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 justagal1
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 51
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbagsPage 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
OP...good attempt at trying to help the ladies...a little generalized and sometimes stereotypical...but your heart appears to be in the right place at least

Codex...your sense of humour is priceless...loved you wit etc from the first post here onward

Capn'...you reek of wisdom!

And now...to my two cents worth....

The obvious players..most women can spot a mile away...less she's 16 and fresh out of the starting gate. These boys are often charming, smooth...and look for all kinds of "innocent" ways to get to your zipper...as quickly as possible.

The subtle players..while often also quite charming etc...are a little more challenging to spot..less your old like me...then it gets easier

Beware of the man that tells you that he has a "busy" schedule..one so busy he can only make time for you when it seems "right" for him. One that must "plan" all visits with you..and becomes hesitant if you decide to get "spontaneous".
Beware of the man that tells you he likes you...thinks you are great...but keeps making excuses, "buying" time as it were, on getting too committed or involved. If after several dates...you keep getting the " I'm not sure what I want...I have a lot going on in my life right now...I need to get a few things in my life in order"...etc etc etc etc......beware!!
Beware of the man that showers you all too quickly with compliments...wants to meet you yesterday not next week...spends hoards of money on you...saying that he just lovvvves to pamper a woman.

And before any one jumps on me...hehe...there are exceptions to every situation...be aware of these signs and only become wary of them..if there are other warning signs ( your instincts going off like a fire alarm for example ) to go along with them.

A smart woman...as the good ole cap'n said...should ask pointed questions...find ways to test his gentlemanliness...if he says something that sends up warning flags...call him up on it. How a man answers direct questioning...( don't be like a cop interrogating though...lol)...how a man answers subleties...and how a man reacts to your answers etc....will speak volumes about him. Never be too available to the "busy" player..and you will see him for what he is quite quickly. Never be to understanding to the " I need time" player... a man that really likes you...doesn't need "time" to figure it out. Annnnd...never fall head over heels for the "shower" player...if he is "showering you so much that quickly..he is likely just trying to distract you from something he doesn't want you to see.

 halifaxwolverine
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 56
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:41:35 AM
1. Guy's with a lot of body pictures. Pics of the abs and crap. Douche bags, they only want u to like them for their body. they cant post anything else because it might require they have to talk to you, which is something they dont know how to do.

Or maybe they know that women don't read the profiles any more than men. They just click on a pic they like a lot of the time. And until you've got dialogue, they have no other way to differentiate themselves. Or maybe they don't know what they're supposed to do in this environment and they're just apeing what they see.

2. Guy's who take pics with other girls in provocative manner. Again, they want u to see that they can get a lot of girls, so why are they bothering on this site if they have girls around them all the time? They think that by showing u that that u'll be more interested...WRONG.

Or maybe they know that they often WILL be more interested. Because you look like you're living life and having fun, not sitting woodenly staring at the camera you're holding in your hand while you sit home alone wishing someone would talk to you.

3. Guy's whose interests revolve around: Drinking, working out, clubs and partying. They have nothing to offer except the fact that they always know where the keg is. If you want shallow, then thats all they are. If they cant even pretend to be interested in something that is mature then u should not try to expect an Einstein conversation with them.

Yeah. Because there aren't any women who like those things. Deep down inside, they want to be dating Einstein so they can finally put a stop to all this childish fun stuff like taking care of themselves and socializing.

4. Grammar. Guy's who cant speak like a normal person and use words that you stopped using once you passed third grade. Typo's are ok, unless it's so butchered that u cant even tell what word they are trying to say. A way a person talks shows how they act and think. Most businesses will NOT hire someone who talks like a wanna be rapper.

That's right. Spelling and grammar are the ultimate judgement of intelligence. Except my brother, who has a 4.0 GPA in university and works in neuroscience but can't spell to save his life.

