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 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 155
Is it still expected that men pay for everythingPage 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Anytime I've dated and I've asked, women usually have it together, more so than any of my guy friends, but they usually tell me, if you want I have money, is what every woman I've ever gone on a date with has told me, poor, rich, whatever, as far as I can remember. They almost always have their own car, many times they are better off than me. Where are did you find this lady OP, lol.
 Just_Got_Back
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 156
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:42:37 AM
For what it's worth, I have never seen the word "money" used/tied to/associated with the definition of chivalry and if a woman thought paying for everything was chivalrous (or "hot" for that matter) I'd have to seriously question whether she was interested in me or my wallet.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 157
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:50:46 AM

Women still do not make the same money even for the same job and still a man's business world.


Single men, with kids, "pay" child support; single women, with kids, "receive" child support.Hell; women receive spousal support at times too.

Sorta evens that up now.


Women must have all the womanly things done, hair, nails, pedicures and so forth. Along with that they spend more on makup (quite expensive) clothing (must be new and up to date) often sitters for the kids, cologne, birth contro(it's expensive), and much more.


Men just need a figleaf and spear right.

Most of that sh*t you do for yourself anyways,, not for men


I'd like to really know and understand where this idealism really originated from. Just seems really prostitute ish. Just saying. Like a "if he wants it make him pay for it" kind of thing. "collect the money before you give him the goods" kind of thing.


The official term is called "a dowry".

In the olden societies you would, literally, buy a wife.

Is what it is


Make-up: So that we don't actually know what you look like? Roger that. I wish I had invented make-up. It's a multi-billion dollar industry that basically tells women that they're ugly. Some of you will pay top dollar to not look like what you naturally look like. Droll...very droll.



"I would have had sex with her, but her clothes were outdated" said no man ever.


Double Amen
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 158
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 11:04:17 AM
I'm sort of old, and I've never though men should pay for everything.
I grew up in a household where my dad worked 3 jobs and my step monster
was a stay at home mom, but even from an early age, I was uncomfortable
having anyone pay for anything.

Once I started working at 14, I paid for my own stuff. I remember going out
on dates and who paid was never an issue. We all chipped in money.

While married, I worked, made more than my husband and we pretty much
shared all the expenses. I had my own bank accounts and credit cards, as did he.

The only place I've ever come up against the "who pays" things is here on fishes
forums. Even on dates with people I've met here, who pays is never an issue. I
always offer to pay and I've only once been taken up on it. If we meet more than
once I always reciprocate any financial gains.

I seriously doubt any guy would be ****ing about paying for a woman that he
seriously liked and wanted to see again though. I see this as only a date gone bad
and someone wants their money back. I don't think it works like that. If you expect
the woman to pay, don't assume she will, tell her she has to. It's pretty much that
simple. If you meet up with a woman that wants you to pay for everything and you
don't want to, don't date her.

Why do people make this more complicated than it is?
Apparently there is a giant school of female fishes that enjoy going out on dates with
people they don't even like simply for a free meal and all us other fishes have to suffer
because of it.

bah
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 159
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:41:01 PM
If a woman is going to reject a guy on second date, she should pay. If you are going out for a while, split the bill or dutch treat. Couples have bills to pay, so it should not be one sided.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 160
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:47:45 PM
Nobody is really disagreeing on this so it has turned into a giant male ****fest. Does complaining about it make it change? If men STOP buying on the 1st date or any date thereafter it will no longer be this huge problem y'all seem to have. Talk to your boys & make it happen.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 161
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 1:14:53 PM
MCRS offered .....

Men should have to pay for the lifestyle choices that women make.

Well, if you insist ... ok. My lifestyle choice is a smallish detached home, maybe 1200-14oo SF, two baths, large fenced yard for the puppy. A second-hand vehicle big enough for me'n'dog would be GREAT; even better if it happened to be hybrid, but I wouldn't want you to pay more than maybe $8000 on a really great car - but for a regular old gas-guzzler you shouldn't have to put out more than about $5000 - that's all I'd pay! I'm not much on the latest fashions, jewelery, make-up, pedicures or manicures, but I do like electronic toys and books. Thanks! Come over any time for dinner, call first though. :)

MCRS - Generous and Witty ...

"I would have had sex with her, but her clothes were outdated" said no man ever.

This made me laugh out loud. :)

SC67 suggested ...

Talk to your boys & make it happen.

