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 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 493
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Men over 55!Page 10 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

So angel, what you are saying is just because he is "rude", you have the right to be rude too. She could have at least said: "you are drunk, I am hungry, and I am going home. goodbye". Leaving without a word is juvenile, rude and offensive. There is no excuse for it, but women are often mean and offensive because they feel they are entitled to act that way. I have said this before and will again, its often about them. Women are often heartless. And that's pretty funny because they are supposed to be the compassionate sex. But they are not. And then after they are alone and reach their sixties, all they can do on these boards is rant about how rotten guys are and how all they are interested in is sex. Those women never recognized that they made their own beds and that's why they are still alone.


Are your ears still ringin', face flushed.... balls sweatin' cowboy? lol
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 494
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/17/2012 9:50:08 AM
Aww, rusty...but that is the problem here with ALL the threads!

"People really shouldn't automatically have knee jerk reactions without hearing the whole story"

In 99.99% of all threads, we NEVER hear the whole story, just one side of it. I can remember any number of threads, where man or woman post a story expecting everyone to agree with them. Then as the replies come in they move the goalpost(change the facts of the OP) to get people on board.

I've done first dates to concerts where I paid scalper prices for the tickets. I did it because "I" wanted to see the concert and the timing worked out that it coincided with a first date. It didn't work out, because we did not have the attraction to date more. I didn't regret paying and seeing the concert. I didn't expect sex for it either...

I simply went out to have fun, and this was part of it.

Now I have no idea what was running through his head, inviting her to dinner or out at dinner time. Then again, maybe he eats later, or maybe she is used to eating earlier. I don't defend him, because I don't know him. I don't defend her, because I don't get why she didn't order something to eat either, even if that meant paying for it herself.

Then again, I don't get most of you!! When I returned to dating, I simply took up where I left off. Which to me means, I don't do coffee meets, because I don't wish to be grilled like some guy in a police station. I do dinner dates. I also am a freakin dinosaur and believe men should pay(at least men my age). For other guys, hey I get it, they want a shared expense thing when it comes to dating, good luck to them with that!

Again...this dancing bear routine where guys are responsible for entertaining anyone is nonsense. BOTH should be responsible and respectful. That doesn't happen alot in online meeting, IMO. When you met someone through friends, or in a social situation, you got a sense of who they were, BEFORE you asked them out. So many of what passed for "r and r" rules, have gone by the wayside.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 495
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/17/2012 2:46:12 PM

She could have at least said: "you are drunk, I am hungry, and I am going home. goodbye".

IMO, that would also be pretty rude, Neither you nor I was there, but I wonder if the guy was giving off a vibe that he would make a scene,if she was direct with him.
Personally, I think she could have said "Sorry, I just don't think we're going to be a good match-I'll see myself out and not take up any more of your time."Seems to me this would be a better plan than confronting him about his behavior.


I can remember any number of threads, where man or woman post a story expecting everyone to agree with them. Then as the replies come in they move the goalpost(change the facts of the OP) to get people on board.

I certainly cannot disagree with this observation.


And then after they are alone and reach their sixties, all they can do on these boards is rant about how rotten guys are and how all they are interested in is sex. Those women never recognized that they made their own beds and that's why they are still alone.


You can TRY to insult and downgrade women who won't date YOU-but I can tell you that a lot of women in their sixties are divorced or widowed. Perhaps they've LEARNED to become "heartless",to some extent, and to put their compassion where it does the most good. Why do you need "compassion", timeforall?


Those women never recognized that they made their own beds and that's why they are still alone.

Mo, I think a lot of women in late fifties, early sixties have been part of a couple for a long time. Either the partnership failed, or the partner died. In some cases of late-onset mental illness, criminal behaviors, addictions, a woman has little choice but to end a relationship-especially if there are children in the home,
And yeah, we know a lot of men don't want to date women with children at home. Some of the men that are willing to date a woman with kids under 18,have an agenda of one sort or another. NOTE WELL, I'm not saying that "most men" are like this,or that "a lot" of men are like this-but there are enough of them out there peeing in the dating pool, that women in their 60s' aren't "wondering" anything. Compassion begins with taking care of YOURSELF, so that you are able to help those in true need of compassion.


