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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???      Home login  
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 A_REAL_Sweetheart
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 69
What does a WOMAN mean by taking things slow?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
What does a woman mean by taking things slow?

^sparticuss, It can mean, "I've been so freak'n burned by jerk-offs (as a previous poster mentioned), that I'm waiting to see if you're an honorable man, with morals and integrity, who will be faithful, before going any farther than friendship or dating." It can also mean, "I'm waiting until I feel safe with you before making a commitment." I think, generally, it indicates some reservation(s) (fear, caution) about the person, one's own self or relationships in general. It may just be a matter of needing to build trust. I guess, just as with guys, it can mean different things to different women. However, I do believe that women, in general, are usually more honest when saying this, as opposed to using it as a stringing along strategy, waiting to see if someone supposedly "better" comes along. (JMHO: I cannot speak for the entire female population, though.)

Also, not everyone rushes to divorce, when things start going sour. Usually, it's more like a slow, lingering death, from what I have observed and experienced. Some people live miserably for years, trying everything fanthomable, within their power, to make their relationship work. It is a sad testament about society that some people rush to divorce what might very well be a salvageable marriage and could, in fact, be stronger than it once was before.

... And, maybe I'm out of the loop, old-fashioned or whatever, but isn't is usually men who rush the sex? (Hello? Venus to Mars speaking)

... As far as women rushing marriage -- another myth. I've known men who have done so, even to the point of trying to "trap" the woman! Ha! The stories I could write about THAT!

 Simply*Enchanted
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 70
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 2:09:34 AM
TRANSLATION: "I WOULDN'T MIND SEX ANYTIME YOU'LL GIVE IT UP, BUT THAT'S ALL IM LOOKING FOR FROM YOU"
 Artistee
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 71
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 4:58:43 AM
I would think "taking things slow" means a relationship that slowly develops that works from both parties getting to know each other (and ha ha - yeah right) not necessarily with sex, over a longer period of time...Instead of ripping each other's clothes off, the "Oooh and Ahhh" session(s)...and moving in together and "playing house" after a month...

Some can't wait that long...so there's no "slow"...
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 72
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 5:37:00 AM
While it may hold subtle differences for different people it means they just are not into you.

There is no justifiable reason to take it slow when "getting to know" someone. The whole idea is to know the person and that can only be accomplished by spending time together. If someone does not want to spend time with you then they do not want to get to know you or they already do and don't particularly like you.

We hear people say they want to wait until they know the person and at the same time they don't want to spend a lot of time with the person. The only logical explanation is they don't really care about the person. It's the same thing as if they said, "I don't want to commit to anything until I know you and I don't want to get to know you."

It is one thing for someone to say they want to go slow before they have sex or before they live together because they want to know the person. That makes sense. Saying they want to go slow getting to know the person makes absolutely no sense at all except them just not being interested.
 blueiss2
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 73
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 5:40:33 AM
To me taking it slow , means The slower the better , and last so much longer, and it it only gets and feels so much better. Lisa
 heyitsdoug
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 74
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:38:32 AM
I've got to think that if men are telling you women
that they want to take things slowly AFTER you have
sex with them......that maybe you're having sex with
them a little to early on in the relationship. If you're
sleeping together before you get to know them, you
didn't take things slowly! If you just want sex, and jump
right into it that's your choice......but you shouldn't be
too surprised when the "relationship" doesn't work out.
I tend to make it clear that I want to take things slowly
right from the start.
 Funme40
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 75
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:41:47 AM
Most women mix up lust, love and sex. Most will uses sex in order to try to win a man’s heart. It just doesn’t work that way!
 p19630416
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 78
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/14/2006 5:41:33 AM
Taking things slow can mean a lot of things to a man, all depending in what was on his mind when he wrote that, or what he has been throw, or what are his intentions, etc.
All the answer in here that I have read are all good… can be because of a past bad experience, to making sure that what ever he is doing is the right choice decision, from dumping, to sex, and the list goes on.
 Amielle
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 79
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:42:39 PM
To Canali-what other topics do you suggest we discuss??
 Titian
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 80
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:52:01 PM
I think that it means that he wants sex from you and never wants to have a real relationship..with you....as in shacking up ..blah blah...family stuff......If he takes it slow he can get all the sex he wants without a commitment to you...Duh !
 Rae Rae
Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 81
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:55:56 PM
It means don't ask me to give you financial disclosure, don't start naming our kids, or ask me to start saving for that big house, and please don't ask me every two seconds what I am thinking, or where I am going and when I'll be back.
 METALLlC BLUE
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 82
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 2:44:35 AM
Ask the person, only their interpretation is the correct answer.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 83
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 3:22:01 AM

taking it slow
Translated means.....