Hah! IF the boys ever got it all together like that and eliminated all the opportunities to complain about women, what would they do?? Oh wait, I guess there'd still be politics :)
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 162
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:37:24 PM
~~~~~~~~
I find women don't mind the lower income when dating, which in my case is about $2500o/yr, so I'm actually doing okay compared to a lot of my male friends, but when you're married, or moved in with them, they want that paycheck man. Women control the purse in the average home, they make most the purchases, most advertising is aimed at women....
~~~~~~~~~
25,000 isn't much in some areas in others you can live off it. The reason it matters more when you get serious is because you are now looking at the future and considering the needs of a future family rather then just yourself. It's why when men meet "the one" they suddenly get a fire up their butt in the working world, get promoted, go to college or start looking for a better job. When I got pregnant money was suddenly very important and his lack of motivation to earn any became a deal breaker for us. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I probably would have just kept coasting along having a blast with him until I got tired of his crap or outgrew him. Men will do the same thing.. when looks aren't enough anymore or their voice finally gets on that last nerve or whatever. Women are *generally* smarter with money, which is why they end up holding the purse.. plus men *generally* hate to shop.. so if you ever want to get food in the house.. lol

~~
So on topic. I can pay your way, but it'd be nice if we could split costs, lol unless one feels like treating the other, and if you want a serious relationship, know I often will chose not to compromise my morals for success and money, it's not that I am a loser, lol.
~~~~
You can pay my way? Sweet.. I'll go quit my job now.. *sigh* seriously.. Do women actually do that?? I mean.. I never have and no woman I know ever has..


~~~~
According to wiki. To me and the way I read it and the meaning it holds today is it's part of the dating process. To say a man must pay for your affection is prostitution. Here in Texas when money was tight the barter system was used in the cat houses. A famous whore house got the name "the chicken ranch" from this. So if you require a man to spend his money on you before you will even consider giving him the time of day you would fit in fine at the chicken ranch.
~~~~
I can't decide if you are agreeing with me, disagreeing with me or attempting to insult me.. lol..
It's not a *requirement* for a man to spend money.. that's something they put on themselves to attract the woman they think they desire. Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute. Courting is old fashioned and is not what dating is today, although some still refer to it as courting I guess..
 cateril50
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 163
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:45:00 PM
Well of course. Especially if you asked me out. I don't know what the younger women are thinking. Maybe they don't think they are good enough to be treated, to be romanced. Once in a relationship if I want to do something I will treat if he lets me, most educated ethical men do not. Once in a while if I buy tickets to a concert I can get that treat in but they often offer to pay me for the tickets.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 164
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:47:25 PM

Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute.

True. Prostitution only comes into it if the man pays and is then disappointed that the woman doesn't appreciate it enough to go on a second date or, at least demonstrate her gratitude physically.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 165
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 4:53:21 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just because a man decides to pay for a date doesn't make the woman a prostitute.

True. Prostitution only comes into it if the man pays and is then disappointed that the woman doesn't appreciate it enough to go on a second date or, at least demonstrate her gratitude physically.
~~~~~~~~~~~

mmmm.. maybe he will think that because he's upset. .. but it's not prostitution because I decide I don't want to go out with him again. If it is.. then I guess call me one? Since I've gone on many first dates.. I don't generally pay and most don't get a second date and I do not do anything physical on a first date as a rule.. Although.. I did break that rule with this guy. lol. Of course 1st dates don't usually last 5 hours either lol. You can appreciate a man taking you out and still not want to go out again. I always appreciate when a guy does anything for me. I always show it.. I'm just not gonna jump their bones in order to do so. If a guy wants to be that upset over it, then I probably made the right choice in not seeing him again eh?? lol

Of course.. in my opinion the woman who *does* demonstrate her "gratitude" physically is more likely to be the prostitute, especially if she doesn't want a second date. lol
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 166
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:34:50 PM
Actually, the guy that's winning the 400 million on that other thread should pay methinks!

From what I can gather, some women do think so, and some women don't....hope that helps :)
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 167
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:42:49 PM
I don't think a man is expected to pay for everything. Share and share alike, be kind to your fellow man....split dessert as well
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 168
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:04:33 PM
No this is not true. It is a generalization based on your perception. I am well over 40 and pay for my own dates.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 169
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:14:55 AM
But waitresses still leave the bill in front of the man.. I always tell them separate checks as i order....


When I am treating a man, I always hand him my cash discreetly, in other word I don't open my wallet in front of a man, for the reason as an Asian ,we respect a man , it has something to do with our fathers that we look up to them... He is strong and in control of finances to support a family ect.... For me I don't want the public to know, that I am with a weakling man that I have to pay his dinner, tho that will be the impression..... I saw a young caucasian couple at Apple Bees,the woman is pretty and the man is a good looking hunk, When the bill comes,the the woman extract her credit card and the man slouched down his seat like he wants to disappear,maybe because I was observing them, or he is uncomfortable that being a hunk he has no money..

