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 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 149
Is it still expected that men pay for everythingPage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
mrcs84

That's another way of saying it mrcs84.

I of course was being sarcastic about being dragged behind trucks, but you know, I just know how it goes, and I can expect my mail box to be empty because I dare politely correct a lady with some facts and statistics, and not to be a know it all even, its just when I'm wrong I want to be corrected, but I am used to it anyway.

On topic: Even still, I have never had problems with a woman being selfish with money. When they love you, they'll do anything for you. I've had some really beautiful women that loved me, my last ex was probably one of the most beautiful and incredible women on POF. Gorgeous... but again, because they're still teaching women that they're being mistreated and controlled by men in society, it causes hostility. Breaks my heart man. I don't understand how women can't look at the lives of men around them and see that men aren't doing so well as to be able to pay for everything, but the thing about it is, they hear the propaganda that men are privilaged, so they just assume you're slacking, or made wrong choices, or don't know your full potential, or you're a loser as women pull ahead of men in almost every facit of life now, lol
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 150
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 6:11:06 AM
~~~
I find it odd that men paying is a part of the courting process to a great deal of women. I'd like to really know and understand where this idealism really originated from. Just seems really prostitute ish. Just saying. Like a "if he wants it make him pay for it" kind of thing. "collect the money before you give him the goods" kind of thing.
~~~
Technically.. courting is very different from dating.. I don't know if that poster actually meant courting or is just referring to dating as courting. Courting was the man wooing the woman and trying to convince her to marry him, which is the point of dating.. but courting went much father. Usually it was public or group dates, never alone with the woman. You had to ask the families permission to take her out, not hers. The man always planned and paid and he never got anything sexual in return. Just the pleasure of her company.. some cultures didn't even kiss until the wedding night..She would communicate her wishes to see you or not through her family in the beginning. In the early dates being courted was actually what you wanted as a female.. dating was associated with prostitution. In other words, men dated a prostitute and courted a lady.

of course western society has shifted away from courtship and moved to dating as a means to find a wife. The way we live now courtship is highly impractical, although it is still practiced in some areas and some religions. One of my friends had to be courted.. her first night alone with her husband was their wedding night. He was also her first "boyfriend" the first man she really kissed and he has to go through her family to get her. True courtship is rare and difficult.


~~~
Make-up: So that we don't actually know what you look like? Roger that. I wish I had invented make-up. It's a multi-billion dollar industry that basically tells women that they're ugly. Some of you will pay top dollar to not look like what you naturally look like. Droll...very droll.
~~~
I totally agree with this. I wear very little make-up. I wear it just to smooth out the coloring on my face and a little mascara.. cause my eyes rock! lol. My guy has seen me without it already and he didn't run screaming. I took that as a good sign. lol. I don't hide anything. I don't think there is anything wrong with make-up.. unless you are wearing a ton of it and don't look like yourself. The problem is.. that men reinforce the idea of make-up. They gravitate towards the women who wear it. Whether they know it or not. Of course not all men do this.. and I think it's more prevalent in the younger generation.

~~
Birth control? You know, most of my girlfriends from the past never used birth control. We just stuck with condoms. Amazingly, they didn't break the bank and there were never any unwanted children. Go figure
~~
Well. That's both of the participants fault. It's a risk. and if you allow them or they allow you to not protect yourself, then it's both parties fault. I think each one should protect themselves. I can say I have something, but you can't be sure, so you need to use something too. No more babies for me. I learned my lesson. Now I just want to travel. Of course the guy I'm with doesn't want anymore either. We will happily spend more time somewhere tropical then on diapers. LOL.