Again...this dancing bear routine where guys are responsible for entertaining anyone is nonsense. BOTH should be responsible and respectful. That doesn't happen alot in online meeting,

I never had any such expectations or experiences.I can't say that I've ever had an unpleasant date, let alone a "terrible" one. But then, I do screen hard with online guys and I won't pursue something where I don't feel strong mutual respect and chemistry. I know what the real deal is like, I accept no substitutes. And I've become quite convinced that I would vastly prefer a relationship that doesn't have marriage or cohabitation as its' goal.
Cindy O
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 496
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:18:08 PM

She could have at least said: "you are drunk, I am hungry, and I am going home. goodbye". Leaving without a word is juvenile, rude and offensive.

So is inviting a woman for dinner and drinks and then buying her 1 beer at a 2 for 1 happy hour and expecting her to sit through a 2 hour b*tch session about how much money his mother's nursing home cost. (This guy was an executive and extremely well-to-do.) He made no attempt to engage me in conversation, was pompous and full of himself. Most women would have been out of there after 20 minutes. My leaving could not have hurt his feelings too badly, he contacted me a week later and asked for another date!! I declined his invitation and blocked him.

This is why I pay my own way on a first meet...If the guy is an azz, I have no problem walking out because I have the option to cash out and go home. And if the man is a nice guy (many are), he knows I am sticking around because I am having fun, not because he is paying the bill. In fact the relationships that have been the best are the ones where we can take turns spoiling the other with a night out. I don't expect a man to pay my way, but it is pretty easy to spot those who enjoy treating a lady as such and those who are only in it for themselves.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 497
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:50:42 PM
"And if the man is a nice guy(many are) he knows I am sticking around because I am having fun, not because he is paying the bill"

OOOMG!!!! That is probably the best thing I have read from a woman I don't know from these forums!!!!!!

Ladies, please please, reread that sentence. That is really what dating is all about and should be about. Guys take note, this is what you want to hear.

It really doesn't matter if it ends in bed, or even if there is a second date. It matters that both of you had a great time together. Sometimes there is more, other times not so much.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 499
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Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 8:00:38 AM

ladyc4
Mo, I think a lot of women in late fifties, early sixties have been part of a couple for a long time. Either the partnership failed, or the partner died. In some cases of late-onset mental illness, criminal behaviors, addictions, a woman has little choice but to end a relationship-especially if there are children in the home,
And yeah, we know a lot of men don't want to date women with children at home. Some of the men that are willing to date a woman with kids under 18,have an agenda of one sort or another.

Cindy, how many women do you know that are in their late 50’s and early 60’s and have children under 18 at home?

I have talked to literally hundreds of women in that age category over the last 3 years, and I have only encountered two that had children under 18 at home. And both of those cases involved grandchildren. Now in their early 50’s, yes, I have encountered a few, but still only a few, a relatively small percentage.

ladyc4
I can't say that I've ever had an unpleasant date, let alone a "terrible" one. But then, I do screen hard with online guys and I won't pursue something where I don't feel strong mutual respect and chemistry.

I do not “screen hard”, not at all. If a woman is attractive, and doesn’t sound crazy (religion, politics, family), then I’m ready to meet. And just like you, I’ve never had an unpleasant date, despite going on well over 100 initial meetings in the last 3 years, and counting.

Cowboy
No not sure how I got mixed up in this crap.

Actually, I don’t think you were. RustyTraveler quoted timeforall, and used the word “cowboy” in the generic sense, not as a proper noun. At least, that’s the way I read it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 500
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 8:07:09 AM
OMG! I just spent two hours with someone who didn't pay
for my coffee/didn't offer to pay for their coffee and I think
they are a cheap bastich....said by no one ever who actually
was interested or enjoyed their time with a potential meet.

I think people in here are just ranting about their bad experiences
with meeting people from here. Surely not everyone has BAD dates,
but the bad ones are more interesting to discuss.

I'm with cowboy! (giddy up!)
I like short meets. I know within a few minutes if I can see myself
with the person and I see no point in wasting my time or theirs if
I can't. I also know it's bad news if the guy I'm meeting wants a double shot
of anything. If someone needs to be sloshed to hang out with me...
well that's a sign.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 502
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 1:21:37 PM

If you walk in and I go ewwwww it doesnt get better no matter how smart, sweet, kind hearted you are. Its still ewwwww and we are not getting kissy face and the meet is capped at 30 minutes or two drinks which ever comes first. And if I order a double shot of Jack or Tequila when you walk in thats NOT a good sign sweetie.


