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Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 40
Why guys don't dance.Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Tincup, Hon....I'd dance with you public or private!!
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 41
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 2:35:58 AM

There's a reason why there's no Saturday Night Fever II

Ummm, it was called "Staying Alive."

But please, carry on.
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 42
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:39:09 AM
Turning to Seinfeld:

Girl says "I can't believe we're going dancing."
Jerry says "Me either."
Girl says "You don't go?"
Jerry says "No because it's so stupid."

I used to be a really good dancer. As part of our show when I played in the band we did a LOT of dancing where we'd bring girls up on the stage, went off stage down to the floor for a twist contest, and in some spots the horn section guys would do line dancing kind of unison steps, mainly the old two step kind of thing. Think "Blues Brothers" when they played GImme Some Lovin'.

However (there's always a however) what I saw FROM the stage turns me off to dancing. I watch all these old people trying to recapture their lost youth, men with bad rugs, women with 11 layers of makeup, thinking in true Jackie Gleason fashion (Do the hucklebuck....) that it's things that keep you young. "Young people dance. Ergo, if I dance, people will think I am young." Well, it doesn't work like that, and most of the old people dancing looked really stupid and out of place. Whether they cared or not doesn't matter, they did. If they didn't care that they were making fools of themselves, kudos for their attitude of not caring, but the fact is they looked ridiculous.

Now, there's dancing, and there's DANCING. I know couples my age that do the fancy ballroom stuff with the swirls and dips and all of it and that I respect. But the old people that go out twice a year and just stand on a dance floor and do the belly rubbing dancing yet say "I like going dancing", that is kind of pathetic. That's ain't dancin' Sally!

I went to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy a few times, and I COULD NOT BELIEVE the young kids doing the 40s swing dancing. One pair NEVER sat down. They had a step for every rhythm, including doing a mean mambo when they did The Mambo Swing, and a really sultry thing during Minnie The Moocher. They were GREAT, like should be on TV great. I happened to step to the bar for a beer during the band's intermission and mentioned that these are the dances their grandparents probably did. The girl laughed and pointed to a table and said "And they are right over there. They taught us how to do these dances." And in the next set, during "Jump With My Baby", this 65-ish couple got up and did the Linde Hop like they invented it. Now THAT is cool. But the people who say "I like going dancing" and really don't know how, you can keep it.

In those "Travolta" years, I was really good at it. The Hustle, The Monorail (that came back as The Electric Slide), all of it. That was my late 20s and early 30s, and I looked like I fit when I would get on a dance floor.

Now in my middle 50s, with knees so bad I can hardly walk, it's not in my program anymore.
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 43
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 6:07:20 AM

I may be a white guy but that white guy shuffle just doesn't cut.

Not to mention that we can't jump....

I won't even mention country.

And I appreciate that!! You may get slammed for that comment, but not by me. Years as a funk and jazz musician have honed my attitude that "country music" is an oxymoron like "jumbo shrimp".

It's either music, or it's country.

As far as the dancing thing, Gerry I understand your point of view. The difference is that you know what you are doing and when you dance you don't look like someone in the middle of an epileptic seisure. Far too many do.

And that whole country line dancing thing.... geeze!! It's like watching Hitler's guys in the jack boots doing the goose step. While I think it's cute to see couples in their 70s dressing up like little salt an pepper shakers, matching plaid shirts with the mother of pearl buttons, I fail to see why it's fun to go out and have to do what everybody else is doing.

I was in Dallas once and I went over to Fort Worth and spent an evening in Billy Bob's. I had a great time and saw some REALLY good dancers, but for every one that knew what they were doing there were 25 that looked like they were having a medical emergency. Of course many of them were tourists like me and I guess it factors in that nobody there will every see you again.....

I did let a pretty little cowgirl waltz me around the floor a time or two. She was surprised that being a fat guy I could dance and was light on my feet.