~~
"I would have had sex with her, but her clothes were outdated" said no man ever.
~~
Ha.. but would he had bought her dinner?? lol

~~~
I don't understand how women can't look at the lives of men around them and see that men aren't doing so well as to be able to pay for everything, but the thing about it is, they hear the propaganda that men are privileged, so they just assume you're slacking, or made wrong choices, or don't know your full potential, or you're a loser as women pull ahead of men in almost every fact of life now, lol
~~~
Wow.. perspectives must be totally different from my side of the fence. And other men give those types of men a harder time then the women do. From where I sit. My male friends will see guys approach me and be like. "he not good enough for you" He doesn't have this or that.. he should get a second job or blah blah blah. Meanwhile I'm just like.. I had fun with him! lol Maybe it's me who is different? I'm hearing a lot from my guy friends that just floors me.. it's amazing.
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 151
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:29:11 AM
Wow.. perspectives must be totally different from my side of the fence. And other men give those types of men a harder time then the women do. From where I sit. My male friends will see guys approach me and be like. "he not good enough for you" He doesn't have this or that.. he should get a second job or blah blah blah. Meanwhile I'm just like.. I had fun with him! lol Maybe it's me who is different? I'm hearing a lot from my guy friends that just floors me.. it's amazing.

Well on average, successful women are complaining they can't find their equal counter parts in the business world, maybe you don't care I don't know.

Well, our view is definitely different, you're a woman I am a man. I am college educated, and if I wanted to I could have been shallow, not asked questions and went along with all the garbage they teach in college and probably been a GQ rich playboy, but I chose to speak up. Like they talk about multi culturalism in colleges, but the way they present it causes division, because they talk about differences, differences, differences, and slavery, and literally how white males won't be able to get jobs in the future, because they're privilaged so they're going to give the jobs to everyone else, not based on merit mind you but sex and skin color, so the best people aren't getting the jobs, no they're just going to take it upon themselves to just redistribute the jobs the way they see fit. This is literal not satire here. They look down on creationism, and I'm a Christian, a white american born male christian, or the "white devil" as everyone refers to us in a very racist manor, like we still own slaves or something.

They could come at multiculturalism from the perspective of we're all Americans, and we can put aside our differences, and in America you are rewarded on merit but they don't because the globalists writing the agenda and policies for our learning institutions, in my opinion are in the process of divide and conquer, and they are going to lower the standar of living here they admit it right on C-SPAN watch it sometime. So I see all the lies and b.s. they teach in colleges, and you can't avoid it because they want to make sure you're "well rounded" and make you take all kinds of courses that get you more in debt instead of teach you what you came to learn, as if you can't go get a great career and then "well round" yourself. So me, I can't keep my mouth shut, and I see what they're doing, and I start pulling the curtin aside like todo on the Wizard of OZ because. One thing people should know about me here is I am told I have HUGE BALLS, lol.

So I get sent home for being American, they basically do whatever they have to to try to fail me. Agree with me on a project, then at the end of the symsester say they changed their mind and they think I shouldn't have done that project, don't just fail it because it didn't come out bad, just tell me they changed their mind at the end of the symester and and now they're going to have to fail me, and all the good little globalists go to their careers, and have families. So you're guy friends who maybe make great money, as the jobs go completely overseas and the economy goes completely bankrupt, to the point where our dollar is worth nothing, I mean America is already losing its credit rating world wide, they'll wake up some day, and they'll be juded to the way they like to judge some less fortunate guy you had fun with, who might be like me. A handsome, intelligent, rebel. I find women don't mind the lower income when dating, which in my case is about $2500o/yr, so I'm actually doing okay compared to a lot of my male friends, but when you're married, or moved in with them, they want that paycheck man. Women control the purse in the average home, they make most the purchases, most advertising is aimed at women....


So on topic. I can pay your way, but it'd be nice if we could split costs, lol unless one feels like treating the other, and if you want a serious relationship, know I often will chose not to compromise my morals for success and money, it's not that I am a loser, lol.
 Tek_Savvy
Joined: 10/13/2012
Msg: 152
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:30:39 AM
I don't want to "woo" or impress a woman. That is not what dating is about for me, it's about getting to know her. If I need spend money on her I don't know if she likes me because I treated her or she truly has interest in me. My best friend and I never went out, we don't spend much on each other yet we have a very close friendship. This is why I really trust him and he trusts me. Most people disappear if you quit spending money on them, I have seen it too many times. There are free loaders male and female.

Men spend enough when they need to get an engagement ring and probably end up paying for at least half the wedding. Women can at least pay their own way.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 153
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:38:13 AM
I feel more comfortable going dutch.. unless a man says.. "MY TREAT".. then it is..

