Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 144
Women too pickyPage 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

MAN can fix whatever's broken, BOY needs to call a handyman.


A while back, there was a very strong wind storm in my area that ended up blowing off shingles on a section of my roof, that caused leaks when it rained. I thought, no problem. I'll go buy shingles and put them on myself. Then I decided to call the insurance company first to see if they would pay to re-shingle the section of roof instead of me forking out the money.

I mentioned to the insurance agent that I was thinking of fixing the roof myself, since I can do a lot of minor repairs. but decide to call them first. The agent said that if I do any home repairs on my own and something goes wrong, the insurance company won't cover the cost of any damages, because the repairs were not done by a licensed professional that they recognize. So if I burn my house down because of an improper electrical wiring job or cause a flood because of a plumbing job gone wrong done by me, I'm on my own for the cost of damages done. So if I ever need a large reno job done on my house, I'm calling a licensed professional to do it. Does that make a boy instead of a man?
 GuitarJoey
Joined: 8/19/2015
Msg: 145
Women too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 8:54:56 AM

maleman says...

So if I burn my house down because of an improper electrical wiring job or cause a flood because of a plumbing job gone wrong done by me, I'm on my own for the cost of damages done.


Only if you're dumb enough to volunteer that info. I do most of my own work on my house (except when it comes to a breaker box or main pipe, I let professionals handle the heavy stuff), and if anything ever happened they'd never be able to prove that it was my work as opposed to the previous owner. And I sure ain't gonna tell them it was my work. ;-)
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Women too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 9:10:16 AM

RENT is a 4 letter word in my neck of the woods.

A HOME is more tolerated here.

Welcome back, Steve. :-) I wish you'd meet some women who were a little more financially savvy. Have you ever gently suggested they do some research? It does seem that many people believe that mortgaging or buying a house is always better than renting.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 147
view profile
History
Women too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 9:29:24 AM

Have you ever gently suggested they do some research? It does seem that many people believe that mortgaging or buying a house is always better than renting.


I've crunched the numbers. Renting can go a long way to building greater wealth, except in California (and Florida, and Arizona, and Nevada, and other whacked-out housing markets), where apparently few people learned their lesson from the housing bust. The entire state doesn't appear to have much financial sense.

But Clooney will never dodge his problem. The women he meets equate home ownership with security and at their age this issue is significant.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 148
Women too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 11:12:20 AM
I sort of like the idea of not owning a house.
I have this don quixote idea of being free as a bird.
I also don't seem to be worrying about security, and
I'm not sure why. Apartments don't scare me...messy
ones do though.

I don't know what too picky means anymore.
I think it's what people say when someone doesn't like
them...they're too picky...not I'm too grouchy, lazy,
or stooopid.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 149
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 11:15:49 AM
renting is great if you invest the money you save. I've known people who loved having the equity, except when you ask them what they need a loan for, a third of the time its for....house repairs or upgrades :) Sometimes its travel, but hey, if you saved up, you'd have the money already and not need to pay it back. Then again, i'm a single child who inherited a house after renting in different towns and cities I wanted to live in to see what it was like, so don't listen to my opinion :)

I was just on the phone w/ my bestie, a coworker of her's has a daughter who wants a baby desperately, can't find the right guy, is thinking about freezing her aging eggs. I will say, I think people who want a baby for the same reason they want the perfect house or the perfect Barbie lifestyle are...irritating. They don't want a partner, they want the partner who will give them that lifestyle. I knew a couple who had to declare bankruptcy just so they could have a kid. and when that didn't happen naturally, they went to the fertilization doctor. it would be neat if somehow you had to prove you were capable of having a future, before you could give birth to a child caught inside loserville.

some people just seem to want kids, so that someone will finally love them for who they are. Men as well as women seem to chose a partner not to love, but to be part of the parenting and raising this kid. They date like they're taking applications for an employee at some startup company--will you love this new creation as much as I will? forget us loving each other, we'll fake it out, somehow.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 150
view profile
History
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 11:55:42 AM

I knew a couple who had to declare bankruptcy just so they could have a kid.


I admire their dedication and willingness to sacrifice.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 151
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/14/2016 2:19:09 PM

I knew a couple who had to declare bankruptcy just so they could have a kid.


Can someone explain how that works? Most of the people I know breed without declaring bankruptcy.
 NBATipoff2015
Joined: 10/30/2015
Msg: 152
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/22/2016 6:51:22 PM
Just my 2 cents:

Renting is terrible. But so are 30 year mortgages. I bought a $40,000, and my minimum payment is much less than when I was renting. In fact, it is only $167/month while the worst neighborhoods around here will rill rent for $400. I pay more than that but its to save on interest. Just because you own a house doesnt mean that your payments will be higher than renting. Renting is good for absolutely nothing, and is essentially a scam to get you to pay off someone elses mortgage. Even if you have bad credit, there are options out there like owner financing that dont even take credit into consideration. IMO as long as you can come up with a down payment, most people should buy a home asap. As for the issue about being free, you can still be free when you own. Just rent out your house, sell it, or buy another one.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 153
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/23/2016 6:50:24 AM
just for the sake of details...the couple met, lied to each other during dating long distance about their economic status to each other (the wife confessed this to me at a NYE party), got married, she couldn't find a job of her liking in his area once she moved, they decided to have a child and would take bankruptcy to get out of college loan debt. The husband's father emailed the husband at a later date to express disappointment in his son. I guess they never did the bankruptcy, it was too much work to go thru. and I have to confess my bias, my father's business went bankrupt after I was born, so the idea of intentionally baring a child into bankruptcy doesn't rub me the right way. However, they probably love their child, and THAT is important to a child's growth.

As for rent versus mortgage, the market does shift. Rents can go up, we have cities near where I live where the monthly mortgage is low b/c the job markets there are so bad. The housing market moves around, and its an investment that lasts more than a year as it moves around. Bat is right, if a homeowner is dating and thinking of playing house, they can rent what they own. Though being a landlord isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Homeowner is a good gamble...but its still a gamble. Ask those under water. Its one of the things we have to make an adult decision about, not let our ego get in the way (my boss got into a house as a young man in order to feel a success, back with the first housing crisis bubble, around the S&L time).
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 154
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/23/2016 7:20:16 AM
"Homeowner is a good gamble...but its still a gamble."

For a lot of people who won't get a company pension when they retire or get a very small company pension, owning a home is their retirement fund. When they get too old and frail (and broke) to look after a house, they sell the house and live off of the money they got from selling the house. This is very common. I know a lot of people who bought a house when they did for that reason. Although it's more of a gamble nowadays-hoping the demand and price hasn't peaked. But people 30 or 40 years worried about the exact same thing. Back then, when the average price of a house went up to $40.000 or $50,000, people thought houses would be sitting empty because nobody would be able to afford those outrageous prices, except for the extremely wealthy.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 155
view profile
History
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/23/2016 8:08:53 AM
Home ownership is a crap shoot. Neighborhoods go bad, home repairs can eat you alive, weather ruins your investment. All included in the joys of home ownership. And it's only getting worse. Now, insurance companies are starting to demand that homeowners only hire licensed people to do their work. Not even the homeowner is allowed to do it.

What's truly BS, is that anyone with enough money can get licenced. It doesn't matter if you know what you're doing or not. Get a contractor that screws you over and does sloppy work? Too bad, you lose. Put a claim in on the contractors bond with the city- and they won't help you get anything. You're lucky if they'll even talk to you. Insurance company's reply-sue the contractor. Wanna sue us? We got good lawyers to protect us. Go after the engineer. Or the material manufacturer. Makes me want to go out and beat the life out of any insurance agent.

Your best bet is find someone with integrity, that knows how to do your work. The guy who wants a good rep, and worries about what customers say about him. Doesn't insure himself because that costs a ton, but knows that good work is his best insurance against problems coming up later. And he can pass the savings onto you.

