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 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 2
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I got off easy for about $3500, but I guess that might have something to do with the fact she never even really put up much of a fight, I think she just let it go to court so she could put me futher in debt. But it was the best money I ever spent and I got both kids in the end, so it was all worth it.
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 14
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:26:39 PM
Love this thread,

Dirtguy78 said it best You child/ren is/are priceless.

My one Daughter.

Went through 8 attornies in three years. Don't piss in my face and charge me 175-250 hour. I Personally petitioned the Highest Judge in the State ,Judge Bell to have Judge Joseph Kaplan retired Judge sit on MY case becuse it took 14 months for a trial because DSS grabbed my daughter when wife was arrested.AFTER ...yes AFTER "I" petitioned for custody.

Liquidated a saw mill, Sweet 57 Chevy, Front End loader, 79 KZLTD1000, 1973 Z1900, and a paid for 3 y.o. saturan.......All at below market value.

Lawyers, Investgators and all that other B.S. Paper work you write checks for as you are going along ...Lost count around $85,000 ( less then $95,000 though). Folks kicked in about $20,000. They refuse to tell how much.

Never touched a $350,000 house thats has 27-28K owed to bank, and sitting on about another 175-200K in assests So I am so F'in blessed. I won't cry...It's just money, can't take it with you.

My heart goes to the guys that don't have the resourses to fight in this womens arena.

I would have fought and liquidated right down to the price of a box of shotgun shells.

POF still reading.....Here's the kicker.....I wasn't fighting my wife. I was fighting the STATE Only.

In closing.... all you parents out there that might be reading this thread with family matters in rough waters.... If I can tell you anything.....Add up the money on this thread that lined lawyers pockets.......STAY out of the courts....period.

BDJ
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 23
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:15:27 PM
^^^^^dirtguy78^^^^

You can't get blood from a rock!!!!!!!

excdtgurl.......keep rereading thread from top to bottom until you graspe...

If you can't...Here's a good hint.....your comments are being posted on the wrong thread... You are preaching to the choir.

I doubt you will find another thread is such agreement.

I Would personally like to THANK YOU to the 2 postings though as your articulation compound all the parents here their just rewards for fighting are highlighted by yourself.

Good luck, at 19 you are just a kid with your whole life ahead of you foget your past at all possible times in your life....( well except that momment of thoughts of birth control) look forward and be strong.

BDJ
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 25
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 6:04:31 AM
That Guy Him........Don't want to get off track, just want to say ONE word.


AMEN.......AMEN.........AMEN.......................AMEN....................................AMEN........................................................................................................................ A Fricken AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oops 2 words sorry.

BDJ
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 29
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:45:52 AM
^^^ YEP^^^

Already gave of 14 months of my life sitting with no bail as the state went on a witch hunt coupled with lawyers screwing me harder then I did to get my daughter here.

Guess what, No guilty verdict, and the same hunters returned my child 2 years later.

Money is just a bench mark as it is the common exchange on the planet, and a question OP posed.

I've only been away from my child by court order or false incarceration.


"........BUT IN TIME MY SON AND I WERE APART THERE IS NO PRICE THAT CAN BRING BACK THE TIME I LOST WITH HIM.I DON'T PUT A COST ON THE LOVE OF MY SON..."


Since you claim not to have ponied up a penny, care to elaborate why you were apart from your son??? I answered your question.

