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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 278
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?Page 13 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
FWIW, I met a fellow back at university, raised in a physically abusive home. His sister married a wife beater, they got divorced, she picked up a second one who was Prince Charming, including to the nurse mom who ignored her husband beating anyone within reach. Abusive husband would buy parents-in-laws all sorts of gifts and the like, and they apparently enjoyed selling out their daughter. Meanwhile the fellow I met, taking all sorts of social courses in school to figure out what happened to him, met a woman he suspected was beating her daughter, but he needed a place to stay. So he took in what he suspected she was doing, and thought, "I know how to handle this, I learned how to defuse my father" rather than thinking,"wow, this is nuts, i'm going to avoid this situation and find someone else to live with."

he went with what he knew from childhood, and she nearly choked him out one night in bed. Far as I know, they're still together.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 279
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2016 8:24:05 AM
Sad stuff.

Even kind people who are not abusive will tolerate abuse if that's all life has shown them.

I met a gal once that couldn't accept my kindness and would result to shaming, belittling me and making fun of my past.

Apparently, her ex was a Prince Charming that cheated on her.

Now she's got this faulty script that says kindness is bad.

So, she's stuck in a vicious loop and will only take serious the men that are a$$holes to her.

I never did become the a$$hole she wanted and walked away.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 280
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Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2016 7:56:23 PM

In cases like this, I have to wonder if the abuser was "Prince Charming" to everyone else as well, or just to the eventual abused person. It is difficult to believe that so many people can hide such a dark side from EVERYONE in their life, in ALL instances, for years upon years, and then undergo such a radical change all of a sudden.


There's a reason I keep sticking to these two thoughts:

If he seems like he might be a jerk, he is.
and
Dating a genuinely good guy is as simple as just dating a genuinely good guy.

Everyone I know that's ended up in these situations, it was pretty much only them that he was such a great guy to. Everyone else saw him acting like a complete****to everyone, and her.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 281
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2016 8:12:55 PM

Everyone I know that's ended up in these situations, it was pretty much only them that he was such a great guy to. Everyone else saw him acting like a complete****to everyone, and her.

Ain't that the truth.
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