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Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 126
Female BisexualityPage 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If a woman is open to being with a female, she's not "normally heterosexual."
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 129
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 4:44:04 PM

I second that LOL. And I rarely use LOLs.

I guess all of the freaks and sex-feigns left myspace and hopped onto 360. Has bisexuality become a fashion statement or what? Surely not. Lord have mercy, all of these dumb-ass skillet lickers saying they are proud of it. Jesus! Um, FYI, wtf is up with your minds? I mean, I'm all about kinky sex, but not with another woman?!! I'm enough woman for myself any day of the week. I guess I'm just too damn jealous to have another chick in bed with my man. I wouldn't know whether to watch or jump up and kick her ass. LOL. Crazy day. Going to sneak down to the end of the holler and sup around. LOL. Have a great day.

Good Lord.

I guess yours is the ONLY proper opinion, right?

If I'm reading this right.. anyone who is bi or gay is stupid, far as you're concerned. How charming.

The stuff I read here never EVER ceases to amaze me. The idiocy, the close-mindedness, the folks so SURE that their opinions are gospel, the sub-moronic hate that spews freely...

Boggles the mind, it does.
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 131
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:21:40 PM

If I take this post above and the previous one.. the difference is like night and day.

One's repugnant and the other has an almost "live and let live" quality to it.

So I'm wondering which is the real opinion.
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 132
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:52:22 PM
i went through a 15 year period of flirting with bisexuality , and loved it, I always called myself a Try-sexual, I'd try anything more than once , made me happy so why not, I got into some very erotic encouters back in the day with woman , sometimes with men watching, the kind people wank to on the web lol , but I've since lost interest in toying with girls , now its just men...
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 136
view profile
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:53:49 AM
Okay, I gotta speak up here. There is way too much ignorance expressed in these posts, not that I think that I'm going to change that.

I am a 55 year old bisexual woman. I first realized I was bi during high school, while I had a boyfriend, when I developed a crush on a girlfriend of mine. I never pursued that one but a few years later my first lover was a woman 15 years older than myself.

I was married for a number of years, divorced, and after that lived with a woman as her lover for six years. During that time I decided I must be a lesbian and presumed that some of the problems I'd had with my husband must have stemmed from that. When I later fell in love with a man, something I didn't think I'd do again, I had to accept that, indeed, I was completely bisexual. That last "coming out" was difficult because, at the time, most of my friends were gay or lesbian and I feared their rejection. Fortunately, I had found some wonderful, tolerant, accepting friends whose reaction was, "We don't care who you sleep with, we just want you to be happy." These are the kind of people I want to have in my life.

Since that time I've dated men for a variety of reasons. I've met one woman who I'd love to be with but she's straight. Dating men is socially more convenient and I don't fit well into the lesbian scene, but I'm still quite capable of loving someone of either sex. For people like myself, it's about the person and not their equipment.

There are a lot of misconceptions about bisexuals among both straight and gay folks. Gay folks distrust us and think we're afraid of being completely gay or "on the fence." There's also resentment that we can easily be perceived as straight and therefore take advantage of the privileges that society affords heterosexuals. Straight people think we're incapable of being monogamous and the (annoying to many of us) reaction of many straight men is immediately, "Oh, boy! A three-way with two women!"

For the record: most of the bisexuals I know are not interested in three-ways. For some folks it *is* a transition phase to being completely gay, but for many of us it is who we truly are.

I won't go into why it seems more acceptable for women than men, but in my and many others' experience it seems more prevalent among women than men. Some psychologists posit that it may be because our first love object in infancy is our mother and that makes it easier for a woman to love another woman. I don't know and I don't care.

Our sexual orientation is not a choice. How we respond to it is our choice, but that orientation is a part of us that we did not sit down one afternoon and make. If you are heterosexual and think that it is, look at yourself honestly and tell me the day you sat down, weighed all the possibilities, and made a decision to be a heterosexual. Silly notion, isn't it?

Why the trendiness among young women these days? I don't know. As society becomes more lenient around sex I suppose it's not surprising. For some it is a passing "experiment." However, it is also allowing expression to something that has been there all along, though repressed. As for who is a bisexual? Are you bi if you have fantasies but don't act on them? Well, are you still heterosexual if you are celibate? I think people get to decide for themselves and their sense of who they are may change over the course of their lives. Observation of human beings will make it obvious that sexuality can be fluid. Heterosexuality may be what is dominant, but variants can and do exist and always have.

I do not advertise my orientation, though my closest friends know. I do not hide it from my lovers. I don't mention it when I meet a man but if the relationship continues and I think I might get involved, I tell them. None of them have cared and if they did, they wouldn't be the kind of person I'd be interested in anyway. I haven't brought it out in the open in POF forums until now precisely for the same reason I generally don't mention it to casual acquaintances. Once that information about you is out there, you have no control over where it goes. People, unfortunately, may judge you or come to have preconceived ideas about you based on that information. I'd rather have people know me for who I actually am rather than who they think I may be based on who I have or haven't slept with. I consider that information private anyway.

In the discussions where sexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc., have come up in these forums I have to say I've been a little disappointed in the ignorance that still persists. I would hope that some thoughtfulness, tolerance, and sensitivity would prevail. For those of you who understand: Thank you.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 139
view profile
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:59:23 AM

I'm just pointing out that there is no set answer to how someone comes to identify themself sexually. I'm convinced that life experiences and environment play as large a roll as biology.

I've heard this kind of story before and, while I will not dispute that person's experience, I will also point out that a number of young men are molested by older men and do not turn out gay. Whether the experience "turns" someone gay or not, or just introduces them to the idea sooner, or whether young men who seem like they might be gay are more often targeted, cannot be really answered. However, I've known a number of men in my life who were molested by relatives, priests, and in the boy scouts, who were completely heterosexual adults, so the experience does not turn *most* men gay. A counselor I know who works with men who were sexually abused as children confirms this.

Using that as a theory for someone becoming gay, it would not explain the number of lesbians I've known who were molested by men when they were young. Many of them point to it as an experience that turned them off to men. Did it? Then how would it explain the significant number of women who are heterosexual who were molested? In any individual's case this may be a factor, but the facts are that it does *not* appear to be a factor in the majority of cases.

The majority of us who are bisexual or gay do not point to some experience of childhood molestation as the cause of our orientation. We find that we are who we are in spite of society's reinforcement of something different. We do not feel a need to explain why we are the way we are any more than heterosexuals do. We merely would like to be able to love, or bed, those whom we wish without others insisting there is something wrong with us.

In another thread, a young woman asked about men who do not satisfy their lovers. I've known a number of frustrated "hetero" women who have seriously considered turning to other women precisely for this reason. This is rarely a problem between two women. However, for myself and most of the other bisexuals I've known, dissatisfaction was not what made us be who we are. We already knew who we are.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 140
view profile
Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:04:21 AM
I'd also like to add that the children of gay & lesbian parents do not turn out gay or lesbian any more than other children, perhaps sometimes to their parents' dismay. Having gay parents does not make you gay. So much for being able to recruit people into the ranks. I don't think you can "convert" someone, much as some people would like to think. Look at yourself. If you consider yourself solidly hetero, doesn't the idea of "switching" seem weird and unnatural? Same for us. I could ignore & suppress my attraction for one sex or another, but I couldn't *make* myself be attracted to someone I wasn't.
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