Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 190
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
juicyfruit83 on 7/1/2006 1036 PM
Subject: is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Message: I'm a first time mom of a 3 month old baby girl, who is my world . Her dad comes around when it's convienient for him, maybe a half hour, twice a week. He doesn't help me out financially and he wont even change her diaper. When he is with her I can tell that he loves her but he doesn't do any of the stuff a dad is suppose to do. Is it better to let him be around when it is convienient for him or should I tell him to beat it? I don't want to deny my daughter of her dad but I also don't want her to get hurt from his lack of being a father.

^^^^Want to put everyones focus on the real origin of this thread!
My opinion juicyfruit is to set some very clear boundaries for this guy when it comes to being around your child. Being a parent is a privelledge emotionally, but an obligation legally. Make sure that this guy is not confusing the two responsibilities and using your emotions right now for his adavantage. Better a fairy tale (deceased) Dad than a dead beat emotionally manipulating man in your child's life!
Just my opion though....Any man worth his salt will step up...or hopefully step aside if he can't hack it.
Tough spot..I have been there...done that...My advice is to enjoy your lil one and find the joy and acertain the future sooner than later.
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 191
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 9/5/2012 8:01:53 AM
No one needs a deadbeat Dad or Mother in their child's life. If he/she isn't contributing, show them the door. The childs needs a good role model, regardless of gender. If you are a unemployed deadbeat who doesn't support your kids, but are capable of don't belong in the childs life.
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 192
view profile
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 9/5/2012 6:28:24 PM
as opposed to the single mother who is unable to pay her own way and still whines about what she does not collect from her ex.

Not being able to pay your own way, as you put it, doesn't absolve your child's other parent from their responsibility. Chances are that that other parent was well aware that you were incapable of supporting yourself, much less a child, yet they still chose to have one with you. More likely than not, that other parent, agreed, by word, action, or both, to support you. Either way, one has little to do with the absolute right of any parent to expect their child's other parent to contribute. Do you really believe that, in the cases of which you speak, the ex who doesn't pay cs is willing to take on the responsibility of their children? More likely than not, no, they are not. They don't support them and they are not willing to raise them or take on the responsibility of a cp. You continually compare apples to oranges, and it simply doesn't work.

And then you got poor saps like Cappy….shared 50/50 custody and he is still paying cs….because his ex is not required and does not feel it is her responsibility to also hold down gainful employment

While I wouldn't exactly call Cappy a "poor sap", undoubtedly he contributed far more than 50% to the expenses of his family prior to the split. His ex is not required to do more than what was agreed upon by THE TWO OF THEM prior to the split, in fairness to their children. We don't, regardless of what you post, have any idea what his ex feels. Honestly, even if she is wrong & he is b*tching about it, I see in Cappy what is more the norm: he would provide anyway, he would simply bi!ch less if it were chosen rather than forced upon him. More of us than not acknowledge our responsibility, sacrifice so our kids don't have to & provide to the best of our ability. Certainly, we b!tch, but that is our right. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 193
is a deadbeat dad better then no dad at all?
Posted: 9/5/2012 7:01:01 PM
Just like a boy have to grow into manhood & some men are just still boys. And a man that have a baby dont make them a father.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >