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Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 159
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?Page 3 of 59    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
WOW!!!! I was just reading some of the post on this question and I am ........shocked!!! About 80% of the women on this posting find intelligence to be a turn-off or annoying. I always tell people when I am in a discussion that most women like their men dumb or not as smart as them and many women have been offended by my comment. But this posting has just confirmed my suspicions after all these years. Like i said before and I will say 100 times more...... You can get farther with a women being a "Bad Boy" than you can being a Gentleman. I guess acting stupid will help also .
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 164
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/31/2006 3:59:22 PM
Is Intelligence A Curse In A Job?

Well, you could be the most educated and book smart guy in the office, but if you piss off your boss enough, you will get your ass kicked to the curb. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you interfere with the chemistry and dynamic needed to work as a team. If you don't know when to shut up and can't figure out who are the right people to not piss off/make happy, you'll never get promoted.

I don't think intelligence matters are much as just pure soft skills, the social skills you need to get around in life. And that's a factor of common sense more than anything else. And that's dealing with anything in life, not just relationships, but everything, including your job and your family.

But, as in real life, some people have both, some people have none. Some people out there know how to be social and have something to say. And some couldn't find the door to a whorehouse, much less do anything worthwhile inside of one. I don't think it's that big of a deal, although it is patently disturbing that as time goes on, more and more people without common sense are allowed to survive by society. I don't know how smart we can be as a society if we continuely prop up the weak and the misguided. But I guess people don't always want to think about why so much of their paycheck gets gutted out for taxes.

Being smart is like being tall, it's better to have it and not need it, than to get excluded because of it when it really counts.

I don't know if Intelligence is a Curse, but I think it is harder for the smart people to be heard when they live in a society whose structure allows so many stupid people to exist around them.
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 167
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/1/2006 6:33:11 AM
The height of cleverness is the ability to conceal it.
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 169
view profile
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/8/2006 5:40:45 PM
Yes and no. If you are with another intelligent person-- not just intelligent but intellectually curious-- then it is a turn-on. To people who never wonder about how a digital camera works or where new ideas come from-- discussions of those topics are so much sound-- like the adult voices in Peanuts tv shows. To people who are interested in those ideas, the talk can be intoxicating. I think it is very important for people to be close to a match where intellect is concerned because the intercourse of the mind is, long term, more important than the intercourse of the body.
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 172
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/15/2006 5:08:58 PM
Personally, I find an intelligent woman to be an aphrodisiac, not saying that I'm not a visual being. But there is nothing worse than sitting down at a dinner trying to keep the conversation going with an airhead. I hate that drive home "alone" wondering why I did'nt stay home in the first place and fix the metaphoric toilet instead. lol
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 173
view profile
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/15/2006 5:35:20 PM
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.
-Lazarus Long
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
–Albert Einstein

Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 175
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/26/2006 4:45:48 AM
To answer your original question - No, intelligence is not a curse in relationships, and intelligent women are attracted to intelligent men. In fact, intelligence in a man can sometimes overcome physical limitations. A woman can grow to be attracted to an intelligent man even if he is not a handsome guy.

True intelligence however includes more than just technical expertise in a particular field. It includes the whole range of human existence including knowing how to respect and treat other people.