Got questions about your fix? Start reading, there's loads of books out that help you do your job right. Go talk at your local lumber supplier. Chances are they are old contractors that did that sometime in their lives, and have nothing to gain, except a sale of materials. He knows, if he screws up telling you how to do the job, then you might not come back and buy more from him.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 156
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/24/2016 12:17:36 AM

{some people just seem to want kids, so that someone will finally love them for who they are. Men as well as women seem to chose a partner not to love, but to be part of the parenting and raising this kid. They date like they're taking applications for an employee at some startup company--will you love this new creation as much as I will? forget us loving each other, we'll fake it out, somehow}

This I agree with. Many people should not even be allowed to breed lol. Having kids is many people's way of filling a void in their life or they feel they have no identity or self worth without breeding. Sad but true.

My bf's best friend's wife was putting the pressure on him early in their marriage to get pregnant. Lol, he actually got away with "pretending to finish" for 3 months. After 3 months she dragged him to the doctors as she was worried why they weren't conceiving. She had no consideration for him not being ready to have a child. All that mattered was that she wanted a baby and she wanted one now.

Now 3 kids later and he's a borderline alcoholic. Gets shit faced at least 3-4 times a week.
Lol I would too if I had to take care of 3 brats, I mean "kids".
But then again I don't even want kids lol. No thanks =)


I think for many women (most women even) the desire to have kids is as natural and urgent as having sex is for men. It's a biological drive to reproduce - that's really why men have a sex drive, to get women pregnant. Not consciously of course, but that's why nature made us that way. You can't blame women for having these urges, just like you can't blame men for having urges to want to have sex with (lots) of women. Sure, sometimes it would be wiser not to act on those urges, but it's easier said than done. Heck, a lot of people can't even control their urges to not eat bad foods and are overweight. I never wanted to have kids, ever, found them annoying and the thought of pregnancy and giving birth repulsive. Then, at age 29, I had the urge to have kids. It was so crazy, it was almost like I had been taken over by an alien force. Everybody who knew me was more than a little surprised when I changed my tune. Now I love kids, not just mine, but all kids, even the bratty ones. I don't want anymore though, but if you get involved with a woman of child bearing age, be prepared that one day she probably wants to have kids, and she is going to want a provider. That's just how it is.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 157
view profile
History
Women too picky
Posted: 1/24/2016 4:40:38 AM
I think we're all picky to a certain degree. It all comes down to what differences we're willing to tolerate and from whom those differences are from.

We may tolerate more from somebody we're more attracted to versus somebody we're less attracted to.

Being too picky could be things that are a bit beyond the norm like:
- He must be taller than me when I'm wearing heels
- She must have at least a DD cup

Biological attraction in person can trump some things we put down on paper (profile). It's not an exact science and that unpredictability is the beauty of it.
 NewGirlJoining
Joined: 1/17/2016
Msg: 158
Women too picky
Posted: 1/24/2016 8:02:25 AM

It's not an exact science and that unpredictability is the beauty of it.


Exactly.

Falling in love can never be formulaic.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 159
view profile
History
heck, we're all too picky
Posted: 1/24/2016 11:15:05 AM

For a lot of people who won't get a company pension when they retire or get a very small company pension, owning a home is their retirement fund.

In general, it shouldn't be, though. That was one of the myths that ran for decades that buying a house was a source of financial income. Living in the house long-term, it's more like putting your money in the bank. The value of the house will go up just a slight tick above inflation. All houses/locations are a case by case basis though. Some can definitely be a great buy and a in-long-run money maker. Others can be the opposite. But in general, it should be viewed as a savings account.

For those who don't Plan on living in their house for 10+ years, it becomes more tricky. If you buy a house, then move 5 years later, ouch. You're paying rent to the bank -- your interest rate ahead of time, hardly anything on the house itself, in the first several years. So if you're not Planning on staying in the same place for over 7 years or whatever -- and if you have a good deal where you're renting, you'll want to be cautious about buying and only hold off for a good deal. In many places, that can be tough -- since the housing market's been pretty hot (and over priced in many areas this past market season).

IMO, never buy in a seller's market -- only buy in a buyers market.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >