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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?      Home login  
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 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 51
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Maybe he's basically a really nice guy that YOU brought out the worst in?

The best revenge is living well, not being a punk and bad mouthing anybody.
 Lnstarkiss
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 52
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:11:24 AM
Revenge? If that's what we want to discuss, let's start another thread. I can think of at least a dozen better ways of getting revenge than just posting something to a site. If I have interpreted the OP's intention correctly, this is supposed to be a discussion about a service to enable men and women to research past and sometimes present behavior of people in whom they may have a serious interest.
 sweety35
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:17:20 PM
I had a guy that lied to tme the whole month I dated him. he was still with his wife, told me he loved me, bought me things, opened car doors for me, treated me like gold, b ut had his wife on the side he was supposidly divorcing! Then to top it all off, he had his WIFE break up with me, and she demanded the stuff back he bought me!!!
 APRILLEANNE
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 54
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:45:47 PM
Yes I would, wouldn't want him hurting anyone else like he hurt me. Besides he deserves to have everyone know what a jerk he is.
 lateinlove
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 55
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:02:33 PM
I would expose him if this guy has a pattern of some sort like using women for money then leaving them suddenly for another bigger bank account. If I had listened to my ex's ex this wouldnt have happened to me and to the girl he is seeing now. she is starting to notice...but it is up to the readers if they want to believe it. but warning are good.
 lateinlove
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 56
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:04:33 PM
now that man has no balls of anykind. I hope his wife knew he lied to you. you are the innocent party here.
 ttlove
Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 57
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:56:53 PM
No that is just bad carma not to mention that if you still have hate in your heart you will never move on.
 maverick_miss37
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 58
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/19/2006 11:07:26 PM
There is a website designed just for this. I didn't go through all these responses, but there is a site designed to post pics of men who done women wrong.

I don't really have a personal opinion about it, i just know there was lots of women who were interested, and lots of men who weren't.

I do know that I wouldn't want my pic posted as one of those ladies who broke a man's heart........sheesh..I don't even want to finish this sentence.

I never cheated on a man, I just broke things off, and some men might take that as a realy bee-yotch thing to do.

 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 59
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:08:00 AM
Do any of you see that you would be guilty of slander if you posted what you are suggesting onto a public forum? And if you distributed anything in print, you would add libel to that.

Is it worth it? You could spend the rest of your life working to pay the offended party after the lawsuit (which he would win). Just so you feel better about YOU making a bad choice?
 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 60
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:34:38 AM

Tell me what is it called when the second party of a couple engaged in producing objects, oh say like "private" pictures or tapes agrees to turn them over to the first party, (in the event that they should part) AS a stipulation for producing them in them first place. Then later refuses to return them holding the pictures ransom and threatening to download them onto the internet for the world to view if, the first party discusses matters the second party considers "sensitive" to select individuals?


Extortion. An awful thing to do.

And that agreement had better be written down somewhere.

But if in retaliation the party of the first part advertises the situation, that is defamation and actionable. Unless there has been a written document executed with the various conditions you expressed, it is all hearsay and would be tossed out as inadmissable. Even if a 3rd party (cameraman?) were brought in to testify, that 3rd party was not involved in the actual document and that testimony is not relevant. There may be some obscure precedent and this is certainly not important to me to research it, but that's my initial take. Any kind of testimony that contains "He said he was going to....." is subject to the counteraction of "Prove he said it."

Now, we are talking here about letter of the law, not the spirit of the law. If a couple chooses to engage in filming their intimate actions, no matter what is said about the actual tape, I don't know that our courts should be bothered with something moral vs contract law.
 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 61
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:53:20 AM
I saw see a lawyer and don't listen to a stranger on POF.

Obvioulsy we are talking about you here.

And if you recorded anything without him knowing he was being recorded you violated his civil rights and he walks.

This isn't the Watergate Hotel. No secret tape recorders, no witness hiding behind the shower curtain....

Hire a lawyer.
 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 62
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:24:27 AM
See a lawyer. I am done commenting on this.
 Bl0ndie_420
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 63
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:44:56 AM
yea most likely.... i did everything for my ex and he played me so bad....
 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 64
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:46:20 AM
You are 17 years old and speaking about an EX?????

Have you even been to a prom yet?
 Beautiful Deviant
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 65
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:05:52 AM
No, I wouldn't.

