|interracial couplesPage 10 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)|
|Besides being more culturally well-rounded, my opinion is that "mixed" babies are exquisite. Many of the more captivating beauties on this earth are mixed.|
Not to bring up the scourge of Slavery, which was by the way Tribes trading other Tribes for trinkets, that was the beginning of Mulattos, Quadroons, an Octaroons, and created a whole entire range of complexions here in the USA.
There is beauty on the outside and beauty on the inside, and I thiink that the Ideal Partnership shoulld be able to embrace them both, focusing on the Inside Beauty of an individual, but when the partner is darker, too often one must worry about what their associates might think.
Posted: 12/18/2006 8:37:49 PM
|blackdymond>>> I wasn't going to respond to this thread until i read your input. I agree with you. some people feel that they have to act a certain way or talk a certain way to mingle with the opposite race and yes ladies please give the hair back to the horses some of you look totally ridiculous. I personally have not dated out of my race because i choose not to. Life is too short not to strive for self improvement.|
Posted: 12/18/2006 11:52:05 PM
|to me, using "color" to describe someone versus "countries of origin" is where polititics and economics come in. but since politics and economics have been around a long time, there is a cultural ring to color as well. same for being jewish, being russian "jewish" has a different political/economic history than being just plain jewish. and the caste system that existed in early nyc between german, russian and polish jews--was not unlike the system that existed when i was in my 20's between african americans from southern usa versus the first influx of jamiaicans and haitians. the current discrimination against haitians (allowing them to drown, beat them up, etc.) curls my Californian straightened hair (the weather, not by choice!).|
so just so everyone has been watching public television. they have genetically traced humankind as they know its beginnings, starting in africa and branching out into several different directions. as to "color" or pigmnet --as the nomads went further and further north and had to cover up--they got whiter! the reason is the sunlight was needed to manufacture internal vitamin D. when it got colder and people had to cover up with layers of clothes, this biological manufacture was interrupted as sun could not enter the body. so, the people got whiter to let more of the sun's rays in. period. the genetic studies also found more in common between races in their genetic heritage than within a race. it just depended which migration route was taken and how fast. they were able to trace the migration via genetic markers/mutations. somewheres there's a book on this in the genetic library . i hope some day to find and buy the movie.
a lot of people think back to slavery. but the facts are that most of the ghetto-ization comes just after world war II when the first 30 year mortgages were put forth to assist post war veterans. except all black veterans were excluded from qualifiying. in fact many ethnic groups vied to be white to get the mortgages. state by state had different opinions. i am told russians (eastern europeans) and sicilians also had a hard time. in CA , a japanese man (also shown on pbs) tried desparately to prove he was white, since he was not black (notice use of color terminology) to get this mortgage. if my memory served me, he failed. up until then there were only five year mortgages.
so later as a bone, they threw in high rise housing in distinct areas to give to black veterans. in the sixties johnson signed the civil rights legislation, so the realtors decided to come in a screw that around. they went into white areas and told the people to look at all the problems in the ghettoes. they said if those problems come into your residiential neighborhood, your property values would go down. this was the peoples retirement investments and they panicked and sold their houses for a song to the realtors. they jacked the prices up and sold them to daring african american home seekers for way higher than the value. made a song. then the banks gave them a hard time. they took the savings from the african american people and invested them in the white areas for mortgages. then came anti-redlining where the banks put red markers around the areas that were 'black' on geographic maps.
my jewish mom joined the anti-redliners in the 70's along with her irish catholic neighbors from the newman club. this club also attempted to stop the powdered milk given to third world mothers who mixed the powder with dirty spring and creek water and killed their babies. any one remember boycotting nestles? at any rate, by the time the whole thing stopped it was too late. african americans wanting residential housing for the most part could only buy in african american neighborhoods. it's just beginning. it's like real slavery just ended in the sixties so the next generations have to have the balls to migrate and integrate the originaly white areas. with new housing it's happening faster as neighborhoods take over fields and orchards-- like in san jose. but cultural integration has to happen next, beyond the "rap' scene.
so the good news is that had this all not happened, people might not have innately been prejudiced. i distingusih beween racism and prejudice. racism is built into pillars and institutions of society, just like getting a mortgage, watching tv and not seeing equitable representation of role models. prejudice is a personal thing. so we are all racists as members of society and need to take active steps to tear this wall down--bigger than the wall in china.
