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 vannabobanna
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 279
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?Page 5 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Well, there is more of a chance that a meaningful relationship will come out of a relationship that is not built upon just sex. Even if it not really necessary, waiting is more a symbolic gesture saying that there is a connection running between two people that is deeper than physical attraction alone. This is not the case for everyone. Some people have that initial attraction, and having sex the first time is very comfortable for both parties.
 SCUDRUNN3R
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 281
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:31:48 AM
uh- what if both people decide they want to sleep together on the first date?
One of my best relationships started with sex on the first date....
What's with the bashing?
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 284
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Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 6/4/2008 1:37:11 PM
Some of us like myself are not looking for unmeaningful sex. I never just meet someone and have sex. I only have sex with guys I'm in a serious relationship with. I know there are plenty of women and men that want sex on a first date and I don't have a problem with that. I'm just ole fashion in that way.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 285
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:41:31 AM
most women are concerned about how the man will view her. she's worried what he might think and doesnt want to do anything that might make him think anything negative about her. i'm different because i go with my gut and do whatever i feel. if i want it i do it if i dont, i dont. i never worry what he thinks. it just doesnt really matter to me. i'll get by.
 Beminetonight
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 286
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Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:23:15 PM
I don't know that it's women who feel that it's especially weird. For every heterosexual couple who does it, there's one man and one woman. Likewise for every couple that doesn't.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 289
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:18:59 PM
What ISN'T wrong with sex on the first date, even if there is a connection or whatever, I see it as an easy out, if ya wanna not see her again, bam, you've already had sex, got yours, and can go, while she hurts because she thought you loved her. It's misleading, and wrong, thats why If ya can't make it to the third date, hell, then there shouldn't even be sex, even if there is an attraction, its probably not because you love them, ya just wanna get laid. Gaaaaarrrrrrhhhhhh, some guys make me embarrassed to be a man. Did empathy get tossed out the window while you were having sex with her or did you just not have it to begin with?
jeez
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 292
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 8/26/2008 2:51:16 PM
So your justifying that it is okay to have meaningless, sex, that is just how I see it and you personally make me embaressed to be a guy because of that alone, and ever think that maybe they aren't naive or an idiot but they OBVIOUSLY think sex is a bonding and they are doing it because they think they might actually love them, of course you didn't, because your probably the type of guy who picks up chicks, has sex on the first date, and leaves em if it isn't great. Sex on a first date and leaving is using someone, leaving for a GOOD reason isn't.
 BDRT
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 295
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 8/26/2008 7:22:40 PM
I don't know if women find sex "weird" on a first date. But what I find weird is that men seem to expect it, or use the whole "you're trying to control me by not giving in" routine.
I actually had a man tell me that we would have sex on the first meet, because there was no better way to get to know someone than to have sex with them. Ummm, I don't think so. But he wasn't going to "waste his time on someone who wasn't going to put out." I wonder how that's working for him??
I know a few people for whom sex on the first date has turned into a good relationship, but I would think they are few and far between.
If I choose to wait until sex feels right for me in the relationship, I am in no way trying to control the man by withholding. If he doesn't think I am worth waiting for, then he's probably not the man for me. If he DOES think I'm worth waiting for, I probably won't make him wait too long. Deciding when to become intimate is a personal decision between the two people involved. There is no right or wrong answer as to when. What is right for one couple is not the same as for another couple. But it should be a mutual decision, one shouldn't be pressured into it.
And Dawn, I hate to disagree with you, but many people, especially men, are quite capable of having sex without emotion.
I could probably go on and on about this, but most points have already been made. My belief is to just do what's right for you and don't let anyone else tell you that it's weird or you are not normal or whatever.
 anna freedom
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 298
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Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:20:39 AM
There is such an obvious answer to this question:
'cause if you do not like me enough to go out with me at least three times,
i do not want to have sex with you. i can have meaningless sex with any one of my glorious magnificent vibrators. the whole reason i am in the dating world is cause i want more than that. (geez) (lol)
 GreenEyesGoldenLocks
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 300
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:08:09 PM
First date is just like a first interview rarely do they offer you a job after just one interview, these days they want to get to know you better. Sometimes there is enough chemistry that you just dont care if the guy is lying, and go for it. Other times you want to know he is for real and get to know him. Usually a guy isnt going to be honest and say he just wants sex because he thinks it wont happen, then the girl feels used when he drops off the face of the earth. Me, I say be honest on your intentions and let her make an informed decision.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 301
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:14:36 PM

Does society still shame women who surrender to sexual impulses? I thought we were past all that.


There is still that age old double standard, and every man with whom I have had a serious relationship said that although he would have had sex the first date, that he was happy that I didn't permit it. Personally, I think the only people who would disagree are those who are not seeking meaningful relationships. Easy in other words, but I am not using this word as an insult. I would love to see the end of the double standard!


So the question....why do women create this myth of emotinoal intimacy as a pre requisite for good sex?


Its' not a myth for many women. Because women generally need more time and effort to climax, its' important that they are comfortable enough with a man to communicate and demonstrate their needs. Furthermore, women are not the visual creatures that you men are. We don't generally get all hot and bothered by the sight of you naked. Oops...sorry! To demonstrate this, you may have noticed that while a man may fast forward to the raw sex in a porn flick, that a woman enjoys the storyline. It allows her to emotionally connect and share the fantasy.


"If the chemistry's there"........ is a euphanism for being horny. They're still a stranger.


And the anticipation will make the sex better!


Chicks don't put out on the first date, because if it was that easy to get it there would be more guys who didn't call back. Most girls have nothing else of worth to offer, so they have to hold the sex over a guys head to get him to stick around. That's all there is to it


So we put out and the guy doesn't call back, but...if we don't put out he may stick around and resent us for it? Nice...how does anyone win?


firstly it is not all nor most women who find sex on a first date so weird...it is only those who are simply not confident and secure in their own sexual experiences.


I would say that instead of lacking confidence and security, they are exhibiting patience, selectivity, caution, and their right to make a choice best for them.


Personally ... I seek a relationship with a man ... companionship ... building a life together ... developing trust between us. While I do indeed enjoy sex ... for me it's the icing on the cake and not my first or only priority for spending time with a man. quote]

I would agree that is the reason many women don't have sex on a first date, but it is obvious that many people do not feel the same way.


....if you could have tons of sex with NEW men and/or women all the time and STILL have someone in your life who loved u with all his heart, wouldnt that be better?


No! I don't want to share my lover, and whats' good for the goose is good for the gander!

The religion issue is a valid one and definitely affected my sexual behavior for many years. I however, am in the process of seeking answers and one of those is that any bible is subject to broad interpretation and the rules that we have been given over generations may not apply. I am following my instincts and what works for me.

Well I got to message 50 and unless I want to write a book, I will stop writing and continue reading. Interesting thread!
 AboveOmnipotence
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 303
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:08:33 PM
LOL If a woman I'm messin' with has sexy toes and a long tongue, then it's almost certain that we bang. lol
 TheWeasel
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 305
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:24:19 PM
This can work both ways, I totaly would like to fine a Lady before I decide to have sex, then if she is the right one, You call it Making Love !!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 310
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Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 9:38:13 AM
Because women have a sweeter heart than you do-! For them, sex IS caring-! And how can anyone know anyone well enough on a first date to know if they care about them-? For you, sex is animal and mechanical. For them, it requres warmth and passion (which is what makes sex really hot anyway). Muster up some passion and act like you actually give a s--t, even if you don't.
 lacepantieshalfoff
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 312
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:11:31 PM
i do not find sex on a first date weird. if two adult people are so sexually attracted to each other than it is between them an as long as neither expects more than that as a result of the sex, no harm should be done. providin safety first issues are followed of course.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 314
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:05:25 PM
Well, I wouldn't say it had to be meaningful, but even if I wanted to sleep with someone on the first date, I wouldn't. Just cause then I look bad, right? So, I tend to wait a few dates (the ole 3 date minimum...) before I drop him in the sack. LOL.

That's called game playing and manipulation. I'd rather date women who are secure and self-confident enough to do what they want to do and not care what other people think.


me first, if he genuinely likes me, then it's a sure thing! (sex) You don't have to be in LOVE with me, just a little respect, huh?

