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 sweetbutsassytwo
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 226
interracial couplesPage 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I was married to a very handsome Indian man from Hyderbad, India. My children are a gorgeous mix of dark and light. I did not find I had trouble adapting to the culture since he was Catholic and I was also. I accepted other customs and learned a little about mine since I was born Canadian I always felt I had no culture. I worry about my children being accepted here, but realize that we all carry some racisim or discriminate on one type or another....you can be racist from any background. I came from Toronto and found people were exposed to different cultures more often so maybe more tolerant so long as things were going their way. I am trying to make a difference in my own life and in my work in any way I can. You can call me on any racist thing I may say....and I will thank you for bringing it to my attention. Racisim is bread in us all and requires a life of work to unravel and fend it off.
I pray for a brighter, better world for my children.
 middygayle
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 227
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interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 8:33:54 PM
Hello, allow me to join in. I have recently divorced a white man. I have many black friends as well as white. My boyfriend now is black. We were friends for two years. I am with him only because of how I feel when we are together and how good he is to my kids. It has NOTHING to do with his color or his penis size. If he had none at all, we would still be together. Because he has touched me deeper than any man's penis ever could. As for all this white girl black girl stuff... ladies we are better than this. The female herself is a beautiful creature. Who cares who is shown more. We should unite and teach our daughters that those girls aren't on the cover for the color of their skin, but because they worked hard for what they wanted in order to get there. Period.
 quadmom
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 228
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interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 8:37:23 PM
Genuine Sweetie....hang on a sec.

I would agree that even as late as up to a decade ago, black beauty wasn't accepted as widely as it is today. BUT times have changed. A lot of it boils down to curiosity. Some is just a shift in society......America considers ALL types of women beautiful. Now I'm not saying that everyone IN America does...but I do believe that women of color are being more widely appreciated.

Dymond, what are you smoking? LOL..folks can do whatever they like to their skin and hair. Tan til you sizzle white girls, braid your hair and add some extensions too if thats what you feel like doing...sista's if you think your eyes look pretty with contacts, wear 'em. Its ridiculous to think that someone is trying to be anything other than what they are because of fashion or popular trends. Someone might say that a lady bodybuilder is trying to be a man.........I ain't sayin' it. But its all perception and no one has the right to jump in and make those types of sweeping generalizations.

Heck, btw most of us sista's are looking at white guys more as well. I, personally haven't even dated a black man since my college years...but before you throw stones, I've been married for most of that time since. To a white man that exclusively dated black women because he found us more attractive. Now I got a lap full of pretty little mixed babies and ain't I blessed!
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 229
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interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:10:33 PM
maplesyrupguy, thank you for setting "some" of the canadians straight. i am tired of hearing from an all white group of people as to how "tolerant" they are and how americans are not tolerant. it boils down to where you live and the exposure and experience you have had and are now entering into as the world is beginning to (e) merge. there are intoleratant canadians and americans and vice versa. also brits, if you are still following this thread.

lil genuine sweetie, i have the same media problem you express in raising my girls. i have every ethnic magazine lying around the house so that they get exposed as they are african, peruvian (indigenous and spanish) and a tiny bit british-- here with their russian jewish mom! but, my worse problem is with my son who thinks all african american men are rappers. i have " black enterprise" all over my house and by the way, white people, this is one of the best business magazines you can invest in--especially if you are entrepreneruially bent. but kids can be stubborn. the media offers even less for young african american men. there was this jewish rabbi around for awhile "rapping". i told my son if he didn't get those tatoos off, i'd be plastering the rabbi's tatoo on my forehead and showing it to all his friends! maybe i'd even put two on my chest! my kids all have a sense of humor. for now though, we put makeup all over him to cover when he visits. there are gangs nearby who are not wannabee but real. although not probable, it is possible that we could get shot. he does however, coverup, when with us. but what if he doesn't when he's by himself? this could have been avoided if other cultural icons were more pervasive for him and if i had him earlier, i could have given him a more solid foundation.

