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 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 184
Why Men Love BitchesPage 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Whitetigeress, Have you found that to be true? Just wondering.
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 185
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:30:36 AM
Dreamerxoxoxo,

No need to apologize for speaking your mind. I agree with much of what you said. I only wish you'd acknowledged how much unkind, derogatory stuff about men appears in both the profiles and the forum posts of many women on this site. It's a little depressing for me to see so much of it--like you, I thought this was a dating site!

I could ask the same thing you did, only about why these *women* are even here. I could also speculate, as you did with men, whether it was these women's way of retaliating for what life had dealt them.

From what they say, it seems some women think that whatever grievance they have against men somehow *justifies* them in acting badly toward any given man. Not in my book, it doesn't. I don't much care for--or trust--chronically resentful people. And that's what self-appointed victims inevitably are, whether they consider themselves victims because of their sex, race, religion, or whatever. Well, they can just get over it--lots of people have had worse breaks.

The irony is that when these "victims" happen to be women, their hostility makes many men consider them bit**es. But actually, they are the exact opposite of the sort of "bit**" this author seems to be encouraging women to be.

Incidentally, I'd guess the tricky title was an attempt to make the book stand out from its thousands of competitors.
 qriosity
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 188
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:52:58 AM
Cuz bit-ches are a man's best friend.
 littleaudrey
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 190
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:09:59 PM
I have read this book. There is SOME truth to it.

The title is deliberately inflammatory. It's not really about men loving ****es. It's about men being more likely to fall for women who respect themselves, which is pretty true. I have noticed that when I pursue a guy, he seems less interested, but when I lay back and let him pursue me, he doesn't stop calling. Men always say that they love when women pursue them, but in my experience, they like being the pursuers, whether they're aware of it or not.

Basically, the book says that men will walk all over women who allow themselves to be walked on. This is true. I have seen men go above and beyond to please a demanding girlfriend and I have seen men say "oh, I'm only an hour late, she'll be waiting" about a sweet and agreeable girlfriend.

Something that annoys me on PoF forums is that many men actively seek to canonize themselves on these boards. I'm sick of guys complaining that they're "nice guys" but won't touch fatties, "nice guys" but won't pay for McDonald's, "nice guys" but won't date women their own age, "nice guys" but run screaming if their date has a kid. Luckily, I am engaged to a real nice guy. Someone who always pays. Someone who holds the door for old MEN, not just young foxy ladies. Someone who gives his seat up on the bus to pregnant, disabled and elderly people. Perhaps if more guys truly were "nice guys", we wouldn't need books like this one.
 MissTique II
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 191
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:45:39 PM
Only the Ones that are WELL TRAINED LOVE their B!TCHES
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 192
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:21:49 PM
Littleaudrey,

About the last part of your post--are you saying that you've seen guys on here claim they were nice, and also wouldn't "touch fatties," "pay for McDonald's," etc.? Just curious--I wouldn't think that a woman wasn't nice just because preferred not to date fat guys, or preferred guys who were somewhat older or younger than she was. Would you?
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 193
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:36:48 PM
The same reason why women like the "bad boys".



Something that annoys me on PoF forums is that many men actively seek to canonize themselves on these boards. I'm sick of guys complaining that they're "nice guys" but won't touch fatties, "nice guys" but won't pay for McDonald's, "nice guys" but won't date women their own age, "nice guys" but run screaming if their date has a kid. Luckily, I am engaged to a real nice guy. Someone who always pays.


Not dating fat women, women with kids, or women around his age doesn't make a man a jerk. Maybe he isn't attracted to fat women. Maybe he isn't interested in raising a child at this point in his life. That's a big committment. Maybe a man is generally more compatible with older or younger women. Also, many men don't mind paying. But a man should NOT be expected to pay the entire bill. If a man was a jerk during a date, but pays the entire bill, Does that all of a sudden make him a nice man?
 littleaudrey
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 194
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:53:46 PM

About the last part of your post--are you saying that you've seen guys on here claim they were nice, and also wouldn't "touch fatties," "pay for McDonald's," etc.? Just curious--I wouldn't think that a woman wasn't nice just because preferred not to date fat guys, or preferred guys who were somewhat older or younger than she was. Would you?


