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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > THEY SAY "YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK      Home login  
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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 19
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I think women have a much better chance of this happening; men are going to approach you if they find you attractive.


I disagree, they approach, then seem nervous/scared/shy.

A few of the men I did date IRL said they were afraid to ask me out, even (AFTER THE FACT) though they wanted to. I think many middle aged men are afraid/out of practice, etc.
 interintwined
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 20
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 1/27/2012 12:25:45 AM
You knew what was coming before it came but ignored your gut feeling and you most likely passed up "nice guys"
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 21
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 1/27/2012 10:41:19 PM

Do you think that you'll find your 'mate' when your actively searching? The more time and energy spent on the 'hunt' gets the greater payoff. Is looking for the right person the same as shopping for a new car? You go on the internet, you research it, you invest a lot of time and energy into finding that 'perfect one.'

Or is it just fluke? Finding a the right person falling right into your lap. I've heard that many times that "you'll find 'the one' when your not looking." Do you think that's true?


There may be some truth to this, depending on just what you're looking for. What I mean is, if your real goal is being in a relationship, you may unconsciously settle for a person who also wants a relationship despite things that should be red (or at least yellow) flags. You hope, and perhaps even believe that the other person is "the one", when she/he really isn't. When you ease up on yourself and stop making the relationship itself so important, you are better able to pay attention to just how "right" or "wrong" a person is; you're more willing to keep looking for the person who is really right for you, and thus right for the relationship you want to be in.
 Lookin4honest
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 22
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 1/27/2012 11:47:58 PM
that is such bull, just about like this site. most of the women on here are only out to have some take care of them , gold diggin , nuts or think that they are better than the men who ask them out. It is ridiculous as to the attitudes of women that put things such as " if you have the same interest reply, but when you do they are no where near what they put out there".
 Dara11
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 23
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/6/2012 4:36:47 PM
I think what Colin said was the smartest thing I've read all day..."if we're all suppose to be not looking than all of us who are on here looking for someone, should delete our profiles and log off...and I love the word he uses "instantly"........ Oh!!!! I better get off.... Dara
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 24
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/6/2012 4:39:06 PM
I think it should be changed it to
"You'll find someone who is not who you are looking for".
cus
looking for that perfect imaginary human is sure to fail.
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 25
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/7/2012 7:39:12 PM
Well my story is slightly modified.
I was looking, just looking in the other direction.
If you want to know my story, its on my profile.

Is she "the one?" I gave up on that theory after being married twice, but I have no reason what so ever to think that there is an end in sight.
 Larrytwa
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 26
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/7/2012 11:49:40 PM
NO!

Fairy-tales are just that.

You want to find LOVE, how about chuck the phone. Listen a bit. Laugh a bit. Forget your looks and your clothes, and find LOVE in places you would never dream to look.

 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 28
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/15/2012 9:26:15 AM
I think the more happy you are with yourself alone... the more attractive you are to others. I know the times when I was most interested in finding a companion in my life were the times there was the least shown towards me. The less I care... the more interested others are. Care to explain that?

Of course there is no burying your head in the sand if you have any hopes of meeting the right person for you also... it is also a numbers thing... apparently HUGE numbers lol
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 29
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/27/2012 2:52:08 PM
How many people wake up in the morning and say " Wow, what a nice day. I think I'll go out and find a husband/wife today?"

