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 longview43m
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 3
Why are men turned off by women with kids?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
not all us guy's are turned off by women that have kids, kids are cool, and the guy's that are turned off ,are jerks and they might just be trying to get in your pants, so any women that want a guy that loves kids ,well you know where to find me, i dont mind kids at all,(there fun )
 wbishop
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 8
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 7/17/2006 6:06:02 PM
As a single dad i am actually MORE attracted to women with kids because we share much more in common. But look around so many parents (male and female) dont want to be bothered with thier own kids much less someone elses! Its sad really because they have no idea what they are missing! and when they do it will probably be too late!!
 luckytopher
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 11
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 7/18/2006 9:55:04 PM
here's why i don't... i'm just one person.. we all have different thoughts, opinions, feelings...

i DO want kids... and i really want my OWN kids.. i want to be there from conception through pregnancy, childbirth, growing up, everything.. i don't want to just start out somewhere in the middle of all that... i also want my child to be a part of me...

for those that say you can always have another kid, i know that subconsciously i would always "favor" MY kid over HER kid for things.. whether i meant to do it or not, i'd probably treat them different... full knowing i'd be that way, and that's how i'd act, why get involved in that with the chance of causing those problems... consider yourself blessed that I would rather chance missing out on dating a great woman (which may or may not be yourself) because i know how i as a person work and react... and that you don't have to learn it the hard way later down the line...

any comments made about 'real men' or jumping to conclusions about the type/character of a man who doesn't date women with kids are just being bitter about the situation... instead of ****ing about the ones where you don't fit their personal 'requirements' (hey, we all have them.. if you say you don't, you're a liar)... move on and find someone whose requirements you DO fit

on the other hand, you must also know that being a single parent DOES make it harder and DOES eliminate you from peoples' options sometimes... just as someone who does drugs, someone who smokes, someone of another religion, someone of a different political stance, etc etc etc
 kosmopolitisch
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 26
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/3/2006 2:49:04 AM
Children are a responsibility. Dating is usually casual. Plus, its better to find people to date that have common interest. And it should be determined first if he has children or a common interest in caring for them before time is wasted... A dating mother bears responsibilities that a single woman does not... and so, much more care has to be taken on your part... and you must be willing to accept the men that are weeded out due to lack of interest in assuming responsibility of children that belong to someone else... Motherhood isn't a stigma it's just a new chapter...
 greenboy
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 29
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/3/2006 11:48:31 AM
i cain't speak for anyone but myself, but i ahve found that women that have children are easier to get along with than those that don't. women who have kids ussually don't sweat the small stuff, they know that you can't just get up and go when ever you want, they know that everthing you do has reprocusions that will effect other people and women who have kids are use to putting other people first.
but that is just my thoughts
 NPGMuSiCCLuB
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 31
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/3/2006 12:10:29 PM
I Like women better that have kids.They have been streched & got mile on them.I love that.The maturity that comes with them.kids make you grow up quick.Id rather have a 25 year old with kids then a 25 without kids.

"M.I.L.F." Is a great update for a women.
 apache_woman
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 55
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/6/2006 11:27:39 AM
Let me tell you something, My husband died over 11 years ago and left me along with two boyz to raise and they are my heart, i would give up the so called greatest guy if he could not understand that they come first, If he had a child I too would expect to be second to ALL children. even in the best of relationships, children are our future and should be first. If have not had a problem with men wanting me, only with them being true men. I would have a relationship with a man that children, I would be fair to all children, his becomes mine. If a man has a problem, it because he does not have confidence in him self or the compassion to love all children. There are men that will love your children as his own just as we would his.
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 72
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/9/2006 7:37:54 AM
my opinion on why men are turned of by women with kids...................most men want to spend a lot of quality time with the woman that he's with. he's there for the woman, not there to be a daddy or a father figure to the kids.

then you also have a woman with kids not living with her, such as myself.............the guy doesn't wanna spend his weekend with the woman when she has her kid(s), but some guys are willing to share the time between the woman and her kids.

same thing applied you all of you single dads...............but to me, i honest respect the single father a bit more than a single mother. women are pretty much trained to act as both mother and father ever since they were little girls................men on the other hand......honestly how many men can admit that they ever played house, played dolls, let alone just play tea party with a girl.......

i'm sorry, i'm from pennsylvania and there are no men around here that i can say they ever did.

therefore, men needed the training from their mother, sister, or any woman that they can feel comfortable talking with............talk about help on being a mommy just as well as a daddy.

