|Profile Reviews offeredPage 20 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)|
|I'd like a profile review. AND... I was wondering if anyone would contact liveliesbleeding and ask him if he would adopt me. He cooks...he likes to cook. |
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:24:56 AM
First, your picture. The one you have as your main is not allowed by POF, and might get you deleted, as it appears that it is probably a copyrighted work. I suggest you swap it out for one of you. You really should try a few more pics of yourself. Most of the ones you have are a bit washed out. The second pic on your profile is probably your best right now, for a main pic - but you should have something that gives a better view of your face, without being washed out.
I feel like your profile told us a bit about you - but it's very static. The places where you describe activities, are all in the past - the paragraph on Florida and NASCAR. You should try to give us this kind of discussion of things you do now.
Your last line
I want to chat on line first before I meet someone in person is a problem. Most guys don't want to chat for months on end, before meeting. So you are driving a number of them away with this comment. Do you have a specific length of time in mind? Do you really just want email friends? (In which case talk/email might be a more accurate selection). If not, I'd suggest getting rid of this, and wait for some mention of meeting - then you can say "I don't know you well enough", if that's the case. I find it's very dependent on the person - some people I'd be happy to meet after 1-2 conversations. Others, I want to know more about them, and chat longer.
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:32:11 AM
Where do I start? How about with that line in your profile. Saying this just makes you look uncertain - it doesn't get your profile off to a roaring start at all. Get rid of the whole first line, and just jump right in.
All your profile really tells us, is that you like going out with friends (big surprise - who doesn't), and you consider a guy someone to "fill a few gaps" in your social calendar. I'm sure they must be jumping at that offer.
You need to scrap what you have and try again. Tell us about what you like to do - you can mention going out with friends, but what else? What could a guy expect to do, if he spent a day with you?
Some comments to leave out of your rewrite:
If you want to know more just ask...
I'm quite shy at first
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:39:25 AM
I see that you've made some changes since you put yourself up for review. Overall, I like where you've gone with your profile. Just a few things I would tweak in it.
First, the first 2 paragraphs seem to have been invaded by parentheses (). It got really distracting by the end of the second paragraph. I suggest you re-read those, and convert a few of those parenthetical thoughts into full-fledged sentences that can stand on their own.
Farther down, you said
I generally go for guys who are my height or taller, and of a slim build to a slightly cuddly build, but if the personality clicks it doesn't matter so much. I'd get rid of this. You state your preference, then claim it doesn't matter. Make up your mind, and don't bother putting the restriction/preference out there, if it's not a hard line. Just might scare off some of those different but wonderful guys you keep overlooking.
You say in your text that you prefer someone 19-29. But your mail restrictions are 18-35. Again, make up your mind, and just use the mail settings. No need to state it right there in the "about me" section.
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:40:14 AM
|I'd love a review of my profile, please.|
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:40:55 PM
Your profile starts out pretty well. But it ends on a bad note. Get rid of your last line ("that you for viewing my profile ....") - it doesn't add anything, and you are putting the thought of other guys into the reader's mind, when what you really want is to have them thinking about you.
Other than that, I think your profile is pretty good. It's a bit on the short side, but I don't think that will work against you.
You should find some more pictures of yourself, however. The ones you have don't show you clearly, so at least 1 closeup for your main pic would be good.
|believe it or not|
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:46:34 PM
|@believe it or not|
Hi, what do you think of mine?
Well, to be perfectly blunt, I don't like it. But that's just my opinion - I prefer the profiles I respond to, to actually tell me something about the person. OK, I know you have a weird sense of humour - but that's really all I found out. I do appreciate that you now have 2 real pictures up, however.
If the profile's working for you, great. If not, well, try something different, and good luck.
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:56:50 PM
Your profile is 1 long paragraph - I suggest breaking it up into shorter sections, to make it easier to read. 2-3 sentences per paragraph seems to work best here.
Here's another profile where I feel like it's all "I....I....I". Yes, profiles are about you. But this just started to feel more like a self-gratifying advertisement. I think the problem here is that it's all self-evaluations - your opinion of many subjective qualities. Rather than telling us everything you are - show us those qualities. Describe things you have done - and expand past the "I did xxx" statement.
Here are the bits that bothered me:
I’m an active, confident, attractive
I am in a good position in my life
I am physically, financially, and emotionally stable
I’m happy and it shows, I have an infectious smile. I value your opinion
I don’t believe in playing games.
I am intense but laid back
I read this sentence
spend time with my 18 yr old son and friends and my first thought was "You like to spend time with your 18 year old's friends? You might want to clarify that.
Also, your comment about not wanting kids. It reads like you don't want someone who has any of their own, either - if that's not your intent, you might want to clarify that.
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:02:40 PM
Hmm. I can't recall exactly what your profile used to say - but have a look at my previous review, right above here, for (maybe) a more useful description of what I mean by it being all "I...I...I" in your profile.
Overall, I found your profile a bit long now, and rambling. However, it does tell us a lot about who you are, and given the number of people who have you on their favs list, it appears to be working for you.
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:09:37 PM
I think your profile is pretty good - the only thing I would change is the first sentence. Rather than starting with the comment about being child-friendly, move that down - maybe after the next paragraph. Actually, given the age range you are looking for, you maybe don't need that line at all. Not many women between 54 and 65 would have children still living at home anyway.
|Mr Trophy Boyfriend|
Posted: 10/15/2006 6:08:09 PM
|@Mr Trophy Boyfriend|
Where to start? In short, not my style. But it does seem to tell us a lot about your personality - pulls no punches. It will certainly drive away the ones who can't deal with that - and possibly attract what you are looking for.
