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 anthrolady
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 91
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I did the same thing, took a lot of time after my divorce to figure out who I really was and what I wanted out of life. Now big picture, I don't have a clue still, but I did figure out that I just want to smile each day. Hopefully more than frown.

I've had a lot of people not like the fact I'm 30 and divorced, which frankly I don't get as I've dealt with it. I expect people in their 30's to have baggage, I just want to see that they're honest about it and dealing with it. I'm not perfect and I don't expect anyone else to be.

I don't believe all the "good" ones are married, everyone's different, and I think I'm one of the good ones, so if I'm still single then there must be a guy out there for me. Hopefully I'm lucky enough to meet him sooner than later, but you can't rush time.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 92
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/25/2011 5:51:55 AM
I was in back to back relationships all through my 20's plus I was in school during that time. The 30's so far have been incredible! I am pickier for sure, but there are alot of options and I am having a blast. Most of my friends are single too, so it makes it easier to go out and meet people. I am not concerned with finding "the one" if it is meant to be- it will be. I am just enjoying the ride. I think this is the best attitude to have. Don't put pressure on dating. Just go out and enjoy and if something comes of it, then great. If not, you move forward to the next possibility. :)
 warmitupcrys
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 93
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/25/2011 11:59:31 PM
I agree! It was way easier to date in my 20s since I used to go clubbing, bar hopping, and such., but now that I'm 31, I find it hard to find someone since I don't do the things I used to.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 94
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:22:23 PM
As I've said before in the past - My advice to most men here is avoid 30 something women like the plague. Not because they're evil, or because they're intentionally malicious... it's because 95 to 99% of them are completely screwed up.

Comments like this:



as in back to back relationships all through my 20's plus I was in school during that time. The 30's so far have been incredible! I am pickier for sure, but there are alot of options


Of all the women I have dated - the 20 somethings and the 40 somethings were just fine. The 20 somethings were either looking to settle down, or were out to party - and they made it clear. The 40 somethings? Same thing. Already had their kids, their career, their house, etc... they're either looking for something long term and serious, or just have a good time.

The 30 somethings I have dated? Nightmares... every single solitary one of them. Lies, head games, confusion, drama, baggage... you name it. It got so bad that I swore them off. I wouldn't talk to a woman who was in her 30s.

I think it's because for a lot of them they are caught in this "place" where they still want to party and act like a hootch - but there's a part of them that feels the need to settle down. So they're confused and trying to play both sides... part time party girl, part time "I wanna settle down" girl.

Then you have the other lot of 30 somethings... those that made really great dating choices (note the sarcasm) and ended up married to a complete douche. Now after 12 years of marriage she finally realizes she isn't "the one who is going to make him settle down" - and they split - but this time! THIS time she is going to get it right! And by God if you don't walk on water - she'll boot to you the curb without batting an eye - then come to the PoF message boards and bitch because there are "no good men left."

Some of you may have found one or two 30 somethings that weren't complete psycho basket cases. Congrats to you! I'll stick to my 20 and 40 somethings and save my sanity.
 Blue sky lover
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 95
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:58:52 PM
Living in a small college town i have found it near impossible to date at my age. It seems like "A "everyone is too young and "finding themselves" or "B" everyone else is married. I think the only option for many people in the 30s age range is moving to a large city where you have more singles in that age range which can be really hard if you dislike large city life. Anyhow it is quite a challenge if your looking for something meaningful in your 30s.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 96
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:08:35 PM
You'd be surprised how many 20 somethings out there are extremely mature and well rounded as compared to their 30 something counterparts. I'm 39 and I still date 27, 28, 29 year olds - and truth be told I actually have better conversations with them than I did with the 30 somethings I dealt with. I'm talking serious, deep conversations.

75% of the 30 somethings just ranted about how their life sucked. It got old - quick.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 97
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:47:37 PM
And by the way, I'm not suggesting that ALL single 30 something are fruit baskets. I'm merely sharing MY personal experiences and what *I* have been through. I am sure there are some out there that are perfectly normal (that aren't already married or in a relationship).
 CaptainAlbator
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 98
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History
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2011 10:03:47 PM
Two things I've noticed about dating over 30; one is that there seems to be a lot of what I call developmentally arrested women out there. Women who are in their 30's and still go for the classic d-bag types, then they wonder why their relationships don't last. Maybe some call them "Drama Addicts", but what ever is going on, it's made things more difficult.

Second; there's a lot of what I call "in-dating". That's when you have peer group and people have relationships within that peer group. I know how it happens and I know why it happens; you already know someone, there's no fear of rejection, you don't have to actively search, there's no fear of them being rejected by the peer group. But there's also an enormous downside if the break up goes bad. The other thing is it's very limiting. I'm not sure if it's happening more because of the size of the town I live in, but there's an old expression of "you didn't lose your girlfriend, you lost your turn", and it's more applicable than ever now.

There's more but it's late on the East Coast, and I have to get to bed.
 Prof78
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 99
Better now ...
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:42:27 AM
I find I enjoy dating more at this age. I'm more financially stable, I have more experience, I know more what I want.

A lot of older women aren't into younger men because of the immaturity. So it depends on who you talk to.

People in their 30's may be more serious about what they're looking for than teeny-boppers or people in their 20's. I think it depends on the person.

That's why I read each profile carefully, but even then that doesn't mean anything ...

Dan
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 100
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:24:55 AM
Cinsav- good for you. Like I have stated before and will continue to state again and again...It is our God given right to be as picky or non picky as we like! This includes age range of whom you choose to date. If women in their 30's don't work for you, fine. Don't date them!

