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 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 139
Is it harder to date now?Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Wait, are you saying the person I'm chatting with is chatting with other people too?

Damn, that svcks
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 140
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/13/2014 3:21:33 PM
^^^^^^
Agreed. I was poking fun at dating web sites. On PoF, we have them green dot folks at the top of our inbox:)
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 141
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:01:52 AM
I don't think it matters what you put on your profile as far as "intent", other than "intimate encounter"( I heard they did away with that category,anyway) you will encounter people who have a different interpretation of "intent",and yes there are plenty of people who will say one thing while looking for something else.

Trust me, the 'net is not short of guys who profess to want a serious longterm relationship, just so as to find naive "hit'n'run" candidates that are not like the town bicycle.

And there are those men who think "looking for serious/committment" means that they must committ to marriage in the first email.
Some might put "casual dating" so as to avoid their potential dating partners feeling pressured.

I have to say that for the most part what I have found with online men is also "not interested in anything serious". And some of the ones who were interested in something serious, were just looking for a way to bootstrap themselves back up from the consequences of bad decisions or misfortune.
Yes, it's harder to date now-a lot of over-45 people are married or in committed relationships. The whole economy thing and all that have caused a lot of people to put dating further down the priority list...if your house is afire you look for a water hose or a fire extinguisher, not a lifejacket or jumper cables.
A portion of the single people who aren't bogged down with employment/economic concerns or time constraints, are not looking to date for aboveboard reasons. And they sure as hell aren't going to TELL you that.
Cindy O
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 142
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:28:46 AM

I don't think it matters what you put on your profile as far as "intent", other than "intimate encounter"


Well it might not matter to the dishonest but for people that are actually trying to find what they truly want I believe it matters.


Yes, it's harder to date now-a lot of over-45 people are married or in committed relationships. The whole economy thing and all that have caused a lot of people to put dating further down the priority list...if your house is afire you look for a water hose or a fire extinguisher, not a lifejacket or jumper cables.


If this is the situation you find yourself in I don't think you're ready to be on a dating site.


A portion of the single people who aren't bogged down with employment/economic concerns or time constraints, are not looking to date for aboveboard reasons. And they sure as hell aren't going to TELL you that.
Cindy O


Kinda like the ones I have met from here. From the one that tried to trap me into marriage by claiming pregnancy........ Only to learn I had a vasectomy years before.

To the ones that claim they want no commitment but are asking about marriage on the meet and greet.

I even had one that asked about the school system in my county on the first phone call. Yet her intent was no commitment! And was listed as not having children living with her.

I'm sure there are men who mislead as well however I don't date them so I can't comment on that.

So again I say it is important that people be honest about their true intent.
And we wonder why others are "not honest" with us and we can't even be honest with ourselves!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 143
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/14/2014 10:52:23 AM
My remarks were meant as general commentary to the forum and its' participants, they were not about any specific person or specifically about myself.

And I have seen this point discussed many times before in these forums...the interpretation/understanding of the various categories of intent.


I even had one that asked about the school system in my county on the first phone call. Yet her intent was no commitment! And was listed as not having children living with her.

maybe she is a teacher? maybe she wonders about property taxes?

Oh I don't disagree that people lie about their intent, their age, their socioeconomic situations...
But the OT was "is it harder to date now"?
I think it probably is for anything but the most casual social dating/activity partner situations, for the reasons I mentioned in my previous post.
My comments in that post,are based on experience, observation, conversations with people,etc.
hey are not all specifically the exact experiences I have had or situations I am, or ever was-in, they are not directed to anyone specifically.
As to who should or should not be on dating sites, I don't give a rats' ass and it's not for me to say if I did.
However, I do find myself almost in a "defensive dating" attitude because online dating seems to be such haven for cheaters and for men( I don't date women) who just seem to want to get even with all women for the failure of their previous relationships.
If you don't want to encounter differing interpretations of phrases, if you don't want to encounter possible dishonesty, either don't date,or develop your relationships from offline contacts that happen organically. There is still a chance of not being on the same page or not getting the whole truth. As long as there is more than one human being on the planet, there will be situations where disagreement or misunderstanding can happen. That's just how things are, it is not some big-ass conspiracy against a specific person.
Cindy O
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 144
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/14/2014 11:14:02 AM
maybe she is a teacher? maybe she wonders about property taxes?

No maybes she said she wanted to move from south Florida to PCB to live me with her son after about ten minutes into the call. Can you say number blocked?


Oh I don't disagree that people lie about their intent, their age, their socioeconomic situations...
But the OT was "is it harder to date now"?
I think it probably is for anything but the most casual social dating/activity partner situations, for the reasons I mentioned in my previous post.
My comments in that post,are based on experience, observation, conversations with people,etc.
hey are not all specifically the exact experiences I have had or situations I am, or ever was-in, they are not directed to anyone specifically.
As to who should or should not be on dating sites, I don't give a rats' ass and it's not for me to say if I did.


And you don't think people lying makes it harder to date?.......
While I mentioned my own experience there are many that could and have give the same type of experiences that I have had.

Funny that you think I directed any of my comments to anyone. They were general comments about not only internet dating but all dating.

But as pa use to say if the shoe fits.......
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 145
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/14/2014 9:53:00 PM

forumreaderisall:
I find dating very hard, well, I'll rephrase that by saying I don't get dating. I know how to build a life with another, do those daily routine things that make up most of life, but dating? What? Like movies? Dinner? An evening out and then we go to our own homes? It was fun in my teens, in my 50's it is downright stupid. Old people running around tasting the wares. It's just ridiculous. So being 58, dating is harder.


So, should they just show up at the 1st meet with their stuff in a Moving Truck? Do you think this is Amazon for Dating, click on the picture & they're delivered to your door?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 146
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/15/2014 8:34:43 AM
^^^
I'm sorry for your experiences and I hope the fact you are still online is evidence that you still have faith that there's a few gentleman left here:)

Sometimes I feel like I lose points right away for simply being on PoF.
 Halthyguy
Joined: 8/12/2014
Msg: 147
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/15/2014 8:50:32 AM

Sometimes I feel like I lose points right away for simply being on PoF.


You DO lose points to the majority of women , don't doubt that for a second .

Most women would rather be approached in the real world by a confident , savvy guy not HERE where it's anything but a romantic/destiny kind of way to meet .
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 148
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/15/2014 9:19:42 AM

Most women would rather be approached in the real world by a confident , savvy guy not HERE


Do you mean men who profess their undying love and propose marriage to a POF pen pal are not considered good catches? Who would've ever known.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 149
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/15/2014 11:33:17 AM
Maybe people over 50 should look more to ways to meet people IRL and let a potential attraction develop organically.
I do understand that from some viewpoints "dating" like we did under age 25 does seem rather silly.
Myself, I will be glad when we evolve-or devolve-or WHATEVER!-to where 2 people who are interested in one another can just get together without a bunch of "wiles", posturing, and having to adhere to socially constructed roles.
But I agree, if one chooses to go the dating route, you are going to have to accept that it may feel like going back to high school, silly as it may feel. You can't just exchange a few emails or smile and wave to one another a couple of times and then move in together.
Cindy O
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 150
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 8/15/2014 9:49:28 PM

Is it harder to date now?


Absolutely not !

There's a line of women at my door that runs down the block and around the corner, and.......no, wait.....that was just a mirage.

Nevermind.

The answer is yes.


I just turned 58 and I didn't live one single year of my 50's like I thought I would.


Ah, yes, the best laid plans of mice and men.


Maybe I'm lucky, I get to be a kid again.


Again?
I never stopped in the first place.
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 151
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 7:29:23 AM
Nope. It isn't. There's thousands of women out there.

Is it harder to date sane women? Maybe
Is it harder to date solvent women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women with a discernable waist? Maybe
Is it harder to date upbeat, positive women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women who aren't holding out for the guy who drove them mad with lust back when Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul were charting? Uh, yeah.

If you're a dumpster diver, or the kind of man who inspires women to come on dating sites and put "no games, no drama" in their profiles, it's a sexual smörgåsbord out there.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 152
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 7:55:35 AM
Date sane women? Well, there are many of us out there. Yes, some are bitter and cranky after a divorce or two or they've let dogs or cats take over their life. But for the most part, the majority are sane. The same applies to men.

Date solvent women? Again, there are many of us. Yes, some are struggling after what was left after the divorce, finishing raising children, putting a kid or two through college. But many are rebuilding, many are solvent. The same applies to men.

Dates with a waist? I still sort of have one. I'm still a size 6/8 but I've squared up a bit...it's an age thing. I did notice that when a bird pooped on me last month, it landed on my breast which means they still stick out further than my stomach. I don't know if I could say the same for many men. Most men my age look pretty damn good.

Date an upbeat, positive woman? I've always been positive so why change. Some are Negative Nellies but for the most part, women are pretty good. The same applies to men.

Holding out for the hot, rocker, rich guy? Nah, we all grew up. Reality is a good thing.

Find what suits you, don't settle for second best and adjust your attitude. We're not 20 anymore (thank gawd) but we're not dead. Go out and enjoy life to the fullest and decide that this can be done solo or with a partner.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 153
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 8:08:50 AM

Is it harder to date sane women? Maybe
Is it harder to date solvent women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women with a discernable waist? Maybe
Is it harder to date upbeat, positive women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women who aren't holding out for the guy who drove them mad with lust back when Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul were charting? Uh, yeah.


Sane, solvent, upbeat, positive women with a nice figure that weren't already taken were always on the rare side.

