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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???      Home login  
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 right one
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 101
What does a man mean by taking things slow???Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
actually i would like him to call...he has been hurt in the past - he is a great guy!!
i think he is scared because he is so comfortable with me.
hope i am right that he will call....saturday is 1 week. other than my reply to the text message, i haven't contacted him at all.
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 102
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:43:06 PM
Yeah, he'll need some time to figure things out on his own. In the meantime, you may wanna think about how distraught he really is, while keeping your own heart in tact. Let him take the lead and decide if it's something you are willing to deal with.
 right one
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 103
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:57:04 PM
Thanks
well, i am patient and have nothing to lose if i wait. I am not upset by this whole thing, I am sure he will return - when is the only question. he is worth the wait, but until he believes that there is noting i can do.....
 johnglc
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 104
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/23/2006 9:54:46 PM
It could mean that he's not sure whether he likes you or not and needs time...........
 tallest169
Joined: 7/4/2004
Msg: 105
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/23/2006 11:15:32 PM
Perhaps he wants you to "take things" such as his independance, self esteem, bank balance and favourite pet slowly, as opposed to quickly and all at once.
 eyesbluebrunet
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 106
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/24/2006 1:42:29 AM
I totally agree with rick0415. I just got out of something very similar to the "going to fast" issue and not getting to know each other well enough. After 1 meeting and 2 dates this guys was pushing serious right away. I hardly knew him yet. I like to "DATE" and take my time a little to get to know a person before meeting family or saying he's my boyfriend. I think mature men understand that and until I meet the right one for me, I'm still fishin............
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 107
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:37:22 AM

It means he's screwing with your head, and wants you to be addicted to him.

ahhh ... such a 'willpower' I would gladly put under my 'microscope' ... just to see who loses the grip of the rope first.

Seriously, "stopwatch" for timing? If you don't choose , watch this space ... and smile.
 MEGA_CHULO2007
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 108
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/24/2006 7:22:48 AM
When I've told women that, I meant that I didn't want sex right away. I have always experienced when getting sexually involved with women, they tend to catch feeling very early on. Unless it's someone that I'm REALLY feeling, then I wouldn't mind doing it on the first or second date.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 109
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:45:46 AM
It means to forget about any consistancy there was during the first three months of the relationship because things are going to be different now. Haha. I personally believe if you take it slow and easy to begin with, it will last a lot longer. But if it happens the other way then it will change.


that I agree with Sadie. I usually start off saying I want to take it slow, because I'm *not* looking for sex in the first 3 dates (although, yes, I wouldn't be dating her if there wasn't that attraction, and I do expect that at some point if it actually develops into a relationship, sex will be involved - its a *part* of a good relationship, but its not *the* relationship), I'm looking to get to know the person, and the rest will follow if & when the relationship gets to that point. Different for everyone, its not a damn "timeline" (ie, "sex in the first 3 dates or its over"... nah, how about "sex when you're both ready/comfortable, be it 2 dates or 20"?).

But, on the flip side, someone who suddenly changes that in mid-relationship, thats a bad sign. Thats someone who wants to back off the relationship, for whatever reason (fear, insecurity, wanting to cheat,... who knows...).

About the only time I'm gonna say "slow down" in an established relationship is if she suddenly pops up with marriage/living-together, and impatiently/demandingly wants it "now"... and not that I'm against either idea, but "ok, slow down, lets talk", and hey, maybe I will do it now, but it won't be me "giving in" (or "backing off"), it'll be us talking, both of us knowing how we feel about it, and what "we" want. But that just boils down to my belief that a good relationship has honesty and compromise, and those usually don't happen w/o communication. If any of those seem to dissappear in the relationship, if compromise gives way to demands, or communication stops, its not going to be "slow down", its going to be "this isn't working, its over".

Life is too damn short to be playing guessing games. If you can't talk to each other and have open & honest communication, if you're making assumptions of "this is what I 'think' he means when he says that", not matter which way that falls, you're setting yourself up to continually fail. If you are guessing how they feel, *ask them*, and "I don't know" isn't really an answer (and you can usually get past someone who "doesn't know" with some patience and real desire to want to help them understand their own feelings).
 tradeblazer
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 110
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:21:55 AM
Slow is good..but geoligically slow is no good..
 itsmeinco
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 111
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:50:17 AM
It means don't start nagging him to move in and/or get married for at least the first year.
 grungelives
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 112
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:34:42 AM
Like others said is like friends with benefits, not that theres anything wrong with that so long as both parties agree to it knowingly and one not being mislead by the other.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 113
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:57:05 AM
It means don't start nagging him to move in and/or get married for at least the first year.


nagging = bad. open honest talk/communication = good.