5. If a guy even HINTS at sex in his first post, delete on sight (and block). The more you do this the less they will attempt it. Real guys dont want sex at first because they dont want a girl to give it up so easily. They want someone who they can know first, talk with, spend a little quality time with, and then when you are into the relationship and decide thats what you want, you can get as kinky as you want.

Of course. When you're looking for someone to date, you need to be very careful not to show any attraction or flirtation. What are these guys on?

6. Guys who write 2-5 word messages. Self explanitory, since their brain isnt focused on anything other then hiding their drunkenness. A real guy might be jaded since he can write a paragraph or two and not get a reply back (or even the dreaded "read:deleted"), but that doesnt mean "Hey baby, whats up?" is acceptable for anyone!!! A real guy will show that he READ your profile, say what he likes about you and what interests you share. If he cant even name an interest you wrote then he doesnt care about you, just your body pictures.

I must not be a real guy. Real guys write long love letters to every stranger they'd like to get into a dialogue with. Guess those women who don't have a long involved profile full of seeds for the imagination aren't even worth introducing yourself to. I know if someone said to me "Hey baby, what's up?", I'd probably say "Screw you, you insensitive ****! Where's MY love letter? Don't you know I like capoeira, dancing, playing harmonica and discussing social issues? How dare you talk to me like I'm some stranger you've never met before!"

Yeah. Put up your filters and walls, and keep judging these guys without ever talking to them and making bitter posts in the forums about "where are all the real men". Cause that's going to get you dates.
 dotzkid
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 66
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:49:46 AM
How about going through just about the same weekend and at the end of it being told thanks but no thanks things are "TOO GOOD TOO BE TRUE!!!!" WTF
It sounds to me as though your weekend was [on his part] only a test drive and he is not truly into a LTR at this time just trying on shoes!!!Stuff like that makes it hard for tHose of us REALLY looking for LTR ................... IMHO
 dotzkid
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 67
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:50:39 AM
How about going through just about the same weekend and at the end of it being told thanks but no thanks things are "TOO GOOD TOO BE TRUE!!!!" WTF
It sounds to me as though your weekend was [on his part] only a test drive and he is not truly into a LTR at this time just trying on shoes!!!Stuff like that makes it hard for those of us REALLY looking for LTR ................... IMHO
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 74
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 10/25/2006 10:59:48 PM
As a guy, I don't think the items posted indicate much.

Sure, maybe if they're all screaming out at once you might be cautious, but even then, I wouldn't say the guys' a scumbag - not even a good chance.

These strike me as stereotypes of what peopel like to think scumbags are like.

I've met lots of scumbags that don't fit any of these criteria, and ones that fit them perfectly.


What's wrong with showing off one's body? (both genders!) - sure it attracts sexual interest, but let's remember the mere inticing of one another with sex doesn't mean you're a scumbag.

Just because you like to party, I don't think that makes you a scumbag - so most of the guys in clubs and bars downtown on a saturday night having fun are scum? - why? Pictures with women makes you scum? It shows you are comfortable with being around them, and they're your friends. That doesn't mean they'll date you.

And grammar? Why? Sum peeps like 2 talk wit a little style and play a bit with the text - it doesn't make u a ScUmBAG. I play with text all the time - especially on txt messing.

It could mean the person's not as educated - but that doesn mean they're scum, does it?

The whole list is too narrow in its approach. If scumbags were that easy to detect, then women wouldn't get involved with them. People aren't that naive.

To be an effective scumbag, you can't be THAT easy to catch. And I agree with kh rock, above - older guys are definately better at it, even if they don't tend more to be scum (which they might).
 CowboyDaddy
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 75
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 10/25/2006 11:58:39 PM

1. Guy's with a lot of body pictures. Pics of the abs and crap. Douche bags, they only want u to like them for their body. they cant post anything else because it might require they have to talk to you, which is something they dont know how to do.

Or maybe they know that women don't read the profiles any more than men. They just click on a pic they like a lot of the time. And until you've got dialogue, they have no other way to differentiate themselves. Or maybe they don't know what they're supposed to do in this environment and they're just apeing what they see.

2. Guy's who take pics with other girls in provocative manner. Again, they want u to see that they can get a lot of girls, so why are they bothering on this site if they have girls around them all the time? They think that by showing u that that u'll be more interested...WRONG.

Or maybe they know that they often WILL be more interested. Because you look like you're living life and having fun, not sitting woodenly staring at the camera you're holding in your hand while you sit home alone wishing someone would talk to you.

3. Guy's whose interests revolve around: Drinking, working out, clubs and partying. They have nothing to offer except the fact that they always know where the keg is. If you want shallow, then thats all they are. If they cant even pretend to be interested in something that is mature then u should not try to expect an Einstein conversation with them.

Yeah. Because there aren't any women who like those things. Deep down inside, they want to be dating Einstein so they can finally put a stop to all this childish fun stuff like taking care of themselves and socializing.

4. Grammar. Guy's who cant speak like a normal person and use words that you stopped using once you passed third grade. Typo's are ok, unless it's so butchered that u cant even tell what word they are trying to say. A way a person talks shows how they act and think. Most businesses will NOT hire someone who talks like a wanna be rapper.

That's right. Spelling and grammar are the ultimate judgement of intelligence. Except my brother, who has a 4.0 GPA in university and works in neuroscience but can't spell to save his life.

5. If a guy even HINTS at sex in his first post, delete on sight (and block). The more you do this the less they will attempt it. Real guys dont want sex at first because they dont want a girl to give it up so easily. They want someone who they can know first, talk with, spend a little quality time with, and then when you are into the relationship and decide thats what you want, you can get as kinky as you want.

Of course. When you're looking for someone to date, you need to be very careful not to show any attraction or flirtation. What are these guys on?

6. Guys who write 2-5 word messages. Self explanitory, since their brain isnt focused on anything other then hiding their drunkenness. A real guy might be jaded since he can write a paragraph or two and not get a reply back (or even the dreaded "read:deleted"), but that doesnt mean "Hey baby, whats up?" is acceptable for anyone!!! A real guy will show that he READ your profile, say what he likes about you and what interests you share. If he cant even name an interest you wrote then he doesnt care about you, just your body pictures.

I must not be a real guy. Real guys write long love letters to every stranger they'd like to get into a dialogue with. Guess those women who don't have a long involved profile full of seeds for the imagination aren't even worth introducing yourself to. I know if someone said to me "Hey baby, what's up?", I'd probably say "Screw you, you insensitive ****! Where's MY love letter? Don't you know I like capoeira, dancing, playing harmonica and discussing social issues? How dare you talk to me like I'm some stranger you've never met before!"

Yeah. Put up your filters and walls, and keep judging these guys without ever talking to them and making bitter posts in the forums about "where are all the real men". Cause that's going to get you dates.
LOL halifaxwolverine ,

THANKS for the counter points.

Your intelligent wit is greatly appreciated.

BEST: "How dare you talk to me like I'm some stranger you've never met before!" - pretty much sums it up, IMHO.
 Ravager
Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 76
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:33:08 AM

HEY LADIES....you pretty gals....let's make a pact.......start dating the younger guys. GO for it. I will tell you why....they are more honest, but it will leave to the old guys to have to face up to thier ways when they can't get a date. DOn't knock the young guys yet. There is a movement from here to Toronto, to London, to New York.....you guys are dating and marrying up in age by like 15-20 years. I read articles in the NY TImes, ABC News....this is not just a fad, its everywhere.....start dating younger. Why not ?


I think this is a great idea!!!
 SabbyMaas
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 93
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:19:58 AM
WOW! Just how gay and insignificant are you to whip up some quick stereotypes! Listen Dr. Phil, why don't you keep your opinions to yourself and try spending more time working on your self-confidence and most likely your self image! Gay, introverted converstaion will only get you so far but in the end I am sure most women know what they want, and by the sounds of it you probably are not it! Get a life twiddledee! I am appauled that you would even try and suggest what is real and what is not! Pathetic!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 96
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:14:34 PM
GreenEyedBrat, you are smart:

Or you could just do it the old fashioned way and wait em out. It really doesn't take long for someone with a hidden agenda to drop off the radar. Generally less than a week, though some hold out longer.