"mixed" has a historic negative connotation. if someone asks if your child is mixed, say yes i put them in a blender. again, i know my kids origins from their birth mama in peru who has manged to trust me, because she really has no choice. her kids are american citizens. so if they ask you, they are asking a political/economic/cultural question.
on behalf of your children, who experience the ramifications and hear all this to think they are "less than' --make them feel they are more than. attempt to learn their countries of origin. bite your lip and educate that to have a light skinned child can also come from grandparents etc. i told my kids they were necessary to be emissaries amongst the different ethnic groups and bring them together. apparently that has been my mission as well. by the same token, it's nice to have people sustain their culture. i call it the 50-50 principle. both groups are necessary.
my friend, italian, married an irish woman. they figured his genes would dominate. they did not. they had a darker skinned blonde baby. this also happened to my first husband's brother. my friend's in-laws gave her a hard time. did she scr-w the milkman (a blonde milkman???) my ex's grandmother gave such grief that his brother left the family and never returned. i know in his case the grandmother expereinced some kind of "rape" from a spanish invader or something like that and has post trauma. no brain left. my italian friends parents wanted to preserve their culture. it goes on and on.
you have to keep a clear head and educate. make your kids proud. my african american friend whose grandkids are now all different ethnic variations said she had to have a "paradigm shift". she was in the mall and an african american (looking) child was lost. they couldn't see the mom. then this "white" lady came running, panic stricken ,and the child ran into her arms crying "mommy". my friend was first shocked and then she laughed. she thought of her grandkids and tears came to her eyes. sometimes she wonders as the world turns brown and not just spanish brown but all kinds of "mixes", if she would be left behind. a lot of jews felt this after they were obliterated. now many italian and irish dads go up to the jewish alter for their wives and on sunday the couple goes to church. life has a way of going on.
i have always been different or shall we say "left out". but i got a piece of a whole lot of cultures. so i became "more than" . go for it! if not for yourself for your kids. once you get past the paradigm shift, it's all ok. and you can still date your own "race", just make friends with each other and learn the cultural variations.
namaste ( i honor the divine in all of you). i picked up that word to communicate with my kids birth mom. despite their african american, british, spanish, indigenous ethnic roots--birth mama became a hindu and named them east indian names! go figure. all is intended from above. Higher Power has a hidden agenda, me thinks!
Posted: 12/19/2006 1:20:16 AM
|actually it takes 60,000 years for the colour to change we are all products of our environment.|
Posted: 12/19/2006 1:35:28 AM
|I would love to date a black woman again! but none seem to be online where i live|
Posted: 12/19/2006 1:51:03 AM
That was a great piece of history that you shared. You mentioned earlier about the migration of human kind out of Africa, the book that you are referring to i believe is called The real Eve by Steven Oppenheimer its a great read.
Posted: 12/19/2006 4:38:26 AM
Mixed..."in a blender"??? LOL
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:28:29 AM
|Wow it takes so long to post.I tried to post on this thread Three times and could not post. I guess their trying to give some people a chance to post.The only problem I have with asking if the child is mixed and this is the only reason I said what I said for an example:I was at a event,I had my babyboy with me. I saw a old friend of mine,We started talking.we talked for hours then later a guy she knew came up and right away was asking me if my son was mixed. I said yes.He said Is that B daddy white.I dont appreciate anybody calling my child names.I will not allow it.And of course I had to straighten him.I tried to do it in a nice way.Later he left and I was glad he did.Back in 2003 I went to a family dinner during christmas holidays,I had my son on my lap and was feeding him.The lady sitting to the table stared my son down and had nerve to say he must get his hair from his daddy.she said some other comments as well.I dont care if the child looks mixed or not,it is just some things you do not say to people.Also it is black people who look Biracial.I have a few cousins who look Biracial but are not.Both parents are Black.It does not bother me that my child is Biracial at all,I love my baby.What bothers me is the foolish comments that is what I do not like.Im not colorstruck and have no problem with skin color.we are all God children.|
Posted: 12/19/2006 2:28:34 PM
I left her with "No, ma'am. This here babe be mine an' the massa's"
Quadmom, my friends think I am good with snappy comebacks. You have me beat.
I've spoken with people who are moms of biracial children, some don't mind being asked and others do mind being asked about the child's racial background. But I think in many cases it could be how the question is asked that really irks some.
I've been asked all my life and still get asked "what are you?" While I know some people who are insulted by the question it just makes me smile then depending on my own mood I may come out with a sedate answer or something comical.
Posted: 12/19/2006 4:01:07 PM
|I am not sure that this comment belongs here on this thread, but the thread has taken off on a tangent of colors, at least just a bit.|
[Quadmom, I admire what you have to say, and you sound like a strong woman.]
Several years ago, I was involved in a theater group, that was mostly Black. Linnette was a very talented actress that was tall and lovely, and medium-dark complected.
April was a very light-skinned with good hair very talented dancer/actress, with green eyes.
Linnette accepted me, though I was Caucasian, and April and I got along famously.