when kids are young, they are impressionable and can be in a lot of pain. it is better than "long ago" and in ancient times as my kids have referenced with respect to my younger years (my youngest recently asked me about ancient times when marilyn monroe was alive and i told her she road a dinosaur. )

so, you must remember that most magazines are about selling a whole lot of junk. often they "segment" the markets and try to reach a "sub-population" in a way to appeal and sell to the masses in a highly targeted manner. they have clearly begun to integrate some of the product lines, such as makeup, but the actual amount on the retail counter will depend on the composition of the neighborhood. as time goes by and as people are slowly getting browner--whites darker and blacks lighter ( i ususally don't reference color but countries for my kids, but since we are talking about makeup)--the magazines will be reflecting this blending of ethnicity even more--or how else will they sell all their junk? the greater the population segment , the greater the change in the models.

in the meanwhile, those of us with interethnic/racial kids must take the responsibilityi for the mix of their dolls, their action figures, the exposure to tv and movies, the magazines, our friends, etc. for someone in an area that is not racially mixed, please go out of your way to expose your kids outside the area--the teen years are the worst. suddenly the kids they played with may not be "allowed" to date them if you are in a conservative area or an area which is limited to one ethnicity or color. this can be devastating. i know because it happened to me as a jewish kid in an irish catholic neighborhood.

so far, i've engineered their exposure to prevent this, but i fear my daughter will experience this in college as she branches out into areas where unexposed children may also attend. we've discussed it openly. we've also discussed racial profiling and whenever i am not sure what advice to give, i call an african american mom friend. they in turn call me for their kids or moreso grandkids.

i specifically chose my area to raise my kids so they would feel part of it all. just recently we moved to a whiter area than before, but very liberal and there's no problem with dating within or across ethnic lines, although there is an intellectual/educational snobbery. but that's worked well for my youngest as she's studying more and is targeting the university level. before she day dreamed more. in fact, she's socializing more now as well.

i am hoping when my son comes to his senses, however, to send him to an all black college. still not sure though if he will fit since his african american birth father did not raise him culturally in that manner. plus, i have to get those crips tatoos off before a gang from his latino half shoots us! he is experimenting. so far charming enough to get by, but being in foster care through teens and now figuring out his fit, is difficult. maybe if i had given birth to my kids it would have been easier.

as to dating, i've never had a problem dating any ethnicity or color of a person, as long as they weren't bigots and believe me each group can have a traditional stubbornness. just as with the jewish parents who feared losing their "numbers" if their child intermarried (my parents were the exception). many of my african american friends share in that fear--until of course their bi-racial grandkids come along. still, outside the family, the kids need to feel that they belong. even if you have to create a temporary illusion to get them through the hormonal stage and build their self love.

as to the ku klux klan, when they are out and parading at least i know where they are. what scares me is their inflitraiton into major corporations, etc. their grand whatever you call him had a harvard degree, i am told. that being said, i can sort of try to understand the woman on this post who says she has a friend. when i lived in pennsylvania after graduate school, when marilyn monroe was riding her dinosaur (!), my roomate had this little old man who ran the grocery store come to "MY"house. he was a nazi and over coffee explained to me that they never touched the jews! he was totally irrational and no sense arguing, and not by himself of any threat, but i did strongly advise my roomate to keep him the H-ll out of my house! also my dad's collegue had been in HItler's army. he was forced to do so or so he said. my dad believed and forgave him, but we were russian descent. would he have been so forgiving if he killed his russian family. I don't know. I guess if someone is truly repentant or perhaps gained an education in the course of his/her life and hadn't killled anyone, i might be able to forgive and be grateful they had changed. i am seeing many bigotted areas slowly emerge and transition as they are "exposed" beyond their narrow scope of experience. the ones at the "top" and not the uneducated followers, of all the clans, nazi's, gangs, etc. are reaping the monetary benefits at the expense of their own masses. some are even deliberately recruiting from the special education classes to build their armies.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 230
interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:36:21 PM
I seriously think it is because white men are intimidated by black women. For any of a couple reasons, one white guys think a black chick will want a black man. As well black women as a stereotype have more attitude and know what they want and arn't afraid to say it. But what do I know? Regardless of right or wrong I'm pretty sure this is why.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 231
interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:38:29 PM
although.....where I'm from the white dudes love their black women
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 232
interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:46:56 PM
people need to take it easy on sweety, I understand where she's coming from.

