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 AUTHOR
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 133
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
ajfredz...fact is if you KNOW she's hoping for more and you still use her for sex in a FWB situation! it's WRONG you are USING her....be a man and have the strength here...ugh....



Guys like YOU are the reason the FWB title gets a bad name....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 134
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/5/2010 4:51:45 PM

Clear? If I stated, "I am so hungry I could eat a horse" how would your imagination respond?

MY imagination would wonder how the hell you were gonna eat ANYTHING with your foot stuck in your mouth the way it is.
Cindy O
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 135
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/5/2010 5:38:45 PM

Posted By: ladyc4 - MY imagination would wonder how the hell you were gonna eat ANYTHING with your foot stuck in your mouth the way it is.


You have a very one track imagination! Pure negativity!
Good thing I am not on trial! I would surely go to prison without a fair hearing!

Cindy O, I have been with one woman over the last ten years. Please back up your statement with facts not bitterness for men!
 ProfileOfTheYear
Joined: 4/2/2010
Msg: 136
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/5/2010 11:37:08 PM
ah! gotta love FWB's!
Any woman that I can spread and bed without spending outta pocket cash is a FWB's.
Love-um & leave-um...
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 137
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/5/2010 11:41:51 PM

fact is if you KNOW she's hoping for more


How bad is this girl "hoping"? Damn, if there is a girl out there "hoping", please tell her to call me.


and you still use her for sex in a FWB situation! it's WRONG


I am using her? I will ask my ex-girlfriend of 10 years if she knows who you are talking about, coz I have no clue. Puzzled?


you are USING her....

I am using who? Please be more specific! Names please?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 138
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 2:26:13 AM

I am using who? Please be more specific! Names please?


Your own words were:


My own personal experiences; a friend with benefits would be a girl that really digs the hell out of me, but I don't feel the same about her. When I have the urge, she is always there to satisfy, however, she is always hopeful that one day I will fall for her too. Unfortunately for her, that day never comes. This type of situation is usually short lived and when I finally meet someone that I truly want to be with, the FWB is cut-off rather quickly.



So are you just a troll trying to stir it up or what?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 140
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 9:59:59 AM

In a genuine FwB, it's well understood by both parties that this interaction is not going to "progress" to some "higher level", even if it continues for quite awhile, or tends to re-occur as curcumstances permit.

Exactly. It ain't romantic, but it ain't supposed to be. It's an arrangement that's ok with both sides. Period. If one person starts catching feelings, the arrangement becomes null and void and must be either ended or renegotiated. It's not cool if both people aren't benefitting from it, basically.

The fact that you somehow think that the scenario you've outlined is perfectly fine, and is a real FwB, makes me doubt the "unfortunately for her" part. How is losing someone who is only PRETENDING to be a "friend", so he can use you, "unfortunate"?

Exactly. I have a friend who's been in a situation like that for a while with a guy she met during her divorce. Let's just say he's not even close to tactful about other women, or where she stands in his life. I once asked him how he feels about her attachment, his response was "eh, she knew what she was getting into when this all started - she could date/talk to other guys but she chooses not to." I watched him straight out tell her that if she saw a guy she was intersted in while they were out, that she should talk to him - just as he does when he sees a girl he likes.

I don't care if someone knows what they're getting into - if you know they are hanging on hoping you'll end up in a serious relationship, it's your responsibility to break it off. Even if that person is lying and telling you they don't want more, if you know they are - it's not really consentual, and therefore should be terminated.
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 141
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 11:29:05 AM

post 146 - ajfedz: this is your 'opinion' based on your 'understanding' or 'interpretation' of what I actually mean.


Savona, and jco415, you 2 are closed minded people that are stuck on stupid! When someone makes the above statement, it is only common decency to ask the person to explain in detail. This is how open minded, fair and intelligent people discuss matters!


I am right there with you jco415.

I don't have enought time to respond in the way I want to, but man whore is a word that comes to mind. User man whore. This is the furthest thing than FWB ... a FWB person is actually a FRIEND, perhaps you shoukld go and look up what that word means.

Admit it you are only using, not friends, not with those women you are just using those women. My Gawdddddd please grow a set and admit it and quit defending man whore actions.