I would think the same of her as I would a man, and would have no pity for their singlehood. You give a little, take a little. I suppose it's that I find it so foreign that people judge others by things that seem irrelevent to me. So, my fiance is a few extra pounds and isn't well off, but he is a gem who loves me and treats me well, who spent every penny he had to take me to the ritz carlton for my birthday and got on one knee and proposed to me. I am the envy of my single friends (and some of my taken friends, too), and I have never equated love with superficial junk. No, I don't tend to associate with the types of people who judge a person by their height, weight or wallet and I'd be loathe to call anyone like that a friend, regardless of gender.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 195
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:47:05 PM
No, I don't tend to associate with the types of people who judge a person by their height, weight or wallet and I'd be loathe to call anyone like that a friend, regardless of gender.


There is a huge difference between judging someone and not being attracted to them. I wouldn't date fat men because I'm not attracted to them. However I wouldn't be rude to fat men just because of their weight. There are some men who have turned me down because they are attracted to larger women. I wouldn't consider them to be rude.
 filet-n-release
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 196
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:54:05 PM
my last girlfriend was a true nasty one with her mouth. some of the things that came out of it in arguements, a baseball bat upside the head would of done less damage.
 TheEmeraldTeardrop
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 197
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:04:57 AM
I've read the book and it's basically manipulation.

Unfortunately most women, and they don't want to hear it, aren't attractive enough to pull this off.

Men will put up with a lot if you are hot enough. Most women just aren't hot enough.
 midwesterndude
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 198
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:12:52 AM
Says the pretty young lady with who's been favorited 491 times. The truth sears this thread like a branding iron...
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 202
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:29:45 AM
I loved Sadie. For 12 years she walked right beside me and was always ready to give her life for me. For 12 years she never asked for anything but food and never shunned my affection. What a ****.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 208
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:15:12 PM
lawman Great post. You seem like someone who thinks for themself, not a sheep.

I admit, I did pick up this book at the library. Didn't read it, skimmed through it. The title is just that, a "hook" to get people to buy the book. My daughter did read it, so I got the meat of it from her. She's a very sharp young lady (not to MY credit) I do trust her judgement.

I think lawman pretty much nailed it, from what my daughter said. Women that don't tolerate BS, are not vulnerable to being manipulated or schmoozed. Speak their mind in a very direct, forthright manner, yet are still kind, soft hearted, compassionate, gentle with people's feelings, a decent human being that cares about people but unafraid to speak up and call it as they see it. It does have a ring of cliche to it, but I'd much rather someone know what I think or how I feel than have to guess, or try to decipher clues or hints.

If men and women would just communicate more freely and openly. It's one of those eventualities that sometime, if you spend enough time with a person you'll know what they think and feel and how they react anyway and when it comes as a surprise or from out of the blue. Well me personally, I wonder why they didn't just cut through the fluff. Okay....good to know, wonder why they didn't express that sooner.

I believe that when people know, knowledge is a great thing, it enables all of us to make better decisions. Knowledge makes communication much more valuable, it's a shame that there's barriers to fear of well if I said that...what will they think. It's called relationships because it's based on relating. How can someone relate to someone when they don't know what they think or how they feel? Not just romantic, but ALL relationships, the same principles apply to all relationships.

Here's how I think it happens. We meet someone that we may want to or have (romantic, friends) or have to have a relationship with (family, work). The mind, conscious or subconscious constructs the "this is how I want that person to think of me". And then carefully a person molds themselves to fit that "construct". It can work for a time, but sooner or later, there's a revelation that doesn't fit the construct and there's confusion.

We don't fit someone else's mold of the "ideal" ....fill in the blank. Boss, coworker, neighbor, friend, significant other....oh yes, parent, child, sibling. People get caught in the inconsistencies of their "construct" and it's not often a great thing, but does provide something to talk about.

The "****" book, if I had to summarize, is about avoiding the constructs, not trying to fit a mold or image but being real and true and giving the other person the chance to either like, love, accept that's who you are or not. At least they're making a decision based on good, accurate information. That just seems to make sense to me.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 216
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:41:19 PM

The name **** in this book means being sweet like a Georgia peach with a strong unbreakable pit!! It is in no way a book about being rude, arrogant,demanding or any other form of ugliness.