Didn't know it would be only a week for most.


Here's the funny part, though: why do guys even try this stuff? That's the real puzzler for me.
dollycham, the reason men try it is because it DOES WORK. I knew a guy at university, because he had done it to a few girls I knew. He would go to the bar, grab a girl and try to maul and kiss her, get rejected, then go for another. He would typically go through about 20-30 girls a night. But he ALWAYS went home with someone. ALWAYS. As far as he was concerned, it was a successful strategy, because it worked. One night, he even got some action off a cleaning lady, just because he tried it on.


I'm a little confused by your sentance. "Unfortunately, some women are drawn to immature, self serving males, then come back for more punishment."
It's unfortunate, because if you are a friend of a woman like that, or a friend of a friend, you know that that woman will be complaining about it for the next week about it, and nothing else, and you will be getting ear-ache. And in another week or two, you will get it again, about the same guy!
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 97
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/19/2007 10:26:49 PM
yea dude you sound like your average frustrated chump, who is jealous of the cools guys that gets the girl. You need to be relieved of your duties, and go bat for the other team
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 99
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/19/2007 11:05:48 PM
Tru...."yea dude you sound like your average frustrated chump, who is jealous of the cools guys that gets the girl"

What exactly does the COOL GUY GET.......A PIECE? Just goes to show the OP is right on...RIGHT?

Guys out looking, just to get laid, think they are cool because they have a line of BS that gets them sex........and a reputation....and hopefully not a STD.

The guy seeking something of substance, a real relationship...certainly does not want that type of recognition.......He wants to be thought of as a man of substance and honor and truth. NOW THAT'S A GREAT GUY....
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 101
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/20/2007 1:46:05 AM
blah blah blah.............everything the OP said can be said for women as well. Commen sense should tell anyone to stay away from shitty people period! No one gender has a monopoly on being as$holes.
And I'm to old to play games, If I was looking for a quick hook-up, this would be last place I'd be.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 102
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/21/2007 1:04:16 AM
" If I was looking for a quick hook-up, this would be last place I'd be"

I don't know trudawg....a friend of mine shared with me......his 30 something son told him....he got more free hummmmm off the Internet dating sites than he ever got out of a bar....and he was staying pretty dahum busy.

I remember that, every time I feel some guys is TRYING to feed me a line of BS...
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 104
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 5/21/2007 10:31:23 AM
^^^^^ First of all Neighbor....if you took the time to look...this thread is almost a year old. (In reference to his being deleted)...Second of all....a man of character and honesty doesn't usually stay around these dating sites for long......some great gal is usually lucky enough to grab him up fast.....we recognize quality....

I for one, appreciate his input in this thread. Wish I had seen a post like this then I first registered on the singles sites....When I first came on I thought like myself....MOST PEOPLE ARE HONEST AND WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET....boy was i naive....My son had told me he was concerned at my getting on singles dating sites on the Internet....His comments were...Mom, you have no idea what its like there,,,,and your not worldly enough to see the games people play.

Well, I've had my education, first hand...self experienced and I can speak from experience.....There are a bunch of scum bag, dishonest, narcissistic, self centered, lying, using game p layers out there in cyberspace.

No not all, but the good folks, dont stay around long.....They find quality relationships and get on with the living life in the real world.
 Tossed_Salad
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 105
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:03:42 AM
maybe the WORST players are thsoe who POSE as "helpful" player-spotters?

(he wants to "help" you avoid ALL those other bad, bad men, and focus only on HIM>?!>?!> )


 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 112
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:48:18 AM
"Real men" everywhere are thanking you (I'm being sarcastic).