Karma is your friend.


Savona, coming from a woman who screwed their X over, and now after 20 years, is begging for him to come back - look in the mirror coz karma is your friend as well!
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 142
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 11:38:30 AM

So are you just a troll trying to stir it up or what?

No, it appears that YOU are the pot calling the kettle black!
Nothing more frustrating than debating people with less intelligences than I!
 ProfileOfTheYear
Joined: 4/2/2010
Msg: 143
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 12:16:24 PM

Savona, coming from a woman who screwed their X over, and now after 20 years, is begging for him to come back - look in the mirror coz karma is your friend as well!


Open casket, jump in, close casket, nail casket shut!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 145
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 1:46:53 PM
ajfedz,

a friend with benefits would be a girl that really digs the hell out of me, but I don't feel the same about her.

That can happen, sure. Or vice versa and the guy's willing to be FWB and take what he can get. Or they both don't dig each other well enough for a relationship, but find each other sexually satisfying.

When I have the urge, she is always there to satisfy, however, she is always hopeful that one day I will fall for her too

Is that a requirement? What if she's not hopeful one day you will fall for her? What would you call her then? Whether you like it or not, she'd still be a FWB if everything else was the same.

However though -- always there to satisfy? I think what you're describing a F*CK BUDDY, in which a gal can't even get to be FWB with you, let alone a relationship.

This type of situation is usually short lived and when I finally meet someone that I truly want to be with, the FWB is cut-off rather quickly.

Yeah, I think FWB situations are usually temporary, because all it takes is one person to find someone. And F*CK BUDDIES tend to last a short while as well.

You're describing a F*CK BUDDY, not FWB.

A F*CK BUDDY is someone that is on-call for satisfaction (and vice versa). Think about it. A bar-buddy is someone you just meet up with at the bar when you feel like going to the bar. It's restricted more or less to just that -- the bar. A F*CK BUDDY follows the same suit -- for just f*cking.

A FWB is someone who is a friend... not just for F*CKING.... but action in the bedroom is an added benefit. Have you ever had a FWB? Someone you could honestly consider a friend that you JUST don't have sex with... but will periodically have sex with on the side?
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 147
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 2:28:31 PM

Posted By: Confident-Realist

1. I think what you're describing a F*CK BUDDY

2. You're describing a F*CK BUDDY, not FWB.

3. A FWB is someone who is a friend... not just for F*CKING.... but action in the bedroom is an added benefit.

4. A F*CK BUDDY is someone that is on-call for satisfaction (and vice versa).


Wow, you are an expert in your field, eh?

F*ck buddy? FWB? Casual Relationship? Intimate Encounters?
Sounds pretty much like the same thing with a different label on it!
Now, how many different labels can you slap on a can of paint?

As Bill Clinton said: I did not have sex with that women!

Question: what constitutes as sex?
1. Head or
2. Spread
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 148
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 3:48:44 PM
I smell a troll......
 KingRomanticRebel
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 150
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 7:25:43 PM

Posted By: jco415 - When I have a fwb it's agreed that we're exclusive until one or both find someone with potential....


Wow, two horny people, just using the hell each other to get off!


If that someone has enough potential to be having sex with then it's time to put a hold on the FWB thing...


So when you find someone else to scratch your itch, what happens to the 'friends' part of the FWB? Obviously from your statement - a friendship never really existed at all!
 ProfileOfTheYear
Joined: 4/2/2010
Msg: 151
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 7:40:14 PM
Savona writes:


Its a messed up world we live in, no wonder finding a REAL relationship is so nearly impossible. Very discouraging to say the least.


Yes Savona, when we get older, it does in fact add to the equation.
Now I understand why you are some desperately wanting ~D~ (the x-husband) back again!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 152
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/6/2010 7:43:13 PM

F*ck buddy? FWB? ... Sounds pretty much like the same thing with a different label on it!

No, they're not. Nobody has to be an expert to realize that there is a difference in classification.

When someone is just there for house-calls of banging (f*ck buddy), you have a different situation going on than someone you're friends with and in ADDITION to being friends, you periodically do it as ONE of your activities. One can split hairs over the difference, but I'm not going to -- I know there can be gray areas.

But what you described wasn't a gray area, which what I was referring to. What you had was seemed to fit all descriptions of specifically a f*ck buddy, but not all descriptions of a FWB -- because "benefits" was the only thing you had going on with them. The "with" in FWB indicates that the benefits is a side-dish (a tasty one at that) -- but not the whole entree. A f*ck buddy is the whole entree. Pretty simple concept of understanding.
 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 154
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 4:54:01 AM
I’m a bit late posting again to this worn out and by now completely off topic thread but this bit of BS just slays me:


I don't have enought time to respond in the way I want to, but man whore is a word that comes to mind. User man whore. This is the furthest thing than FWB ... a FWB person is actually a FRIEND, perhaps you shoukld go and look up what that word means.


Time alone wouldn’t provide any thing to something so flawed and headuptherearitis as displayed by such downright dumb “thoughts”! The real fact is this “friends with benefits” is nothing more than an euphemism for no strings sex, casual sexual partner, etc etc etc which also includes the “f*ck buddy” these days. Yet somehow so many delusional types run too far trying to emphasize there IS a difference, that an aspect of friendship exists in these things. Perhaps women alone try to push this new definition since in general they seemed so concerned casual or NSA sex somehow makes someone a “man whore” or a whore. Another fact is a whore does it for money---at least cast the right aspersions please?

Those of us a certain age will remember even in the 1940’s and 50’s these same situations existed but were called “relationships of convenience”---another euphemism that gave way to others and now coming to “friends with benefits”.

IF someone believes they’re having sex and yet no declared relationship yet they behave as “friends” well sorry to wake y’all up but you ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP! Calling it something else like Friends With Benefits shows a huge inability to engage in and accept some behavior, fearing what others might think. Yes by all means search a dictionary for the meaning of “friend” but NOWHERE will it include casual or NSA sex as a component---stop deluding yourself!

Those of you trying to now create “classifications” of these situations are either just plain nuts or living in bubble of foolishness, desperately needing some justification to enjoy yourselves, putting a “nice” name on something that a is a huge error and/or misconception. Friends With Benefits are now classified as “better” or at least different from a F*ck Buddy-----who you trying to kid---besides yourself that is? Over ANALyze much?


Yes finding a REAL relationship is so nearly impossible to find today.



No they’re really not unless there is something wrong or amiss with someone who believes this to be the case. Posting histories here can be quite revealing..........


I do remember your private letter to me and it sure wasn't in the fashion of writing to me on the threads .. but hey I can understand your wanting to show one side of you in a private letter and one side of you in the public forums. That can be quite normal.


This ^^ is VERY true! In fact I’ve saved a few private messages once sent me about an OP titled “The Go To Guy”---my gawd the private email I received would peel paint from a wall. Same thing there---all polite and “nicey nice” out in the open but once out of sight the bitter, angry, vitriol contained there STILL heats my saved files! Normal to hide ones true self here----yes because I too have proof of such dual presentations! Watch what is posted here---it tends to be part of the permanent record and of course some people save things too!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 155
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 6:29:02 AM
Generally:

FWB - requires an already ESTABLISHED and trusted friendship in which sex is added (and subtracted should things change) as an agreement for both parties. The friendship is the main focus, thus the letter "F" - used here for the word "Friend".

FB (NSA) - No established friendship and no interest in developing one. Contact is made, sex happens, people go their separate ways unless/until the next contact. Sex is the main focus, thus the letter "F" - used here for the word "Fvck".

While neither is constructed with an actual serious relationship in mind, there is still a big difference between the two. Now sure, some people like to twist these and use one for the other if they think it'll get them what they want, but they are nevertheless called what they are for a reason.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 156
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:24:55 AM

Those of you trying to now create “classifications” of these situations are either just plain nuts or living in bubble of foolishness, desperately needing some justification to enjoy yourselves, putting a “nice” name on something that a is a huge error and/or misconception.

I disagree with that. Sure, some people can label just about anything in this world falsely for their own benefit.... but FWB or a F*ckBuddy or a casual relationship or an open relationship or a serious relationship, etc., are short-cut ways to describe the situation they are in with someone. Others want to know what's up with you and Sally... and heck, many people themselves wants to know what's up with them and Sally. What someone's got going on with someone else varies a lot. By your rationale, would someone be nuts, in a bubble, or needing justification for pleasure by classifying themselves as married vs a serious relationship?

