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 Affectionate_guy
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 105
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend NakedPage 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
There's some good adivce on here, much of which I agree with.
1st off, you need to have a talk with her, and see if she's willing to get help. (counseling, etc) She obviously has a lot of insecurities, and issues.
2nd, if she's not, you need to let her go, and move on. No one's ready to get married, untill they're emotionally healthy, and she's obviously not. Don't expect her to suddenly change if you get married, cause she won't.
Bottom line: if she doesn't improve, &/or isn't willing to get help, let her go, and don't come back utill she's better. I know it's hard, but, it's better for both of you in the long run.
Good luck, and God Bless.
 frazell
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 106
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:06:36 AM
3 YEARS!!!!!!!! That is ridiculous!!!! It is a shame about her insecurities, but you need to enjoy life too and having great sex is the best part of life!!! Especially spontanious sex, just whenever and wherever the mood strikes you. She is SO LUCKY to have you....I am still looking for that "special" someone that wants to have a relationship at all.... let alone great sex!! Good Luck to you...
 auntymar
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 107
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History
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:16:39 AM
Am I the only one wondering why this guy is on a dating site and says he has a girlfriend of three years. And you really wonder why she feels insecure? Hmmmm.....
 ~squirrly~
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 108
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:16:45 AM
I still say "she" was really a man....LOL and as the OP closed his account maybe he discovered that?
 Kiyana
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 111
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:41:54 AM
You need to communicate this with her...in a time and place where she doesnt feel pressured or on the spot - which can be tough to do. She is obviously too hard on herself for some reason. Perhaps ask casually ask her sometime why she prefers the dark and to hide her gorgeous body. Then leave it alone, bide some time, and let your interest in knowing sink in without it feeling like its an answer you expect right away. You seem to care and want to help her so this might be a very un-intrusive manner to at least BEGIN approaching it.

Maybe after some time, ask if you an light 'a' (one) small candle...tell her you love the mood that shadows play on the walls and the way the light flickers in her eyes. Perhaps over more time this can become a ritual...and break open a pathway for more evaluation and effort to have other interactions outside of dark hours range.

what I wouldnt do...is feed her TOO much in compliments hoping it will alleviate her anxiety. People who tend to be this insecure want NO attention focused on their insecurities (good or bad)...but still need the positive reinforcement. So compliment something lower key, something that she already likes about herself, and keep it at that until such a time you can slowly feed in more reinforcements on the things YOU like about her.

Patterns are tough to break - she might have very good reasons in her past about her insecurities...but after three years, I would think some of them would have ccome up in some form for discussion.

good luck, hope someone on here gives you a sense of hope in their advice. in the meantime continue loving her and cherishing her and if shes really great, dont let her go - work through this with her.
 PBjellyTIME
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 112
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:44:18 AM
This is going to be a really weird response, not saying its your case at all, but it just reminded me of this.

There was a couple that made news in my small hometown of ontario. They were living together, and the guy would only make love in the dark, he said that it was because he was burned when he was a child and he didnt like the way it looked. For 2 years they did this, meinwhile the guy was very abusive physically, and demanding, and one night it resorted to a fight where the guy ended up being stabbed, and when he went to the hospital, they noticed.. oh.... it was a woman afterall! egad!

So amazing what you miss in the dark.

Has your gf told you what youre not looking at? Personally, I wouldnt sleep with anyone who's body I couldnt see. Even for the obvious reason as , if theres herpes/warts there, I want to know before I go. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate of 'giving yourself to someone'. Shes apparently refusing to give you her trust. Dont overlook that.
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:58:07 AM
Go see the play Maddam Butterfly- there are stranger things. Light a candle then two then three. Good luck . Litlle wine in her grape juice will help.
 Hiwayman
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 115
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 8:59:36 AM
Well grasshopper when the day comes that you finally GROW UP you will learn to accept your GF for who she is and PATIENTLY hope for better things. You don't love this gal. If you did you wouldn't be making such a big deal out of this. I'd love to hear what your GF has to say about YOUR insecurities. Bet they are doozies. What a joke
 willynkitty
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 116
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:31:44 AM
There are alot of women that have this problem,, not only because of thier body perhaps but other reasons sometimes they cant and wont talk about.. So as long as you get the sex and get where you want be happy,, what about the guys that have a girlfried or wife that dont give them sex at all.. count yourself lucky.. and dont worry about the cloths,, sometimes it makes it sexier to wonder..
 Relax-Enjoy
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 117
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:59:34 AM
And you admitted that on a public message board? 86 her before she makes you jump off a bridge! By the way, if you have a g/f of 3 yrs, what the hell are you doing here anyway?

djL
 blue sunshine
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 118
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 10:14:59 AM
He's been gone for ages......so um.....it's a moot point really......

Plus, lots of people are in the forums whom are not interested in dating etc......the judgment's not really yours to make.....don't ya think?
 Relax-Enjoy
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 119
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:35:52 PM
Blue Sunshine, are you talking to me?

djL
 libraangel83
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 120
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:55:17 PM
Maybe she has something about her that she is afraid you'll see in the light. I have this beauty mark on my foot that looks like a freckle and i swear i get sooo nervous the first time any of my new boyfriends see it. i know thats stupid and its not hideous its actually really cute ive been told but i never know if a guys gonna be like WHATS THAT? lol so maybe thats the deal with her. I mean she obviously doesnt mind being touched by you (?) so it seems like she is dealing with something visual. And yes, we girls are soooo concerned about every little angle or inch of fat on us infront of you guys. I actually noticed my boyfriend that ive been dating for only a month got a little self conscious the other day when we were together because he thinks hes gaining weight and i thought it was really cute but just hugged him, seemed to make him feel better, plus telling him randomly how sexy he is and touching him where he may feel vulnerable but doing it with a hey i think youre sexy attitude helps too.