But waitresses still leave the bill in front of the man.. I always tell them separate checks as i order....
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 154
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:42:04 AM
Seems if people have problems with who pays for the date then they should not be dating each other or dating period. Money should not be more important then getting to know a person. If you can't communicate upfront what your expectations are for a date how will you have a relationship. It is not a game. Guys should not be expecting sex when they pay. Woman should not be using men to get a night out.

Everyone has right to their feelings. Since there is no laws regarding dating, you have to communicate.

If you ask a lady on a date and you wish to pay for the date why can't you just talk to her up front. A woman who is taken on a date should ask in advance if he is paying or you are going dutch.

I don't go on a date unless I can pay for it because you never know. I prefer to pay my own way so that I don't feel the need to order on the budget menu. That way if I have sex with a guy it is my choice.
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 155
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:34:11 AM
Anytime I've dated and I've asked, women usually have it together, more so than any of my guy friends, but they usually tell me, if you want I have money, is what every woman I've ever gone on a date with has told me, poor, rich, whatever, as far as I can remember. They almost always have their own car, many times they are better off than me. Where are did you find this lady OP, lol.
 Just_Got_Back
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 156
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:42:37 AM
For what it's worth, I have never seen the word "money" used/tied to/associated with the definition of chivalry and if a woman thought paying for everything was chivalrous (or "hot" for that matter) I'd have to seriously question whether she was interested in me or my wallet.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 157
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:50:46 AM

Women still do not make the same money even for the same job and still a man's business world.


Single men, with kids, "pay" child support; single women, with kids, "receive" child support.Hell; women receive spousal support at times too.

Sorta evens that up now.


Women must have all the womanly things done, hair, nails, pedicures and so forth. Along with that they spend more on makup (quite expensive) clothing (must be new and up to date) often sitters for the kids, cologne, birth contro(it's expensive), and much more.


Men just need a figleaf and spear right.

Most of that sh*t you do for yourself anyways,, not for men


I'd like to really know and understand where this idealism really originated from. Just seems really prostitute ish. Just saying. Like a "if he wants it make him pay for it" kind of thing. "collect the money before you give him the goods" kind of thing.


The official term is called "a dowry".

In the olden societies you would, literally, buy a wife.

Is what it is


Make-up: So that we don't actually know what you look like? Roger that. I wish I had invented make-up. It's a multi-billion dollar industry that basically tells women that they're ugly. Some of you will pay top dollar to not look like what you naturally look like. Droll...very droll.



"I would have had sex with her, but her clothes were outdated" said no man ever.


Double Amen
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 158
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 11:04:17 AM
I'm sort of old, and I've never though men should pay for everything.
I grew up in a household where my dad worked 3 jobs and my step monster
was a stay at home mom, but even from an early age, I was uncomfortable
having anyone pay for anything.

Once I started working at 14, I paid for my own stuff. I remember going out
on dates and who paid was never an issue. We all chipped in money.

While married, I worked, made more than my husband and we pretty much
shared all the expenses. I had my own bank accounts and credit cards, as did he.

The only place I've ever come up against the "who pays" things is here on fishes
forums. Even on dates with people I've met here, who pays is never an issue. I
always offer to pay and I've only once been taken up on it. If we meet more than
once I always reciprocate any financial gains.

I seriously doubt any guy would be ****ing about paying for a woman that he
seriously liked and wanted to see again though. I see this as only a date gone bad
and someone wants their money back. I don't think it works like that. If you expect
the woman to pay, don't assume she will, tell her she has to. It's pretty much that
simple. If you meet up with a woman that wants you to pay for everything and you
don't want to, don't date her.

Why do people make this more complicated than it is?
Apparently there is a giant school of female fishes that enjoy going out on dates with
people they don't even like simply for a free meal and all us other fishes have to suffer
because of it.

bah
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 159
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History
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:41:01 PM
If a woman is going to reject a guy on second date, she should pay. If you are going out for a while, split the bill or dutch treat. Couples have bills to pay, so it should not be one sided.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 160
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:47:45 PM
Nobody is really disagreeing on this so it has turned into a giant male ****fest. Does complaining about it make it change? If men STOP buying on the 1st date or any date thereafter it will no longer be this huge problem y'all seem to have. Talk to your boys & make it happen.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 161
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History
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 1:14:53 PM
MCRS offered .....