men, don't be turned off by women with kids..................if it were you, how would you like it?
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 75
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/9/2006 9:58:59 AM
luckytxn.......the women that your father meets must be honored to be with a man with a ready made family. what i was trying to say i guess it that some men don't want a ready made family same as some of the women. i have just a bit more respect for the single fathers out there. some of the men that i know here in pa won't even think twice about changing a dirty diaper then there are the men that just won't think at all since they completely refuse to do it.

some men these days shy away from the women with the excess baggage while some women welcome the excess baggage with open arms........i myself would welcome a man into my life with or without the baggage......just as long as the baggage isn't his ex-wife.
 TxShooterGuy
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 79
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/9/2006 5:05:09 PM
I won't presume to speak for ALL men, but some of the remarks I've heard from other single males in the dating world might be instructive. One said that he was kinda intimidated by the children, since he'd had no practical experience with them. He didn't DISlike children, but he felt that there was a definite barrier to communication with them in the absence of their mother.
Another remarked that he didn't want to get into a long-term relationship for fear that he'd be taking on "instant responsibilities" (of raising and providing for the children). I know, most mothers would NOT let their BF take on that responsibility out of a sense of pride in raising their children. I'm just telling you what I've heard.
As for being reduced to being a mere "sex object" because a woman has kids, it's kinda difficult to tease that apart. Does that mean that she becomes a sex object because she has kids? Or could it mean that she was already in "sex object" territory in the guy's eyes (I REFUSE to call such a reprobate a MAN), and she just happened to have kids?

I'm mainly just relaying what I've heard, and thinking out loud with the rest. I hope that someone might find it of use.
 BIG SHELL 4X4 OFF ROAD
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 82
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/9/2006 7:51:42 PM
LOOK I LOVE A WOMEN WITH KIDS I THINK KIDS ARE GREAT I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD SON THAT LIVES WITH ME FULL TIME AND HAS FOR 1 YEAR HIS MOM COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HIM AND WHEN I TELL A WOMEN THAT I HAVE A KID THEY THINK THAT I AM OUT TO POPULATE THE WORLD NOT THE CASE I JUST WISH I COULD FIND SOME ONE WHO HAS KIDS AND SOME ONE WHO WOULD WANT ME
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 88
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:51:30 AM
if y'all don't mind......i'm going to put my 2 cents in again.............

1st off......the cow example........let me tell you, not all mother cows refuse to nurse or nurture an orphan calf. hell, i've seen it done where a cow adopted a baby pig. it was the most beautiful thing i've evern seen. it's the motherly instincts that picked up on saving the babe. i'm not saying that men or women has to pick up the slack on raising someone else's kids, it's just great knowing that someone (or something regarding the cow and pig) really cares and shows an interest.

2ndly......once a mommy, never a party girl (or something like that)? who has any right saying that mothers can't go out and party once in a while. yes, a mother has a child or children at home but she may also have the common sense not to bring it home where the children are subjected to it. when my ex husband and i were still together, we allowed "my time" without each other, without the children. that never made me a bad mom. that pretty much made me an admired mom. i never neglected my sons. "my time" was just that, my time to go out 1 day and hang out with my friends. i also had my own curfew. midnite, just like cinderella. once 12 midnite came around i had to be in my own home since "my time" had ended and the next calendar day began. just because you don't go out and party like you used to when you were single, wild, and free doesn't mean that you can't be a party girl when you have children. you just upgraded to a party girl with responsibility. being single again, being a mother, you can still go out partying with your friends. trust me, most men admire that in a woman and most men admire that in a man. like i said, "my time with responsibility"!

last but not least.....my younger son came up and said to me last week, "mom, can i play as if i'm your dad (poppy)?" i thought that was so cool! i had to ask him why he asked me that. his response was, "i would like to see who you are dating and let you know if he's good enough for you." my son, being at the age of 12 has shown that he would also be a good judge of character with men. i also don't believe in the 10 date rule. my son is my son, i would like for the man or men that i go out and meet with to also meet my son, whether it's before we go out or when i return home. my son is a part of me.............take it or leave it!
 Suddenstorm
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 93
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/3/2006 6:52:15 PM
Wow..

I guess, I had hoped for something different as I entered the dating world again. I really shouldn't be surprised, there have been people who have not liked the same thing as me for as long as I've been alive.