I'm not black but I guess I'm a visible minority born and raised in Toronto. Growing up I had blond barbies all of them! All the cartoons I watched only had white kids in them, well mostly anyway I always felt I wasn't as pretty as my blond friends probably because society and the media made me feel this way.

Although I think this has drastically changed since I was a kid in the last 15 years or so, especially now with my sisters watching Dora, learning spanish, Bratz have multicoloured children magic school bus, and so on.
 denise101
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 233
interracial couples
Posted: 12/11/2006 11:04:46 PM
Hon

I don't know why you would want a white man vs a black man.Men are all the same,its only a color.You asked the question,why don't white men want to date a black woman.Well I think the answer is because the are insensetive.And that is what and who you would rather date, a white man who doesn't want to be seen with you.Think about it.Stick with a good guy and forget about color he is.Think about what color runs through his veins
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 234
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 12:24:51 AM
This is an interesting thread.

One of my friends is an Irish White Male that is decidedly attracted to darker women, though he is married to a Caucasian woman. He worships Nubian Beauties and Asians. He would take Beyonce over Brittney Spears in a second. He loves the Asian Beauties at the sushi restaurant.

But to add another thorn into this discussion...
When I think about the beauties that are the "most successful"...Tyra Banks, Halle Berry, Beyonce, etal...they are light complected and have rather "white features" if you think about it. Is there still strong discrimination against Black women that exhibit more Black features?

Would a White man be equally likely to date a Black woman that was dark skinned? Even if he loved her personality, would he feel comfortable taking her home to mother? Would she feel comfortable taking him home?

Personally, I think racism sucks. This is just some food for discussion.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 235
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 12:29:38 AM
Because I have dated interracially, I have also encountered some hostility from both White men and Black women.

The White men seem to think that you are selling out, or else they are intimidated by the Myth, and Black women have accused me of "stealing their men!"
 VivaLaPinto
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 236
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:43:44 AM
"my worse problem is with my son who thinks all african american men are rappers."

haha. oh man, I almost made it seem as if me and your son had the same problem...I was going to reply to Lil Genuine Sweetie, and say that the music industry has plenty of black beauty all over the place...I mean, honestly who wants to look at super skinny super models, who set this impossible standard of "beauty" (mm, ribs, that's hot), and then compare yourself to it? No win situation. Screw the media and advertising, you should be looking for black female artists who have really made a path for themselves in this world. That's the black female presence you should be looking for in Teen Vogue and all those other mags.

but then again...I'm an ignorant Canadian, eh? and yes I come from a predominantly white town. but that's ok, because black or white, I'll still make you love me! ;D
 quadmom
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 237
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Posted: 12/12/2006 5:33:49 AM
Nocturnal...I might have agreed with ya wholeheartedly about 10 yrs ago. Now, however, I think all forms of our beauty are being recognized.

Think Gabrielle Union. Angela Bassett, Nia Long, Latifah, Sanaa Lanthan, even Oprah for crying out loud!

And speaking for myself, I don't look white AT ALL. I have dark skin, and definite black features. But I don't have a problem drawing attention when I want to. I mean, times have changed and I think most of America is down with having a little coffee with their cream.

 Zain.
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 238
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 5:08:39 PM
My uncle said the most ignorant thing to my aunt one time he's like "what'syour daughter doing dating the big black guy" don't you know they're all drug dealers?"

ummm ever heard of the hashish trade in Pakistan? no black people there
or what about all those drug cartels in Columbia and Mexico? don't see any blacks there
 allispossible
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 239
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 5:24:45 PM
I'm about as white as a whiteman can get! (Sweedish and Irish) and I would have no problem dating and having a relationship with a black lady. To what extent the stigma exists, i dont know, and wish it didnt exist at all. I don' t think it's really as much of a barrier as you would suppose. So i'm sorry if this doesnt help you. But if I met a lady who happened to be black and we connected on the right levels I wouldnt hesitate to enter into a relationship.

