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 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 981
Mail order bridesPage 41 of 46    (6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46)
I guess it was felt stange and wuiet upsetin when I made clear in my previous posts that I am a lady from Russia and unfortunatelly had some bad dating experiences with datin. I got some offensive remarks in terms that I am anothe mail-in. bride, Illegal mexican immigrant and I am here for marrige.

I would kindly ask you for a permission to put my 2 cents in here but not every woman who is from Russia, Ukraine, the Philipines, China is a mail-in-bride. Period.

Please do not put a label on those ladies even if your nationality is different from yours. Please accept that it is is for the majority of individuals who take their naturalization Oath it is indeed a very special moment. Yes, I do have a Russian accent (and it could be gall0-phillipino, mandarin-chineese). I I think most of us could be (or at least try) to to do the best to learn English.
 Jacque_29
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 982
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:31:30 PM
I'm sorry. Does that help guys?

Your right beereel, I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.

Are we honestly blaming women for divorce now? The men probably had something to do with it too. Teenagers thinking it's love when it's lust and having a child that the state will wind up paying for because niether parent has a decent education to get a job and support it. They fight over money and how he's never home to spend time with her and the child that HE and SHE made together. That's how the US got such a high divorce rate. Then smart women who go to college and get great jobs with insurance can't find a decent man because he doesn't want an educated, hard working woman, he wants a stay at home mom that doesn't realize just how hard it is in THE REAL WORLD. I learned a long time ago not to depend on everyone else to get what I want. Everyone should have to work for everything they get. That includes men who want someone to love them. If you don't work for it, and I'm not talking about buying it, you don't deserve it.
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 983
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Mail order brides
Posted: 9/26/2007 8:41:30 PM
> Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.

To hear you gals go on and on about this, one would suppose you'd be cruising laundromats for dates, cause obviously the guys you'll find there on a Saturday morning know how to do laundry. I've been buying cleaning supplies and mops and other such mundane items on occasion for quite a few years now, and never have I been pounced upon by hoards of women and snatched out of that aisle at Wal-Mart. From the way this topic has gone on and on forever, you'd think I'd be worth my weight in gold or platinum, cause I'm obviously about the only guy on the planet who knows how to clean. (Would you believe I even own a sewing machine and know how to use it? You should see the looks I get when buying fabric for some project -- it's like I'm a freak or something.)

In terms of women's observed behavior, a guy's ability to do household chores is insignificant in the mate selection process. It's just one more think women b1tch needlessly about, when all they'd have to do is select for a guy who has the qualities you want. It's really that easy. When word gets around that women are picking up men in the detergent aisle, you can bet men will quickly become experts in all things detergent. Time to put up or shut up. </rant>
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 984
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Posted: 9/26/2007 10:02:50 PM

And does nothing for that great woman out there who just might be "the one"...just never know, now do ya!

Slightly misguided^^ me thinks.
SO, the emphasis is now on "if guys would just shut up and do as we women say do, everything would be fine". IOW, a man is wrong if he thinks there's something "more" attractive about women from other countries. I've had experience to travel to some of the locales that men seek MOB's and I've witnessed first hand how things operate. There is a reasonable and definate lineage as to why men are seeking relationships outside of the American womens realm. It's because of the vast numbers of changes that have taken place in this Country, regarding men/women, and the "advancement" of said Western women. In truth, many MOB's might enjoy getting in on that action, as they're not privy to the same "treatment", if you will, that American women here demand. Easily, though, there are a great number of foreign women who are more than willing to give up their Country, to have a life in the US, with an American man . I believe they've found a valuable resource because they "see" the changes our country has endured and have shown themselves to be more capable of a sustainable relationship with American men, because their demand list is much shorter.

A sibling of mine (degreed professional) is married, has a full time job, with a stay home wife, who flatly refuses to A) clean house, and B) hire a housemaid. He's stuck. I dont' know why he hasn't left her, except that she's threatened to disallow his contact with his kids if he ever left or divorced her. I could go on but, IMO, THAT is why a lot of guys are seeking MOB's.
Life-of-leisure, you're always a hard shoe to follow.

When word gets around that women are picking up men in the detergent aisle, you can bet men will quickly become experts in all things detergent. Time to put up or shut up
 FlexinNC
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 985
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Posted: 9/26/2007 10:36:34 PM
Hey, different strokes for different folks. Yes, there are some women out there in other countries that will use a man, just to get a visa, but then again, there are a lot of women here, who use us too. I have dated a couple of women from other countries, who were visiting the USA and I found both to be highly intelligent, educated and cultured, much more so than the typical American (male or female). I also have a couple of friends who did the mail order thing. Both ended up marrying women fr0m the "Eastern Block" (one from Russia, one from Ukraine). Both are very happy and the relationships are still going strong after more than eight years.