Yes the title is "gimmicky" and in no way reflects the content of the book. It's about women that have an intact self esteem, not about whining, controlling or manipulative egomaniacal, high maintenance women at all. This is truly an example of judging a book by it's cover.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 217
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:19:10 PM
I do love women that are willing to be themselves in relationship as well as let me be myself. Not having to put on a show just to go somewhere. I'm one of those Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals all the time kinda people and don't believe it's needed to dress up in slacks just to take her out some place common, especially for a walk down on the beach. Relationships are not about tempering others to be someone they aren't just so cover for your own "shortcomings". Where does it get fun anyway to make them how you want them to be? I mean do they have to think exactly as you want them, dress a certain way, etc... just to make you happy? That's not love... Being in total control of yourself doesn't mean controling others, especially trying to be cunning about doing it... We are all freedom at the very base of our nature. Any time you try to hinder that freedom beyond a certain limit, it's guaranteed we all will rebel to the extent we feel confined. No one ever loved doing what they were told they "had to" do even if they originally loved doing it...
 becca0715
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 218
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:47:35 AM
men love ****es because then they don't actually have to put forth any effort to be kind or giving..the ****es aren't obviously kind or giving, so therefore they see no need to do the same...makes perfect logical sense on some planets i guess..so...maybe the real question should be 'why do ****es wanna be ****es, and how can men learn to be kind humans'...novel idea huh?..rephrase the question and get some relief from all the ridiculous theories that are floating out there in this so called forum land...
 vetjeb1
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 220
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:25:24 AM
I've not read the book but the title will sell books. While the concept of how to avoid the emotional heartbreak might be great in theory but as the H stands for HER "SELF" is the problem in the relationship to begin with. If "self" is all that is considered in the relationship it won't work. Maybe better reading would deal with the "we" or "us" aspects of how to treat others. Since I didn't read the book maybe that is what it does but the other posts makes me think not. Good luck to all!!!
 feedem
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 221
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:34:39 AM
Why would'nt a man enjoy an indepenent woman that enjoys dinner and sex once or twice a week? I suppose it would be her attitude......
 try2bhappy
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 222
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:09:20 AM
Cause they are cute, cuddly and give me a lot of love, and next month they are both due their rabies shots. Life would be dull without them.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 223
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:22:33 PM


men love ****es because then they don't actually have to put forth any effort to be kind or giving..the ****es aren't obviously kind or giving, so therefore they see no need to do the same...makes perfect logical sense on some planets i guess..so...maybe the real question should be 'why do ****es wanna be ****es, and how can men learn to be kind humans'...novel idea huh?..rephrase the question and get some relief from all the ridiculous theories that are floating out there in this so called forum land...


That may be one view of it, but no one really likes to spend most of their time both men and women alike taking care of someone else who is quite capable of being their own person, thinking for themselves, etc. I mean what's going to happen if one of them is always taking care of the other, then has to leave for like a week to an overseas business trip or something where they can't be there... how is the person going to know what to do if the other was always there to make the decisions and everything all the time? Yet it always seems to be the guy's fault for any reason when things go "wrong" and turn out the way they do in a relationship, having to take responsibility for every little thing that goes "bad". So where is the true equality that keeps being talked about so much?
 pen city guy
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 224
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:50:04 PM
well i have not read the book.. but i do not like ****es, but i can not speak for every guy.. hey!!! may be thats why i'm not married any more..
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 225
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:20:49 AM
Men who loves ****es...are looking for a mother figure. No true man would let a woman become the man in the relationship. The other reason ..is that most men..have low esteem...if they let this woman go...this ****...they don't believe they can;t get another PY
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 230
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Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:42:46 AM
I don't get it either. But every man I have ever dated has held onto the memory of the woman that treated him like crap like she was a goddess.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 234
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:01:10 AM
We tend to admire people who have qualities we lack. Another person being more assertive than ourselves can make a person feel as if they're adding something to their life that makes them more complete when they have a relationship with them. Indeed, sometimes they are... but then it depends on how strong that personality is...
They (and we ourselves) always know what magic buttons to push when we want to win someone as a mate... but I think it's a good idea to observe how they treat others as well... and ask yourself if they're fair, considerate, honest, etc... because you CERTAINLY will be treated like that when the newness wears off.
I also think that to select a good mate, a person has to have a good opinion of themselves and require that a person they're with must have good qualities other than just making one feel like "a natural man" or "natural woman"...
Many times people who do that might think of you as "one of the guys" or "one of the girls" or something like that, and not appreciate your own individual qualities anymore than you do.

Respect and appreciation are knowing and liking a person's individual qualities as well. Without that, it's impossible to have a good LTR. It will always come up.
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