Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Poems And Quotes  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jg65
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 133
POF LimericksPage 2 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
HERE! HERE! AT LEAST SOMEONE WITH SOME SANITY
WHO CAN SEE THROUGH ALL THE BANALITY
CANST ANYONE SEE
WHEN THE MONKEY WENT TO PEE
ALONG CAME BUSH AS A SUBSTITUTE
 fallingbear
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 137
POF Limericks
Posted: 8/25/2007 6:23:41 AM
there once was a fallingbear from australia
who wanted to say how the bloody hell are ya
but when said hi,
they all replied goodbye
so he sat in the corner, sucked his thumb,
just like little jack horner..

or,,
so he sat in the corner, sucked his thumb,
and felt like a bl..dy big failure.
 hashcannon
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 236
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:17:18 AM
Xmas joy to everyone...
santa's here and needin sum fun...
its cold outside and his sleigh is all ready..
did i mention...that you look great in that teddy...
christmas is cumin...so soon is the day
santa's here and want's to cum in and see if you can play...

 hashcannon
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 238
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:59:01 PM
her measure was at question her honor was untrue
her daily misadventure has been somewhat directed at you
his dismay at finding all of this was somewhat of a virtue
tis better to be long without it than be led along as a shrew....

 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 278
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:00:26 PM
I gave her this GREAT cabernet
$1k a bottle I say!
but try as I might
there’ll be “none” tonight
‘Cuz she threw the corkscrew away!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 279
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:01:14 PM
What’s that? You think you’re with child?
‘T was by me your body’s defiled?
my vasectomy
says: “It ain’t me!”
So, someone else is beguiled
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 280
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:01:59 PM
Oh golly shucks and oh gee
Where is my memory?
in the bathroom am I
I’ve unzipped my fly …
Oh yeah! I’m here to go pee!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 281
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:14:02 AM
‘T is a BMW I steer
All over town an’ back here
Aye, pretty it ‘tis
But expensive it is
So now I can’t buy ya’ a beer!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 283
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:44:46 AM
“Your turn to buy beer, by the way”,
“Pat” says to Sean one fine day:
“Nope …funds are gone,
And I’m overdrawn,
But, if YOU buy, “Pat” … I will stay”
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 284
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:45:09 AM
‘T was a young lass name of “Muffet”
Who always sat on her tuffet
But was rough as a board
All scarred and scored
Cause men kept trying to fluff it.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 285
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:45:36 AM
A miss with handsome curved thighs
From men she elicited sighs
Try as they would
None of them could
Ever lay hands on the prize.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 286
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 12:29:45 PM
“Heavenly”, she had said to me
(I thought: “Tonight I’ll get LUCKY!”)
- but …wasn’t her mind
- she’d been unkind
She thought I was leaving, you see.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 287
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 12:30:41 PM
“We can’t go on meeting like this
My husband’s all in a hiss”
- I found out: She’s right.
- met her husband tonight
I think it’s my face I will miss.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 288
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 12:31:22 PM
Now this dude, he thinks he can rhyme
He posts on here all of the time
- he can’t rhyme squat
- and you know what? …
He should have to pay for his crime!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 290
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:38:58 PM
She said for me “it’d” be free
And … ‘t was ... (fore the divorce decree)
- now I’ve no house
- I’m without spouse
I’ll not go again on a “free spree”!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 291
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:39:33 PM
“YO!, Me name is O-Rourke”, said he
“And ‘t is I who can out-drink all o’ ye”
- True it is mate
- His capacity great
But ‘t is his BUYIN’ side that is wee.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 292
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:40:02 PM
‘T was an Irish Lad from ol’ Dublin
On St. Paddy’s day was he bubblin’
- Full’a green beer
- but lost his good cheer
When his wife said his drinkin’ was troublin’.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 294
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:25:48 AM
In smoke went his “impression” I fret
When a young miss he was trying to “get”
- Laughed in his face
- (was such a disgrace)
He lit the filter on his cigarette
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 295
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:26:14 AM
It was an old man named “O’Doul”
Was excessively short of his “tool”
- Says she to he:
- “That won’t that satisfy me”
“No, ‘t won’t, but it will me, ya’ fool”!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 296
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:37:52 AM
“There’s a lit match clamped onto your ass!”
To O’Flynn said the lovely young lass
- “Aye”, said he
- “ ‘t is misery
“ ‘specially when I have to pass gas!”
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 297
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 6:00:11 AM
“Be this lipstick on your collar, McNeer?”,
The question inside him struck fear
- But, a lie he’d not tell
- “ 'T was ye sister, Belle …”
He’s been buried now, for a year.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 302
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:08:16 AM
Perfection is what we strive for
At work or in our boudoir
- but if both be the same
- in the name of the game
I don’t think we’d be workin’ no more!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 303
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:08:44 AM
Airplanes, autos and trains
Their sounds rattle my brains
- but think where we’d be
- transportationally
If they weren’t around causin’ migraines
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 304
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:09:22 AM
Arrogance; egoist; conceit;
To me are NOT the elite
- Not those I’d describe
- As part of my tribe
‘T is Rejection they’ll get in receipt
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 305
view profile
History
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:27:52 AM
"O’Reilly …what’ll I do with Miss Glamour?
She’s me wife, but I can no longer stand ‘er.
- She farts all the time
- for no reason or rhyme …"
That’s easy, mate. Buy a windjammer!
Show ALL Forums  > Poems And Quotes  >