Rather than focusing on the negative, why doesn't the OP tell all the ladies why they should want HIM? Since he's eliminated any hint of sexuality, why the hell else would a woman want to hang with him? Good negative analysis?
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 114
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:50:28 AM
I have to spend so much energy trying to convince a girl im not after sex and that I really do respect a girls feelings and choices
How about just spending that energy trying to explain that the two aren't mutually exclusive.


It gets frustrating because I completely blaim these weirdo jerk guys for ruining it.
Yes, a woman that dates a jerk may have a lowered image of the entire male gender as a result, it's not right but it happens. You know what makes it worst though? False negative stereotyping such as: "90% of the guys here are immature, sex crazed losers who couldnt even hold a candle to a REAL man, let alone talk to a girl."



Real guys don't want sex at first because they don't want a girl to give it up so easily. They want someone who they can know first, talk with, spend a little quality time with, and then when you are into the relationship and decide thats what you want, you can get as kinky as you want.
Ok, first of all, men shouldn't be imposing value on how easily women "give it up"(as if women didn't want it too). You do not own these women, they have their own needs and, if they like to have a lot of sex, that's their prerogatives.

Also, what's up with number 7 being a direct contradiction to number 1. If a women takes pictures of her physical assets, she's cute and sweet but if a guy does it he's a douchebag?!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 117
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Thanks for the tips
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:35:34 AM
I think it was a great post and was written with good intent. And, unless you're a female you can't assume that the OP wasn't correct.
There ARE a lot of players, there ARE some telltale signs...but, like all stereotypes or assumptions, it's not always the case. I think the behavior you described is spot on, but the guys can be the opposite of the physical/intellecutal type you depicted.
Here's an example. Just yesterday, within the first three minutes, literally, of speaking to a guy I'd never spoken to before, he asked me if I wore thigh-highs. Instead of smashing the phone down, I just asked him if he thought that question was cool to ask someone he didn't know. His answer? "Yeah, I know "thousands" of girls who wouldn't think there was anything wrong with that question."
The irony, OP, is this guy doesn't fit the stereotype. He's not a muscle-head, he's very eductated, a business professional, and an arrogant prick.
So, your post was great; your intention is appreciated, I think you're on the money in a lot of what you said...but unfortunately these "types" of guys are wrapped in all different poses...
And, for the women who don't think there's anything wrong with the question, or the guys who think that question's cool too...LOL...cool. If that's the "footing" (sorta pun intended) you want to start off on...then that's fine. To me, there's a difference between flirting with someone you don't know and asking questions that convey an entirely different vibe...
 Wyatt Earp1
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 118
Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:28:48 PM
codex1977(d2240029) on 7/21/2006 821 PM


Subject: Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Message: Also, if you profess a dark, inveterate desire to eat firstborns after an elaborate ritual, then it may be a no-go. Posting pics of you in the act, although interesting in some craven circles, may only worsen matters.
==========================================================


Wearing capes and going "koo koo ca do! I am the Walrus" is another hint. Anyone frothing from the mouth, too thirsty (meds do that) or has a metal Pirate claw (you don't know where that "hand" has been!) also might be unwanted men.

Let's not forget men with two p enises, men with excessive hair in ears, Men from Mars, Men escaped from Mars, Men who really belong on Venus, and the worst of the worst-men who speak better *gasp* than women! Oh the horror, the horror...

Ladies watch out for men who act like men and only date men who act like women...?
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 119
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Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:52:24 PM
The OP is gone...
But the "warning" remains the same...
:)
 calypsoct
Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 120
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Thanks for the tips
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:14:19 PM
Evansp - I'm sorry but if a girl has two brain cells to rub together, she knows all your "tips" already, and also a bunch you havent' listed.

In all honesty - the fact you took the time to write an elaborate post dissing other guys on the site makes you look insecure and frankly very unattractive. . You don't raise yourself up by putting others down. Be yourself, and dont' worry about the other guys out there.
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