See, I am Slovenian, and it is in the genetic code and the Slovenian rule book that when you hit 7-8 years of age your mother must teach you how to do the polka and the waltz. And you drink either Rolling Rock beer or Kesslers and ginger ale. For medicinal purposes only, of course..... So when the waltzing part of Billy Bob's come up, I was there! And the polka is a modified two step anyway, so I hung right in with 'em!!!
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 44
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:16:55 PM
Well, here's my input:

1) All it really does for me is get me hot and sweaty. If I want to be that way and get exercise, I'll work out at a gym (or some other, similar activity).

2) Personally, I was never good at it. It didn't help that when I was 21, I had an emergency operation that left me with a pinched (or cut) nerve. The pain finally stopped when I was about 35. I actually had myself x-rayed to make certain that something wasn't left behind by accident from the operation. Attempting to dance after (and some other activities as well) aggravated the pain. It's not a matter of confidence. It's just not enjoyable.

3) I agree with the comment made by someone else: "When and where were we supposed to learn?" Back at my elementary school, there was a "dance" class - but it wasn't couples dancing. It was more like a precursor to performance dance. For half of us in the class, such probably created more of an adversion to the activity than any other result. It was really lame. I consider "line dancing" in the performance category.

OK, so maybe this was supposed to be one of those skills where one learns by example, not in school. How can one learn if there are no examples around?

4) Some people just can't do things without (some idea of) a plan. Alot of what I've observed seems spontaneous or even random (especially when the music hasn't been heard before). Not everyone is wired like that.

5) Does being musically inclined make it easier to dance?
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 45
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 11/21/2007 2:51:34 AM
I rarely dance at all. I most certainly never dance around other people, especially not in public.
I am way too self conscious and feel like a fool when i do dance in the presence of others.
I have to be in a very specific kinda mood to dance at all and have to have music i especially like.
I have to be in a happy mood AND feel like being silly in order to be in the mood to dance.
It is possible for a g/f of mine to see me dance. If she gets such an honor it is because we have been together a while and i feel comfortable enough to show her that particular silly side of me.
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 46
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:10:13 PM
I think the reason men can't dance (and a lot of them can't) is because they see all physical activity as goal oriented. Sports, sex, work... a way to get something... a score, to score, or scoring money.

Dancing isn't like that (unless you are a professional dancer) Dancing is something that starts in your chest with the rhythym and melody and courses through your blood and your body just begins to move. If you CARE about how you look, you will never be able to get past "The Shuffle" (we've ALL seen the shuffle..guy paces back and forth from one foot to another, tense as hell but trying to look like he's enjoying himself and tries to do something with his arms.. it's embarrassing to watch because you can FEEL his discomfort and self-consciousness) Dancing is communication with the body, it's a celebration of being a physical being, it's FEELING the music, not just HEARING it. It's interpreting what you feel into movement. Have you never noticed that women will dance when no one's dancing with them, or with their friends? Do you know how many women dance alone in their homes? Dancing is not a goal oriented's just fun, and it feels good. (watch Flashdance...again)

Go to a Goth club one night... they have very few social restrictions on self-expression. There will be some dude, in eyeliner, dancing all by himself... and being REALLY good at it. He doesn't even SEE the rest of the crowd. I love watching that guy.

Or a Punk club where the guys express their rage and anger on the dance floor... come on...anyone can mosh!

I just don't believe that most women have a better sense of rhythym than men. I think women just have less inhibitions when it comes to displaying their physicality. I don't think women are more coordinated either. Look at Mikhail, oh my... or Fred Astaire, or Gene Kelly... amazing dancers.

Is it cultural repression? I'm not sure.

And why are Black men usually (not always, but a higher percentage than white guys...and I don't know about Asians because I haven't really noticed a lot in the clubs where I've lived) good dancers? Is it a cultural thing? I'm curious.

I have way more attraction to a guy who would risk looking like a dork to enjoy himself than I do for a guy who wouldn't, shows me he's confident and fun-loving...and doesn't give a damn how he "looks", I like that in a man. Even when a man can't dance well I give him credit for getting out there anyway. And if some man I was seeing offered to take dance lessons with my I'd be absolutely thrilled. Ballroom, or Salsa!