Still though, it sort of stings to see grown men referring to children as baggage, and discarding the potiential for different relationships because the children in the situation are not their own.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret guys. Until the baby is up and walking and talking? Primarily it's the mom's show. Now I know there are exceptions to that rule, and I am sure about a gazillion of you are going to jump up to tell me about them, but the truth is..going through the pregnancy, the birth, the first two years? You're job is to support us. You can't get pregnant, you will never have that particular bond with a child..I went through 36 hours of labor and an emergancy c-section, my ex didn't. Newborns while miracles in tiny blankets, are a lot of hard work and most of that hard work falls on the mother. Now, of course there are those rare men out there that take on their fair share of the first year of life and get up in the middle of the night to make bottles, or change diapers, or sing lullabyes..but in my experiance, the mothers tend to do that. Not only because the man has to work or whatever, but because we -want- to do it, even if we're dead tired and complaining bitterly the first time anyone else takes our child when they need something we feel like someone kicked us in the gut.

My Ex didn't have much of a relationship with my son for the first year., he wasn't as enthralled with every little movement of his hands when he was 3 weeks old, and he didn't marvel at the mere fact that he was alive when changing a diaper.(Holy run on sentance Batman!) However, now that my son is talking, and playing and becoming a boy? He is having a blast with him. Now the fact that he puts a bandana on his head and runs around screaming 'Arrr!' like a pirate enthralls his father, and they can roll on the ground and play for hours.

The point of this huge long post is this...that sometimes, what you want when you want kids? Is whats going on right now, with a kid that someone else made. Not everyone has drama with their ex's (Even if mine and I can't be married any longer it doesn't mean that he and I can't be friendly for the sake of our son) not everyone is going to expect you to shoulder more than you should, and not everyone is going to let you build a relationship with the child and then take it away.

Look, if someone doesn't want me because I've got a kid? Great..saves me the trouble of figuring out later that this isn't going to work. There are so many superficial reasons not to like me (I'm chubby, I'm too tall, I don't have a car, I like knitting..) if you can get past all of that and then discard me for my son? Then let me go ahead and thank you for not even messing with my head.
 Dreaya
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 97
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/10/2006 11:29:11 AM
I think is because they don't want to take on the responsibility of someone elses kids and they figure they will have inter act with them as well with the mother which if you want me and I have kids you are going to have except my kids as well that is what I think.
 artist_girl
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 101
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:35:48 PM
You are the real JERK!!!!
 artist_girl
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 102
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:39:01 PM
So you are saying just because a woman has children and is divorced that she can never find someone to love her again until her children are grown. And you are not so great looking yourself. So shut up!
 snglfather
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 103
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/16/2006 2:19:15 PM
I really don't think this is a Male or Female issue. I have been raising my kids alone for 13 years. Women are just as bad about getting into a relationship where the male has custody. I would even venture to guess that the same women attacking the men for not wanting to get involved with someone with children, are the same ones that avoid men with children. I don't believe it is anyones fault. As a parent, one must put the health and stability of their children first. The children didn't ask for the divorce. They are the innocent ones in the whole thing. It is harder as a single parent to find the energy and time needed to maintain a healthy relationship. I don't blame a woman if she can't handle that my kids needs come over hers. It was simpler when I didn't have kids. I could devote more time to a relationship. People want attention when they want it. Not at the convenience of a child. Maybe Dr. Laura is right on this one. You really need to wait until the children are grown before considering any kind of healthy relationship. That may be why the second marriage statistics are so bad. People settle for a relationship over a healthy relationship.
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 106
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Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:54:30 PM
Gee, what's all the fuss? Kids will grow up and move on. I really don't care whose they are, its an adventure to see them grow and rewarding to contribute to their adventure. Some of the scouts I helped are now doing some fantastic things. Now whether the mom is someone I want to spend my life with is another question.
It sure is entertaining to see the exchanges here. If a women does not want to date me because of my kids, so be it. My kids are pretty good cooks, think about it.
 anastasis300
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 118
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 4/4/2007 2:20:34 PM
Just shutup...please. Stop making stupid female assumptions about men. Geez!

Look you're a nice looking sex object, and I would probably take you seriously if I knew you better. And I could even come to like your little brats.

--A.
 badmane2
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 120
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:58:20 PM
I am not afraid to date a woman who has kids. It shows me she has a heart full of love. In fact I know who has kids. If it werent for the fact she has to leave for a better job, we would be dating. Or at least Id like too. The heart wants what it wants.
 badmane2
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 124
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 5/6/2007 5:41:58 AM
Just steak? If shes paying why not lobster? Children are fun, evan if they are someone elses. if shes the rite one go for it.
 badmane2
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 128
Why are men turned off by women with kids?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:46:16 AM
If you really love her then you should love her kids too. woman with kids are very special because they have extra love in thier hearts.
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