I always wonder about those that say it's more rare at some older age, didn't you all date a lot when you were younger?

I have met plenty of poor and less than sane women all my life at every age. As I am sure the same is true of men. Maybe youthful lust in men colors their view of women when the men are younger?
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 154
view profile
History
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 9:58:04 AM
Is it harder to date sane women? Maybe
Is it harder to date solvent women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women with a discernable waist? Maybe
Is it harder to date upbeat, positive women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women who aren't holding out for the guy who drove them mad with lust back when Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul were charting? Uh, yeah.


I know a few solvent women but they have lost their looks and their waists have grown larger than their chests; sometimes even larger than their surgically enhanced chests as well as their hips. Others are so thin and boney they have no chests and have wrinkles they could hide dimes in.

Upbeat and positive? There are a few, very few.

Who are Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul?
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 155
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 11:28:48 AM
^^^ "Upbeat and positive? There are a few, very few."

Why would you ask for upbeat and positive when you are so negative, demeaning and just plain nasty yourself? By your posting, I can't see you attracting many women, including the fat, wrinkled, flat chested and saggy.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 156
view profile
History
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 2:44:17 PM

I can't see you attracting many women, including the fat, wrinkled, flat chested and saggy.


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I concur!!!!!!

Of COURSE it's more difficult to date now...In my 20's and 30's I attracted men much more easily and had very little clue about what to look for in a mate...Didn't even know MYSELF fully...

Now that I do and am clear on what I'm looking for, well...I'm not saying that it can't be found, but usually they live across the country/ocean/world...which makes dating a little difficult...lol


Is it harder to date sane women? Maybe
Is it harder to date solvent women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women with a discernable waist? Maybe
Is it harder to date upbeat, positive women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women who aren't holding out for the guy who drove them mad with lust back when Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul were charting? Uh, yeah.


As for this particular "list" I can say the EXACT same thing about men, but I prefer to focus on the positives and invest my time in PEOPLE that I want to get to know, rather than have a LIST at the ready to check off...Everyone has baggage and if we all wait until we're PERFECT then we'll be waiting a LOOOOONNNNGGG time!!!
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 157
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 5:03:14 PM

Nope. It isn't. There's thousands of women out there.

Is it harder to date sane women? Maybe
Is it harder to date solvent women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women with a discernable waist? Maybe
Is it harder to date upbeat, positive women? Maybe
Is it harder to date women who aren't holding out for the guy who drove them mad with lust back when Stevie Nicks and Paula Abdul were charting? Uh, yeah.

If you're a dumpster diver, or the kind of man who inspires women to come on dating sites and put "no games, no drama" in their profiles, it's a sexual smörgåsbord out there.


Says the man with one who knows how old pic and no full body pic. Mhm.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 158
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 7:14:09 PM
it's not harder to date now that i'm 59 and it's not harder to FIND a date.

it's harder for me to find a date who is FUN!

example:
I don't want to go to Kennywood, the rollercoasters make me sick.
I don't want to see Katy Perry I don't like that stuff it's for kids.
truck night doesn't do anything but get you dirty.
I don't like going to the haunted house or hayride.
it's midnight and i'm tired of dancing, can we go home?
why do we have to dress up in costumes to go to the Medieval Faire?
I can't go out this Saturday, i'm watching the grandchildren.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 159
view profile
History
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/22/2014 8:31:16 PM
^^^I gotta say, at 54, I can relate to those statements. Roller coasters and haunted houses? I don't think so. I can think of other 'fun' activities, and the older I get the more content I am to not to 'do' a whole lot.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 160
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/23/2014 11:16:40 AM
While I do enjoy my Sundays nights watching Downton Abby, I like to DO stuff as well. I'm not infirm or near death, I enjoy a new adventure or just trying something new whether it's a new restaurant, a new vacation spot, a new park, a new museum, etc. And yes, I'd ride the roller coaster or run the zip line.

We are a long time dead. So enjoy the days we have. There are a million things out there to catch our attention, engage us, challenge us, interest us or just try something new. My children have long gone, it's not my job to raise the grandchildren - it's my time.

To me, finding a guy who just wants to spend time watching football or baseball on the idiot box is boring and I don't want that type of man. I want a do'er or a guy that can balance doing things and having a little quiet time.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 161
view profile
History
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/23/2014 12:28:35 PM
Dating is still no problem for me at age 61. A few days ago I met a mid-thirties model quality, sexy, smart, successful lady in the first class section of a flight home. She ended up giving me her card and wanting to get together for a glass of wine and maybe more. Life is great!
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 162
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/23/2014 5:03:26 PM
way to go like2dance^^^^

go where the action is. if the women our own age don't want to do it then we'll find someone who will.

and I personally don't mind going older even thought i'm 59.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 163
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 9/23/2014 6:58:35 PM
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