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 AUTHOR
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 294
Why do men do the diappearing act?Page 17 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

Hey smjle - have you been a POF member long? Going to be tough 'cause you are way too direct for the womenfolk, too logical and worst of all WAY TOO CORRECT.

Joe, you are probably right. It seems that most women and even men too prefer nice sounding politically and socially correct statement to the truth.
 dsj34
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 303
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/10/2007 12:39:30 PM
Some men AND women do this. Sometimes it's easier and more convenient to ignore the other person than to say that "I'm not interested". I don't agree with it though. I think it is rude, selfish, and immature to stop contact without any type of notice.



Because there is no benefit. First the gal will get upset and ask why. Then you have to lie (a lie they will not believe) because if you tell the truth the gal will become extremely angry and call you names. What guy needs that?

The same goes for women, if a women tell a guy why she is not interested, he will reply, "You are ugly and I wouldn't f*** you anyway."


Ignoring a person doesn't always prevent rude comments. Some people can get mad because you ignored them and send you rude emails and phone messages.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 304
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:38:36 AM
I suspect that the real reason women want men to give them a call is so they can get angry and call him names. When he doesn't call, they don't get that opportunity.

Most men would love be very considerate and give the lady a call. However, our experience is that she will punish us with snide or hateful remarks or otherwise make the phone call unpleasant and we don't wish to be punished so we believe it is better that we just disappear. I would be happy to call under the following conditions:

1. I want it to a brief and pleasant conversation. I want the lady to sound neutral or happy much like when you ask a sales lady a question. And, I don't want the conversation to linger more than 60 to 120 second max.
2. I don't want her to be upset. That is, I don't want her to sound very sad, depressed or angry. And, I certainly don't want any tears. That is very unpleasant.
3. I don't want her asking any questions that may be difficult to answer or that forces me to lie.
4. I don't want any snide, cutting, or hateful remarks.

So how am I going to tell her without the phone call being unpleasant? I don't believe it is possible but tell me if you think it is.

I will start. Ring ring, she answers, "Hello." Now you complete the conversation.
 comedyhood
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 311
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:24:19 PM
Diappearing? Probably a "fetish" thing buy them a binky and a sippy cup full of rum and turn on Barney, but when the "Diappearing needs changing, tell them you forgot your phone in the car and split!

Hehe I couldn't help it;-)
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 316
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 1:58:48 PM
People of both genders do the disappearing act. For example, a few weekends ago, one of my male cousins went on a date with some woman. They had some food and drinks for about 2-3 hrs. He called back a few days later and he never heard back from her. At least, she should have sent a brief, polite, but firm email or text message stating her lack of interest in him. I think a lot of people lose interest after the first date unless there is earthshattering chemistry. I think that is unrealistic because you don't know the other person that well on a first date.
 Frank197594
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 323
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:36:03 AM
It's not just the men, women do it too... :)

Frank
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 327
view profile
History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:11:11 PM
i met somone here, had a WONDERFUL date, we spoke a couple of times after that but havent spoken in about 2weeks or so, i called and sent e mail. im giving it the benefit of the doubt since he told me that he had to go back home to see about his ailing mother. i feel one should never expect too much too soon.

if he never contacts me again. ill simply move on. no need to find out why, people have their own reasons for disappearing wheather they be good or bad; i dont worry about it and just move on.
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 329
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/19/2008 1:46:26 PM
Thought I would throw in my penny worth too! Both sides do it however:

I was dating a guy from another site for 3-4 months - 2 or 3 times a week, met his daughter (shes 21), all going well I thought then he just vanishes. Didnt return my text, hung up when I called him!! Sod him I thought - now he is on this site and his profile says - I know how to treat a lady like a lady - no you don't buddy, ya haven't a clue!! And what kills me is when I do a search or whose online etc his mug pops up and I would like to smack it!! Now there ya go - I feel better now!

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 335
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:44:36 AM
Hmm, these guys must be male cute rabbits in a Magician Hats.....
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 336
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:55:51 AM
Maybe it's because you're a clinging harpie who reminds them too much of their ex.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 337
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:10:25 AM
I have had it happen to me as well.

Simply put they are cowards not men.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 348
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/26/2008 9:13:46 AM
i don't let many people in~so when a man plays a game, it bothers me. i live a quiet life and don't understand why some men are just plain ole' headcases???????? if he likes you, then "be there" if not then say goodbye, "I don't like you"

What is sooooooooo hard about that? geeeeezzzeeee
 lowesmanishere
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 349
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/30/2008 7:26:22 AM
listen woman do the same I dated some one nice for over 3 weeks the other night when saying good-bye othere things were saying hello binka binka everything but the home run(she started it) of course im not going stop especially after 3 cosmos any way it happened she did 4 or 5 times me once and we could not wait for tomorrow for breakfast..she sent me a e mail saying that she wanted off match and did not want me to see here any more I didi talk to here and she said it was here not me. so she dissapeared and i got dumped for a vibrator Eric sorr if it sounds volger
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 351
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/30/2008 10:17:44 AM
Men disappear for one reason...so they can come back when they want to. If they give you a reason then they have lost that chance and if the grass ends up not being greener then they have Plan B...YOU!
 sifurich
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 357
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:03:17 AM
kyloz has a very important truth though she didn't think of it I am sure. Everything in a relationship as she states it even is about what she wants ,what she gets, and love or relationships cannot be built on that. First off, love is not about what you get in a relationship it is about what you can give of yourself to one another [and it takes both sides]. Any man can in short order see from how a woman acts if it's all about her or if it's about them, and if it's about them usually dissapear shortly if she is that way.
truthfully though, it's hard to find a woman who can talk openly with a man without her making it about what she wants and what she expects. Thats a simple truth in our society and probably a hugew reason we have the highest divorce rate in the world today. Now thats not saying there aren't men out there just like that, but as a man speaking of what I have spoken tyo and thats females. So no offence ladies really.
The other thing one see's is that their are always alteriral motives for why a woman does something. It seems they say they want love and so forth but in reality they want some guy to control, a sugar daddy so forth or so on. If a guy approached you ladies that way how long would you even talk to him [1 second}.men are no differen't.
Now I don't mind once settled as a couple if a woman takes control of what she is good at in a relationship. Weather it be the banking orwhat you do for Christmas.My self just wish I could talk to a woman that wasn't afraid of a true relationship and wasn't all about herself and what she gets and wants
 sifurich
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 367
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/4/2009 12:04:12 AM
kitten purrs should learn that karma isn't what you'll get back two fold. When you act on darma darma destroys your karma setting a new path. The big thing then is what you missed out on and secondly how much darma will interfear ion your hopes and dreams when they come
 sifurich
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 370
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/4/2009 12:12:46 PM
and what is your post about
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 372
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:55:47 AM
The better question is why do people ( both men and women ) do the disappearing act. The majority of women that I have talked to on internet dating sites have either

1) done the disappearing act
2) ignored me for 1-2 weeks. Then tell me that they aren't interested. By then, I had already moved on.
 KatyLadyH
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 373
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:52:56 PM
Okay ladies.. STAY AWAY from Ferris in Stafford... 'immature and incontinent' is a nice description. He is looking for a size 2, non-black woman (and let's not forget the 38DD bra-size) who is needy enough to put up with his washed-up, tore-up knees wanna-be football player with turf-burn keloids scars... Help him put on his diapers..!!!
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 375
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/5/2009 8:58:48 PM
Don't call me a traitor, men....Maybe some men do it because they don't have the emotional maturity to deal with a situation where so many, "feelings." are going to be involved. He can't come over to your house and say, "This relationship's not working out anymore, I'm gone." Not unless you responded, "Well, that sucks," and immediately forgotten about the guy, because you were popping open a beer. If it went like that, guys could handle it. But, heavy emotional interaction, accusations and recriminations, explanations, guilt and tears? In the modern age of communications it's too easy not to man up and talk it out.
 mysticaries
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 377
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 4/6/2009 9:00:08 AM

Don't call me a traitor, men....Maybe some men do it because they don't have the emotional maturity to deal with a situation where so many, "feelings." are going to be involved. He can't come over to your house and say, "This relationship's not working out anymore, I'm gone." Not unless you responded, "Well, that sucks," and immediately forgotten about the guy, because you were popping open a beer. If it went like that, guys could handle it. But, heavy emotional interaction, accusations and recriminations, explanations, guilt and tears? In the modern age of communications it's too easy not to man up and talk it out.


EXACTLY. In other words, cowardice. Too selfishly concerned with making things easy on their own ass to have any consideration for the other person. This is not how adults should act. Especially 'men' who like to pride themselves on being strong. Emotionally men tend to be the weaker sex, and while I understand this, it really gets old having to deal with an adult as if they were a child.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 384
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:33:07 AM
It really is amazing how people (men and women) can do disappearing acts. I had that happen to me not all that long ago. We went out a few times (no, there was no sex LOL), and we seemed to a great connection and common interests. After our last date, I received a text from him that by no means implied that he didn't want to see me again. So I went along thinking that we would and sent him a text a few days later with no response, left him a voice mail the next day with no response. So WTF? My only conclusion is that the guy is a coward or he decided to put me in the OPTION column if another woman doesn't work out. I don't care now, but it was a little bewildering when it happened.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 387
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History
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:17:28 PM
Simple: PEOPLE do the disappearing act because they can!
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