Unfortunately, I think sometimes women think nagging=communication. While I agree, it is to a point, it only becomes communication when you are willing to listen to the other's feelings/views on it. When it becomes "this is what I want, and I don't care how you feel" then it stops, in my mind, even being a valid *relationship*. It becomes too one sided. It begins to violate *ourselves*, and what kind of relationship do you have if you don't have yourself? In any relationship, you have to respect your own feelings/views, and the feelings/views of your partner. If you don't have that respect, you have nothing.
 TampaGentleman
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 114
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:22:14 AM
Well it can mean different things;
1. Past experiences make him hesitant.
2. He may want to play the field.
3. Simple wisdom that says getting to know one takes some level of time and effort. The better one gets to know the other, the better the relationship in the end. Now how long that is will very on each individual. The question is, how much time are they investing in you? If they are spending their time exclusively, and spending a considerable amount of time with you, chances are they are serious, if not, then 1 or 2 above in in affect.
 sanmale
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 115
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:57:51 AM
I am not into u as u are into me but hang around until I find something better and if I dont then I will go for you if I decide to...we can mess around though in the meantime..thats what it means..
 skychef
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 116
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 12/18/2006 7:28:00 AM
I think it means different things to different people and of course, it's said for different reasons as well. Try not to get caught up in symantics and worrying about deciphering "what they really mean". Just take things one step at a time and which I think is the best way. And since most people always try to put their best foot forward in a new relationship and try to do everything perfectly and right, then the real person may not show up for about 3-6 months after the relationship starts. So if a true, solid and life-sustaining relationship is what you seek, then taking things slow and respecting each other's lifestyle will be key. And if the two personalities are meant to gel and bond, then it will happen because the courting personalities will allow it to be so.
 Summering
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 117
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 12/18/2006 10:42:42 AM
Scientific studies have concluded that it takes a year to get to really know a person. It is of no use jumping from one frying pan to another.

Now if both parties are looking for sex (and advertising it), then that is a different matter.

Otherwise, it is better to be prudent than sorry.
 poeticflame82
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 118
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 12/18/2006 12:59:45 PM
taking things slow can mean many things; men with integrity and morals might choose to remain a virgin until they've found their half soul. Women, why do most consider men gay if they don't committ to sex? is sexual satisfaction more important than romance, spiritual closeness, communication or trust? No...sex comes through and with time, it should be reserved for a special moment. Sorry I had to get that off my chest, most women are getting on my nerves because they can't believe i'm a virgin. see, often times ya'll believe a man is all ****ed up...well, it is because we're often tired of being doubted. okay continuing on, taking it slow means to kiss after the 3rd or 5th date, nothing really physically close until a year or 2. yes i'm saying a year or two because in that period it gives more time to know the person (not 100% though). taking it slow means talking on the phone once a day for 30 minutes rather than 3 hours. taking it slow also means TO LOVE CAUTIOUSLY, be careful who you love. Not everyone that has superficial qualities (good looks, charm and sex drive) can have genuine assetts.
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 119
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 12/18/2006 6:02:29 PM
To me taking it slow is not be be plaining how many babies and choosing furniture before we are actually serious .


Poet dude , hahahaha yo is funny , yes of course women think a guy is weird or funny in a fruity way , they may even think your sexuality is neutral if you are a virgin or celibate.

I am celibate and get told I must me gay , seriously gay. Women are always in my house in droves using it for a party house since I have no neighbors to annoy , they use it for a girls night out to drink. Or the pijama party house where they do their hair and I buy the booze.

This weekend were at my house. I tell them time again I am not gay , sometimes I wake up to a naked 18 year old after a drunk party and they feel for the woody to veryfy I am a "MAN" . I tell them to behave , it is humiliating and fun at the same time. I am showering 2 join me to see if wood happens, humiliating and fun, they fel secure and protected since I am celibate.

Kiss them all , do not bang them and they will kill for you and fight for some reason .

People say I am a player and a pig, I do not have to do anything just taking it slow .

If I was a horndog , I would probably have alot of problems with the parents and drama, even parents know I am celibate .... "honey if you are going out with Leon , hey go all night I do not care , he is a good guy ".... only with him okay ? Come back after he takes you to church tomorrow , hehehehe. yes it does really happen .

It is great being a great guy , taking things slowly, one day I will have that long relationship when I am convinced by one that took it slowly so I really got to know her in every way, then the orgi will begin .
 Gunslinger94
Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 120
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:28:57 PM
It means your not the only girl on the hook and he is stringing you out to see which girl is better = He's a liar.

Liar.
 Agallah005
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 121
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:44:38 PM
it means"why don't we take it slow while I can get this other chick off of my "schlong" nothing more than that. I always take that approach if I want one girl and go onto the next. nothing innocent about that, but then you get older and you start thinking slower is better
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 122
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:45:38 PM
My my what a bunch of cynics?

From this thread I have to wonder if all the men that are finding negative connotations to the words are not players trying to mess us ladies up. The ladies that are finding negative connotations perhaps want this in a man but simply don't believe it truly exists.

I like to take it slow simply because I have been hurt in the past and I do want to be sure that it is the man I care about and not the sex or having "someone" around. I choose to assume that a man will say it for the same reason...it is called projection.

I've met a man who has said this...we have been physical but are backing up that train to focus on getting to know each other. I feel like the luckiest girl in the pond right now because this man has respect for me and he is honest. Rather than assume anything, I actually asked him what it meant...he told me what HE meant. That really does work you know.... COMMUNICATION! Maybe in a week/month/few months, I might decide he is not right for me or he may decide I am not right for him. At least I will know he was interested enough in me to get to know me, not just my body.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 123
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:56:34 PM
It depends on the man. One man can me he wants look around a bit. one can mean not jumping in a relationship, depends on the guy.
 Loladoublecup
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 124
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 3/25/2007 8:06:26 AM
He is not really "into you". He is probably shopping for other woman.
 massachusettes0
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 125
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 3/25/2007 8:15:59 AM
it means he is waiting to see if his ex. will take him back.. so she wont mention you on their arguments.-- LOOK WHAT I CAN DO
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