Sure, it is a small sample. There are certainly exceptions, but then again, love is where you find it. If you find it in Russia, Korea, Brazil or next door, it won't matter. What will matter is building a great relationship that will last a life time.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 986
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Posted: 9/27/2007 1:34:13 AM

(Msg 1108) Girls want to take on some of the role of the man, but not the ones they dont like. They want to have careers and make as much money as the men. However they dont want to support the men, even though they make enough money to so (which men do all the time).


Good point. I've never seen a profile say "looking for a house hubby". Hmmmm


(Msg 1127) To hear you gals go on and on about this, one would suppose you'd be cruising laundromats for dates, cause obviously the guys you'll find there on a Saturday morning know how to do laundry………………….When word gets around that women are picking up men in the detergent aisle, you can bet men will quickly become experts in all things detergent. Time to put up or shut up..


That certainly put a new spin on things and a whole new meaning when I hear that voice on the Wal-Mart intercom say, "Pick-up in Isle 7".
 BeeReel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 987
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:45 AM

Your right beereel, I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.


You make me feel so special. I take care of a house (chores, laundry, cooking, cats, etc), school, and a job... I dont need a woman to do these things for me. But I just want a woman to pick a role and stick with it. If she wants to be the one to bring home the bread fine. If she wants to do the chores thats fine too. Im flexible. Im just sick of the double standard. We make the money it goes to the family. Women make the money and it goes to shoes and new jewelry (I know Im generalizing). Then they complain that the man isnt taking care of them. I hate to say it, but if a woman has a job making enough money to support a family and they arent; they might as well be taking that money from another family. Im sure to some of you this sounds sexist.... SORRY! Just another reason why mail order brides are a viable choice for men in the states and western world. This way a man can actually have a partner and not just a competetor.
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 988
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:35:00 AM

I don't want to support a man and then come home from my JOB and cook, clean up his mess that HE made, do laundry, and finish my day of work doing dishes because he finds the house work to be WOMENS work. Is it so hard to find a man that will help with household chores? The honest answer is YES.
yawn

This mantra, repeated often enough, becomes self-fulfilling prophesy. Notice how repeating it nearly assures you that you will still be doing the housework, just as you're doing it now, with or without an assistant.

Funny, if I had a fairly cheery partner, irrespective of the language she spoke, I'd probably jump right in with the work...as long as there's time for play. After all, all housework and no play makes Schadenfreudian a dull, morose, and looking-for-love-overseas kinda guy. ;)
 dowadiddy
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 989
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 6:17:29 PM
Just joking all u beautifull Canadian women out there . I am just trying to find some different flavours .
 Jacque_29
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 990
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:44:33 PM
Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her. Of coarse that's why American women are being bashed, is because they can do it all. Gee, we sound so useless compared to foreign women.

Freudian, try using some of Freuds logic. If you don't speak the same language you will never actually know her. She could be laughing at you which wouldn't be considered love. Try a little logic in your next post.

Mane, I do have some advice for your sibling. Take pictures of how she keeps the house for court. More and more men are getting their kids in today's society. I know there are terrible women out there that do nothing and it's why I can't find a decent hardworking guy. I don't care if it's in the house or shoveling manure. Everyone has to do something. I have a theory that any hard working, decent American will wind up with a lazy American because the hard working ones are few and far between in todays society. What the men on this site don't realize is that women have to put up with the same kind of men. Women get used too and it's becoming to where it's more women than men who have to put up with it or live without.

All work and no play makes women stay single.
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 991
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:14:11 PM
Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her. Of coarse that's why American women are being bashed, is because they can do it all. Gee, we sound so useless compared to foreign women.

Well then that changes things.
Oh wait! The guys interested in a overseas bride are single too. Hmmmmmmm
That must mean that they do it all too. well now what could they be searching for. Maybe they are trying to get away from the attitudes.
 2 girls short of a 3some
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 992
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:19:50 AM

Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her.


so you are more than capable of carrying a 100 + pound refridgerator up a flight of stairs by yourself ?



I don't care if it's in the house or shoveling manure. Everyone has to do something.


can not fault this logic at all - in fact I agree whole heartadly
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 993
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:44:33 AM
I think most American men look for a wife from another country because he wants companionship and quite possibly a family also. Yeah, I wouldn't advise a 30-year age difference, but most of these guys want a woman whose reproductive years aren't over. And if the foreign lady has kids, well, then when he brings her (and the kids) over, at least the kids' dad won't come around, and that can be good if he's an a**hole. While it's a good idea to get along with your in-laws, if you don't and you marry a foreign woman, they won't be here either!