So guys...get out there. I'm sure you have a female friend who would be happy to help you out...

Dancers make good lovers! It's all in the rhythym.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 49
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/18/2011 5:01:25 PM
I've been dancing pro and semi-pro for close to ten years now. And in ,my capacity as instructor, I've noticed that men have a fear of thinking of themselves as graceful.
Once they get past that, they tend to do just fine.
So many guys I've met who tell me they just can't meet women. I have three words for them;"Learn to dance" then there will never be any shortage of all manner of females to meet, dance with and/or date. Firstly, it places you in a "target rich" environment; secondly women like guys who dance and dance well. Third, It's just mad crazy fun!!
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 50
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/20/2011 2:06:31 AM
I went back several pages on this thread and read some interesting comments.
I began dancing seriously at age 51 after having retired from a career as a pro musician(trombonist). I needed an outlet for my musical the musical side o f my self, so I thought I'd try dancing after having spent many years as a musician playing for dancers.
I had always loved Latin music and salsa was a natural choice for me. Learning this dance form has proved incredibly rewarding for me. The people in it are fantastic in the main. This dance is popular the world over and there doesn't appear to be a single major city on this globe that doesn't have it. When I travel There's always an instant "in" with locals through the salsa scene there. I've been to Paris, Moscow, Seoul, Berlin, Tokyo, Puerto Rico, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle and danced mad salsa, while meeting cool fun people!
I count learning this dance as one of THE best decisions I EVER made. It has changed my lifestyle radically for the better. As we say in Salsa circles,"It's the most fun you can have with your pants on". And for you guys worried about looking "Gay" , salsa is an incredibly macho dance; for the guy, It's about projecting a strong sense of masculinity, but with gentleness and passion.
If you read my profile you'll see that I'm not pushing hard to meet anyone here...I'm way too busy meeting and dating fit, hot, and attractive women of ALL kinds on the Salsa Scene!!
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 51
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/22/2011 9:45:28 PM
gosh, are we on this ""guy's don't dance" thing again?

yes, guys dance- just as there are women who swallow.

you just have to find one that does what you like- and if it is that important to you, then you don't date men who don't dance.

its that simple.

just like not dating guys who don't have a car...

take 'em off the list.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 52
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/22/2011 11:29:48 PM

Wow and it only took 6 pages for the truth to come out lol. For women who don't believe this, when was the last time someone danced with you and didn't try to get your number or try to hook up with you?

true as that is.

there are PLENTY of guys who DO dance and ARE good at it...

AND, despite their proclivities towards dancing DO use it as a way to hook up with chicks.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/23/2011 4:00:04 AM

For women who don't believe this, when was the last time someone danced with you and didn't try to get your number or try to hook up with you?

Exactly. Which is why most of us now dance with our friends and ignore the rest of it. Any other way, there's too much boy girl stuff going on. Some of us just want to dance, drink, laugh, have fun and go home.
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 54
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/23/2011 8:31:18 AM
Most guys who won't dance simply don't know how, and they don't want to look stupid or clumsy. Back in the 70's, there was a big backlash against disco mainly because all the macho guys were losing their girlfriends to those of us who were taking their girls out dancing all night; we learned that most girls love to dance, and simply provided the right circumstances for them to realize what clods their soon to be ex-boyfriends were. Still works, BTW, but it's gotta be real dancing, couples touching. Break dancing is simply a form of masturbation.
Joined: 2/6/2011
Msg: 55
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/25/2011 1:21:43 PM
i'm 58 and i'm the best fast dancer in Youngstown, Ohio. not a bad grinder either.

it was always the easiest way i could find to meet girls and eventually date and bed them.

but it's not as easy NOW as it once was. back in the day (70's-80's)you had to go table to table from the rear of the club to the front and work the room asking for dances.

today at the hiphop/pop clubs you have to GO OUT ON THE DANCEFLOOR AND "ASK".

by asking i mean putting your hands on her hips from behind. she'll look around at you and if she likes you she'll GRIND her AZZ up against your crotch. otherwise she'll just say no thanks and you walk off the dancefloor with all the people there to see your mission was a failure.

a little tougher today.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 56
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/25/2011 10:56:17 PM

For women who don't believe this, when was the last time someone danced with you and didn't try to get your number or try to hook up with you?

