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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?      Home login  
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 *****Covet*****
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 26
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)



Just my opinion but 22 years is a big difference. Men do mature slower then women and this type of relationship can initially be fun for both. But when it comes time to relate and respect each others opinions and outlooks... age WILL get in the way. A man that much older will not take you or your suggestions serious. After all, in his mind-he is older and wiser, what could you possibly know? In the end he will be the only one having all the fun and you will be miserable because your needs will not be met.
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/7/2007 11:48:49 AM
I think you need to be asking yourself some key happiness questions here...what period of your life are you in? Are you into clubbing or partying as so many 20 year olds and beyond still are? Is he into what you are into? If you are in 2 seperate places in your lives? If you are, you will fail or be miserable and that isn't worth it. Do you want children of your own? If you do, is he willing to start out with little ones at his age? If you can't agree on this one, again, not the right relationship. Do you have common interests because you could very well be living a generation apart?
I am sure you see where I am going with this. If there are some real compatibility issues, I would say steer clear...but if there aren't, go for it girl- you never know who your heart might love! I personally tend to get along better with me who are 15+ years older than me so I would see no issue in it!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 28
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:34:29 PM
If we got on, then fine. If we didn't, then not fine. The same would apply to dating someone 10 years younger, or my own age, or any age older.

State of health can be an issue, but unfortunately, nowadays, people who are young are also likely to get serious diseases and get in mortal accidents just like old people do. Many people I know, lived into their late 80s and beyond, in great health.

To sum it up: Compatibility is an issue. Age is not.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 29
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:44:30 PM
Dating? No worries. He could be very good for you, and you for him. An Older Guy (tm) is often looking for something quite different than a young man. Learn all you can from him and let him take delight in you. It could be fabulous!

Marriage & kids? You might not want to go there with him; he might not want to go there with you. If you both understand that he's going to be pretty far along in life when the kids are teenagers, and you choose to go there anyway, people have made far worse choices.

Now, I wonder what people would say if it was a guy dating a woman 22 years his senior! But I guess that's another thread! LOL
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 30
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:58:14 PM
Can_handle,

Dude, I don't think you're handling this one all that well. Sure it's upsetting to think that a precious daughter might be bamboozled into giving it up for some jerk who doesn't love her. I don't care if he's 16 or 60, if someone were to hurt a daughter of mine like that I'd want to do something about it!

However, flying off the handle about it isn't likely to be very effective. In fact, for some girl who's being rebellious, knowing that she could really get up her dad's nose by "exploring her sexuality" might be just the thing to lure her into it.

No. I think we've got to play it a little smarter than that. How do you instill such a strong sense of self-worth in a daughter that she won't put up with any nonsense from a guy? How do you help her understand how to figure out for herself when & how it will be right for her to be with someone--even if it doesn't work out?

And perhaps more relevant to you and me, since we're guys, how do we train our boys and work with other men to make it clear that "scoring" really isn't the thing? How do we instill such self-respect in our young men that when their hormones are totally raging they can still love, be loving toward, and continue to respect the girls that do choose to be with them--even if things don't work out?

Something to think about. Now, back to the OP's topic.
 OU8one
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 31
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/22/2007 7:36:56 PM
... Well I didn't read where everyone was from who contributed to this thread, but one thing is evident.... what I'll call typical (american / canadian) mentality suggests all these stupid rules about age differences....a sort of closed minded hillbilly attitude about whats right and wrong... while most of the rest of the planet are OK with big age differences as long as its legal and moral... if two intelligent adult people want to get together, why shud her buck toothed hillbilly dad with a shotgun in is hand have any say?... he probably married his cousin anyway!!!
 addakiss
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 32
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:20:44 PM
I THINK I WOULD PERFER AN OLDER MAN THAN A PUPPY.SORRY NOT TRYING TO PISS ANYONE OFF. JUST WOULD RATHER BE TAUGHT THEN HAVE TO TEACH............
ADDAKISS
 jillin2you
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 33
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/22/2007 10:15:01 PM
I dated a man 16 years older than me and it has ruined me to want to date younger men. To me personally they seem to be further along in life and for the most part are finished with all the bullshit.

I am not saying that there are not wonderful younger men out there, I am sure there is!
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 34
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:25:30 AM
At my age, 22 years older would mean he is 75! Now don't get me wrong, I love working as a caregiver for seniors. My reality is that I want to grow old with someone, not start our relationship with the worry that he may only be looking for a nursemaid.

My parents were 14 years apart in age, with my father being the oldest. They had a pretty solid marriage, with a few bumps along the road, but their union never got to stand the test of time as mom was taken away from us at 45 with cancer. I still have the letter that my maternal grandfather wrote to my dad, in which he rather begrudgingly gave his consent for him to marry my mom. My grandparents had listened to both sides and actually flew here to meet the future son-in-law, before finally realizing that my mother's mind was made up and that my dad made her happy.
To put this into their perspective, my dad was only 12 years younger than they were and so they considered him to be of their generation.
 LickettySplit
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 35
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/24/2007 12:17:57 PM

You're a beautiful girl, you can do way better.


vagabond: Better than what??


But im sure dude has money so you should do whatever feels right.


And this? So basically what you're saying, without actually stepping up, is the OP is a gold digger??

Let me get this straight... you just stopped by to throw some back-handed insult to older guys and younger women who want to date them? Thanks for the intelligent insightful input.