As some women have stated in previous posts, they wouldn't go for the guys who go for mail-order brides. Well, there you go! Why would these guys want to waste their time chasing women who consider them too old, too short, too bald, too whatever?
 swamp thing
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 994
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:47:38 AM
What the women are saying here is that the mail order gals won't want us, either, nobody will, ever, so give it up or make a fool of yourself. The idea has caught on universally that some men are just way beyond the reach of any other woman's love besides your own mother, and even that, it turns out, is highly suspect. The dream of being loved is crushed in this thread where so many women have come along to explain plainly why it is an impossibility. The world has shrink, computers replace paper mail, internet dating has done away with mail order brides and the scant hope they allowed. Now it is one big global cluster**** of unworthy men with no place on Earth left to imagine a woman for them. Not at a distance, not in a different culture, nothing, no luck, ever, or anywhere. Time to give up the idea and settle into an obscure and unloved life, as nature intended in this competition of reproductive foolishness.
 MsSquirrly
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 995
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:38:31 AM
aww swampy, I still love ya but man, am I glad I am not an american woman.
 BeeReel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 996
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:25:19 AM

internet dating has done away with mail order brides and the scant hope they allowed.


Untrue! The internet has made it easier than ever! I think thats the reason so many women are flaming this thread. If anyone wants some URLs of good sites let me know!


Now it is one big global cluster**** of unworthy men with no place on Earth left to imagine a woman for them. Not at a distance, not in a different culture, nothing, no luck, ever, or anywhere. Time to give up the idea and settle into an obscure and unloved life, as nature intended in this competition of reproductive foolishness.


There are always real dolls!

I think you hit the nail on the head at the beginning of your post...
What the women are saying here
That just about sums it up! Do you really think there are going to be ANY women who are well-wishers here? I think mail order brides are a facinating topic. I wont say Im perfect. Im sure I have flaws. But one thing I have realized is that a good attitude is beautiful. I have met girls that were overweight that I enjoyed being around so much that I overlooked it. I have also met girls that had gorgeous bodies but their attitudes were so repulsive that I wanted to puke. Sometimes all you need is a positive attitude. You can say that MOBs wont work... You could say they will work. Things work more often when you want them to.
 swamp thing
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 997
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 9:01:29 AM
There have been well-wishers here, and they throw me off my timing as I rant.

 WanderingSpirit
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 998
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Posted: 9/28/2007 9:19:07 AM
Check my status, I am single too. Which means I do it all. Imagine that, a woman not needing a man to do anything for her.


so you are more than capable of carrying a 100 + pound refridgerator up a flight of stairs by yourself ?



Actually I can..called a large dolly. Have one downstairs in the basement, and a almost 16 yr old son who will help me. I would die to have a man help like that, but the last two I had in my life wouldn't. My parents have been married 57 yrs this yr and my mom was a stay at home mom. But on weekends my Dad would help her around the house, make sure the lawn was mowed til I got old enough to do it. But the man I am divorcing now wouldn't mow the lawn, pick his beer bottles up off the floor, when our dog was a puppy and would have a accident and I was at work, the jerk left it there for me til I got home. My neighbor comes over and mows the lawn, shovels the snow etc for me..even when the husband lived here. I don't want a man to support me but for once would be nice to have one work with me. I worked 6 days a week to cover for what the jerk paid in child support. So while I worked 6 days a week and paid the groceries,the utilities etc and was suppose to clean the house alone too. He didn't have the high child support til we got married. The ex girlfriends were mad because he got married to someone else but them. Trust me my life is much more peaceful now with him gone. Just if I ever find a nice guy willing to help in the home, I wouldn't even know how to handle it.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 999
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Posted: 9/28/2007 9:20:36 AM
Shybynature,

Freudian, try using some of Freuds logic. If you don't speak the same language you will never actually know her. She could be laughing at you which wouldn't be considered love. Try a little logic in your next post.