Last night. And the night before that. And I will again tomorrow night. And I could have tonight but I didn't feel like making the drive. In fact, I've been dancing at least once a week (and most of the time more often than that) for over ten years. Now, occasionally a guy *has* asked for my number and I met my last steady BF dancing. However, the dance circles I'm in are not pickup scenes. We're there to dance.

Guys, if you want to meet women, learn how to dance. Take some lessons. Ninety percent of women like to dance; 90% of men don't. I know some really geeky guys who are quite popular because they can dance. Do the math.

Dancing looks good in young people
some things are not meant to be done after a certain age, this is one of them

Booolsheeet . . .

Besides, I'm not out there to look good to you, I'm out there to have fun.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 59
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/26/2011 8:25:11 AM

No ones looking at you anyway unless you are doing something spectacular or extremely odd..

Half the threads here would be eliminated if everyone would just GET that. No one's looking at you or paying attention you nearly as much or as often as you think or worry about. Most people out in the world are so wrapped up in themselves they aren't that interested in what anyone else is doing.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 60
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/26/2011 12:38:52 PM

Dancing looks good in young people
some things are not meant to be done after a certain age...
There were a couple of guys
35 and up, the oldest men around...
You could tell they were OLD just by the way they thought "grinding" should be done...
Some people men and women, don't know when it's time to stop doing things they were OK to do when they were younger...

lol I guess folks might as well put a bullit in their heads after 35 and stop having sex, cuz they are just TOO old to do it.

I know TONS of folks that are over 35, myself included - actually LOVE to dance and do it often and LOOK good doing it. Know how to do it....Enjoy it.

GRINDING is NOT dancing.

In many ways dancing is very much a cultural thing. Typically speaking- us white folks are known as not having rhythm. And the way MOST white folks dance, they (I used to be in this boat) are just bad dancers and have no clue where the beat is.

WHY? because generally speaking- we white folk do NOT grow up dancing in the family as other cultures do. And the only times they go out dancing is grind sessions at the High School Gym and then drunking grind sessions after HS in the clubs.

If a guy cannot dance worth a durn at 16-25 and has not practiced it, he is NOT going to be at 35, unless he practices it and/or takes lessons.

bottom line is- it is NOT a very important part of MOST of white american culture. but it IS a very imporatant part of MANY people's lives...

again- go find a guy where it IS important or that they ARE good at dancing...

even if, God forbid- he is over 35...
Joined: 2/6/2011
Msg: 61
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/27/2011 9:31:42 AM
forum fishie said:

Except when you are in a public place trying to pick up women who are half your age
then it's just right down CREEPY, I don't care how good of a dancer they were in 1986

because it's creepy TO YOU doesn't mean it's creepy to EVERYONE.

some peeps think anal sex is nasty.
some think white women/black men are creepy.
some think doing drugs is wrong.
some think having horrible arguments then having great make up sex is normal.

everyone has their preferences.
some women like older men and enjoy grinding with them.
it doesn't take much talent for a man to grind. it's the woman who has to be talented.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 62
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 2/27/2011 3:20:26 PM

I was describing the old men grinding, I do not grind or let a stranger grind me, but if you love it, go at it, to each it's own, I think is embarrassing but maybe you'll enjoy it well into your 6O's.

Grinding is not dancing. And I don't think it looks good on anyone.

Well, I was dancing again last night. Mostly, it's folks in their 20s but we had several in their 30s, 40s, two of us in our 50s, and one guy in his 70s who is one of the hottest dancers on the dance floor. He used to compete when he was younger and is still a ball of fire.