If someone believes they’re having sex and yet no declared relationship yet they behave as “friends” well sorry to wake y’all up but you ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP!

In some sense, sure. You're in a relationship with your family members, bar-buddies, close friends, co-workers, etc. I agree it's not about "declaring" a relationship to make something a relationship in ANY sense. In the sense of the boy-girl world, an "established relationship" would be one that's established by what they do -- and them being a couple by what they do (not merely declare). Not merely friends who hang out a couple times a week among other friends, and once in a while fooling around when the sun goes down afterwards. I think a lot of people can start out as FWB, and think they're still FWB because there's no "declaration", but actually BE in a "relationship" whether they like it or not -- that I totally agree. It's not what you declare, it's what you do and have been doing. With that said though, that doesn't mean two people's relations would equivocate to being a couple just because they hang out some and hook up some. But IMO, it can bleed awfully close to that if too much time is spent, and can certainly bleed into a casual, open relationship rather quickly (where there's not much difference).
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 157
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 10:40:01 AM
Cindy O, I have been with one woman over the last ten years.


I will ask my ex-girlfriend of 10 years
Are you saying you boinked this woman for 10 years, letting her THINK/HOPE that "someday (you) will fall for her?" Why is she now an 'ex'?


Please back up your statement with facts not bitterness for men!

LOL...the way you are lashing out at every poster who pointed out your MISUSE of the term FwB,would seem to indicate that a nerve has been struck or else you are trying to cover your EMBARRASSMENT about being caught out trying to sell a booty-call deal as a FwB.
Friends don't intentionally lead friends on in a situation that will likely mean heartbreak for the friend.The other possible, and just about as ugly, connotation here would be the intentionally one-sided relationship,where a person creates a relationship with someone they don't much care about(maybe even somewhat dislike!)because that other person cares DEEPLY.Just another form of using someone.
In a genuine FwB, if there's a facet of "using" involved at all, it applies equally to both parties. Otherwise, if someone intentionally takes advantage of someone else's greater romantic interest/intent/hopes, it's nothing BUT using the more infatuated person.
You've been flat caught out as a CAD...now you are trying to cover your chagrin and embarassment by making largely baseless attacks on the posters who called you on it.
Cindy O
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 159
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 3:26:01 PM
Hmm any women out there interested in being my FB or FWB?
 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 160
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 3:57:48 PM

FWB - requires an already ESTABLISHED and trusted friendship in which sex is added (and subtracted should things change) as an agreement for both parties. The friendship is the main focus, thus the letter "F" - used here for the word "Friend".

FB (NSA) - No established friendship and no interest in developing one. Contact is made, sex happens, people go their separate ways unless/until the next contact. Sex is the main focus, thus the letter "F" - used here for the word "Fvck".

While neither is constructed with an actual serious relationship in mind, there is still a big difference between the two. Now sure, some people like to twist these and use one for the other if they think it'll get them what they want, but they are nevertheless called what they are for a reason.


I don’t see this at all WIP—sorry even though this ^^ seems well thought out. I’d ask those who bandy these oft-used terms around when did they become so well known or codified as you describe? I’ll have to disagree that the element of “friend” as I define that is NOT that big a part of the FWB’s FB’s or whatever we call them---and that’s maybe just me.


I disagree with that. Sure, some people can label just about anything in this world falsely for their own benefit.... but FWB or a F*ckBuddy or a casual relationship or an open relationship or a serious relationship, etc., are short-cut ways to describe the situation they are in with someone. Others want to know what's up with you and Sally... and heck, many people themselves wants to know what's up with them and Sally. What someone's got going on with someone else varies a lot. By your rationale, would someone be nuts, in a bubble, or needing justification for pleasure by classifying themselves as married vs a serious relationship?