When you consider that 80% of our communication is non-verbal (body language/gestures/eye contact/tone of voice/etc.), it hardly stands to reason that a laguage barrier even exist.
There aren't too many posters to this thread who exemplify logic quite like FreudianSchadan. It's remarks, such as this ^^^^^^^, that perpetuate men seeking MOB's.
I believe his statement, regarding self-fulfilling prophecies, is on the mark. You can argue men won't help you clean, but restating it isn't changing that fact. And like Life-of-Leisure stated, when men find out women are picking up men in the detergent isle, you can bet men will become experts in all things detergent.
But this isn't about house cleaning, really. It's about attitudes of western women. It's also about how many women are "large and in charge". The BMI ratio (weight/height ratio) has increased significantly. This has been a significant factor as to why men are seeking women from other Countries. Iv'e traveled and know how women in such places as Costa Rica, Colombia, and Brazil manage to maintain very trim waist. Why is this so different in our Country? I know what's made a super-sized climate of people in this Country - do you? This epidemic , coupled with bittered/entitled/demeaning attitudes women have towards men, today, as promulgated by our media, is all part and parcel as to why men are looking for brides from other cultures. It's because changes have taken place here, in this Country, which men refuse to accept anymore, and since our Legislators and feminist groups are in bed together, it doesn't help for us to complain or ask for change. it's not going to change unless more women decide for it to change.
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 1000
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Posted: 9/28/2007 10:24:08 AM
^^^^ That'll most likely never happen anytime before the next Ice Age ... the feminist concerns herself very little with those evils which do not furnish her with a text for recriminations against men. (Almroth Wright)
Very few women in the developed countries these days are not feminists under this operative/functional definition.
 jeeprennie
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 1001
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:28:12 AM
Do they come by courier or parcel post? How do they keep them fresh while they're in the mail? Can you return them if they arrive broken or with pieces missing?
 little_mermaid
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 1002
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 12:26:10 PM
Shaden freud has it right..whomever is shouting there mantra(male or female) that is most assuredly what they are going to find. Even if they decide to go over seas.
So make sure your mantra is really what you want not what you don't want.

A real feminist woman doesn't need to bash anyone over there head with there I can do it all and burn my bras at the same time, mentality. She can wear a fabulous push up bras, get the kids to school, go to work or get the house under control and she does it because she loves her family. Has a partnership. She just does it. Does everyone get credit when it's due?? Not always but still these things need to be done.

Neither does a real man need to be in charge or control 24/7. Or feel less then because he is with a woman who is strong or independant or makes more money then he does.
He should be proud of her. Proud of himself for being with the right partner. Where they each bring balance to relationship and family.

Perhaps that man has a better connection with the kids?? He is more the nurturer and she is more the bread winner. Are either of these people better than the other one???

No not hardly.
 2 girls short of a 3some
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 1003
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:05:52 PM
Manerider

<div class="quote">It's because changes have taken place here, in this Country, which men refuse to accept anymore, and since our Legislators and feminist groups are in bed together, it doesn't help for us to complain or ask for change. it's not going to change unless more women decide for it to change.


ooooh they changed it alright for you --- these two groups gave you IMBRA

wanderingspirit


Actually I can..called a large dolly. Have one downstairs in the basement, and a almost 16 yr old son who will help me.


you still have a male (albeit a younger one ) helping you there by your own admission

you know males - designed by nature to be stronger larger etc and do those sorts of things
 dolphin1y
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 1004
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Posted: 9/28/2007 2:53:34 PM
I would like to see POF forums expand to cover a large group of nations. Examples being Japan, China,Brazil,Israel, and nations in other areas of the world.
 WanderingSpirit
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 1005
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Posted: 9/29/2007 8:35:19 AM
Actually I can..called a large dolly. Have one downstairs in the basement, and a almost 16 yr old son who will help me.


you still have a male (albeit a younger one ) helping you there by your own admission
you know males - designed by nature to be stronger larger etc and do those sorts of things

Yes I did admit it...my point is tho, up til this last two years, I didn't have even him to really help. Just called doing what you gotta do.
Trust me God was no dummy when he made man the stronger of the sex physically. He made it for man to protect and provide for his family. But there are alot of men, not saying all that don't believe that or want to do it. I had one ex boyfriend that did these things for me. Long story but we both messed up in the relationship. But when it came to being the man of the house, he had no problem if I went out to do laundry when the kids were sleeping to get up when I came home and bring the laundry up the stairs for me. I never had to ask. There are men out there like this. When a woman finds them she is very lucky.

For example...I have two best friends that have been married for 10 yrs this yr. John treats Tammy like gold. He never raises his voice. Only did once to her in the 10 yrs. He's the man of the house and takes care of business. Tammy is his wife and he lifts thins heavy for her etc. I would never undermine that in John. They got in some financial problems...(their the nice people that people will screw over) I have a opportunity to be coming into a good amount of money in Oct. I could walk up to John and say here John..the money to get you two out of this bind. John would never accept that and I would never do that due to it would demean him as the man of the home. Do I plan on helping them? Yes but with sitting down with John and working out how he can pay back etc...but this way he still has his pride. I guess my point to this is that Tammy is very lucky to have him. Their a couple that will always be together. It's a given.

Alot of women this day of age have been raised to be self sufficient and not depend on man. That's not what was in God's plan. If women were to see that a man can be there to relieve the stress that women put on theselves they'd find alot of good men out there that would love to physically take care of a women. Since I have been single male friends I have had in the past are coming out of the woodwork to help. I most definitly appreciate it and they know this. Grew up with 7 brothers and they took care of the protecting of the family and lil sis. In some ways I don't blame some men for not helping due to their so use to having a woman throw it in their face that they can handle it on their own.
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