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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 104
Gentlemen can be BORING!Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Can I please stick my finger inside your pocket?

Wait, this is not my pocket, it's my vagina.

That's okay, this is not my finger either.
 jonash2007
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 108
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 12/23/2008 11:05:13 PM
You were doing all that on a first date? You naughty girl! lol....he was probably trying not to get accused of rape...There is a fine line between taking a woman the way she wants to be 'taken' and overstepping the line. And nowadays if a guy oversteps that line, there is a short path to getting accused of rape or other such unsavory things...it is risky for the man. Just look at what happened to the Duke lacrosse team guys...luckily they were smart enough to fight back, but you can't be too careful these days...there are a LOT of crazy chics out there who will say ANYthing (and cops tend to side with the woman first and almost always)...so you BETTER ask first..at least in the beginning.

The bigger question is why are you turned off by a considerate guy? What does that say about you? Do you WANT someone to treat you like crap? There are plenty out there who will...especially if that is what you seem to like.
 PsychDoctor
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 109
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History
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 12/24/2008 7:57:00 AM
"Also, don't come at me and tell me that I do not respect myself for getting in a car or kissing...... Plus, I don't know how you date, but I didn't know it was trashy to take the same car. A guy has never picked you up for a date?"

Dear FieryRedhead85 -

What you do on a date is your business. No one else's opinion matters. You are responsible and accountable for your own behavior.

My concern reading your post was for your SAFETY. You let a man that you had never met pick you up in his car??? Didn't your mother ever teach you about internet dating safety? Meet in a public place. Don't give him your home or work address. Take your own car or have enough cash to get home on your own. Let someone know where you're going.

You're very lucky that he was nothing more than a socially inexperienced 19-year-old boy who lied about his age. What if he had turned out to be a 50 year old homicidal deviant or sexual predator? Instead of reading your post, we might be reading about your mutilated corpse being found in a ditch.

You are very young, cute, and far more trusting than you should be in this day and age. Please pay more attention to your own safety. Please.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 116
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History
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:52:42 AM
Ok, very old thread (and all other things aside), but I did read all the way through and was somewhat surprised no one mentioned the notorious Antioch Code, which was instituted at the insistence of women. It formulated a set of rules for the conduct of sexual relationships which required the male to secure explicit verbal consent prior to each escalation of physical intimacy leading to sex. "Can I touch your breast now?" "Can I put my hand inside your panties now?" "Can I put my finger inside you now?" Sound familiar?

From wikipedia:
The Sexual Offense Prevention Policy

In 1993 Antioch became the focus of national attention with its "Sexual Offense Prevention Policy." This policy was initiated after two date rapes reportedly occurred on the Antioch College campus during the 1990-91 academic year. A group of students formed under the name "Womyn of Antioch" to address their concern that sexual offenses in general were not being taken seriously enough by the administration or some in the campus community. Advocates of the policy explain that the original "Sexual Offense Policy," as it was then called, was created during a couple of late-night meetings in the campus Womyn's Center, and that "this original policy was quite questionable. It was not legally binding, no rights were given to the accused, and it called for immediate expulsion of the accused with no formal process." The policy, both as it then stood and as revised, uniquely viewed any sexual offense as not simply a violation of the victim's rights, but as an offense against the entire campus community. It was revised to focus more on education and less on punishment and clarified in a series of community meetings during the 1991-92 academic year. Once revised, it was endorsed by the entire campus and the Board of Trustees, and thus became the official policy of the college that year.

This revised policy attracted renewed national publicity two years later, during the fall semester of the 1993-94 academic year, allegedly when a student doing a co-op on the west coast mentioned the policy to a California campus newspaper reporter. An Associated Press reporter picked up the story in the early days of the term, and a media frenzy ensued, one that arguably garnered more attention to Antioch than anything since the student strike of 1973. The policy was often ridiculed by the mainstream American news media that fall, even becoming the butt of a Saturday Night Live sketch, entitled "Is It Date Rape?" Some media outlets voiced support for the policy. For example, syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman asserted that most "sexual policy makers write like lawyers in love," and that, likewise, "at Antioch the authors could use some poetry, and passion." But, she was ultimately sympathetic to their goals of leveling the sexual playing field and making students think about what consent means, saying that the Antioch campus "has the plot line just about right."


So maybe the guy in the OPost was just culturally aware and sensitive to some of these issues, which haven't exactly gone away -- though Antioch College has. Of course if he'd really been smart he would have gotten it in writing, and notarized.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:22:43 AM
I think fieryredhead has answered the age-old question of why girls prefer A-holes over so-called "nice guys"-!
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 124
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:48:24 AM
He probably wasn't that hot for you... I mean you're kinda fat.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 125
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:48:59 AM
OP: So in your mind a guy that asks permission (during your FIRST DATE) to touch your ass/hands wander is a "gentleman/boring"?

He's definitely NOT a gentleman, was probably nervous/lacked experience.
 OpenMindedDiver
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 131
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:50:01 AM
Sounds like a young guy, trying to compensate for lack of experience by making an attempt at being sensitive to your feelings.

In a few years, he may be a much better date, if he accumulates some experience and self-confidence. It's hard for guys, because they get so many mixed signals from women, from the media, etc. Follow your arousal instincts and you're labeled a neanderthal. Try to second guess your date's desires and you'll be labeled a closet gay. With time, men learn how to read a woman's unspoken assent to their advances, learn to lead and give you enough space to follow at your own pace, and learn to anticipate the things that will leave you feel like a woman and guide you both in those directions.

As a southern man, with a bit of breeding, I've been labelled genteel a few times, but I can promise you, I've never asked for permission before kissing or touching a woman. And when she says, "no", which sometimes happens, I respect that too and back away a bit.

Good luck finding a man who's figured it out. It's a difficult balance to maintain these days.

On the other hand, if you'd like to meet a man who doesn't have those issues, well just click "View Profile" and go from there...

;--)
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 132
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:44:20 PM
You were not on a date with a gentleman.

Just because he needed your assurance/permission to molest you on the first meeting makes him an insecure cad.

American Heritage Dictionary : A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior. See Usage Note at lady.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 133
Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:19:58 PM

You can take some control can't you?


So he should've just assumed he could kiss you and grab your butt? Come on.

I can understand being put off by the age lie, but boring people are boring.. gentlemen or not.

I imagine this thread being far different had he just felt you up at his whim.

Geez.


So I take it the a**hole types are still in the running?


No.. not with women who've got even a smidge of common sense.

 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 135
Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:04:11 PM
LOL; fiery redhead if you dont' want honesty, then don't post.

Within hours of meeting a guy, you let him make out with you and feel you up? and you are mad because he didn't take control? Are you kidding me? lol; you can't make this stuff up.

You think it's class and appropriate to do this? unreal; no wonder the STD rate is the highest in history.

he wasnt' being a gentleman; a gentleman wouldn 't act like an idiot and make out like a horny 14 year old to someone he just met, even if the girl was loose and wild.

You need to be more careful; there are a lot of creeps out there and I know 2 women who have been raped from being so loose on online dating sites; not this one but on 2 others; start being smart. I know sleazy and easy is in, but you are better than that; girls gone wild isn 't cool. good luck.
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