Thanks

BDJ.
 auhsoj1981
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 35
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/25/2006 6:20:17 PM
It cost me just under 10,000. I also had to prove my babys mom unfit. She still gets limited visitations with no overnight stays. She has also not started paying child support.
 Boltflight
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 39
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:03:32 PM
I like the way put that.I couldn`t have said it better myself.
For me I had to take her to court twice.I lost the first time,after mentioning safety concerns.Two years after we were back in court.Let`s just say they should have listened to me the first time.This time I got full custody,and the mother got nothing at all.
It all cost me about $40,000. and a good job.I was let go because I was missing too much work for court dates,etc.It cost me on a personal level also.
All that matters now is that my son is safe, happy,healthy,and well-adjusted.Being a single father is the most rewarding,honerable, and fun thing I have done or will ever do in my life.
I dont` want to think about life without him every day.Hat`s off to all u single Dads.
 Boltflight
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 41
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:42:27 PM
It`s about safety concerns,U need to prove then.Also, a big part of that was the judge game her chances to go to parenting classes and she refushed.I was able to show a long term patern of neglect and abuse.I was able to show that the mother was given every chance to be a better mom ,but she didnt work at it at all.
The thing that really helped was, I hired a well-know child psychologist.He said"It would be best for the child that the mother has nothing more to do with him then a phone call or greating card on special occassions."I hope that helps.
Note; do whatever u have to to prove your case.Videotape,police reports,statements,Dr assesments,child worker reports,audio tape.Do whatever u can.I hope this helps.
 Man In New Hampshire
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 44
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/11/2006 2:35:18 PM
In Massachusetts kids (14+) can let it be known how they feel. But the judge has the final say until they are 18. I went through it and had to give up everything including child support and agreeing to sell the house (my daughter had 1 1/2 years left to high school) to get custody. She wanted her money out of the house so she could get off to a new start.
 KCGUY
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 48
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 8/21/2006 11:37:29 AM
Cost me 300 bucks and a hell of a lot of planning.
 _CFH_
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 49
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 8/21/2006 11:45:48 AM
well, i'm going through the whole custody battle as we speak. But, she is living with the guy she left me for in North Carolina, and this guy told her that she can stay with him but he's not going to support her. I think he's just using her for a booty call and is mad that she left me and she is his responsibility now! She also has a CPS claim against her for child abuse, so i hope it swings in my favor cause she took my son and i haven't seen him since the end of last month.
 4408joseph
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 50
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:15:39 AM
It only cost we roughly 100K out of pocket... Can't actually put a price on lost work and commercal contracts I was forced to give up, and lost value on sold assests and retirment money.

BUT...... the state spent millions....lol.. Whcich happens to be ran 50% state funds 50% Federal... So all the USA readers ponied up close to a 1/2 million dollars(in my eyes) for me to have my child.

I call my daughter the 2 million dollar baby..

Can someone tell me what in cost the great state to run a courtroom with a Judge,court reporter, secretary,1/2 dozen baliffs, the 4 state attornies(my daughter's/wife's/DDS's/ and a State Attorney), 3 social workers( daughter's/X's and supervisor), and at least one state doctor was there everytime.I lost track after more then a dozen court dates... I actually got a kick out of watching the Judge and 1/2 dozen attornies all pull out their date books trying to match and cram the NEXT hearing within the 30 days required by law....

Then there is the visiting center, the clerks doing the paperwork to redo the court dates. The transporttation of moving my daugther around. The year she spent in government housing. The state doctors theX,child,and I were ordered to see. The parenting classes, the anger managemnet classses. The DDS inspectors that came to my house 3 pre-trial, and 3 post trials (until the case was officiallly closed) and ent to the Foster house. The bill for a year in Foster care. The drug classes and parenting classes the X was ordered.

Sooooo, all you POF'ers that are in the USA and had to cover the Federal Governments price tag for the 50% budget of the Family courts in my state.......

Sorry my local governmet chases their tail, and it had to be done with such non- accountantability.....but....

Money well spent.... My daughter is almost 7, advanced in school, and not one dime from anywhere even tax break or reduced school lunches come in this household.

 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 51
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:33:27 AM
my new boss told me it cost him 30 grand.

That was JUST attorney fees.

Bunny
 coachjfl
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 53
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:21:38 PM
myladyshyanne:

The problem with letting courts decide anything is.....they suck at it! Anyone who truly believes that the court is going to do due diligence or spend more than a few hours to investigate these issues is kidding themselves. The same courts give foster kids back to unworthy parents and then we read about the child dying or getting hurt. No thanks, I'll battle it for all I got before I let some overburdened case worker who spends an hour in the home determine who gets the child.

The belief that a Dad cannot raise a child equally as well as Mom is Bull Sh*t. This isn't the 50's, moms aren't staying at home with the kids anymore they have jobs and careers just like Dads do. As such, there is no difference who drops them off at day care or picks them up. There is no difference who tucks them in at night or washes their clothes (yes I separate the whites). Do they need their mother? Yes they do, just as much as they need their Dad. If dad is willing and able to care for them he should be given an equal opportunity to do so.