____

As far as the topic goes, I'd have to agree with about half of you. If there is a connection between the two and some real chemistry is going on, then how can there be anything wrong with it?
 Robert12345678
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 36
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:48:13 PM
There are issues you need to be aware of in a Spring-Fall relationship. But having said that and both love each other, that is ultimately what matters. My first wife is 10 years younger than me. She is 55. I run circles around her. I love her immensely. My aunt's husband was 25 years older and their marriage was awesome. After he passed away, she never got married again until she too passed away. Too many times people are so hung up on age, they still have pictures of their parents in their mind. People live much longer and can be in in good shape if they pay attention. In my case I am 65 and run marathons, play sports, go backpacking and have a great sex life.
 ~Scoundrel~
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 37
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:54:47 PM
I'm dating a girl now that is 19 (27 years younger than myself). The only people that seem to have an issue with it is middle aged women who haven't taken good care of themselves and young men in their early to mid 20s. But, all that is just sour grapes.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 38
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 10/18/2008 9:07:32 PM
As a much older person, I would advise against this. However, they may be exceptions.

The stats say that a couple will have more success if they are within a 3-5 year age range.

I read your profile. nice and straight forward.

You are young, smart and pretty. GO for what you want.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 39
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 3/30/2011 4:05:31 AM
I've had great times when I have dated much younger than myself and was actually surprised to have had as much to talk about... there didn't feel to be any significant age difference. But I always view it as a short term dating relationship because often there are things that she needs to experience that I can't give... like having her own children as an example.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 40
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 3/31/2011 5:03:27 AM
I would have cautioned against it previous to finally dating my current GF....She's 22, I'm 44, Now that I got over the age thing, I can say it's been great!
 Malaree
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 41
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/10/2011 6:49:09 PM
I think it is alright if you are really in love with him. Haha, I have fallen in love with a man 24 years older than me, and it really sucks a lot, logic has told me that, well, I wouldn't be able to have a family with him, he will be too tired out by the time they are teenagers ha. My grandchildren would never meet him, and so many other factors, yet my feelings for him were soo difficult to push away. Most of society (esp my family) looks down upon me choosing to date an older guy. But who cares what they think.
 Malaree
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 42
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/10/2011 7:51:17 PM
I personally would rather stick to my age group.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 43
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/11/2011 5:52:14 AM
seems kinda creepy dating someone who is old enough to be your mother or father.
 tifftaurus1970
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 44
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/12/2011 6:12:42 PM
I very encouraged by the mature responders here. I met and fell in love with a man 20 years ago. He was 22 yrs my senior. We would connect here and there thru the years, each time, he was wrapped up in something or I was. Today, we reconnected again. The fire is still there, the trust is stronger than before. I want to be his one and only, no man could ever compare to him for me. He had me at Hello when I was 20, a mess and full of ambition. Now I'm 41 and ready to be a wife. He's 62 and I think he's sexy, he treats me like a queen, what more could I want?
In regards to what family says, my mother will be worried, but she has always known how I felt about this man, so she will support me. My true friends and brothers and daughters family will be supportive. Even if it caused them discomfort, why would it matter, its my happiness that matters and I am ready to live my life without apology's and explanations. Being honest with your feelings will make you happier, I believe. I'd say go for it! Love is deeper than physicallity, and visual, its trust and unconditional love and chemistry that matters.
As far as his family, we shall see, but I don't expect anything huge. I know his son and daughter and we have always been on good terms. So I hide my profile today and I hope the next update is a testimony to love outside the box! Namaste
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 45
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/12/2011 9:50:30 PM
I think it is too much of an age difference personally.
I need someone to be my peer, not my patriarchal figure.
If you feel that this will be good for you than go ahead, I wish you well.
I am not sure why you are asking this question though if you have everything figured out.
If you are having second thoughts just because of what other people say, I would dismiss that and make your own kind of music.

 mac213
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 46
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/14/2011 10:34:55 AM
It doesn't have to be abouit the money, some women just like older men, If she can deal with him, and they are doing well, why change it.
 mac213
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 47
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/14/2011 10:39:14 AM
Young lady, i know just how you feel. I have always dated younger women. Well, not always. But I think that it is your happiness that counts. And again you are not 20 again. So if you finally found someone who treats you right, go for it. I am sure that you have had your ups and downs with us men out here.
 mac213
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 48
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/14/2011 10:47:09 AM
Can handle, you are so right. It is not about the sex. And it is a fact that a lot of older guys are having more sex than the younger ones, they are too busy smoking weed, getting high, drinking and disrespecting their women. Older men have been there and done that and they are usually looking for true relationships, take it from me. I Know.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 49
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Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/15/2011 7:26:07 PM
I just dated someone who was 15 years my junior. Strange.... We actually got along fine.
 jeannie5488
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 50
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 6/17/2011 10:39:39 PM
The men on here who say "get someone your own age" are just upset because you do not choose to be with "them," and they are your age! But, in spite of that comment, the age difference will eventually catch up to you.

My ex-husband was 20 years older, but I met him when I was 23, and he was 43..and a very young 43. He was always active and in good shape. In fact, he still is today. I did marry him, but it definitely was not because he was rich. He was intelligent and professional, but not rich. In fact, I carried the relationship to a greater extent. In any event, after 8 or 9 years, we started to grow apart. It happens. The age difference is too great, and will eventually lead to separation.
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