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 blueeyes1217
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 128
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
My daughter has a dead beat for a father and he makes her life worse by his coming and going.

It messes up her schedule and her little heart too, this is due to his ' on again off again' visits.

He needs to get his life cleaned up and then try to be a Real Dad.

K
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 129
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 1/25/2010 10:06:45 PM
NEW year... SAME mess with the ladies I see!! It's doesn't matter because the CHILD was robbed of a good oppournity before CONCEPTION!! A deadbeat dad+dumb ass mom=another fatherless CHILD! I can't understand why soooo many women get with overgrown BOYS and expect them to be MEN and Fathers of the YEAR just because they had a child(ren) with them!!

Of course NONE of this was thought of when all the sexxxing was going on!! It never does!!

Well guys...more single mothers for u to choose from...2010 should be a goooood year for U
 ErikaShae
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 130
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:11:47 PM
ignorance never settles a question.
 blueeyes1217
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 131
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 1/26/2010 10:42:03 AM
Well, thatsNOT my baby you are quite the jerk and probably one of the reason's we gals stay single/
 mcalgary
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 132
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is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 1/26/2010 11:17:22 AM

My daughter has a dead beat for a father and he makes her life worse by his coming and going.


I do think that if any parent is going to be involved it must be in, at least, some sort of regular basis. Coming and going confuses children way too much.
 supersara20
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 133
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 1/26/2010 11:28:39 AM
I say take him for child support before he leaves the city, which most not all but most dead beat dads do. Your daughter has evry right to be supported by both mother and father whether he likes it or not. Kids are expensive, I know mines three now. and thats not just living expensise what about when your daughter wants to go to post secondary scholing some extra saving would be real nice then *ding*ding* child support would truley help you out then save it! Keep him in or keep him out either way your daughter is going to know who raised her and who she can trust which by the sounds of it will be MOMMY!
 madman4u
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 134
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:59:06 PM
My question would be why have sex with a guy like that? ALOT of you women make bad choices in men then wonder why something happens...WHY would a child want a dead beat dad? GO to court and file for child support and get full custody of your child and move on. GOOD LUCK!
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 135
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/9/2012 8:46:39 PM
what else- I'm sorry, but I have major issues with this answer. In no way should a woman put up with this bs, make no mistake that is what it is.
The LAST thing that this op needs is for anyone to imply that this man can take her child, the idea is a joke. He barely sees the child and contributes practically nothing to support the child.
For the op, let me ease your mind. This clown would be laughed out of court dare he tried to take your child. The chances of that are practically nil anyway since he has thus far shown no indication that he wants the child.
Take him to court and make him pay child support. It takes two to have a child.
You can't make him be there, but you can make him support his child.
Let him know it's put up or shut up time.
Tell him you will work with him and give him every opportunity to see his child and do so.
Hopefully, he will.
If not, at least you will have child support.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 136
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/10/2012 5:52:56 AM
One really must question and understand the motivation or philosophy of the posters and the individuals when one reads and formulates their own opinions....

As to bamag68.....who in her own profile writes....
but NO momma's boys PLEASE, been there done that. If I can't be first, then why bother. I am a good person,


I think most would suggest they are good people....one wonders about the mommas boy....but then when one looks at the number of single mothers who do not work or do not work full time...or are still students...then perhaps that is a fair comment....but got to love the double standard some woman hold....She wants to be first...but with children herself...i doubt anyone who dates her will be themselves first?

My ex...in my opinion has been less than fully supportive...but even 25% of what one would expect of a ncp is better than nothing....or to allow or enable bits and pieces of parenting is far better than being in a position or being labeled as blocking the non custodial parent.
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 138
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:00:54 AM
Let him keep coming around when he "feels like it" perhaps as she gets older he'll find time with her to be more enjoyable. Face it, at three months, she doesn't DO much... Give him some time to step up. Even if he doesn't step up, kids are smart. They figure out pretty quickly who is and is not reliable. If he doesn't bond soon, he'll likely stop coming around eventually anyway.

As far as not changing her diaper... if this is his first child, you should maybe acknowledge his discomfort with that... it's not like he's around a lot so maybe he's worried about hurting her. Try to keep in mind, she is YOUR world... not his. He hasn't been given much time for bonding since he doesn't live with her.

BTW, he's the father. Unless he has done something to endanger her, telling him to "beat it" is not really an option you have.
 Bell30655
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 139
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:54:24 PM
The financial part has nothing to do with his ability to be a dad.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 140
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:39:51 PM
Tealwood- Let's stick to the subject at hand, shall we?!
The title of this thread is not 'let's nit pic bamagrls profile"
If you take issue with me, address it to me in a private message.
The op asked for advice about her situation and I gave it, whether or not she takes it is up to her.
 gaiaisnotthesameasvenus
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 141
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:55:50 AM
To be honest, he isn't interesting in parenting her. Your daughter doesn't need to feel bad because her father is unavailable. Don't put yourself down, either; you've taken full responsibility for your daughter's life, her morality, her every day needs, and her heart and mind. Just because society likes to guilt women into thinking their family is incomplete because there is no man in the picture, doesn't mean you have to adhere to it. You're strong and obviously so loving to your daughter as to give her bio-father the chance.

