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 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 578
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POF LimericksPage 15 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
hmm...

do you think that when god designed nipples
he'd had just one too many communal wine tipples?
as their function's not clear
occasionally dispense milk and not beer
and can prove to be terribly fickle

Was this his idea of a joke
as he disappeared out back for a smoke
cos the quality control is so bad
all different sizes can he had
which makes them a pig in a poke
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 579
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Posted: 1/4/2009 8:35:03 AM
hmm...

One wonders when the double-entendre
managed to jump itself over the pond
The french like to play it
whilst the english just say it
and therein, I expect lies the bond
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 580
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POF Limericks
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:40:26 AM
Hmm...

the once was a crime committed on the strand
to****ey rhyming slang old man
He found his wallet had been plucked
leaving him quite firmly stuck
and he said I am donald ducked, yes I am
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 583
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POF Limericks
Posted: 1/6/2009 9:28:03 AM
hmm...

The mother in law you must abor
she aims to make you obscure
while you stand there and parlez
she could suck start a harley
she's out for your blood I am sure
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 584
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POF Limericks
Posted: 1/6/2009 9:37:23 AM
Hmm...

there was an old codger with glee
who off the rooftops would pee
the folk below who did not like that
caught him and and called him a prat
then hung him till dead from a tree
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 585
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POF Limericks
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:40:15 PM
Hmm...

Sant Claus got knocked off course and hit Venus
when a meteor struck him in the p.enis
all the worlds kids could only stare
as their stockings were bare
with hardly a present between us
 Amazin2u
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 586
POF Limericks
Posted: 1/6/2009 2:51:59 PM
I once had a boyfriend name Wesley
Who liked to eat chocolate especially
He didn't dive on muff
Which I found to be tough
Until I simply covered it in Nestle
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 587
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Posted: 1/6/2009 5:58:16 PM
amazing....you made me laugh!!...rock and roll

whenever did muff get too tough
that you could ever get enough
when you open the wrapper
its the colour of Red Snapper
and tastes quite the same, sho' enuf....
 Amazin2u
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 588
POF Limericks
Posted: 1/6/2009 10:44:19 PM
Another boyfriend named Chin
came to the house for din din
had a fondue made from velveeta
became a cheese covered little peeta
and I soon had a big ole orange grin
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 589
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POF Limericks
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:02:43 AM
hmm...

there was a soldier name of Hank
who whilst on guard duty often drank
this was because his heart had sank
He would rather be in his tank
with hatches closed having a .........................sleep......
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 591
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Posted: 1/8/2009 11:17:14 AM
Hmm...

A young lady with deft repartee
exlained all about her third mammary
her complicated triple bra
engineered from afar
was plainly open for all there to see

A round of applause like a ripple
was gained at the site of a nipple
but the crowd cried with glee
at the sight of all three
and all had but many a tipple

A poor lad could only but stare
at the sight of this wonder quite bare
amidst hoots of derision
he doubted his vision
but in truth he just really didn't care

The local vicar who thought eminently
that a blessing was needed praise be
thought it right that he oughta
spray them with holy water
and annointed them also for free

when the local baker this he did spy
cried "I best put them into a pie"
so he pastried her nicely
absolutely precisely
a piece of which everyone wanted to try
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 592
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Posted: 1/9/2009 7:23:14 AM
Hmm...

At first glance a mechanical engineer
would to all intent seem quit austere
And so I tell all here that is is so
this man is proper taught to really know
the true value of Suck, squeeze, bang, and blow
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 593
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Posted: 1/15/2009 6:25:35 AM
In England they currently witter
all manner of doom, gloom, and twitter
whilst they do they best
to unburden their chest
they must try not to get so bloody bitter!
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 595
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Posted: 1/16/2009 7:24:59 AM
Its rainy and foggy today
the english channel is having a play
visiting women from dorset
hang on to their corsets
while we wish they were blown away
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 596
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Posted: 1/16/2009 7:29:18 AM
A Hobgoblin and a Pixie
debated each other under a tree
they started at dawn
still going at night were forelorn
and both ran away for a pee
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 597
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Posted: 1/16/2009 12:57:47 PM
hey.....anyone out there
feel like throwing down the gauntlet
to make us all laugh?

suggest a one word taster
and lets try to build a single limerick verse
upon it

like....fear

there was an old man not so near
who often acted rather queer
in public ale house bold as brass
he dropped his draws to scratch his ass
he acted thus as to all near as he never ever felt no fear

tada!...etc.........

lets have a giggle
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 598
POF Limericks
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:36:54 PM
There once was a man from Hollowbrook
Who caught ten fish with a giant hook
He took them home to Elizabeth Aden's
They cooked them up
And then they ate 'em
They fell in love after supper
Then made a date to marry each other
Oh, what a large hook to catch those fish...
And then Elizabeth!


 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 599
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Posted: 1/17/2009 6:00:08 PM
hmm...

a young lady from north carolina
wrote poetry that would define her
she wore strange apparrel
bought from cracker barrell
and too much makeup and eye liner


lol.just teasing.......
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 600
POF Limericks
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:14:48 PM
Careful what you say
to NC girls along the way
they may not guess that you're teasing
and run away believing!
Crying off all their liner
looking like they have a shiner...
Wait! I don't wear that stuff!
Dru....you are full of fluff!..
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 601
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Posted: 1/18/2009 7:05:11 AM
Hmm...

ah young lass you know me well
I steal a kiss then pull your pony tail
and as my ass you swiftly kick
and look to beat me with a stick
you know it is to no avail!
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 602
POF Limericks
Posted: 1/18/2009 1:26:38 PM
There once was a day Oh, so cold
icicles in heat vents came out, I'm told
Folks got together
to weather the weather
with blankets and spirits of old
When Spring came 'round
the sun readied the ground...
seeds could be sown there-after
But the seeds also grew
from that cold that joined few...
growing bellies with babies and laughter!
Woops~

 cawfem
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 603
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Posted: 7/19/2009 8:41:15 PM
A naughty and teasing new poet
Wrote limericks like she don't know it.
But one could see through
All the bluff and he knew
All her teasing was just a big show (it)!


eeek !
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 604
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Posted: 8/8/2011 9:43:06 AM
ah, you just have to love the sillyness of it all.........555

The Vicar he knew not what to say
as the strumpet told him to take her this day
She threw caution to the wind
as she had previously sinned
but the vicar he just ran away
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 605
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POF Limericks
Posted: 8/8/2011 10:18:07 AM
aw, these things are addictive...555

We went to the circus this day
to see the trapeze artist lady at play
her costume got ripped
as she indelicately slipped
and fell into the elephants way

The juggler well he saw it all
whilst skillfully playing with his balls
quick as a flash
and with quite some panaiche
he grabbed her and pinned her to the wall

She did not quite know what to say
he had gallantly saved her that way
all the time knowing
she was indeed showing
things best not seen in the bright light of day

"Here", he said, "take my handkerchief"
"it will save you considerable grief"
but she had such a figure
It needed to be much bigger
to the gathering crowds great relief
 Druid59
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 606
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Posted: 8/9/2011 1:17:00 AM
I have to stop doing this.......555

She cried out with this lurid refrain
"bang me like an old screen door in a hurricane"
he leapt out of his clothes
fell and broke his nose
and carpet burned something best not named
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