I will never forget though, when Linnette had an outburst and said, and I quote: "Ms. High and Mighty High Yellow thinks she is better than everyone else!" That was not the case, but Linnette (rather dark) clearly resented April (very light); perhaps it was a personality conflict, but Linnette clearly resented April for the color of her skin. Both of them were extremely talented, April as a dancer and Linnette as an actress.
My point is that if racism runs within one's own race, how can we expect it not to run outside one's own race? Perhaps I should have started a new thread with this, but I think it applies, sort of...
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:42:33 PM
|Intraracism among Blacks is nothing new and not about to go anywhere really. It is definitely a legacy of slavery but the ones who I find to hold onto the old ways such as "one drop of black blood, makes one black" and lightskinned vs darkskinned drama are usually Blacks.|
I've found in the whole lightskinned vs darkskinned fiasco SOME people project their own insecurities about their skin tone by accusing others of thinking there better when that may not be the case. On the flip side you may have someone lightskinned who run into someone darkskinned being rude and assume the person is jealous because of them being lightskinned. In both cases you have some projection going and incorrect assumptions in the works.
Me? I am like whatever! I like my skintone but have seen some beautiful darkskinned black women and some are among my friends. I tell them not to apologize for their skin color because I am sure not going to apologize about mine.
The whole good hair vs bad hair is another touchy subject. Most people will ask what is good hair? What is bad hair?
As for Wesley Snipes he has issues because it is common knowledge he HATES black women of all tones and is responsible for Halle Berry's hearing loss.
There are perceptions, truths and realities but some tend to get them mixed up at times.
Posted: 12/19/2006 11:19:28 PM
|antone, i saw the eve pbs show as well. however, i think this was one that was related to the genome project. if i remember, the eve movie showed the beginnings and the spreading out coming from an archaological finding of i believe her skeleton (?). , but the one i am remembering had the genome research starting with the bushmen and then branching into a variety of directions-- interviewing each ethnic group in accordance with the genetic markers that they found. he was able to use each genetic mutation which was also an adaption to environmental changes to thread along his journey. i remember when he got to the navajos there was some similarity between their ancient beliefs and the group right beforehand. was this the eve one? i don't think so.|
at any rate to keep this whole discussion "on topic", the beauty of inter-any kind of dating whether it be racial or ethnic or religious is if you can keep an open mind and understand how each person or group filters information and communication, you get to learn a lot.
genuine sweety, as to the "relatives" and family gatherings of gossipy/mean spirited (and often inebriated!) negative people . they are everywheres. just think, to comment upon a child! the audacity! as to the roots of all this: the jewish people also have their historic differences, not exactly like the slavery roots of lighter versus darker, but similar in economic/status snobbery as the richer germans came way before hitler ever happened and then the polish and russian factory workers. it wasn't until all the jewish factory women died in unsafe fire conditions, that they women of all groups joined forces to get better working conditions. by the same token, the jews are afraid of extinction just the way a darker person or a light person fears the world is going to be brown! i guess part of it is preserving one's race, culture or religion and the other part is where will i ifit, if i'm not brown too! then put economic preference onto the pile and you have a bunch of crazy-a gossipy people. it all happens slowly, so people can adjust. but it's not easy to be part of the transformation.
my nearest relatives are all pretty much third generation and their kids are fourth. of the cousins, i'm the only one who married out of religion, etc. but the fourth generation is relatively integrated. everyone would want to preserve the religion (my parents didn't care, but were atypical), but i know the cousins (at least the ones i associate with and know) would support their kids if they "intermarried". although, if they had a choice between an african american jewish in law versus a white non jewish in law--truth be told, they'd go with whoever was jewish! so the african american will win that round. and there are african american jews in nyc!
now to the nitty gritty: if someone at a family meeting 'dared' say something about my kids, however, i'd probably (with words) rip their heads off! that's why i took the name serenity, to remind myself to keep calm!!! it is my inherent nature, but sometimes the meanness of the world just grabs at me and i either cry my eyes out or fight like the devil! the use of words does help though. wish i could talk the way i can write! note: there is a big difference between answering a sincere question about ethnic origins versus being put down by someone with mean spirited intent.
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:21:49 AM
|I recall it being eighty degrees outside and full of humidity and seeing a young black girl in a long sleeved turtleneck, desperately trying to avoid becoming any darker.|
I have read and researched that in general, Black men will date women lighter than themselves.
I have seen where Black men will date ugly White women, purely because they are White, just to have a woman with, as they call it, a woman with pink toes. Is this supposed to be a status symbol?!!!
Not so long ago, while I was nursing a back injury, I went to the post office with a bunch of stuff I had sold on ebay. A Black woman of about 55 saw me struggling, and she shut my trunk and held the door for me. Why can't we be decent to people all of the time like that? I also do random acts of kindness. Can't we all just get along?!
