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 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 51
Can someone help me to understand men?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
my mom alway says "takes all kinds to make the world go round"
people are looking for different things in life/relationships
just take a pass on the ones who aren't looking for what you are.
If they get insulting consider yourself blessed they showed their true colours early.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 52
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Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 12:09:11 AM
OP......
I don't think that any reasonable and thinking person could not recognize that men are hardwired to push for sex sooner than women might be ....in general ...(yeah God forbid a generalization LOL ....like in general men are taller than women!!!!)
I would think that a woman wanting a long term relationship (most ) would not be shocked by this but would judge a guy on how he conducted himself if she said no she's not ready yet ....and then buy him a steak dinner to make up for it ......(-;
 Amethyst14
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 53
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 4:31:04 AM
Helping to understand a man is like a man trying to understand a woman...we are totally different beings...who both enjoy sex...nothing wrong with it...I'm a lot older then most on here...I do date alot...I would never sleep with someone on the 1st 2nd or 3rd date if I felt there was no chemistry involved!!

NOW...I will contradict myself here!! I met someone a year ago..meeting him only 4 months ago for the first time...there was sparks everywhere on that first date....I even went back to his house on that 1st date which is something I would never do...and yes you guessed it I did sleep with him and have ever since....simply because I felt we were on the same page..physically..mentally..emotionally..the chemistry was there...the attraction was very deep!!! something I have never felt with anyone I dated...

My point here beside airing my dirty laundry is that there are some men only looking to sleep with as many women they can which boost the ego...then there's the guys who are looking for a serious relationship...this is also for many woman on here as well...

So this depends on what your looking for...your pic..your profile..they way you present yourself online is very revealing to ones personality...if they get the wrong impression of you...it's something you said to them....I find most men who start off nice eventually want to discuss sex...being in the field I'm in this doesn't bother me...BUT I never suggest what turns me on or get into what Bra size I wear...which is a very common thing on here...ohhh yes..I've been asked many many times...since my pic on here is also a little revealing....I'm just not in a teddy like you are!!! that makes a big difference in a man's thoughts....

Fortunately...after dating all the wrong guys who always brought up sex on dates....I finally met someone looking for all the same things in life as I am....he never mentioned sex the entire night...and we did sleep together that first night!!! and it was a mutual thing....

What I think is ....it's not a thing of understanding men...it's more like understanding yourself...knowing what your looking for in life!!!!

Have a great day everyone!!
NYP
 halbailman
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 54
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 8:17:40 AM
I must not be a man then. I dont want sex allways. I would much rather have a large connection with someone before i have sex. Just my 0.02
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 55
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 9:40:00 AM

If they get insulting consider yourself blessed they showed their true colours early.


So true, hapeenurse. I mean, would you rather find out someone's true colors in one or two dates, or even better, online *before* you bother meeting them.... or find out 3 months down the line? I'd vote for sooner rather than later.
 bosoxx
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 56
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:10:58 AM
do you think it's any different for us out here! Let's see here's a good one.......boy meets girl on computer,girl says she want a relationship...however the real question is .....what kind of relationship! She want friends only...of course that's not on her profile and she coesn't say that till U meet.......Anyhow guess who's payin' for dinner! Oh here's a fun 1 ....by meets girl online...many hrs. of great conversation,even figuring out the meaning of life!! Boy drops phone number only to never be contacted again! Was she married,did she die? Who knows!!! Or this one's good...... boy meets girl on line,talk and girl says she REALLY wants to meeet U...so your thinking cool right?....the moment finally comes where the two agree on a date,U look forward to it for a couple of days...blah,blah,blah.....You show up early(who says chivalry is dead,huh?) and u wait........and wait.......45 min. or so and leave wanting to pull your hair out,then U realize you don't have any!!!!! Ya think the girl could drop an e-mail or use the phone # u gave her but no....that would be downright considerate! The next day U get an e-mail stating it was her job...O.k. so U tell her when U get some time let's try again,what happens....you never hear from her again!! Now doesn't that make ya wonder about someone who says in their profile that they are honest,sincere and have no problem tellin' ya what time it is!!!
I guess the moral of the story is....toughen up...this is no diff. than dating out there and ya find more toads than princes anyway.....I just laugh and keep on trucking! There is good people out there and I have met a few.....hang in there and use humor to temper the bad times and you'll find yourself virtually bulletproof!!!
Peace Bosoxx
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 57
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 12:24:54 PM
"I guess the moral of the story is....toughen up...this is no diff. than dating out there and ya find more toads than princes anyway.....I just laugh and keep on trucking! There is good people out there and I have met a few."

Best advice yet. Quit taking it so seriously! Someone doesn't reply to you, move on.
The fisherman sits there with his pole waiting for a bit, doesn't mean he's gonna get one, but with some patience, eventually he will.
 Hugmeister
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 58
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 12:36:35 PM
Oh, I love you women that use subtle sexuality to lure men to your profile (in your case it's your boobs hanging out in your photo) and then are SO surprised to find out that they attract these type of men! Come on, like you didn't know what you were doing?
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 59
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 12:54:48 PM
Tip: how you conduct yourself will yeild its response accordingly

ie: a pic of yourself with a very low cleavage and teddy (i think) will cause the assumption of a sexual person

I'm sorry but men are very visual and assumptions can easily be made. If it ticks you off he's talking about sex.. just simply give him the chance to redeem himself. Tell him you are not comfortable discussing it at that point til you know him better. If he can't understand.. bye bye.
 rubyred6301
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 60
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/23/2006 5:43:39 PM
not all men are after sex. Do you get to know these men very well before dating? Some men are strictly after that. I make it very clear before the first date that im not going to jump right into a sexual relationship. Does that stop them? The right ones yes, it also weeds out the bad ones. Good luck to you.
 ritzygypsy
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 61
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:45:38 PM
Yumeryu what you have written here is wonderful and accurate. My question is what should a woman do when a man is not able to stimulate her on an emotional level? Is this justification for finding someone else based on what you are saying here?
 ritzygypsy
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 62
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:48:12 PM
Cedar77 does this mean a man should also pay for dinner if he is not able or willing to sexually satisfy his partner or is this just something a woman should do?
 Spaceballs
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 63
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Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:52:10 PM
I can just say the same thing about girls. Do all girls look only at features? 23 years of hanging out with girls and asking them out and all of them rejected...why? because I am asian and short.

So I can ask is all girls just narrow minded like that?


Any how to answer your question: If all we wanted was sex sex sex, than you would see prostitutes in every single corner. Or I would have simply gone off and found myself a whore or a hooker and paid to get rid of this virginity that I had for 23 years of my life. Already you are far more sexual than I ever been. So I could even go as far as claim that you only want sex as well than. But that would be stupid.

Like I said in a previous post for every **stard there is a ****. and for every **** there is a **stard. I just hate it when any one had one scenario and all of a sudden blames the entire male race or female race on that one bad example out of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 poeople on this planet over the course of thousands of years.
 cartographer
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 64
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Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:02:37 PM
I've only once been offered sex, and had to turn it down on that same date because it was only the second date! Never in my nine other women I've met was sex ever a topic. I did not pursue it because none were obviously committed. Of those nine only two are remaining as good friends and nothing more. Sex is something I can wait for till marriage if it comes to that. I will not have it unless I know I have true commitment. That's just the way I see it. So if you think all men are after it, think again. Some will even refuse it if it is offered too quickly.
 sassyfox
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 65
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Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:21:17 PM
As for me, it's not about how long you know someone, it's all about the approach....and even moreso, about two mature adults deciding what is right for them. JMPO
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 66
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:49:54 PM
Keep being the one who decides when you want to have sex. Whether it's three months, three weeks, or three drinks later. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. Go for the one who chases after you the most, those guys are usually overlooked. You can pull it all together and when you do, the guys who said those things to you will feel like an ass.