Men should have to pay for the lifestyle choices that women make.

Well, if you insist ... ok. My lifestyle choice is a smallish detached home, maybe 1200-14oo SF, two baths, large fenced yard for the puppy. A second-hand vehicle big enough for me'n'dog would be GREAT; even better if it happened to be hybrid, but I wouldn't want you to pay more than maybe $8000 on a really great car - but for a regular old gas-guzzler you shouldn't have to put out more than about $5000 - that's all I'd pay! I'm not much on the latest fashions, jewelery, make-up, pedicures or manicures, but I do like electronic toys and books. Thanks! Come over any time for dinner, call first though. :)

MCRS - Generous and Witty ...

"I would have had sex with her, but her clothes were outdated" said no man ever.

This made me laugh out loud. :)

SC67 suggested ...

Talk to your boys & make it happen.

Hah! IF the boys ever got it all together like that and eliminated all the opportunities to complain about women, what would they do?? Oh wait, I guess there'd still be politics :)
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 162
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:37:24 PM
~~~~~~~~
I find women don't mind the lower income when dating, which in my case is about $2500o/yr, so I'm actually doing okay compared to a lot of my male friends, but when you're married, or moved in with them, they want that paycheck man. Women control the purse in the average home, they make most the purchases, most advertising is aimed at women....
~~~~~~~~~
25,000 isn't much in some areas in others you can live off it. The reason it matters more when you get serious is because you are now looking at the future and considering the needs of a future family rather then just yourself. It's why when men meet "the one" they suddenly get a fire up their butt in the working world, get promoted, go to college or start looking for a better job. When I got pregnant money was suddenly very important and his lack of motivation to earn any became a deal breaker for us. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I probably would have just kept coasting along having a blast with him until I got tired of his crap or outgrew him. Men will do the same thing.. when looks aren't enough anymore or their voice finally gets on that last nerve or whatever. Women are *generally* smarter with money, which is why they end up holding the purse.. plus men *generally* hate to shop.. so if you ever want to get food in the house.. lol

~~
So on topic. I can pay your way, but it'd be nice if we could split costs, lol unless one feels like treating the other, and if you want a serious relationship, know I often will chose not to compromise my morals for success and money, it's not that I am a loser, lol.
~~~~
You can pay my way? Sweet.. I'll go quit my job now.. *sigh* seriously.. Do women actually do that?? I mean.. I never have and no woman I know ever has..


~~~~
According to wiki. To me and the way I read it and the meaning it holds today is it's part of the dating process. To say a man must pay for your affection is prostitution. Here in Texas when money was tight the barter system was used in the cat houses. A famous whore house got the name "the chicken ranch" from this. So if you require a man to spend his money on you before you will even consider giving him the time of day you would fit in fine at the chicken ranch.
~~~~
I can't decide if you are agreeing with me, disagreeing with me or attempting to insult me.. lol..
It's not a *requirement* for a man to spend money.. that's something they put on themselves to attract the woman they think they desire. Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute. Courting is old fashioned and is not what dating is today, although some still refer to it as courting I guess..
 cateril50
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 163
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:45:00 PM
Well of course. Especially if you asked me out. I don't know what the younger women are thinking. Maybe they don't think they are good enough to be treated, to be romanced. Once in a relationship if I want to do something I will treat if he lets me, most educated ethical men do not. Once in a while if I buy tickets to a concert I can get that treat in but they often offer to pay me for the tickets.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 164
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:47:25 PM

Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute.

True. Prostitution only comes into it if the man pays and is then disappointed that the woman doesn't appreciate it enough to go on a second date or, at least demonstrate her gratitude physically.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 165
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:53:21 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute.

True. Prostitution only comes into it if the man pays and is then disappointed that the woman doesn't appreciate it enough to go on a second date or, at least demonstrate her gratitude physically.
~~~~~~~~~~~