Live and Let Live?
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:45:34 AM
I recall it being eighty degrees outside and full of humidity and seeing a young black girl in a long sleeved turtleneck, desperately trying to avoid becoming any darker.
Nocturnal, did the young lady tell you that is why she was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck? The reason why I asked is because I am a summer child and love to feel the sun on my skin but due to a medical condition and treatments my skin can't always take direct sun any longer. I've burnt my skin in Hawaii and Cancun so many times I'd be dark for months without ever staying out in the sun intentionally to maintain the tan I'd acquire from the burns.
Posted: 12/20/2006 6:42:06 AM
|I am a white woman, with a black husband. My best friend is black and have a white husband. |
I personally have a preference for black men, but it's not because they are any different in bed or anything. But just the colour of his skin turns me on.
Just thinking of touching his dark skin, turns me on.
But I think it is to each their own.
Posted: 12/20/2006 8:15:16 AM
She somewhat ashamedly said she did not want the sun to darken her skin. She was light skinned.
I was sad for her.
Then again, and this has nothing to to with anything here, a couple of weeks ago, there was a young White girl in the ER, who had swallowed a straw by accident. She was using it to try to make herself throw up. Why is it so difficult for so many of us Women to find self-acceptance?
Posted: 12/20/2006 9:41:29 AM
|Quadmom--- you are contradicting your self when you say blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. The so called snappy remark you said probably came from a movie you saw or a book you read. You sound so superficial. Wesley snipes won't give a black women the time of the day.|
Posted: 12/20/2006 8:04:18 PM
|All this talk about biracial babies being beautiful....all I can say is, WE SURE ARE! lol|
Posted: 12/20/2006 8:47:17 PM
|Good question; I think it is conditioning by the media and society in general. Its probably the same reason why it is far more common to see an asian woman with a white man than an asian guy with a white lady. |
BTW, why are YOU interested in crossing the racial barrier?? Not that there is anything wrong with it; I just think you are swimming against the current, so to speak.
Posted: 12/20/2006 11:43:41 PM
|I've dated black women and it's not uncommon where I am from for white men and black women to be together..|
Women and men regardless of race have the same attractions or turnoffs.
Like anything else, just have to have the right..er..'spark'??..yea..that's it..spark.
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:02:33 AM
|In general ....|
When it comes to the topic of race ....many people are out right bare faced liars atleast half of the time ......but no wonder....after years of being influenced by watching tv and hollywood movies...people say what sounds "good/noble" and this is such a loaded subject.
Political correctness is definately a powerful social pressure.
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:27:15 AM
|cedar77, you are sooooo right. I once dated a white man who swore up and down that he had no problem at all with my ethnicity. It turned out to be a BIG problem for him, along with other aspects of my appearance. He was embarassed to be seen with me in public, and would never introduce me to anyone, even if we ran into someone he knew on the few times we were out together. He just let me stand there like a lump while the people he talked to looked at me like, "can I help you?" I dated another white man right after him who had zero problem with my ethnicity, even when his friends looked at me in absolute horror when they first met me. Some people are just curious, some are in denial, some are just looking to screw anything that will hold still long enough. You just never know. *shrugs*|
Posted: 12/21/2006 1:33:03 AM
That's an awful way to be treated ...must have hurt you....why would he pretend it didn't matter?
He didn't even respect you enough to be honest , he was totally wrong and you were the one who was hurt.
You need to find someone who appreciates you as you are.
I believe in honesty always ....even if it is "racist"
just as an example:
Let's say black women on average (not alway's) do not find white men attractive ...
Ok... since obviously I'm a white man ......am I going to tell black women they are "racist" and they must find white men attractive? ...am I going to stomp my feet and call them names?
Maybe I would petition the government to legislate that they must find me attractive?
It's insane ....why not be honest and deal with it or accept it for a fact ...what's the problem?.. they should go for who they like ...it's called freedom...people can handle the truth ...even if it is "racist"
It's the dishonesty and forcing attitudes (political correctness) on people that makes trouble... no one needs to be handled with kid gloves like children because or their race ...nothing you say should be taboo .....that's patronizing and undermining .
I think there should be a national day of saying what you really think about race and let some steam off.... it would do everyone some good.
Posted: 12/21/2006 2:05:39 AM
|Well you know most men are intimidated by ANY woman. She doesn't have to be black, any color will do. But that junk about blacks being loud and obnoxious is incorrectly pointed.|
You see, I just came from a recording studio full of blacks, puerto ricans, and me. Noone was obnoxious, that stereotype comes from fear and lack of REAL interaction with said people.
In fact, I like it when women are outgoing, takes a lot of work off my shoulders. Plus no games!
Stay Funky Y'all.
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