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 brewswain
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 975
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U S girl see and want more than most man can get for them the want to be rich and live that life. And they are never happy want just a little more.

^^^^^ Welll now...guess THAT sums us all up. WHEW!

islgirl, he is right!
How many times have YOU divorced men and why cant YOU find a man?
(i know, I know, you are going to blame all men for you being single).
But like the above quote, you can never get enough to be happy.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 976
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Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:32:42 PM
Okay this is just a general post, not directed at any poster.

A common enough theme on the threads is the seeking or wanting to lay blame. Who's fault is it...if it were a board game noone would play it. I've really thought about it a lot, myself and it does seem to be a convenient and maybe even human tendency. One that thankfully I've learned or tried my best to avoid. Why...there is no benefit. It doesn't help to figure out who's to blame or who's at fault. Doesn't help in any way to move toward a solution or resolution.

Many times the finger of blame is pointed outward when it should be pointed inward. I'll own up to that myself. And I'm much more excited and motivated towards moving on to making things different as best as I can. Blame/fault I picture as a "dead weight" that tends to keep one still IN the same situation. The wheels spin, but there's no forward movement or progress.

Many of us have had bad relationships and good ones and they ended for a myriad of reasons. We can choose to stay stuck because it's someone else's fault which would mean we are powerless to make any changes or improve our future. I don't like that myself...it's unacceptable.

Everyone has the "right" if you will to try to find what they feel, believe or think will make them happy. And that's what they should persue, regardless of what anyone else who pokes their nose into their life tries to dissuade them from or tell them differently.

Persue and seek out what makes you happy, at least if you're moving in that direction, you won't be stuck in a rut, wheels spinning.
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 977
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:41:52 PM
Sad sigh. NO...brew..he is NOT correct. Not by a long shot.. He is simply (simple-mindedly) GENERALIZING due to very personal jaded opinions. A shame. Happens alot.

Jaded....alot of baggage...alot of "all", "they all", blahblah. PULEEZE!

Wanna make this personal?
OK...I have had ONE divorce. (VERY amicable...does exchanging gifts every Xmas count??Dinners with his wife, parties together,etc....?)
Zero alimony, all things split 50-50 and joint custody of sons...no problemo.

Past relationship...one died.
One...a rebound.
And...so? here I am. So what?
Not a whit of bitterness....not an element of blame.
Life is short. "Forever" does not exist except in one's own fantasy.

Get over it.
I AM happy. Very. And that is what I would LOVE to SHARE with someone special...happiness. And from what I have read on these forums..I am not unusual.

Sheesh. Lose that negative crap...just makes you feel bad and hopeless.
And does nothing for that great woman out there who just might be "the one"...just never know, now do ya!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 978
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Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:04:36 PM
"islgirl, he is right!
How many times have YOU divorced men and why cant YOU find a man?
(i know, I know, you are going to blame all men for you being single).
But like the above quote, you can never get enough to be happy." Well someone just stepped in it....someone who's also divorced...*snicker* and single and looking and hasn't found a woman. And how is it that makes you any different?

Heck I'm divorced too...and widowed. The first marriage ended because of violence...domestic abuse as they "label" it getting out of that saved my life. The second...too obvious to even mention.

Watch what you're stepping in and where your fingers are pointing I'd change shoes...you pretty well shot yourself in the foot on that one.
 armedhippie
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 979
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:07:11 PM
I suppose many of you gentlemen here have never been overseas. I would feel pretty stupid paying someone to get a "bride" when all you have to do is go there, and utter these simple words.."Would you like to live in the United States?" SHEESH.....
 FTWFella
Joined: 7/20/2007
Msg: 980
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:13:50 PM
" all you have to do is go there, and utter these simple words.."Would you like to live in the United States?" SHEESH....."

Yes - EXACTLY - then we don't have to put up with selfish - self-centered American women...

Fella
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 981
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:16:20 PM
I guess it was felt stange and wuiet upsetin when I made clear in my previous posts that I am a lady from Russia and unfortunatelly had some bad dating experiences with datin. I got some offensive remarks in terms that I am anothe mail-in. bride, Illegal mexican immigrant and I am here for marrige.