The problem is, that is the way to lose my respect.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 315
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:09:41 PM

A man who wants a woman to be as detached about sex as he can be, essentially, is asking her to act and think like a man.


That is fallacious thinking. I'm never detached, regardless of how long I've known someone.
 ºSuzanaº
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 319
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 4:45:15 PM
Women want to feel themselves loved and desired. not USED by a man in 1 night stand..that is why we don´t like to do sex in the first night..we like involvement, we like to feel ourselves comfortable and safe.. and we like to think that man will be our partner for life in a romantic and solid or long relationship not just meat and bones..and sex machine.. if you know what I mean...
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 322
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:48:42 PM

For all of you who abuse this word so much in the forums... it's called pedastool, thou lowly mortal.


Hehehe. Ya know, it took me a minute to get this, but only cuz I have no interest in virgins, and I passed on the movie's title.
Still, clever should get applause, so here ya go. Lol.

Bears!!? We should be like them?
Must be your spirit animal.
 THE full monty
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 323
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:57:03 PM
well , i dont think its common for women to have sex on the first date!!! maybe, it has something to do with her safety.......if she really doesnt know you i dont think she is going to have sex with you.some women also feel the need for gifts ,dinners or drinks before they give it up......... ...........nothing free in this world.......
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 324
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Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 7:31:32 PM
That's why I only take women out for 3rd dates and skip the first two.
 Achilles24
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 326
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 11/22/2010 9:46:16 AM
I met a girl on here about a month ago and we had great conversations via text and on the phone. When it came time for the first date we had a great dinner and then afterwards I went back to her place and watched a movie and then had sex with her. Long story short, I spent the next couple of nights with her and I said the infamous "L" word to her and that must have scared her off because the next day we were supposed to have dinner at her place and she came up with some bogus excuse but it turned out to be a complete lie. So I dropped her.

Moral of the story: Never ever say the "L" word to a girl you just met. I think it was kinda slutty of her to giver herself up the 1st night but then again I could have said no myself but what guy passes up sex? I should have had more self control and used my head on my shoulders as opposed to the other head. Plus she was 19 so go figure. My common sense was not present in this ordeal.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 327
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 11/22/2010 10:56:52 AM
^^^
If a girl had used the "L" word with me that soon, I'd never speak to her again. Classic case of too much too soon.
 Kranck
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 328
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 11/22/2010 11:00:22 AM
^^^ So she was slutty but you just had a temporary lapse in judgment, right?

She didn’t “give herself up” to you. She willingly had sex with you a couple of times and then took her bad self and went on her merry way without you. It’s you who seems to have lost yourself a bit here.

So what do you want us to do about it? Crucify her? ‘Cause we can do that, ya know. Would that help you regain your footing?
Case in point – one of the reasons some women are sometimes leery of first-date sex is because of the weasel-minded guys who pull out the “slut” language when things don’t go their way. And if it had gone their way, they’d still be there enjoying sex with these “slutty” women.


OT: Women I’ve had first-date (or no-date) sex with haven’t found it “weird”. They’ve found it hawt and tender and exciting and adventurous and sometimes just OK or even disappointing or worth repeating or not or any number of things totally unrelated to what number of date we’re on – but weird? Nope. Not unless I bring the goat.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 329
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 11/22/2010 12:07:37 PM

So she was slutty but you just had a temporary lapse in judgment, right?

Exactly. A guy is male-sluttish if he hooks up on the first date, just as much as a gal would be a slut.

The reason guys pull the "but I'm a guy", is because girls will pull the skeptical "yeah, but he's a guy". And also, a standard guy is going to move things as much as she's comfortable with, expecting it to stop at a certain "base". If that base turns into home plate, he's not going to turn that down -- after all, that'd probably crush a gal's ego that a GUY said no to her! Omg!

Of course a guy can easily just say "Oh, I don't have a condom... probably wouldn't be best anyway, but we can do other things..." to not hurt the ego either.

Bottom line is that nobody should find a gal slutty just because something was built up between you two (emailing, phone convos, first date) and then you two let one thing lead to another. But if you do, you as a guy would have to label yourself that to the SAME extent.
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