mmmm.. maybe he will think that because he's upset. .. but it's not prostitution because I decide I don't want to go out with him again. If it is.. then I guess call me one? Since I've gone on many first dates.. I don't generally pay and most don't get a second date and I do not do anything physical on a first date as a rule.. Although.. I did break that rule with this guy. lol. Of course 1st dates don't usually last 5 hours either lol. You can appreciate a man taking you out and still not want to go out again. I always appreciate when a guy does anything for me. I always show it.. I'm just not gonna jump their bones in order to do so. If a guy wants to be that upset over it, then I probably made the right choice in not seeing him again eh?? lol

Of course.. in my opinion the woman who *does* demonstrate her "gratitude" physically is more likely to be the prostitute, especially if she doesn't want a second date. lol
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 166
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:34:50 PM
Actually, the guy that's winning the 400 million on that other thread should pay methinks!

From what I can gather, some women do think so, and some women don't....hope that helps :)
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 167
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:42:49 PM
I don't think a man is expected to pay for everything. Share and share alike, be kind to your fellow man....split dessert as well
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 168
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:04:33 PM
No this is not true. It is a generalization based on your perception. I am well over 40 and pay for my own dates.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 169
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History
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:14:55 AM
But waitresses still leave the bill in front of the man.. I always tell them separate checks as i order....


When I am treating a man, I always hand him my cash discreetly, in other word I don't open my wallet in front of a man, for the reason as an Asian ,we respect a man , it has something to do with our fathers that we look up to them... He is strong and in control of finances to support a family ect.... For me I don't want the public to know, that I am with a weakling man that I have to pay his dinner, tho that will be the impression..... I saw a young caucasian couple at Apple Bees,the woman is pretty and the man is a good looking hunk, When the bill comes,the the woman extract her credit card and the man slouched down his seat like he wants to disappear,maybe because I was observing them, or he is uncomfortable that being a hunk he has no money..

On the topic that it is mandatory that a man should pay for the date, because of the makeup, perfume, new clothes, to meet the man, that is a low life philosophy like welfare supporting their nescessites ,everthing should be freebies.
A woman should dress for herself to make her feel beautiful and not to dress for a man.. A woman should have a pride for herself .
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 170
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 2:14:34 PM
It depends on the person.

I personally see it more as no different than going out with my friends, you should split the bill. Even if you're invited out, you should always expect to pay your share. But I also DO treat. I'll bring a girl out, and take the entirety of the bill on myself.

A lot of people have this huge misconception of what a date is. A date isn't a guy buying a woman dinner... A date is the guy and the girl taking that time for each other. It's not what you do, but why you do it.
 phillyrose2
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 171
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:21:28 PM
You ask me out, you pay. I invite you out, I pay. Don't ask me out to dinner and then expect me to pay for my food or drinks. Don't ask me to a movie and then expect me to buy my ticket. If you can't afford dinner, don't ask. Take me out for ice cream. I will cook you a nice dinner or buy tickets to a game or a show. Once we have a long standing established committed relationship, then all monies pool together. Until then, you ask me, it is on you.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 172
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History
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 10:45:12 PM
OMG, I can't hear this f***** question anymore. WTF? It's 2012. If you don't like it, date women who are more liberal. If you're not the liberal type, you’re being a cheapskate. Sorry, you can't have it both ways. I am so fricken tired of this topic.

The thing is, any man from this generation and time period has no issues with this, cause he simply dates women who think like him. It’s always the conservative, traditional, old school guys who have a problem with this, because they feel obligated yet don’t want to step up. Screw the women who don’t think like you and move on. It’s not that hard. If it is, that only means you need to work on yourself and not blame women who YOU pick out.
 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 173
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 1:19:07 AM

Have men become so cheap that they cant even spend 20 dollars on dinner anymore??

lol no we're just tired of being taken advantage of..


Amen!!! Typical woman, complaining about how "cheap" men are........talk to your fellow women about dumping on men, taking advantage of them, trying to suck the life out of them financially, and then ask yourself that question again
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