Good luck and hope it all works out!
 []mephistopheles[]
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 122
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:56:52 PM
get a clapper, and in the middle of your love making yell "SUPRISE BIATCH" CLAP CLAP!



nah I'm just joking, that would be mean. Just be patient....I'm sure she'll eventually come around.
 SunsetStorm
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 123
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:42:46 PM
Maybe its really a man post op? Good chance sounds odd as hell. Id walk away personally someone that scared of their body has serious Issues - youve waited 3 years , things will only get worse not better from here.

Im still running with the man theory but, why else cant someone see you naked or even have sex with you In the morning? Theres something there that may be found In even the slightest light obviously haha. I mean cmon, If shes just some no one can see me freak you can still have sex In the morning - are you sure your feeling the right things down there and theres not some odditys like scar tissue?

And If shes not a man walk away anyway, this ones smacking of as soon as a marraige happens you wont even get sex again - hidden and dark or not. By the way how does she get up and get dressed In the morning without you seeing her naked?
 Dog Mommy
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 124
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:56:20 PM
She sounds insecure...and perhaps she views her naked body as shameful...who knows, is she Catholic? Don't start yelling at me people for asking that The Catholic church does have the tendency to make one feel sex and the human body is shameful.
I would talk to her about it...tell her how you feel, and see if maybe she might try talking to someone...therapy.
 2020lol
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 126
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:34:47 PM
whats sad is you are no only a uneducated no class cry baby ***hole, but you come on here and totally whine about your whole reltionship to a bunch of strangers your pathetic and a disgrace of a human being i hope she develops a brain and dump you. god your a loser.
 surviver2772
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 127
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:03:36 AM
Run like the wind. She is not self-conscious she is self-centered. Not accetping your faults (physical or mental) is not healthy.
 pretty_little_princess
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 130
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:31:37 PM
I TOTALLY agree with evermind!! You are turning it into a bigger issue by pushing the issue in the first place. Although you have been "patient" you obviously don't accept her unconditionally, and I'm also pretty sure she can pick up on that in some way through things you say. Even if you are giving praise you are still judging her, and she knows this. Because this is an issue for YOU, it will come accross as tension in the relationship in some fashion, and that will also increase her insecurities.

There have been some men I do feel uncomfortable around, and others I'm totally carefree with. It's never been about the length of time I am with them, or how beautiful they say I am...it's all about having that pressure to perform, or live up to expecations in some fashion. I love my body, but if I feel like I'm being judged in ANY way I freeze up to a certain degree. It's funny my sister used to ALWAYS wear sweatpants, and big shirts. (even in the summer), and she has a smokin body. The more people tried to convince her otherwise, and the more attention was placed on her appearance the less she wanted to change. Once people just accepted that thats just the way she was and how she wanted to dress, and stopped trying to convince her of how hot she was the more she opened up. Now she wears short skirts, tight shirts, dresses...she has no hang-ups at all.

If you TRUELY love her let her be who she is, and put your own agenda aside COMPLETELY and I'm sure she will come around (when she feels comfortable to).
 andrew1953
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 132
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/21/2007 2:08:17 AM
Don't sweat it! If you want sex in the AM or mid afternoon and she does too, then invest in some black-out drapes for your windows. Many women have or develop a poor self image (late stage pregnancy). I feel he drapes will help with the timing. that said, I feel this is a symptom of deeper issues and a few hours of counseling would help you both. Continue your kind and understanding approach and DON'T issue an ultimatum It will not have the results you desire.

Consider the story of King Arthur and the Witch:

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.

The question… What do women really want? Such a question would perplex
even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an
impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the
monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the
priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have
the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom
for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to
the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights
of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one
tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never
encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible
burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and
the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur’s question
thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered… is to be in charge of her own
life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom, and
Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific
experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most
beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared
as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half
the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day… or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to
show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old
witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by
night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT… make YOUR choice before you scroll
down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own
life.

Now… what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down


The moral is…

If you don’t let a woman have her own way…
Things are going to get ugly!
 CallmeJewels
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 133
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/21/2007 5:49:02 AM
Red flag goes up for me. She needs to see a therapist. From school I have learned there are lots who don't remember abuse. You have been nothing but so patient with her. I admire that! Wish you both the best.
 eazk
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 135
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/21/2007 7:25:54 AM
3 years...it's too late...you've already lost the battle. Succumb to the fact that she now officially owns your testicles and there ain't a dayumm thing you can do about it except to break up and move on.

 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 136
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/21/2007 7:40:32 AM
The OP has left the building. It would appear that Fission’s relationship has split and broken into parts.
 wodehousefan2
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 137
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:29:33 AM
If you have been with her for 3 years, and had sex during that time, and still not seen her naked, she is not your girlfriend. Odds are she is not even a girl, but is a mutilated male known as a transgender...a he-she...a sex change-ee. Dump him, and get yourself a real woman. Start dating a stripper, and you'll see her naked all the time; along with the rest of the world.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 140
view profile
History
3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/10/2007 4:02:09 PM
"The OP has left the building. It would appear that Fission’s relationship has split and broken into parts." Maybe he did see her naked!! And
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