So - other than to point out a spelling mistake in your first sentence (which, not witch) and one at the end (conspiracy, not consperacy ) what can I say.
If it works for you - great. If not, try something different.
Posted: 10/15/2006 6:18:01 PM
i can handle it... i may cry for a second or 2...
OK, you'd better get some kleenex out, because this isn't pretty.
You say you are looking for dating, but your headline is very specific to an activity partner. I'd suggest either changing the headline or the "looking for", to make them consistent.
Your "about me" section is one long list of places you have been. From reading your profile, we know absolutely nothing about you, except that you like to travel, and party - and brag about how many places you have traveled to.
Your first date section actually shows some promise. How about bringing some of those activities into the "about me" section, and tell us a bit about yourself, and the things you like to do - outside of making a fool of yourself at bars in 18 countries.
Your pics definitely show your active side - tell us more in the about me section.
Posted: 10/15/2006 7:04:31 PM
|Thank you for the review Kris... I appreciate it Tb|
|Can someone please review my profile?|
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:54:39 AM
|Someone wrote me and said that I'm really pushing the race thing. Do y'all think I should take some of it out? I just don't want anyone to be apprehensive about approaching me. Check out my entire profile, what do you think. Let me know, I'm a big girl, I can take it!|
Posted: 10/16/2006 2:25:35 AM
|Can you please review mine and let me know what you think. I don't ever get guys emailing me and when I email someone, they usually read and delete it. |
Thanks so much,
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:03:14 PM
|what bout me....|
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:05:22 PM
What can I say? I like it. Looks like a good profile to me. The only thing I might change is the second paragraph
I have read many many profiles on this site, and seems everyone wants the same thing. I am a logical person but never have a problem showing emotion. The logical side of me doesn't get the fact everyone wants the same thing yet so many people are unhappy..HUMMM makes you wonder why. Doesn't really add to the profile, so I'd get rid of it. Other than that - leave it alone, and good luck.
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:10:28 PM
I like your opening. Different, and interesting. Not sure what the 3 lines of stars is for - I'd get rid of it. It takes up characters, and decreases what people can see when they search your profile.
The middle - it's OK. Not great, but with the opening, is probably sufficient to keep them interested.
Your last line
Oh, and no pic=no reply I hate it. Judgemental and inflexible. But that's just me (I won't email guys with this on their profile, even though I have a pic up). I'd lose the line, personally.
First date: you could put a bit more effort into what "something fun" actually would be. The movie comment is a nice touch - but offer another option.
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:19:30 PM
Profile isn't bad, overall. First thing to change is break it up. You need to add paragraph breaks, to make it easier to read. 2-3 sentences per paragraph is a good rule of thumb (think short attention spans)
You have great pics.
I would lose the word "elderly" in your profession. Sure, you're 59 - but your pics don't read "elderly", and I'm pretty sure it's not the image you want to project. Same thing in the about me - you focus too much on the age thing. Stop talking about being old/semi-retired/elderly. You are a part-time sales clerk, because you love the job.
I felt like the travel section was somewhat out of place. I think because I don't like to see profiles as accountings of past exploits. They are for highlighting the fun things you do, which a prospective partner might like to join you in.
Other than that, I think once you break it up, it will look great.
First date section - I read "med. D-D decaff" and couldn't figure out what "medicine" you were talking about. Could be because I don't drink coffee - but I think it was a hold over from all the "age" talk at the beginning. You might want to spell out medium just to be clear, however.
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:28:33 PM
Not bad. I wasn't sure about the opening, and the profile is definitely long, which in general will work against you around here. But once you got into the meat of it (after the comment about naked pics), it's pretty good (and may I say you do NOT look 55). You might want to reconsider the first couple paragraphs, just because shorter is better, for women's profiles on here.
From there, it was going gangbusters until here
The first meeting will not be for dinner or any extended timeframe. This whole paragraph is negative. Sounds like you've had some bad experiences. Try to put them behind you, and let each new guy stand alone. This comment really doesn't help - everyone thinks it doesn't apply to them anyway. You can put hte comment about "keeping the first date short" in the First Date section, and get rid of the rest.
The next paragraph is OK - but again, a bit confrontational. Actually re-reading it I'm not sure why I felt that - but that was definitely the feeling I got the first time through. Maybe a combination of the earlier paragraph, plus the first sentence "I will not be limiting my search". Could be phrased a big more gently "I'm open to people from any location, as I am relocatable ...."
Next, the paragraph about your mother. I commend your decision, but I'm not sure it belongs in your profile. This is more like something you can share once you've chatted for a bit.
Last line - get rid of it. I suggest never wishing people luck. Don't get them thinking about the next fish while reading your profie. You want them thinking about contacting you.
|Profile Reviews offered|
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:52:44 PM
|Well I like to see your honest and straight forward reviewing so could you give my profile a shot. I am still new on here but have had no luck at all. |
And just so you know I will be getting better pics in a couple days.
Posted: 10/19/2006 4:18:55 PM
|Thanks...Kris!! I appreciate your input. I will try to re-work it soon. My 'elderly' comments come from some inside joking with my younger friends!!! I can assure you, my state of mind is far from 'elderly'!!! |
Carry on Fishing!!
|Profile Reviews offered|
Posted: 11/2/2006 8:59:03 AM
|I'd love a review... I've been on here for a while and haven't met as many people as I would like. Any input you have would be great!|
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