|POF LimericksPage 3 of 31 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)|
|Airplanes, autos and trains|
Their sounds rattle my brains
- but think where we’d be
If they weren’t around causin’ migraines
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:09:22 AM
|Arrogance; egoist; conceit;|
To me are NOT the elite
- Not those I’d describe
- As part of my tribe
‘T is Rejection they’ll get in receipt
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:27:52 AM
|"O’Reilly …what’ll I do with Miss Glamour?|
She’s me wife, but I can no longer stand ‘er.
- She farts all the time
- for no reason or rhyme …"
That’s easy, mate. Buy a windjammer!
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:42:43 AM
|F’er me ... I’ll have a pint of ye brew|
And draw one for me friend here, McDew
- What’s that ye say?
- I’ve not paid all day?
‘T is me job to drink! Think I'll pay for it TOO???
Posted: 2/25/2008 10:06:08 AM
|Oh, my love, you’re so sweet|
Bein’ with you’s such a treat
- But when my eyes water
- (an’ they shouldn’t ought’er)
I’m thinkin’ ya’ don’t wash your feet.
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:37:29 PM
|With farts ‘t is not volume nor size|
That most of us learn to despise
- ‘t is odor that taints
- and removes paints
Plus the pain in our waterin’ eyes!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:44:09 AM
|Thought POF meant: Point of Focus|
When two gals offered "booff-us-pocus"
- ‘t is me wallet they sought
- ‘t is me wallet they got
Now I need somewhere to go cuss
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:18:55 AM
|Heller, Skeller and Bunk|
A law firm here in LeClunk
- just liars and cheats
- no case completes
Each partner is simply a skunk!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:19:26 AM
|At last! The FINAL on me divorce!|
And … I lost everything … of course
- she’s not around
- my joys, they abound
But for income … I haven’t a source!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:34:13 PM
|I awaited, from my Doctor Quills,|
My prescription for analgesic pills
- the pills applied
- but then I died
When I received his bills.
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:39:43 PM
|Now RavinCause one must admit|
Finds the words that do befit
- the perfect time
- with good rhyme
And filled with quick, sharp wit
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:22:33 AM
|Damn! Wonder where I left my mind?|
It’s getting’ harder and harder to find
- It has to be near,
- Just used it last year
Guess it got stuck in “rewind”.
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:31:10 AM
|Bein’ Ugly’s a hard row to hoe|
Guess I’ve got to go with the flow
- but the bag o’re my face
- I must wear every place
Has a good smell inside though
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:37:14 AM
|They’re always saying: “Take naps”!|
(They in their starched nurses caps)
- But it’s hard to sleep
- Or comfort to keep
When I can’t move my straight-jacket straps!
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:40:38 AM
|Geez! Stop complainin’, you goose!|
Ya’ been doin’ that since you got loose!
- Ya’ snitch an’ ya’ moan
- Just leave it alone!
Now … put your head back in the noose.
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:47:52 AM
|“Pardon me, Miss, but … you’ve put|
Your left front tire on my foot
- Since the tire’s on your car
- I can’t go very far
With a whole ‘nother meaning to: Flatfoot!”
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:51:19 AM
|Now, see … that’s just ridiculous!|
And you’re making such a big fuss
- you’ll be just fine
- So stop it! Don’t whine!!
The tire on your foot’s on a Lexus!
Posted: 2/27/2008 7:05:52 AM
|“Would you hold this for me, my dear”?|
“Sure … be glad to!”, I hear
- she’s still standin’ there
- I guess unaware
That time’s passed … it’s been a year.
Posted: 2/27/2008 9:32:36 PM
|I’ve waited now all of the day|
For you guys to come out and play
- My eyes are all wet
- Tears in them yet
Your limericks abandoned today.
Posted: 2/28/2008 5:41:37 AM
|Of politics I’ve no regret|
They don’t get it right yet
- They haggle and spend
- Every stipend
You can tell by our national debt
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:22:44 AM
|Republicans. Democrats. None.|
It doesn’t matter which one
- They all cuddle graft
- (Most of them daft)
Can’t vote for those son-of-a-guns
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:23:20 AM
|Obama. Clinton. McCain|
I think all of them to be insane
- ‘Cause who would want it
- To run a gauntlet
‘n be hammered with much verbal pain
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:23:59 AM
|I watched the national debates|
As each candidate berates
- Their companions near
- And none do they cheer
‘Cept themselves – and their fate awaits.
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:39:09 PM
|Batman and Robin met Kingpin|
They were tied, on the road, in a snakeskin
- ‘long came a truck
- the snakeskin was struck
Now it’s just: Flatman and ribbon
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:27:09 AM
|This one i made up for my recently deceased ex-father in law, Vic Carruthers, who had an eye for the ladies...|
A fella named Victor Carruthers
Always had lots of young lovers
People asked- how d'ya do it!
He said- nothing to it!
I'm on very good terms with their mothers!!