Sorry dude you too are over analyzing this----why is it necessary to or for anyone BUT those directly involved to know what goes on between two people? Trying to pin a label on something just for the benefit of “others” has never made sense to me. Are we to tell the parents of our FWB’s or FB’s what we’re doing---their children, co-workers?? When or where does this supposed requirement to name something stop? Before this morphs once again in another crazy direction I have to almost sadly say “married” and/or “serious relationship” tend to be more widely accepted at having certain dynamics and constructs; FWB & FB I still maintain are nothing more than euphemisms.

I will agree our actions define our relationships regardless how we try spinning the name or label applied. This is where so many seem to lose track of what’s really going on.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 161
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:35:05 PM

Sorry dude you too are over analyzing this

My lingo may sound over-analytical, but it's pretty simple. A f*ck-buddy situation wouldn't be the same as an engagement. Classifying a situation by description is no different than describing "where we stand", when that topic comes up.

why is it necessary to or for anyone BUT those directly involved to know what goes on between two people

Okay, you're jumping all over that, but let me make it clear -- that wasn't my point, nor was I trying to imply that it was particularly necessary. But knowing where you stand IS necessary, yes, between the two people.

As far as to convey to others, yeah, if you don't know between the two of you, how would you tell one of your friends about it? Not all people keep their mouth shut about how things are going and where things stand with the girl they met some time ago.

If I say in my profile, "I'm looking for a f*ck buddy", girls should only raise an eyebrow because categories are meaningless? But otherwise just be confused because a living-together relationship could be considered the same way?

FWB & FB I still maintain are nothing more than euphemisms.

They're descriptions, just like "serious girlfriend" or "non-serious girlfriend" can be. Just like those, there are gray areas and subjectivity involved.

What do you call a gal you're not boyfriend/girlfriend with, and say, both had a discussion that you're both not interested in a relationship, but hang out with mutual friends, and bang once in a while when drunk afterwards and shoot-the-sh!t sometimes via email & text? She's not your girlfriend. She's not just a friend, either. Getting to know where you stand is a good thing BETWEEN the 2 people, absolutely -- and what to expect. FWB is a description just like "being exclusive" is, or "being boyfriend/girlfriend" is, etc.

Some people may want a more specific term, right? That doesn't mean they're nuts or loony.

So let's take that exact situation, where it IS important to classify it -- not just between you two, where the guy and a buddy of his walk into a bar:
"Hey, who's that girl? I've seen you talk to her before..."
"Oh yeah, that's Sally. She's a friend of mine."
"She's cute..."
"Yeah she is!"
(1 week later)
"Dude! I got that Sally girl's # after talking to her on facebook. I had a date with her last night, and made out in the car."
"Oh, you didn't have sex? I just had sex with her..."
"WTF?! You said she was just a friend! You could have told me she was a f*ck buddy or a FWB!"
"Oh come on, categorizing things are for losers! I'm not into those euphemisms!"
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 162
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 6/8/2010 11:09:14 AM

I’d ask those who bandy these oft-used terms around when did they become so well known or codified as you describe?

Like many 'terms', 'jargon','lingo'....they are learned from participation/involvement in a particular activity. In this circumstance , that would be broadly categorized as "Adventures in Modern Dating".

Are we to tell the parents of our FWB’s or FB’s what we’re doing---their children, co-workers??
LOL, as a general rule, a straightforward f*ckbuddy involvement with someone is not going to include contact with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers. So the need to tell anybody anything is a moot point. FwB, depending on its' circumstances, might very well include some degree of contact/interaction with family, co-workers, neighbors. But if FwBs are frequently or routinely accompanying each other to weddings, funerals, company picnics, holiday family dinners, then I think they need to consider the possibility that what they have is in fact a "real relationship" even though it may be static-that is to say, not planning to marry, cohabit, 'get engaged'. Some people insist that a "real "relationship can ONLY exist if there is cohabitation or serious intent/planning toward marriage or cohabitation.
I don't happen to subscribe to that school of thought, because I have seen couples maintain a longterm and stable relationship without cohabiting, marrying or having any intentions to do so.Mostly this happens with older, independent people who value a degree of privacy, space,autonomy and prefer to keep finances and material possessions more separate than they would be in a cohabitation or marriage.
Cindy O
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 163
view profile
History
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:51:06 PM
I just googled FWB to see what it meant. Received a message with that as the headline. How can I have been in here so long and be so naive still?
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