I agree that parents need to work on their ability to work these things out. But I submit, if they were able to work through problems of this magnitude, most wouldn't be getting a divorce in the first place.

jmho
 honestone 527
Joined: 10/20/2004
Msg: 55
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:29:13 PM
nothing,
shortly before we split up someone turned us into DCFS because i was working for a computer type setting firm as a driver and was on call 24/7 I was making alot of trips into their main plant about 5 hours round trip for each trip with 23 trips a day and with trips into O'hare airport in the midle of the night and sometimes downtown chicago. when I wasn't working I was trying to clean house which apparently she had a problem with. someone turned us into DCFS so I thought I could get rid of her because she didn't want to do anything except run around bars and cheat. DCFS decided the mother has all rights. so they threw me out of my own house and gave her everything. awhile later kids kept getting headlice and every weekend I spent trying to get rid of them just so they could keep getting them back. in the meantime every attorney I talked to said because DCFS was involved it would cost me $5,000 - $10,000 unless DCFS decided in my favor. I was advised that if she was as bad as I said sooner or later DCFS would wake up and she would hang herself. within 1 year DCFS gave up on her and took them away from her and I would need to go to court to get custody and they would stand up for me this time. I went to another lawyer that was new and he said he would take my case pro bono as long as DCFS was on my side now. 1 day in court and I had my kids.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 58
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:54:12 AM
Crocodilelady, there is no way to know to whom you're replying, especially in a thread this old.

Perhaps if you quoted the text of the message to which you're referring? Or at least the message number on the left side of the screen.

On topic: It cost me a couple thousand, perhaps... mediator and lawyer fees. But then again, my ex-wife ain't the most maternal person on the planet, so she wasn't really that interested in having them more than part-time.
 looptex1
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 59
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:50:42 PM
Dang, yall need to get better lawyers. I only spent 1000 and spent one day in court.got custody of 3 girls ages 4 ,5, and 7..And couldv'e saved that if I had knew how stupid her lawyer was..
 obmij2
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 60
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:35:12 PM
Yep I'm battling the NC family court system as well. This state is supposed to be a 50/50 custody state where the father and mother are entitled to equal custody under the law HOWEVER it's up to the family court justices to enforce those laws and they do it with a heavy prejudice against fathers. I filed for custody in March and don't even have a court date yet. My ex had a suicide attempt in March and had to be hospitalized for 10 days. She is now diagnosed as "bipolar" and is on disability and still I was unsuccessful in my first attempt at custody because she lives with her retired parents and I am a single father who lives alone. That same judge would have no problem awarding custody to a single unemployed mother yet wouldn't hear my case. In fact it happens everyday. I have no criminal record and no history of violence or drug abuse. I own my own business and have for 15 years. I am stable. There is no reason why I shouldn't have full custody under the circumstances and I have spent 7,000 in legal fees just trying to get the court to enforce the joint custody that I am entitled to. Further more when she was in the hospital she told the case worker that I wasn't contributing enough. I pay her 150.00 per week cash, Pay a 300.00 per month car payment, & Pay 185.00 per week day care among other expenses in return get almost no time with my son and now i have to show monthly receipts and reports to the child support agency just because she said so and despite the facts that i have three years worth of returned checks to the contrary. I would gladly give every thing that I own and every thing I ever will own for my son's well being but the truth is the court is not looking out for him they are protecting her. My lawyer says things will work out once we get our day in court. I can not wait.
 daddy-day-care
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 62
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Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:54:35 AM
hello from australia
Its cost me $80,000 +, 1 yr in courts, i saw my kids for 6weeks out that year, now 9 court cases later i am found without fault, i have the family home, i have a job, i have the car etc...

On the other hand she had her legal cost paid buy the state, has nowhere to live, no job, no car, has being court out lying through out the whole court case.

Now the judge decicded to do share care 50/50

The mother refuses to comunicate she has being orded she is not allowed at change overs because of the trouble she starts etc... i ask how is share care supposed to work??? the kids have had no education in 8 months?? and she is a qualified teacher??

and the law says we are to be treated as eaquals?
 tmbmx
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 63
Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:54:28 PM
Nothing she left after 19 years says she did not want to be a wife or a mother anymore. Although it take 5 years to get leagaly divorced. SHe did notwant that part. LOL
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