bill arrives....
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 70
 whodeletedme
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 71
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:51:08 PM
One friend once put it.... that it makes no difference if the amount of "IN"come is disproportionate,... you both work hard for your money, say f/t and one makes less/hr, then your $10 may be equal to his/her $100. So if you are equally contributing YOUR 50% then it's still fair isn't it? This means financially, emotionally and domestically! Due to how differently so many people perceive this "security issue" I know that I think twice about approaching many people in here that I have found interesting simply because I find that their interests are above my personal "excess funds" and I wouldn't be able to partake in the same things ~~ on my budget. I still make a very decent amount of money, own my own home, vehicle etc. but also happen to have three children who suck up those extra pennies. NO alimony and extremely rare contributions to any child support happening here, so not something I would consider worth banking on.
 itz_justme
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 72
 itz_justme
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 73
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:58:24 PM
Maybe you do....BUT...you wouldnt BELIEVE the ones who are out for a free ride....They find out what you do in your career...and WOW do the $$$ flash!! Im glad you pay...a pat on the back for you and a kick in the shins for the losers who dont!!!. This wasnt about you though??? Just an answer to a general question :)
 whodeletedme
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 74
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 7:13:24 PM
I could basically give a rat's a$$ what someone makes as long as they aren't a lazy SOB looking for a free-ride ( male or female) however I take offense to people who get all bent out of shape when asked what they do for a living,.... it is JUST a point of conversation ,... nice to see if they like their job? want a different one? is it a stepping stone for future dreams and endeavours? it can be a PART of WHO you are so why not ask?? I know that my career is important and I want to be able to discuss it with those interested. MY ex couldn't care less what I did yet it was such a HUGE part of WHO I am that we never related on the subject because he refused to discuss "how my day went" .
 itz_justme
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 75
When a man says a woman must be financially secure. What does it tell you about him?
Posted: 6/9/2006 7:27:15 PM
Try being on the recieving end of the matter...I bet you would think differently...My replies were to the losers who do take women for granted, asking their occupation etc.This is for the women who are out for what they can get also.....You can tell if someone is genuinely interested in what you do...or if they are out for something...Im all for sharing what you do at work..and "how was your day" to the right person......Finding the right person is the key...I am a firm believer whats yours is YOURS...whats mine is mine.....BUT...I DO SHARE..Im not out for anything.....except earning an honest living and supporting my 2 kids....so we can live comfortable lives.
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