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 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 464
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POF LimericksPage 6 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
the leaders, well sodomy comes to mind
and hope they are the last of their kind
they'll have little to do
but join in the screw
but they will to take it from behind
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 466
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:38:13 PM
this could well be the solution
it would end up in genetic dilution
of the warmaking gene
no one would be mean
after just one generation
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 470
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:32:55 AM
So all I need is new ink?
For my rhymes to no longer stink?
but a keyboard I use
to try to amuse
so a new pen won't work, I don't think
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 474
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:06:38 PM
try as I might, tonight, to fight the good fight
there's a blight on this site, its the shyte that I write
i may be too self-deprecating
but the rhymes that I'm creating
aren't too bright, will rob your sight, will fill you with fright, and that ain't right

but now it's too late, this far you've read
and it hasn't yet exploded your head
but three more lines
and you might find
that you are already dead

they say the word is mightier than the sword
but reading mine carries little reward
my little medley
is just as deadly
as the prospect of being gored
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 476
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:14:22 AM
double entendre and innuendo
builds to a crescendo
cymbals crash
you end up on your ass
in a heap of diminuendo
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 484
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:06:12 AM
603 and 604, you guys are cleverboots.....

I drank at a wedding reception
it went down with easy deception
it was only a few
'cause I already knew
what would happen without some rejection

besides I mixed liquors all night
reaching tipsy, but drunken? Not quite
that's the worst kind of sick
if you don't learn the trick
of soda when you've hit your height
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 488
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POF Limericks
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:25:39 PM
when fishing the pond, take one
even though two could be fun
fish are slippery things
but it really stings
to be the one left lying in the sun
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 490
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:19:55 AM
my pole's in the water unbaited
a romance right now must be fated
if he's reading my writing
then he might be biting
if not then I'll live life undated



 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 491
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Posted: 6/1/2008 12:16:21 PM
As you get older it's hard to be choosy
but the last couple of fish were a doozy
so I'm guarded, I know
but a repeat would blow
if I again end up with a floozy
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 492
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:00:03 PM
since I'm apathetic, at best
I'm giving dating a rest
last romance fell apart
it was lacking some heart
I just couldn't feel, I confess

 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 494
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:42:03 AM
Perhaps an aquarium is what you need
then they can't get away, indeed
they'll have to stay
you'll have it your way
so long as you remember to feed
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 495
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:20:51 PM
But that would be like what the Austrian did
his little fish he securely hid
pretty sick
off with his dyck
there's just some things you don't do with a kid

They should cut it off in the public square
the cruelty of it makes me pull my hair
let him bleed out
the god-dammed lout
and even that would not be fair
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 496
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:36:34 PM
but I digress, I am afraid
sorry for the little tirade
let's keep it light
a fanciful flight
let's unmake the bed I've made
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 497
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:01:15 PM
I came here on a mission
to do some serious fishin'
I pulled out my pole
put the line in the hole
and now I'm just sittin' here wishin'

Fishing can be so soporific
until you land one, that's terrific
but lo and behold
if at the end of your pole
its a bottom-dweller that's horrific

and if you catch a stinker
hook line and sinker
you can't throw it back
I'm sorry Jack
that is a certain shrinker
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 499
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Posted: 6/2/2008 7:46:19 PM
did you know that a google is a number so perverse
greater than the particles in the whole universe
so what is there a google of you inquire
well if you had seventy singers in the choir
its the number of ways they could be dispersed

(that's 70! factorial)
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 502
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Posted: 6/3/2008 1:36:13 PM
Margot, you've got me outdone
I thought I was the only one
to present the new math
in rhyme, but you hath
surpassed me by umteenthillion
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 507
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Posted: 6/4/2008 9:00:31 AM
margot my hat's off to you
a numerical limerick is new
now my brain is in knots
counting zeros and dots
'cause my working synapses are few
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 509
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:58:38 PM
the most primary number is one
but I'm finding that one is no fun
two would be great
if that is my fate
that's why I am here, anyone?
 singledaddy1969
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 511
POF Limericks
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:37:24 AM
Seeking a partner for some kind of respite
looking available, but not quite at desperate
Profile made, I've thrown out the bait
Now all's left to do is sit back and wait
Posting limericks for fun? You guessed it
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 515
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:55:51 PM
In summer the postings are few
'cause we've got so much living to do
we're mowing the yard
and working real hard
on the weekend we rest and renew
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 523
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:39:35 AM
you folks don't really know summer
Southern Arizona, now that's a bummer
unless you find shade
or someplace to wade
your brain becomes dumb and dumber

its a dry heat we are fond of saying
no sweat even when you are playing
til come the monsoons
then everyone swoons
and says I guess we are staying

a dry heat, well so is my oven
but you still don't see me shovin'
my ass in there
its all I can bear
to even desire close lovin'

I don't care for one hundred degrees, egads
by September, I'm on my knees (no pads)
chugging down beer and soda
but at least it's not Minnesota
in December, I know I would freeze (my nads)
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 531
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:14:12 PM
with one side deflated, Dolly needed a pump
but the man on the bike was really no chump
he said well you know
on your nipple I'll blow
but it might make my kickstand go jump

Dolly said well give it a try
so he did and she began to sigh
you can ride on my bar
and we might go far
thus the first bike with airbags came by
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 536
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POF Limericks
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:17:50 AM
in social circles Dolly's accused of being plastic
but, I myself find that a little drastic
she may not have flesh
but she wears sexy mesh
and her supple body can be so elastic

but, alas sharp objects make her wince
only been with men who are blunt, since
she was with needledick once
and it punctured her c***
"don't pull out" was her only defense

obviously not a permanent fix
needleD's wife was due home at six
the thought made him soft
and Dolly flew aloft
and now needed a new cervix
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 542
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Posted: 6/18/2008 11:43:13 PM
I think a dolly would make me feel deflated
and only temporarily sated
no mind to explore
just a hot-aired whore
besides, woman's soft skin cannot be recreated

for the hard up and desperate that's for sure
to spend hard earned money for such a cure
to man's greatest dilemma
how to stem a
continuous stream of thoughts impure

Not that POF is proving that much better
as I sit here wasting hours, letter by letter
but at least when I'm done
I don't feel quite so dumb
as I would pretending I just met her

what bothers me the most, I suppose
is the look on her face like she's stuck on her O's
a faceless expression
or an oral obsession
I would have to bury with pillows

give me a mannequin any day
now there's a hard body ready to play
dressed to the max
in blouse and slacks
would Macy's notice her missing from their display?

of course I'd have to get out my Black and Decker
to create a space to place my pecker
or maybe grab two
a blonde and a bru
and have myself a double decker

God forbid should my orgasm stop my heart
and they found me amidst all these flesh colored parts
the headlines would read
MAN SATISFIES NEED
WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO PROP TARTS
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 544
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Posted: 6/19/2008 9:54:45 AM
best thing about a dolly collection
they don't spend all your money with indiscretion
and when you go on dates
they don't get in your face
demanding a true confession

They don't get fat from too much confections
and never refuse your hot-blooded erections
and when you are lost
they don't accost
you with "Why don't you ask for directions"

you don't have to buy them flowers
and they'll make love for hours and hours
and you don't have to fear
when that time of month is near
when women take on Hulk-like powers

But then on the other hand
because they lack real glands
you need to use lube
which ruins the mood
and their emotions are totally bland
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