Best wishes.
 ScottBlack
Joined: 12/29/2010
Msg: 143
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/14/2012 10:52:04 PM
If its his first kid he probably has no clue what to do. I'm not saying he shouldn't make more effort, obviously he should. When he's there he might look clueless because he really is due to lack of experience.
 Cheifwarlord47
Joined: 3/10/2012
Msg: 144
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/18/2012 8:25:50 AM
that isnt a good father, thats a guy who mooches off your for hand outs. You'd be better off asking a radom woman at the supermarket to be your babysitter. If he doesnt change the diapers the child may develop a sore or possibly something worse. I'd find someone new.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 145
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/22/2012 9:27:59 AM
From what I've seen with my friends who are single moms I'd say emphatically, "No!" All it seems to do is get the child's hopes up, only to have them dashed again. Better to be completely absent than play mind games, however unintentional, with a child.
 jessrar9
Joined: 2/6/2012
Msg: 147
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/28/2012 4:14:00 PM

Her dad comes around when it's convienient for him, maybe a half hour, twice a week. He doesn't help me out financially and he wont even change her diaper


That's lots!!! My childs father comes around every 3 months for maybe half of an hour. File for child support if you have a problem with him not helping you out financially.
 Siks6
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 148
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/28/2012 5:25:02 PM

That's lots!!! My childs father comes around every 3 months for maybe half of an hour. File for child support if you have a problem with him not helping you out financially.

That's lots!!!
 jessrar9
Joined: 2/6/2012
Msg: 149
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/28/2012 7:03:25 PM
Siks6 are you saying that's lots to me or the OP? lol
 Siks6
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 150
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/28/2012 7:49:21 PM
Obviously to you since I quoted your line, did I not?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 151
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is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 3/31/2012 6:42:21 PM
but even 25% of what one would expect of a ncp is better than nothing....or to allow or enable bits and pieces of parenting is far better than being in a position or being labeled as blocking the non custodial parent


As far as I am concerned, it's the effect that the parent(ing) or time/lack of same has on the children that matter. It's not about any "position" the cp may be in nor their expectations, it's about the position and expectations of the kids. Far too many parents seem to be more worried about themselves in the equation, likely the reason that the kids fall by the wayside when decisions (and cs payments, btw) are being made. Once the kids reach a certain age they will make their own decisions, until then a cp need weigh the benefits against any potential harm, and act accordingly, often swallowing their pride & often reaching into their pockets whilst keeping their lips closed.
 xxJasminxx
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 152
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 4/1/2012 2:45:04 AM
Wow, first night on the forums and Im disgusted, all I hear is women talking about the men they CHOSE to father their children without a second thought about the child they claim to now want to protect from him. Im a single mother, no Im not the biggest fan of my husbands right now, but my god when will you women ever take responsibility for your own damn choices? We need a licence to drive a car FFS! You people need your heads examined and your tubes tied, the things Ive read are disgusting, knowing men like this exist is deplorable, yet I cannot skip past the fact that the women who give their children the worst start in life by falling pregnant to them then want pity for it, you all act proud by chosing the bigger mongrel, you need to be ashamed not vocal! These cards werent dealt to you, you asked for them, your children are the only victims of your down right stupidity, grow up before your kids become the same pathetic existances!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 153
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 4/3/2012 8:20:32 PM
Wow, first night on the forums and Im disgusted, all I hear is women talking about the men they CHOSE to father their children without a second thought about the child they claim to now want to protect from him. Im a single mother, no Im not the biggest fan of my husbands right now, but my god when will you women ever take responsibility for your own damn choices? We need a licence to drive a car FFS! You people need your heads examined and your tubes tied, the things Ive read are disgusting, knowing men like this exist is deplorable, yet I cannot skip past the fact that the women who give their children the worst start in life by falling pregnant to them then want pity for it, you all act proud by chosing the bigger mongrel, you need to be ashamed not vocal! These cards werent dealt to you, you asked for them, your children are the only victims of your down right stupidity, grow up before your kids become the same pathetic existances!


It's Tuesday.....I'm in love

A deadbeat dad will show the kids how to be deadbeat parents. In essence; you would be creating your own legacy. (passing the torch)

 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 154
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 4/3/2012 11:29:43 PM

. Im a single mother, no Im not the biggest fan of my husbands right now,


So would that make you just as pathetic as the women you are ranting about?
 neuvofitness
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 155
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History
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 4/3/2012 11:40:07 PM
Children dont come with instructions. Aside from showing love and financial support, what exactly do you expect from the father?
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