A relationship is never one sided, nor is a break-up. I might think my ex is a jerk, but there was a time I loved him and trusted him. He is the father of my children, and as much as we don't always get along, he will always be the father of my children. I would not want to lose their respect, or deepen the rift between us, just to emote.

Warning other people of one's behaviour, is hardly ever done with just good feelings. It's still trying to hurt or get back at the one person who failed you. We all expect different things from our spouses, partners. We all have our own expectations, agendas and goals. JUST because that person no longer fits into your life, for whatever reason, is not to say that he won't find the right person for him. Besides, most people won't listen to your warnings. They will need to find out for themselves whether your ex is a good person...or not. It's like telling people NOT to lick something metal in winter. People STILL do it, out of curiousity, perhaps thinking THEY will be the one not to suffer the consequences.

I doubt I'd be happy to read how much a jerk my ex thought I was. What goes around comes around, and relationships are a two way street. He probably thinks I'm a ****. It's all a matter of perception, and from whose point of view you are seeing things.

Besides, staying hateful and negative is such a waste of energy. I wish my ex the best. The one thing I know for certain, he is no longer my problem. We had a go at love, we found it, we held it, we worked at it, then we slowly let it slip away. It's just another door closed, opening opportunity for each of us to try again.

I'm happier now than I was in the last few years of our 11 year relationship. He's moved on, and I'm enjoying the process of finding love somewhere else.

The only time I think it necessary to report wrongdoing by a partner is in the case of abuse, attempted murder, theft, cruelty, domestic violence, then...the victim should be talking to the police, a lawyer, a doctor, and using legal avenues to ensure it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Good question.
Dev
 Sincerelyours48in2006
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 66
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:12:29 AM
Why bother? Too much effort. I just get over it and move on. What goes around eventually comes around. We may not see it, but trust me karma always gets them.
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 67
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:10:16 PM
Thank you all for your opinions. I see about 50x50 division. Half of women would do it, the other half wouldn't. Half would want to read a guy's history and half wouldn't want to search for such an info.

BTW the website www. dontdatehimgril.com is only for reporting married cheating men with no names or other identity allowed. All of you have very good points. I appreciate that.

I was surprised that some people assumed I had a bad experience recently and gave me advice Where did you get that idea? I am a happily married lady with two kids. I was just wondering why so many women drag their exes to court, like Judge Judy, after being dumped and whether this kind of a website will take the pressure off the courts.

I admit I was wrong about "Nobody making up stories". You got me there! I still believe that a wonderful caring successful guy will never appear on such a site. I still tend to believe that the only reason someone would be reported like that is that he hurt a girl and didn't take responsibility for it. She may exadurate the story. True, but to me any story, big or small, shows that this guy had one unsuccessful relationship, hurt someone's feeling and left this emotional business unfinished. If he didn't get it then, what's the guarantee he gets it now? And that's pretty much what I think girls want when they date someone - a guarantee that he is a good unselfish guy. It is hard to tell without the guy's history. And by history I don't mean just "his version".

Anyway, that you all for participating. It's been a very useful discussion for me and I hope for others too!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 68
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:17:02 PM
No way. Sometimes people bring out the ugly in each other. He may not be a jerk to the next person and it certainly isn't my place to discuss him in a public venue. I try to think of the re-actions to my actions. Do you want him to do the same to you? Probably not. Private lives are exactly that ~ private. Unfortunately, maybe he thinks you were a jerk also. I wanted to take out an ad in the New York Times when my ex did what he did ~ it wouldn't have solved anything and would have opened a can of worms for me. I think it's best to leave it alone. If he is a decent person at all, he already knows he was a jerk. And if he doesn't "get" it ~ he's the one missing something!! I'd just let it go and move on.
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 69
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:35:23 PM

Sometimes people bring out the ugly in each other. He may not be a jerk to the next person and it certainly isn't my place to discuss him in a public venue. I try to think of the re-actions to my actions. Do you want him to do the same to you? Probably not. Private lives are exactly that ~ private. Unfortunately, maybe he thinks you were a jerk also.


May not be a jerk? What is it Russian rullet? He lets himself choose to be bad or not? Yesterday I hurt people, today I didn't... I wonder how I want to behave tomorrow? Lets throw a coin! That shows lack of dignity!