I would kindly ask you for a permission to put my 2 cents in here but not every woman who is from Russia, Ukraine, the Philipines, China is a mail-in-bride. Period.

Please do not put a label on those ladies even if your nationality is different from yours. Please accept that it is is for the majority of individuals who take their naturalization Oath it is indeed a very special moment. Yes, I do have a Russian accent (and it could be gall0-phillipino, mandarin-chineese). I I think most of us could be (or at least try) to to do the best to learn English.
 Jacque_29
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 982
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:31:30 PM
I'm sorry. Does that help guys?

Your right beereel, I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.

Are we honestly blaming women for divorce now? The men probably had something to do with it too. Teenagers thinking it's love when it's lust and having a child that the state will wind up paying for because niether parent has a decent education to get a job and support it. They fight over money and how he's never home to spend time with her and the child that HE and SHE made together. That's how the US got such a high divorce rate. Then smart women who go to college and get great jobs with insurance can't find a decent man because he doesn't want an educated, hard working woman, he wants a stay at home mom that doesn't realize just how hard it is in THE REAL WORLD. I learned a long time ago not to depend on everyone else to get what I want. Everyone should have to work for everything they get. That includes men who want someone to love them. If you don't work for it, and I'm not talking about buying it, you don't deserve it.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 984
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Posted: 9/26/2007 10:02:50 PM

And does nothing for that great woman out there who just might be "the one"...just never know, now do ya!

Slightly misguided^^ me thinks.
SO, the emphasis is now on "if guys would just shut up and do as we women say do, everything would be fine". IOW, a man is wrong if he thinks there's something "more" attractive about women from other countries. I've had experience to travel to some of the locales that men seek MOB's and I've witnessed first hand how things operate. There is a reasonable and definate lineage as to why men are seeking relationships outside of the American womens realm. It's because of the vast numbers of changes that have taken place in this Country, regarding men/women, and the "advancement" of said Western women. In truth, many MOB's might enjoy getting in on that action, as they're not privy to the same "treatment", if you will, that American women here demand. Easily, though, there are a great number of foreign women who are more than willing to give up their Country, to have a life in the US, with an American man . I believe they've found a valuable resource because they "see" the changes our country has endured and have shown themselves to be more capable of a sustainable relationship with American men, because their demand list is much shorter.

A sibling of mine (degreed professional) is married, has a full time job, with a stay home wife, who flatly refuses to A) clean house, and B) hire a housemaid. He's stuck. I dont' know why he hasn't left her, except that she's threatened to disallow his contact with his kids if he ever left or divorced her. I could go on but, IMO, THAT is why a lot of guys are seeking MOB's.
Life-of-leisure, you're always a hard shoe to follow.

When word gets around that women are picking up men in the detergent aisle, you can bet men will quickly become experts in all things detergent. Time to put up or shut up
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 986
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Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 1:34:13 AM

(Msg 1108) Girls want to take on some of the role of the man, but not the ones they dont like. They want to have careers and make as much money as the men. However they dont want to support the men, even though they make enough money to so (which men do all the time).


Good point. I've never seen a profile say "looking for a house hubby". Hmmmm


(Msg 1127) To hear you gals go on and on about this, one would suppose you'd be cruising laundromats for dates, cause obviously the guys you'll find there on a Saturday morning know how to do laundry………………….When word gets around that women are picking up men in the detergent aisle, you can bet men will quickly become experts in all things detergent. Time to put up or shut up..


That certainly put a new spin on things and a whole new meaning when I hear that voice on the Wal-Mart intercom say, "Pick-up in Isle 7".
 BeeReel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 987
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:45 AM

Your right beereel, I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.


You make me feel so special. I take care of a house (chores, laundry, cooking, cats, etc), school, and a job... I dont need a woman to do these things for me. But I just want a woman to pick a role and stick with it. If she wants to be the one to bring home the bread fine. If she wants to do the chores thats fine too. Im flexible. Im just sick of the double standard. We make the money it goes to the family. Women make the money and it goes to shoes and new jewelry (I know Im generalizing). Then they complain that the man isnt taking care of them. I hate to say it, but if a woman has a job making enough money to support a family and they arent; they might as well be taking that money from another family. Im sure to some of you this sounds sexist.... SORRY! Just another reason why mail order brides are a viable choice for men in the states and western world. This way a man can actually have a partner and not just a competetor.
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 988
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:35:00 AM

I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.
yawn

This mantra, repeated often enough, becomes self-fulfilling prophesy. Notice how repeating it nearly assures you that you will still be doing the housework, just as you're doing it now, with or without an assistant.

