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 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 342
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POF LimericksPage 4 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
The thing ‘bout the “winner” at dinner
With each fart the ol’ boy got thinner
- The last fart, (through his nose)
- Left only his clothes
Now there’s nothin’ left of his gender!
 pelmary
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 343
POF Limericks
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:46:37 AM
There once was a silly ole mate
Who never left food on his plate
He was fat as a house
And he had no spouse
Because he loved what he ate
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 345
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Posted: 2/29/2008 6:30:13 PM
I say: Was quite a classy chassis
On this cute, petite little lassie
- but … at the touch of me hand
- I could not understand …
Why she suddenly became oh so sassy!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 346
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POF Limericks
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:39:42 PM
Don’t touch me, you nasty ol’ fart!
I’m not some pedestrian tart!
- What’s that … 50 quid?
- Oh! Well what your hand did:
Transformed my purse to my heart!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 349
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:01:16 PM
If a lizard has a gizzard
Then a buzzard has a blizzard
- an’ if those are true
- I’m tellin’ you …
I’ll declare me self a “Wizard”
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 350
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:40:00 PM
One’s will is not shared, it’s imposed
Causing another will to be foreclosed
- And within such foreclosure
- There's our exposure
And the tyrant proceeds … unopposed
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 352
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:47:05 PM
The Lone Ranger to companion, Tonto:
“Hey! Let’s go up to Toronto”.
- “No need bein’ gabby
- Let’s go, Kee Mo Sabie”
But Silver and Scout, well, … they can’t go.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 358
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/8/2008 7:29:39 AM
I can’t get her out of my mind
She had such a gorgeous “behind”
- So … I reached out and touched it
- My action caused her fit
In my jail cell now I’m confined
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 364
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Posted: 3/12/2008 11:00:00 PM
It’s quite lonely, here in me cell
I’m not Mr. Hyde’s Dr. Jekyll
… but nice bottomed, Miss Reed,
… Has disagreed
I await the freezing over of Hell.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 365
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:40:36 AM
From prison he tried to escape
But, had the IQ of a grape
… His rocket (mis-wired)
… Quickly backfired
Now he’s all over the landscape
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 366
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Posted: 3/13/2008 6:47:10 AM
His mind was quick as a snail
(It’s why he landed in jail!)
… his hands on a bottom
… Look what it’s got ‘im:
Servin’ time o’re a San Quentin quail
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 367
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Posted: 3/13/2008 6:53:17 AM
He’ll sit and sweat in his cell
To his lawyer a story he’ll tell
… the law, not believin’
… leavin’ him greivin’
Tellin’ him to step to hell.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 368
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:53:47 AM
‘Hopin’ a court date to get
The dude hasn’t given up yet
… but low on cash
… not much of a stash
He won’t get far, I bet.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 369
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Posted: 3/13/2008 6:59:22 AM
But, he has nothin’ to fear
He’ll be out in a year
… then, they’ll be much
… more bottoms to touch
While blazin’ the “New Bottoms Frontier”
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 370
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:49:02 AM
At a reunion of her class
An award was given the lass
… from all the males,
… Abbott to Zales,
For her having such a nice … bottom.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 371
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Posted: 3/13/2008 11:00:19 AM
Now please know I’m not given to “whine”
But I’m reluctant to go dine
… With the girl of me dreams
… because it so seems
Her moustache is bigger than mine.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 372
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Posted: 3/13/2008 11:04:28 AM
Now me date was too big of hips
From eatin’ her fish and chips
… she was quite large
… as big as a barge
To “haul-ass” would take her two trips!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 373
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Posted: 3/13/2008 1:04:55 PM
So … she become notorious
Because with men she was glorious
… but the poor “Gov”
… he’d paid for love
He pulled the wool or’ all e us
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 374
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Posted: 3/13/2008 6:02:37 PM
Dear me, how do you spell: “pooh” …
Is it with double “o” … or a “u”?
… it matters not
… ‘cuz what I’ve got
Is dog sh*t here on my shoe!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 375
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:06:13 PM
Oh no! Not again, it’s me zipper!
It’s painfully caught onto my “dipper”
… I’d give half a crown
… to NOT pull it down
‘Cuz when I do … I’m … Jack the Ripper!!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 376
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:06:57 PM
Ah … the boudoir’s bidet
Now there’s an invention I’d say
… no longer a swipe
… with paper to wipe!
But … Don’t move! You’ll wash the ceiling away!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 377
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:07:25 PM
So, he said: “You’re doin’ me dirt!
‘T is with every guy that you flirt”!
… “Shut up, you twit,
… I’ll have none of it …
While, this guys’ hand’s up me skirt”
 Alyosha
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 383
POF Limericks
Posted: 3/17/2008 7:34:31 AM
There was a young woman from Warkworth
who searched for a rhyme for Essex
which she’d rather have than
an Ontario man
since the best of them were Quebec’s
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 391
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Posted: 3/19/2008 11:11:58 AM
Her hair: Red as a burnin’ flame
An’ her lip color ‘twas the same
… That Irish Lass
… Full of sass
He’s wonderin’ if she’d take his name?

Her to him: “An’ you’ve got a crust!
With courtin’ and dowery a must …
… in wooin’ I’ll not
… ever be caught
Afore me name I’d adjust!”

“Oh, me wee lassie, don’t cha’ see?
‘T is you - The woman for me
… I’ve 3,000 makers
… pumpin’ oil acres
Marry me”, he said down on one knee.

“Oh! My! I see you are sincere
My name change: It’s drawing near
… about that oil …
… could it spoil?
And … what’s my new last name, my dear?
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 395
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POF Limericks
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:02:05 AM
Scawler ...

Your wit is becoming legendary ... thorougly enjoy your posts here, and elsewhere ... PC4U
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