If he want to write bad things about a woman - again I WISH he did, because once again - I'm not dating a guy who's had bad experience and thinks badly about his ex! No matter which one is reporting it, it's a goal into his gates!

And only because he hurt me privately, it doesn't make his behavior good and it's not an exuse for covering it up! That's exactly how they get away with it and that has to stop!
 shigogouhou
Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 70
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:54:29 PM
May not be a jerk? What is it Russian rullet? He lets himself choose to be bad or not? Yesterday I hurt people, today I didn't... I wonder how I want to behave tomorrow? Lets throw a coin! That shows lack of dignity!

Firstly, it's Russian ROULETTE.

And just because he's "bad" doesn't mean it's totally his fault. Consider who he's being "bad" to; a vindictive, self-centered, stubborn woman who's already shown serious intent on interfering with his new relationship, his NEW RELATIONSHIP THAT DOES NOT CONCERN OR INVOLVE YOU.

He's not "covering up" what he did to you. He's *gasp* moved on, and therefore does not see the need to involve you in any way, shape or form into his new relationship. Apparently you need some counseling or something, because you've got issues letting go of the past.

And does anyone else find it oddly suspicious that no matter how we shoot her logic down, she somehow comes up with some other lame reason to continue spouting this "WELL HE DID THIS TO ME AND EVERYONE ON EARTH NEEDS TO KNOW" mentality? Seriously, the only reason anybody cares what he did is because you're making a complete fool of yourself to try to convince the world that not only are you right, but he is wrong. Get over him, and get over yourself, please, for all our sakes.
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 71
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 2:04:39 PM
Ok, ok, I hear you guys! Thanks for getting me!
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 72
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:00:42 PM

I wish this site had a rating system. So, we could rate a person after meeting/dating them. Rate things like how honest they were


Oh, I agree. That's what I had in mind too. And not just rating from 1 to 10, but say several ratings of this person's qualities. Like is he reliable, honest, hard working, trust worthy, selfless, sweet, caring, good listener, in good control of his temper, shares finances and house chores, respectful to women, respectful to authority, career oriented, loves kids, has good values, right priorities, faithful and so on and so forth. I mean a guy could be caring and very career oriented, but disrespectful to law, and that's a deal breaker for me, or he could be sharing his financies and doing house chores, but not be in control of his temper with you, and that's a deal breaker too. You know what I'm saying?

Plus I understand that one woman's opinion is not enough statistics, but if three-four-five of his exes leave the similar feedback - you can get an idea who you are dealing with. In fact, it could be an eye opening experience for him too if so many people agree on his "flaws". He can see it as a chance to improve.

I'm not saying the guy shouldn't be allowed to find happiness. But if he is starting from scratch with a new woman and resists change it's not helping anyone to remain silent about it. It's a watse of time for all of us.

She who doesn't want to know - won't search for his name in such a database. But it doesn't mean that it's wrong to have one!
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 73
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:14:30 PM

Now I see why you have issues with relationships... you are out to change men.


Where did you get that idea? In case you haven't read on of my replies or my profile, I am a happily married woman with two kids and very proud of it! You see, it's ok for you and I to disagree on this issue. I respect your opinion and mine isn't changing much either.


That is just wrong on so many levels...

Could you be more specific? Could you please give some examples? Just because I don't agree with you on every aspect doesn't mean I don't want to understand your position. That's the whole idea of this thread. Plus it's not just me vs the world. I see about half women agreeing with me and providing some constructive feedback. Any idea could be made better. Only if you critisize constructively, like what exactly would you do differently? See what I'm saying?
 kit56
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 74
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:25:11 PM
you bet i would but its an ex husband not boyfriend. this man beat me had affairs and convienced every friend i had that i was in the wrong...he is the best in the world at making people believe anything he wants too and i would love for the world to read what a jerk he is..not that he could not convence them differently but i would love to throw my two cents in anyway.
 KoiBoi
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 75
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:31:09 PM
You shouldn't spread this manure for two reasons.

One, it may be an otherwise very good person that you pushed into being mean. You didn;t give us both sides, and obviously you can't tell anything but your version, and that will be jaded by your hurt.

Two, it is just so childish and cowardly. Like going to their house at night and damaging their car. Very immature.
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