So what do you order if you like someone and how long does the meet last? Curious minds want to know.


The bartenders all knew me and loved me. I stopped in for a drink or two a lot of nights. They KNEW I was doing these pof first meets there. (rolls eyes...) It got so bad they started LAUGHING when women would walk into the bar area thinking they were coming to meet me. (cowboy holds face in palms)


I've arranged a lot of my first meets a my local BP's. We can order a drink or a coffee and if we get on well, then we can share a pizza or something.
But it's getting to the point where the staff are looking and me and probably thinking, "Everytime she comes in here she's with a different guy. " Hehe.

...mae
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 503
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History
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 2:41:32 PM
You're a ~Datable Commodity~ for as long as you Think you are!
I know I don't Look it...but...
I try to maintain a ~35-ish~ attitude and personality....
Still believing that I can attract some nice Lady in their late 30's / mid 40's . . I still Try!!
...not that I don't find women exactly my own age 'attractive'....just haven't met many . .
that were actually available!!
When I start Feeling my Age . . . I'm Checking-Out!!
 TomToriginal
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 504
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 7:17:43 PM
I am over 55.
Fantasy. No more than I ever had.
Dating. I have no desire to date a hundred women.
I just want one, very close in my life.
If that puts me out of the running then I guess this site is not the place to be looking.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 505
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/20/2012 8:45:06 PM
Reading this thread is like watching a bad car crash, in slow motion...it just keeps getting worse!

#502 "He nagged me for a month to meet, nagged nagged nagged..."

Now if you weren't impressed enough to meet him from the first 5 emails you exchanged...why would you continue to correspond with him for a month? I don't try and convince any woman of anything...if she sends me clipped answers to my emails, after 2, at most 3...I NEVER write her again!

I'd rather she say "not interested" than keep writing...but I can take a hint...

Why not block him if he is being annoying?

then I read #515...

"a`~35ish~attitude and personality" then "lady in their late 30's/mid 40's"

You're 57, hey I get the attraction. You maybe all that and a bag of chips, but 20 years younger? Even in their mid 40's is a stretch...don't get me wrong, you are free to look for whatever floats your boat. I just think you are setting your sights a bit higher or lower than is possible, for the average POF woman...

Or when I read #516...

You say "ask" and go onto mention "golddiggers"...a HUGE no-no on here. You may or may not have an idea of making them ask about you, as opposed to laying out who you are in your profile...but negativity mentioning golddiggers is going to turn some women off. Worse for you, more than 50% of women won't write a guy first. So waiting for ms right to send an email asking you about yourself is not gonna butter the bsicuit...


The site is not bad, guys just need to learn how to use it...some of the women are bad...not all, but some. Give them a description of who you are, and send some notes...some will respond.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 507
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/21/2012 9:21:16 AM
Well then Cowboy, here's hoping that in the New Year you will be no longer be "gulping down" double shots at your local steakhouse/bar but instead ........serving coffee in your kitchen *wink*

Sorry...could view the link you posted....NOT available in my country :(

Merry Chrismas and the best of the season

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 508
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History
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/21/2012 11:23:34 AM
Thanks Cowboy.....brings back memories and thoughts about all those shirts I have lost that way!!....;)

OT..........I so enjoy being optimistic about those I meet, no matter the situation, location, or activity, and the end result might not be anything more than another friend, another adventure, and another smile as I remember it all....

Merry Christmas to all!

cd
 -DigitalDog-
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 509
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/21/2012 2:43:03 PM
After reading this thread I must admit..
I still might not have a date nor know
where to find one...
But NOW I know WHOM NOT to bother with..
I sincerely thank these gals for identifying their selves..
///-- Digital Dog --\\\
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 511
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:05:34 AM
Thanks Cowboy.....brings back memories and thoughts about all those shirts I have lost that way!!....;)


"All those shirts?" Hmmm, maybe you better think about stock piling them for "special occasions"...hehe


OT..........I so enjoy being optimistic about those I meet, no matter the situation, location, or activity, and the end result might not be anything more than another friend, another adventure, and another smile as I remember it all....