I don't need some young whippersnapper to tell me I should stop dancing. Stop dancing your own self.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 63
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/3/2011 1:49:08 PM

Partner dancing is a good way to get to know your partner, unfortunately, too many bands think they have to play as loud as possible to show how enthusiastic they are, making any sort of conversation impossible. Same with DJ's, many of whom seem to think their loud comments during songs helps people to have more fun.

Agreed. I hate to take my own industry down, but as a DJ I assume the crowd's more interested in the music I'm playing than what I have to say or who I am (outside shout outs to customers or staff of course, because it's about them, not me). Truth be told I can't stand someone who talks through everything they play, or assumes they are supposed to be the attraction in the DJ booth. *shrug*

The crowd and the music ARE the attraction, generally, or are supposed to be.

That said, clubs and bars aren't for conversation, they are for atmosphere, fun, etc - so those who are trying to have meaningful conversation are going to be frustrated. If you want to have a conversation, you are supposed to talk somewhere else. Exchange information and talk on the phone, or adjourn to/meet another time in a place that has little to no music playing and a comfortable place to sit.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 64
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/3/2011 2:01:09 PM

For women who don't believe this, when was the last time someone danced with you and didn't try to get your number or try to hook up with you?

I dance plenty of times with plenty of women and I don't ask for their number nor try to hook up with them.

unfortunately, too many bands think they have to play as loud as possible to show how enthusiastic they are, making any sort of conversation impossible. Same with DJ's, many of whom seem to think their loud comments during songs helps people to have more fun.

when I go dancing- I'm there to dance. Not to discuss Plato...

there are so many different ways to communicate with someone on the dance floor that has nothing to do with opening my mouth to talk.

if I want ""conversation"" I will goto a lounge or a coffee house, etc...

Just like going to a movie- I goto watch the movie, not talk to a date...
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 65
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/27/2011 8:10:12 PM to go against the grain here......I'm 42, and chok full of confidence. I think I look decent enough for my age and when I attended a conference in Vegas in January I hit all the cool clubs with some of my buddies. Tryst, Pure, Jet, to name a few...........I had NO problem dancing and also had no problems meeting tons of women at the same time..........

Could have hooked up many, many times but I have a lovely girlfriend who I adore......

Nonetheless....I had a great time. Guys, if you want to meet women, grab some balls and get out on the dance floor. Dress to impress, be clean and neat, and smell good........You'll be amazed at what happens...........relax, be confident, and get out there.

Anything else is simply an excuse.......
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 69
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/30/2011 4:08:52 AM
I remember an old friend of mine once put it this way... "I'm afraid that I'll be out there and forget my moves". He feared the awkwardness of just standing on the dance floor shrugging his shoulders. I thought it was a great way of putting it.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 70
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/30/2011 8:02:31 AM
As I've mentioned elsewhere in this post, I've been a pro and semi-pro dancer for over ten years.
In the course of instructing others I've noticed the following, and it's been very consistent:
out of 10 new dancers, 3 will become good, 4 will struggle, but learn to enjoy dancing; the last 3 will never get it now matter how much you work with them.
Men will start out progressing slower than women, but in many cases the guys will find a real passion for dance and out distance the ladies.
I've also noticed that the avid social dancer has a certain profile. They tend to be individuals who are high achievers, generally interested in personal development, patient with the process of learning new things, and are able to remain on plateaus of learning without frustration. They are very sociable and friendly people and not at all shy.
For all of those reasons, I have chosen to build my social life around dancing; dancers are just my kind of people.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 72
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Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 3/30/2011 10:50:10 PM

One day I'm going to take some lessons & get back into it. Your post renewed my interest in it. One day, I'll have a gorgeous woman in my we dance the night away.

THIS is why the Salsa dance scene as a social scene makes so much sense!
It has ALL the basics for a great time...Wine , Women, and Song; A mood enhancing beverage of your choice(or not), Hot sexy gals of every stripe and kind in sexy outfits, all of whom are friendly and ready to mingle, while dancing close to you to exiting and sensual music...In other words, a relaxed, fun, target rich environment...Duh!!
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