Funny, if I had a fairly cheery partner, irrespective of the language she spoke, I'd probably jump right in with the work...as long as there's time for play. After all, all housework and no play makes Schadenfreudian a dull, morose, and looking-for-love-overseas kinda guy. ;)
 dowadiddy
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 989
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 6:17:29 PM
Just joking all u beautifull Canadian women out there . I am just trying to find some different flavours .
 Jacque_29
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 990
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:44:33 PM
Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her. Of coarse that's why American women are being bashed, is because they can do it all. Gee, we sound so useless compared to foreign women.

Freudian, try using some of Freuds logic. If you don't speak the same language you will never actually know her. She could be laughing at you which wouldn't be considered love. Try a little logic in your next post.

Mane, I do have some advice for your sibling. Take pictures of how she keeps the house for court. More and more men are getting their kids in today's society. I know there are terrible women out there that do nothing and it's why I can't find a decent hardworking guy. I don't care if it's in the house or shoveling manure. Everyone has to do something. I have a theory that any hard working, decent American will wind up with a lazy American because the hard working ones are few and far between in todays society. What the men on this site don't realize is that women have to put up with the same kind of men. Women get used too and it's becoming to where it's more women than men who have to put up with it or live without.

All work and no play makes women stay single.
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 991
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:14:11 PM
Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her. Of coarse that's why American women are being bashed, is because they can do it all. Gee, we sound so useless compared to foreign women.

Well then that changes things.
Oh wait! The guys interested in a overseas bride are single too. Hmmmmmmm
That must mean that they do it all too. well now what could they be searching for. Maybe they are trying to get away from the attitudes.
 2 girls short of a 3some
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 992
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:19:50 AM

Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her.


so you are more than capable of carrying a 100 + pound refridgerator up a flight of stairs by yourself ?



I don't care if it's in the house or shoveling manure. Everyone has to do something.


can not fault this logic at all - in fact I agree whole heartadly
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 993
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:44:33 AM
I think most American men look for a wife from another country because he wants companionship and quite possibly a family also. Yeah, I wouldn't advise a 30-year age difference, but most of these guys want a woman whose reproductive years aren't over. And if the foreign lady has kids, well, then when he brings her (and the kids) over, at least the kids' dad won't come around, and that can be good if he's an a**hole. While it's a good idea to get along with your in-laws, if you don't and you marry a foreign woman, they won't be here either!


As some women have stated in previous posts, they wouldn't go for the guys who go for mail-order brides. Well, there you go! Why would these guys want to waste their time chasing women who consider them too old, too short, too bald, too whatever?
 swamp thing
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 994
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:47:38 AM
What the women are saying here is that the mail order gals won't want us, either, nobody will, ever, so give it up or make a fool of yourself. The idea has caught on universally that some men are just way beyond the reach of any other woman's love besides your own mother, and even that, it turns out, is highly suspect. The dream of being loved is crushed in this thread where so many women have come along to explain plainly why it is an impossibility. The world has shrink, computers replace paper mail, internet dating has done away with mail order brides and the scant hope they allowed. Now it is one big global cluster**** of unworthy men with no place on Earth left to imagine a woman for them. Not at a distance, not in a different culture, nothing, no luck, ever, or anywhere. Time to give up the idea and settle into an obscure and unloved life, as nature intended in this competition of reproductive foolishness.
 MsSquirrly
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 995
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:38:31 AM
aww swampy, I still love ya but man, am I glad I am not an american woman.
 BeeReel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 996
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:25:19 AM

internet dating has done away with mail order brides and the scant hope they allowed.


Untrue! The internet has made it easier than ever! I think thats the reason so many women are flaming this thread. If anyone wants some URLs of good sites let me know!


Now it is one big global cluster**** of unworthy men with no place on Earth left to imagine a woman for them. Not at a distance, not in a different culture, nothing, no luck, ever, or anywhere. Time to give up the idea and settle into an obscure and unloved life, as nature intended in this competition of reproductive foolishness.