May you have many fond memories *wink*


Btw Cowboy....Found the Keith Urban vid....very cute, very, very cute *big grin*

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 512
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History
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:18:12 AM
Ah Mae.......When past 50, as many of us are now, there are decades of memories that we can draw from, and I remember way back to my college days even, about those that enjoyed taking a shirt out of my closest or drawer and wearing it.....;)

There is just something about a sexy woman wearing your shirt and walking around in it as it hangs just right on her body......thus the song from Keith Urban and others......so...yes....cute, very cute.....or is that sensual? The best part about it all......is that it still happens today, no matter the age.

cd
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 513
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:30:56 AM
We put on his shirt not only because it is close to hand but because it feels (and smells) really good !
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 514
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:36:41 AM

We put on his shirt not only because it is close to hand but because it feels (and smells) really good !


Ummm, yes. That too *grins*
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 515
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History
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:44:34 AM
Cowboy: I feel sorry for the unsuspecting women meeting you, with the waitstaff snickering in the background. Can you not tell by their pictures/profile if they were attractive or interesting? Maybe a little more research and discernment before you meet if you are having such bad luck...(I wonder if the tables are ever turned and the women feel like running when they see you?)
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 517
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Men over 55!
Posted: 12/23/2012 3:55:57 PM
I don't blame ya there. I would make sure their pics are current and if they lie and you are disapointed, you shouldn't buy their dinner. (Nice tactic on your profile).
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 518
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/23/2012 9:47:15 PM
The self-delusion of some (within the past two pages on this thread alone at least 2 specifically "inspiring" this reply) "men over 55" is truly enlightening to behold. Ah well, it's the holiday season:
-- you're both beyond drop dead gorgeous;
--it's no wonder 80% of the insufficiently attractive women you meet are heartsick when they don't receive a kiss from the likes of your smoldering lips and rock hard, um, abs;
---and of course you should hold out for those 35-40 year olds. After all, neither of you looks a day over 35-40.

Ho. Ho. Ho. And God Bless Us, Every One! Ho Ho Hum.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 519
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/24/2012 7:51:57 AM
All of these threads where people go on and on whining about the opposite gender passing them up make me want to just grab the posters by the shoulders and give them a good shake. I want to ask them, "What do you have that he/she wants?" Because that is the bottom line. So you're a nice guy or a good woman. So freaking what? The world is overflowing with people that think they are nice and good. If you don't have anything else to offer, the world is going to reject you. You need to get off your butt and become someone the opposite sex will want. Sorry, but that's just how it is no matter how many birthdays you've had.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 520
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/24/2012 7:58:17 AM
it's no wonder 80% of the insufficiently attractive women you meet are heartsick when they don't receive a kiss from the likes of your smoldering lips and rock hard, um, abs;
---and of course you should hold out for those 35-40 year olds. After all, neither of you looks a day over 35-40.


Thanks for the healthy dose of Christmas sarcasm and keeping it Real. I think internet dating has been a great engine for keeping the delusional train running strong for both sexes.


You need to get off your butt and become someone the opposite sex will want


Most people have relatively narrow limits on how much then can change themselves so more likely they just need to accept and embrace who they are and find someone who accepts and embaraces that.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 521
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/24/2012 10:50:43 AM

You need to get off your butt and become someone the opposite sex will want


That might be a tall order. You can't make yourself chronologically younger, can't make yourself more intelligent, and though you can dress yourself up, if you are unattractive it is difficult, especially in older age, to do something about. Most of the unfit, fat women are not going to become svelte, toned and athletic looking in their fifties and sixties. The time to have done that, if you let yourself go, is probably long past. If you treat your body like garbage in your thirties and forties, its probably too late to do something about thereafter.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 522
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/24/2012 1:34:30 PM
Most of the unfit, fat women are not going to become svelte, toned and athletic looking in their fifties and sixties. The time to have done that, if you let yourself go, is probably long past. If you treat your body like garbage in your thirties and forties, its probably too late to do something about thereafter.


Sitting on your tush whining about it certainly isn't going to get you anywhere except where you already are.

There are a lot of unattractive men and women that are in happy relationships. The reason for that is they found something in themselves that the other person wanted.
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