I personally believe that there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself while single.
 FlawedOne
Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 101
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/2/2011 7:50:03 PM
I find dating in my 30's to be very difficult. As you say, most women have had a bad man in their life and now posses children. The children thing isn't really the issue in my case, however the former relationships tend to be. I often find myself on the bad end of a breakup simply due to them having issues left over from said failed relationships. Why is it a man (well most anyway) can leave all their emotional baggage behind, but for a woman it seems to follow them and every man afterwards has to pay for the a**holes that came before him? I simply don't get it...
 SommerTime77
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 102
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/3/2011 7:26:22 AM
Judgy, here is what I can say to your message, I am 33 going to be 34 soon :) I do have 3 children and I am divorced. I can completely understand where your frustration would be as I believe you are right. For whatever reason my life doesn't reflect that type of lifestyle, and I never really understood it either.

I spend quality time with my kids, I am currently attending school, but I spend a lot of time in my social life. I play softball several nights per week, I am in a couple different poker leagues, and somedays I just enjoy chillin on a patio for some drinks. Maybe the type of woman your looking for has really nothing to do with the age but just the woman.

I can relate this dating stuff is hard, same for men the ones my age want barbie doll girls, or they are afraid to date someone with kids. So it leaves me with slim chance.
 GooglePlusUser
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 103
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/4/2011 7:39:26 PM
I dunno... I've gone on more dates since I got separated and divorced than I did in my teens and twenties combined. Even one long-term relationship came out of it, so dating in my 30's has been a positive experience for me. I'm not intimidated by a career - I've done well for myself there, and meeting women who've done well for themselves is a positive experience. Children are the same thing - I've had a child, so I know what that's like. If someone wants to spend time with you, no matter how busy their life seems to be, they always find that time to be with you. All this isn't to say I don't get rejected (I do), and that I don't turn down people (I do that too), but it's about keeping the hope that eventually I'll meet a woman who'll become my best friend and then the thought of not being together is something that the two of us couldn't think of.

Dating in your 30's isn't like dating in your 20's, and if you're going about it the same way as you did when you were younger, you're doing it wrong.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 104
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:33:29 PM
NOT YET; though I dont call him the raging palamino anymore!!



 SocialKitten
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 105
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History
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/10/2011 2:13:19 PM
Last I checked 30 was the new 20
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 108
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History
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 9:09:08 AM
Dating starts to suck in your late 20's and it does not get any easier until your late 50's if your a guy(only because the competition is starting to die off).
I think that spark that allows for love and passion dies in women at a certain age, late 20's is when women START expecting us to jump through hoops like trained seals and they also get shallow and super picky. Not all might you but most.
If I had a wish, I would be 19 again, that was my best year for dating.
 sisterleigh
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 109
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 4:07:54 PM
it seems like 30 would be a perfect age for a man to find a date. women don't really care about looks, if you have a car and a house, and a nice job, and you should have all that if your 30. if you don't then what the hell have you been doing with your life. i mean if your still liveing at home with your momma and you don't have a job, then your just a pethetic loser who's 30. it's funny when your a teenage loser, you may get your own show, but at 30 it's just said. homeless woman will do any thing for selter. i don't understand why their are so many single guys. when a women hits 30 she's desprate as shit. YOUR DOING SOMETHING WORNG.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 110
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 4:22:51 PM
^^^^ is this sarcasm or just plain cruel? I can't even understand what this comment means... Yes- men should have their lives together to an extent, but what about looks not mattering and being desperate after 30?!?! Wanna make a bet, sister?
 sisterleigh
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 111
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:29:50 PM
i don't know i only have younger men hit on me. my last boyfriend was 21. and only younger guys message me on here. i'm just saying i don't see a woman turning down and older man that's got a nice job, and car and his own home. plus older men that date younger women live longer, the opisite is not true however. my young boyfriends only sucked the life out of me. but i have never gotten a message from an older man on this site, and no older man has ever written me back. people seem to stay in their own age group. i don't understand why ya'll are haveing such a hard time, it's not your age, IT'S YOU!
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 112
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:42:54 PM
So, basically- because YOU only get messages from younger men and older men don't respond to YOU, that justifies why "WE" are all having a hard time?
And for the record...I don't think dating is hard at all, but I just think your response is ignorant and I wanted to jump in.
You still fail to explain what you mean by women in their 30's are desperate and don't care about looks.

Perhaps older men with a lot going for them read your profile and decide that YOU are not what they are looking for...perhaps the younger men who just want to hump, feel you would be an easy target...

Anyone else wanna take this one? She's just plain pissing me off...and I am not normally a bit*h, but i'm in a mood ;)~
 sisterleigh
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 113
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:45:43 PM
wow easy hoe, it's just a forum, try not to get to upset.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 114
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:48:19 PM
Oops- just read your history...hope I didn't send you to the ledge.
 sisterleigh
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 115
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:54:58 PM
it's ok i forgive you :)
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 116
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:59:38 PM

i don't understand why ya'll are haveing such a hard time, it's not your age, IT'S YOU!


Oh no it IS her age. See my previous post. Single 30 something female.... ok? Single 30 something female usually means cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo...
 sisterleigh
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 118
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:53:04 PM
over 30 under 30 all ****es is crazy. ****es is crazy, that's why men love us. they love that we can trow a lamp at them and then have wild make up sex after wards. if you don't want a crazy **** then you need to learn how to suck a**** and love it. b.c all ****es are crazy.
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