There are always real dolls!

I think you hit the nail on the head at the beginning of your post...
What the women are saying here
That just about sums it up! Do you really think there are going to be ANY women who are well-wishers here? I think mail order brides are a facinating topic. I wont say Im perfect. Im sure I have flaws. But one thing I have realized is that a good attitude is beautiful. I have met girls that were overweight that I enjoyed being around so much that I overlooked it. I have also met girls that had gorgeous bodies but their attitudes were so repulsive that I wanted to puke. Sometimes all you need is a positive attitude. You can say that MOBs wont work... You could say they will work. Things work more often when you want them to.
 swamp thing
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 997
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 9:01:29 AM
There have been well-wishers here, and they throw me off my timing as I rant.

 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 999
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Posted: 9/28/2007 9:20:36 AM
Shybynature,

Freudian, try using some of Freuds logic. If you don't speak the same language you will never actually know her. She could be laughing at you which wouldn't be considered love. Try a little logic in your next post.

When you consider that 80% of our communication is non-verbal (body language/gestures/eye contact/tone of voice/etc.), it hardly stands to reason that a laguage barrier even exist.
There aren't too many posters to this thread who exemplify logic quite like FreudianSchadan. It's remarks, such as this ^^^^^^^, that perpetuate men seeking MOB's.
I believe his statement, regarding self-fulfilling prophecies, is on the mark. You can argue men won't help you clean, but restating it isn't changing that fact. And like Life-of-Leisure stated, when men find out women are picking up men in the detergent isle, you can bet men will become experts in all things detergent.
But this isn't about house cleaning, really. It's about attitudes of western women. It's also about how many women are "large and in charge". The BMI ratio (weight/height ratio) has increased significantly. This has been a significant factor as to why men are seeking women from other Countries. Iv'e traveled and know how women in such places as Costa Rica, Colombia, and Brazil manage to maintain very trim waist. Why is this so different in our Country? I know what's made a super-sized climate of people in this Country - do you? This epidemic , coupled with bittered/entitled/demeaning attitudes women have towards men, today, as promulgated by our media, is all part and parcel as to why men are looking for brides from other cultures. It's because changes have taken place here, in this Country, which men refuse to accept anymore, and since our Legislators and feminist groups are in bed together, it doesn't help for us to complain or ask for change. it's not going to change unless more women decide for it to change.
 jeeprennie
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 1001
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:28:12 AM
Do they come by courier or parcel post? How do they keep them fresh while they're in the mail? Can you return them if they arrive broken or with pieces missing?
 little_mermaid
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 1002
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 12:26:10 PM
Shaden freud has it right..whomever is shouting there mantra(male or female) that is most assuredly what they are going to find. Even if they decide to go over seas.
So make sure your mantra is really what you want not what you don't want.

A real feminist woman doesn't need to bash anyone over there head with there I can do it all and burn my bras at the same time, mentality. She can wear a fabulous push up bras, get the kids to school, go to work or get the house under control and she does it because she loves her family. Has a partnership. She just does it. Does everyone get credit when it's due?? Not always but still these things need to be done.

Neither does a real man need to be in charge or control 24/7. Or feel less then because he is with a woman who is strong or independant or makes more money then he does.
He should be proud of her. Proud of himself for being with the right partner. Where they each bring balance to relationship and family.

Perhaps that man has a better connection with the kids?? He is more the nurturer and she is more the bread winner. Are either of these people better than the other one???

No not hardly.
 2 girls short of a 3some
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 1003
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:05:52 PM
Manerider

<div class="quote">It's because changes have taken place here, in this Country, which men refuse to accept anymore, and since our Legislators and feminist groups are in bed together, it doesn't help for us to complain or ask for change. it's not going to change unless more women decide for it to change.


ooooh they changed it alright for you --- these two groups gave you IMBRA

wanderingspirit


Actually I can..called a large dolly. Have one downstairs in the basement, and a almost 16 yr old son who will help me.


you still have a male (albeit a younger one ) helping you there by your own admission

you know males - designed by nature to be stronger larger etc and do those sorts of things
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