I can't say I've ever done that. I probably never looked for a friend either. They just seem to happen.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 30
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:05:27 PM
Too many people go about looking for "the one" like the human resources department looks to fill a position. It shouldn't be a quest with some huge list of wants and desires that are must haves. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack to expect any one person to have every single attribute on your list. Yup...I think you find the one (of possible manies) when you're not looking. Having said that, you're not going to find anyone if you don't put yourself in the position of meeting people in all kinds of places and ways. I know practically reclusive people who sit home constantly and complain they aren't in a relationship of any kind - most meter readers and mail carriers that drop by just aren't going to be interested.
 what94523
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 31
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:29:02 PM
Thats exactly how it works but not always the "right"one something enters bang you think they are it and hopefully they are. But from personal experience this is exactly how it works
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 32
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 3/27/2012 7:45:01 PM
Yes! I am not looking, I hope he arrives soon!lol
 RD2112
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 33
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:33:59 PM
If you are looking then you are usually trying too hard to find someone and you end up going for the wrong person. You get impatient or snowblind. It,s usually when you aren't seeking that your path crosses with a special someone. You aren't so eager and you end up taking the time to realize that this person really is who you want to be with ...a'lot.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 34
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/25/2012 9:17:06 PM
No, not really. If I am not looking, IE, dating, then I don't meet anyone at all.

When dating, I have never looked for a long term relationship, much less the "one" they just happen. I date just to have fun with a women, but in the course of human events, sometimes you meet someone you just don't want to let go of.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 35
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/26/2012 4:17:27 PM
ryantyler- That's how it happened for me with my ex. That obviously didn't work out, but lightning may indeed strike twice.
I'm on here, but happy to be single.
I think trying too hard can backfire, so I would agree that the best sparks often fly during an unplanned meeting.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 36
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/26/2012 4:28:27 PM
I have practically given up. Even when i try to date.. its just meeting in a public place. ... Nothing ever comes of it.. and I will live.
 EsaMorena1088
Joined: 12/25/2010
Msg: 37
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/26/2012 4:56:30 PM
I think that what the quote means is that if you look too hard, you might end up trying to see something that's just not there. Some people are so desperate for a relationship that they literally scour their surroundings looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. Anyone who's desperate enough can make another person seem like the answer to their prayers. Sometimes it takes sitting back and recognizing things in people when you meet them rather than forcing yourself to believe that they have what you're looking for.

Regardless, stay optimistic and open to the possibilities around you. You never know where "the one" could be. Best of luck, OP! :-)
 kymberkys
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 38
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/26/2012 5:18:07 PM
I have never actively searched or looked for someone.
I dont see it doing any good. I dont go out of my way to place myself in a room full of single men!!! Lol
op best thing is you do you the rest will fall in place.
 MeBoneU
Joined: 5/8/2012
Msg: 39
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/26/2012 5:21:40 PM
yes and no, when you're busy with your own life and not interested in a relationship, theres always one to sneak up on you, but, if your not busy and you want someone in your life you need to do soul searching and some hard work to find someone worth a relationship
 lucky8711
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 40
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 5/30/2012 3:59:47 PM
i think for me that's how it is. My last 2 gfs were random and i was looking on the net for a gf but these 2 i found through friends etc.. the funny thing is, one of the girls that i went out with, I ACTUALLY met her on this site before, and messaged her, but she ignored me but then a few months later i somehow ended up with her. I then told her how she ignored me on the website lol and she said i look much better in real life. shalloww
 turnitupman
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 41
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 6/4/2012 1:21:44 AM
Of course it is.

In other news, you'll also get rich when you're willfully unemployed, you'll get in shape while you're sitting on the couch watching , and playing video games instead of studying for college makes you smarter and more successful in what you want to do :P

Nothing good in life comes from just waiting for it, you gotta run out and grab it by the short and curly hairs when you see what you want, or at least that's my experience. Sitting and waiting gets you a kick in the teeth.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 42
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 6/4/2012 9:41:34 AM
It is like a guy sitting in a bar waiting for an unknown women to pick him up and take him home.

I think this only works for women unless they are scary looking, then what is inside that counts , they have to search.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 43
THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 6/5/2012 3:43:13 AM
It only works that way for some people. I'm not so sure where the line is drawn between looking and not looking anymore.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 44
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THEY SAY YOU'LL FIND 'THE ONE' WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING...DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:39:48 AM
silverlight , I cannot beleive that you have that kind of problem. Woman as attractive as you should not even have to try, maybe it is your location, in san diego you just appear and guys come , well much more guys from the military than women here though. ;)
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