 cabman86
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 67
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 7:05:45 PM
we're all different hon. i, myself like to get to know someone first and like to let the woman make the first move. (on me lol)

just keep trying. theres someone out there for ya thats not after sex only.
 enigma1972
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 68
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:19:39 PM
No, not all of them. Not all men are that shallow. I actually get offended when some woman tries to sleep with me on the first date. I personaly have a 1 month minimum rule.(I have broken this rule only twice and it didn't work out either time.) Basicly I have to have known you at least a month, sometimes two. I absolutley won't sleep with a woman until I'm ready to make an exclusive comitment to her as far as dating goes. I find women who have issues typicly tend to show their hands in this time frame. I watch like a hawk and pay attention to very minute details. (Do they do what they say they will, do they show interest, do I catch them lying, are they gold diggers, am I being played, etc) Usualy quietly though. I won't confront anybody over anything. I was unfrotunatley born with an exceptionaly good BS detector so I know when somebody is trying to dump a load of it on me. In this 1-2 month period I learn if it's going to be worth an exclusive comitment or not. And sex won't happen until after that occurs. I've been acused of "not being interested" enough, but honestly I'm in this looking for somebody for the long haul. So I figure if I loose a few like that they probalby wouldn't have worked out anyways. So no not every guy is only thinking of sex!
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 69
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 9:32:03 AM
^^ Well, I have to say, I have never, and probably never would, go for sex on the first date. I don't know as I'd find it "offensive", I could take it as flattering actually, but I wouldn't go there because I take the first date as a time to get to know the *person*. I certainly don't hold to that "one month minimum" though, I think that depends on the person, with the right 'chemistry', the 2nd date might be ok, or the 3rd... or maybe that month or two if she wanted to take the time. I'm not looking for sex, I'm looking for a relationship (although I do believe that sex is a part of a healthy relationship, its not *the* relationship). First date is off-limits for me, but after that I think it depends more on the two people involved, how well they 'hit it off' together, how comfortable they are with going there, etc.
 Jaime2830
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 70
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 9:47:41 AM
"It is time for women to grow up and recognize that sex is life, and you are trying to deprive us of life"

Excuse me but women were not put here for a man's pleasure or to give you life as you say. I think maybe your the one who should grow up and learn to
 HiTechRedneck
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 71
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:56:56 AM
Here's everything you need to know....

The difference between men and women is that women are looking for one man to satisfy their every need, and Men are looking for every woman to satisfy their one need.

That's it in a nutshell!

S~
 OliviaBella
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 72
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 1:48:00 PM
not all men want action I know alot of girls who want action its a matter of respecting yoursef.


oliviabella
 enigma1972
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 73
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:46:28 PM
"one month minimum? ^^??? do you ever get your junk wet?"

Yep. I go for quality, not quantity. Plus I don't have issues with VD's, illegitimate kids, and being "played" with sex as bait.

When it happens it's 5 times better than just some random lay.

Trust me, it's something you mature into.
 jdh1256
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 74
Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:38:40 PM
I met a girl , had sex on the 2nd and 3rd date, Im still with her, cant get enough of her. Dont think men who are interested in sex aren't into anything else. I like having a conversation and being with her. Hell , she even wants to go fishing with me, how many of you women would do that?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 75
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Can someone help me to understand men?
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:42:49 PM
Let's make it a bit simpler. First understand yourself, because at the most basic level, men and women aren't all that different. Then find a man that you're interested in and try to understand just him. Understanding a broad scope of humanity, well libraries are filled with books on the subject, so that's biting off a bit much. Understand your man, take the time, listen to him and be patient and understanding. Give him time and attention and let him know you think he's terrific. He'll be glad to help you figure out what makes him tick.
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