On the topic that it is mandatory that a man should pay for the date, because of the makeup, perfume, new clothes, to meet the man, that is a low life philosophy like welfare supporting their nescessites ,everthing should be freebies.
A woman should dress for herself to make her feel beautiful and not to dress for a man.. A woman should have a pride for herself .
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 170
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 2:14:34 PM
It depends on the person.

I personally see it more as no different than going out with my friends, you should split the bill. Even if you're invited out, you should always expect to pay your share. But I also DO treat. I'll bring a girl out, and take the entirety of the bill on myself.

A lot of people have this huge misconception of what a date is. A date isn't a guy buying a woman dinner... A date is the guy and the girl taking that time for each other. It's not what you do, but why you do it.
 phillyrose2
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 171
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:21:28 PM
You ask me out, you pay. I invite you out, I pay. Don't ask me out to dinner and then expect me to pay for my food or drinks. Don't ask me to a movie and then expect me to buy my ticket. If you can't afford dinner, don't ask. Take me out for ice cream. I will cook you a nice dinner or buy tickets to a game or a show. Once we have a long standing established committed relationship, then all monies pool together. Until then, you ask me, it is on you.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 172
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/28/2012 10:45:12 PM
OMG, I can't hear this f***** question anymore. WTF? It's 2012. If you don't like it, date women who are more liberal. If you're not the liberal type, you’re being a cheapskate. Sorry, you can't have it both ways. I am so fricken tired of this topic.

The thing is, any man from this generation and time period has no issues with this, cause he simply dates women who think like him. It’s always the conservative, traditional, old school guys who have a problem with this, because they feel obligated yet don’t want to step up. Screw the women who don’t think like you and move on. It’s not that hard. If it is, that only means you need to work on yourself and not blame women who YOU pick out.
 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 173
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 1:19:07 AM

Have men become so cheap that they cant even spend 20 dollars on dinner anymore??

lol no we're just tired of being taken advantage of..


Amen!!! Typical woman, complaining about how "cheap" men are........talk to your fellow women about dumping on men, taking advantage of them, trying to suck the life out of them financially, and then ask yourself that question again
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 174
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 11:14:53 AM
[Have men become so cheap that they cant even spend 20 dollars on dinner anymore??]


Says the girl who's too cheap to spend $20.00 on dinner.

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 175
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 11:50:47 AM

Is it still expected that men pay for everything?

No, just themselves.

There are women out there that you don't have to wine and dine. If you don't want to you don't have to. You may date less, but who cares if you'll only be dating people you're not matched with?
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 176
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 12:13:51 PM
At least for older men the social norm was to pay for the date, end of discussion. So many of us feel an unspoken pressure as we approach the cash register. Especially if there are other older men and women standing in line.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 177
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 12:19:37 PM
My older sister thinks men should pay for everything and yes it is old school thinking! I, a good 15 years younger than he. think that you should take turns paying depending on the situation or until that situation is grounded, each can pay their own way. It will get very expensive for a man if he has to pay for every meal and every date he goes out with every time!

Woman today all have their careers in place, the house in order, and supposedly "know what they want". So with that "right" comes a new responsibility. Men no longer need to pay for everything! Yes they can still respect her if she offers to pay and or takes turns paying. Many woman have that old school thinking, I for one do not. If the man enjoys paying the way than it should be treated as a privilege not something to be "expected

There is nothing wrong about sharing the bill or taking turns. My friend and I go out for lunch all the time. We don't even keep track any more as to who paid last time and who didn't. Same goes for the Tim Hortons drive through. We take turns paying and it all evens out in the end.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 178
Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/29/2012 12:19:51 PM
When I used to date,, I would always pay,, not once would I expect a woman to pay,, however, a simple gesture of thank you is always nice,,and the offer to pay is also nice..

When I met my girl over 3 yrs go,, our fist date, she had her wallet out before the check even came,, my girl expecting nothing of me,, I said thank you,, but I have this,, and payed,, we went to may place,, to get ready to meet up with a few of my friends,, we had many drinks, including what my friends were drinking,, she offered to pay again,, My guy friend said what are you kidding,,Norm and I have this..

To this day, Erika still offers to pay,, I do let her every pay every now and then,, because it makes her feel good,, and she tips real well, that was rather impressive too..
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 179
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Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 11/30/2012 4:09:51 PM
^^^^^
Props to you and Erika. It isn't always about how much each person pays, but what they feel is fair and balanced. Reciprocation is key.
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