I have several fishing lines dangling in this pond, I have caught YOU already, but should a better fishie come along, I shall have to throw you back. For now however, you are suitable for my needs.
 mortalexplorer
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 84
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 4:42:51 AM
1) I don't mean this in a rude way but: Stop steriotyping to "men" or "women"....it will make you understand things more effectively.
2) "Taking it slow" is different for everybody. Some use it as a facade and an attempt to get other people in the sack. Others are serious about it and emotionally/psychologically can't go into something that fast (This can be due to past experience, fear, not being in a relationship for a while....).
3) So if you don't understand the person enough to distinguish between f*****g and unreadiness, chances are you are going into it WAY too early and need to aquaint with eachother a little more.
 caliguy9999
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 85
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 5:57:57 AM
If I tell a girl we should take it slow, it most definitely means no sex yet. It means lets just date, get to know each other, not rush anything.

This is the first time I've heard 'take it slow' could mean sex with no committment.
 jenny~dee
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 86
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 7:25:09 AM
AHHH yes the " taking it slow phase". a bit of a pain in the ass for the girls to figure out, but i think ive got it. Relax and it is ok, if this guy wants to take it slow it could just mean that he needs to analyse what he is feeling. yet again men are not perfect and scare easily when it comes to love or letting someone in their heart. Give him the space he needs and DO TAKE ADVANTAGE of the time apart, go out and do something, get with the girls, have fun and smile. If you really care about him, you will give him space and if he really wants to be with you and feels the same way you should have NO worries- breathe:)
 Just_2_b_me
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 87
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/15/2006 9:04:11 AM
Man I'm with Doug, lots of cynical people in the world. I know because I certainly am .... however ......

I suppose it could mean most of the things that were mentioned in this thread, but not all and certainly not always.

In my case the lady that I am lucky enough to be dating is a coworker, we have known each other for 7 years, for the first four years I was still married and she was in a LTR of her own.
While we have always been friendly towards each other there was never anything between us. Last spring we started riding bikes together at a local Nature Preserve as a way to encourage each other to stick with stopping smoking and losing a couple of pounds and getting in better shape then we were. This would be the start of us becoming more then just co-workers, we became friends. Seems I see a lot of profiles with “friends first” as being a requirement, and we felt the same way, especially being co-workers.

So we took things slowly, we went bike riding, went to the movies, to the lake, out to dinner & all the time we talked, & talked, & talked some more, & slowly we became friends, and once we were sure there was more then just a desire to jump each other (because there was certainly a desire) we slowly moved past being just friends. And while there are no guarantees in the world I think we did the right thing and together we have both gone from being cynical & jaded to being optimistic and happy together.
 GREENEYES269
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 88
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:15:15 PM
Thats not all ways true it might be that he takes it slow so he does'nt get rail roaded again. its better to take it slow and get longterm for real than to rush in and be burned short term.Best things are worth takeing slow.
 johnglc
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 89
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:58:54 PM
It means he doesn't want to RUSH things.....
 Skeena Rivers
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 90
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/21/2006 8:34:25 PM
~ Be there please...just not too far...however not too close. ~
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 91
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/21/2006 10:15:27 PM
It means you are nothing but a booty call.
 Colonel Hapablat
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 92
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/21/2006 10:27:30 PM
Skeena's got it right!! It pretty much we will hang out and hump whenever I am wanting to. Not you!
 METALLlC BLUE
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 93
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/22/2006 2:15:46 AM
For me it means:

Let's let the bond develop in time in order to get stronger which allows us to really stay together thru the ups and downs of life, rather than forcing it by doing things like:

Having sex on the first date, or meeting your family after a week, or spending every single night and day together, making commitments I'm not ready to make, moving into my house, moving from another country, etc.

Let's take it "slow". If we don't, there won't be any connection keeping us together when times get tough.
 Skeena Rivers
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 94
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:07:05 AM
~ ....yeah Colonel it's NOT me....ha ha. ~
 cuteazabutton
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 95
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:08:42 AM

When a man says "he wants to take things slow" MEANS(I'll just make her think that SEX isn't my Priority) But really it is....How stupid do you think we are Guys?


Very well said, the problem although that i have with the phrase "taking things slow" is that if youre going to butter up the woman with all these compliments, like telling her she's fabulous, sexy, smart, use the phrase "where have u been all my life?" etc. then maybe u men should expect that the woman will think there is something more going on in your head (and not the lower one that is) that possibly youre looking at wanting something more.

Im not getting any younger and the years are flying by and to hear that phrase "wanting to take it slow" from someone who is around the same age really surprises me. We dont have forever to be on this earth and if the two people are compatible in every way even after a few dates or talks then why not go for it? Stop being cowards and take that chance because you could be letting go of the perfect woman for yourself and not even know it.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???