Shawn
 lucilou
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 240
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Posted: 12/12/2006 5:49:17 PM
I have never dated black man, but its not because I dont like them, its because black men hardly like asian women. I have a firiend who married a black man and their children are good looking kids. If I find a good looking black man sure I would like to know them and their culture, it will take a lot of time to know one another but hey, trying is better than not trying at all.
 Josefine
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 241
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 5:50:44 PM
Well, red, I think when it comes to size, it could only have to do with the sample populations that the stats were coming from. Perhaps, just the theory of "it" (ie. largeness) is enough to make the white girls have this illusion. But, the biggest one I have ever seen was on a white guy...as I made the sign of the cross and backed out of the room-Holy Molie! Ai Carumba. My own point of view is that it may have more to do with the senses of sight, scent, touch...all of it-and of course the Fantasy/Political aspect. As for the cleanliness issues, it is in my experience that Black men have some of the best hygiene around-always smelling good, and black women that I have met usually have elaborate beauty regimens to the point where some of them, I just dont know where they find the time-the hair, the nails, the fashion-amazing, and very impressive. I had my hair in braids once-do you know how much work that takes in upkeep?!...especially compared to a slight curl at the end with a curling iron...and,perhaps you are talking about the scent of different culture's skintypes...I mean like Italian, Arabic, African American-it could just have to do with oils and diet...once again a matter of preference. So, what I am detecting is your point of view-which is good...and I can respect it, but then again, I respect my own and those of others as well. I personally have loved one and the other in my dating experiences...but it is really hard to dismiss the political issues that do exist-sad, but true, they do exist-ah well-Live and Love-
 simpleman12
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 242
interracial couples
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:45:54 PM
blackdymond, are you on ROIDS!
no woman gets that big naturally. omg, your arms are bigger then most guys.
 blackdymond
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 243
interracial couples
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:20:28 AM
LOL,
No Im not atually that is not a photo of me,that photo is a joke, that is not me.LOL.
 ~LoriMac~
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 244
interracial couples
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:38:16 AM
I have to say I have mostly dated white guys and have found its not that big of a deal where I live. I do find I have to show I am not the standard crazy/ghetto black girl they see in the movies but I think every group has thier stereotypes to overcome when meeting someone new.

Frankly I dont have a type when it comes to skin tone...seems to me that is the last thing I look for...I am just attracted to certain types of men.
 quadmom
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 245
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Posted: 12/13/2006 8:26:11 PM
lorimac, I'm glad that I'm not the only one thats getting "You're so well spoken" in the first conversation.

Please..fellas. Not all of us are characters from B.A.P.S.
 studplayrico
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 246
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Posted: 12/13/2006 8:41:06 PM
I'll marry purple or green woman if i love her.
 luvsouth135
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 247
interracial couples
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:58:29 PM
Msg. 13

I am so glad that someone took the time to set this person straight, thank you!


K
 quadmom
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 248
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Posted: 12/14/2006 12:05:41 PM
She says the pic isn't hers, but then indicates in the first line of her profile that men without pics aren't welcome??? Uh huh. The photo is a joke? So funny that there are two of them...

That doesn't make any sense.

I say be proud of yourself. Wear what you want, buy what you want, date who you want and be who you want. No skin off my nose either way.
 BeanCounterGuy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 249
interracial couples
Posted: 12/14/2006 12:58:16 PM
You have to figure Captain Kirk of Star Trek fame is the least racist of all of us. That guy hooked up with women of all different colours; red, green, purple etc. Completely non-judgemental in my mind....
 Copperypeach
Joined: 5/26/2003
Msg: 250
interracial couples
Posted: 12/16/2006 6:08:09 AM
To msg 247,

I'm so glad someone else has pinged in on the examples people tend to use when speaking of Black Beauties. Even kids comercials have bi-racial children as the best attempt to show diversity playing together. It'd be difficult to find a commercial with straight black-you don't have to wonder what they're ethnicity is-black child model with broad features, kinkier textured hair and darker skin. So is the more ethnic range of our attractive really portrayed? I would agree with you and Sweetness that it's not. BUT, I have noticed, though, that when I do see IR couples BW/WM the girl is more ethnic in color and features. She is, however, more slight in figure and sharing a more non-ethnic figure than is more common (maybe even stereotypical) of Black women who tend to be thicker built in "some areas". Another lighter skinned woman noted that in another thread as well. I don't know what to think about the conflicting observations.
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