True intelligence is very selective in the company it keeps - and that could be considered the curse if you will. But it could also be considered a blessing to avoid entanglements with the wrong people.
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 178
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/27/2006 6:01:49 AM
Is intelligence A Curse In Relationships well in my case it might be for me because it seems some people are shock about the interests in my life and it seems some are shock that I have three college degrees at my age of 27 and it has not gotten me anyone in relationships because some women I run into say I am to smart or a nerd to be in a relationship with them. I dont look like a nerd, I am just a educated man who is diverse and have alot of interests.
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 180
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 9/28/2006 12:07:11 PM
If any women understand the things I have been thru in my life from being a former gang member and changing my life was something I had to do at the age of 12 since I got shot at the age of 10 and so when I got like 12 I started getting involve in groups at school that were positive and got around students who were smarter than me and also got around mentors who really value me. Like I tell women I cant help the fact that I am way smart and have common sense. I guess that is why I always dated older women like from 31 to 39 because most women I talk to at that age didnt care about my smarts or my looks or my flaws what they wanted to know am I going to treat them right. I have also dated women who are smarter than me and didnt have any problems. I just have problems with women who are my own age it seems they dont like great guys even though they said in their ads they want a guy who has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to me it does not count. I am put in a different category when it comes to a guy with a good head on his shoulders. I agree with you I begin to think some women stear away from smart guys because for one in my life the thing some my age always say we are not on the same level so they settle for less. I ask any women why settle for less and go for the best man available.
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 194
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 10/26/2006 7:54:10 AM
I wish alot of the times some of the women where I live at were turn on with a men who has intelligence. Me personally I always been a nerd ever since middle school and the thing is I had a speech problem in school and this day in age and when I tell people today they are like wow and shock that I have spoke in front of crowds and was a Honor Roll student in high school. I dont have the speech problem overcame that in high school and can speak clearly been speaking clearly for over 10 years now. Like I said once before I think me being intelligence is a curse for me in relationships because some have this mindset of guys who look like me that all we know is sports and that is it. I know alot more than sports and it is hard to convince some women that if there mind is already set on what kind of person the man is.
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 195
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:10:49 AM
I don't know if intelligence is a handicap for single men on the prowl; but I can say unequivocally that it doesn't help at all.

Women who say on their profiles that they want intelligent men are either lying, or perhaps they just mean not stupid.
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 198
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/27/2007 8:40:53 AM
The spectre and degree of intelligence within the context of a relationship is crucial to the success or failure of said relationship.

With respect to the parameters that define intelligence.....intellectual capacity should be obviously complemented by social skills, empathy and ensuring one is informed about current events, world affairs and general everyday knowledge. Without this layered approach to is relegated to the "savant" realm.

Hardly a curse.......I consider an abundance of intelligence in a woman.......nourishing and intoxicating.
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 199
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/27/2007 10:59:53 AM
The more intelligent you are, the less likely it is that you can be taken advantage of.

Since it is human nature to capitalize on advantages, then this, logically, would make someone that's a little "sharper" less attractive to one that is focused on the advantages a partner can provide in a relationship, instead of the interactions and other intangible properties that cannot be articulated, but only felt.

Be thankful, then, that some people dislike intelligence.... because they save you the work of sorting through them in the search for your Other.
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 206
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/27/2007 12:49:55 PM
Sombient: First you rebut me and possibly a few others by posting that:

<div class="quote">Note: Intelligence does not automatically protect one from being duped or otherwise deceived. Unfortunately.

But then, you say that:

<div class="quote">You can spot their insincerity a mile away. What they presume to be intelligent prattle that dazzles their prey is also easily discerned and dismissed by the more prudent and intelligent female.

Which is it?

In my example, I said that likelihood of being deceived drops as intelligence increases..... in your example, with your language choice, you insinuate that intelligence effortlessly dispels deception.

Personally, I feel that your posts have quite a bit of condescention in them. You are coming across as an intellectual dilettante..... assisted by contradictions in your post content.

If you aren't careful, you may find that you will give ammunition to some people that will.... pardon me for taking your words...... burst your tender theory bubble.
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 209
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Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/27/2007 1:00:02 PM

Has anyone ever noticed, how many smart cookies are on this site? Men and Women. I for one don't think it's just a proportionate number. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, they just naturally gravitate to the forums.

It must be the PoF hosted MENSA gatherings. I wouldn’t know because we at DENSA don’t have similar meetings since running short of the popular “You’re with Stewpid” T-shirts. Without the T-shirts we have trouble recognizing each other.

But I have read articles, that suggest, apparently many women are not particularly turned-on by intelligent men.

Beauty is in the IQ of the beholder? Do you have a copy of that article (in an easy to read format with pictures)?

Are intellectual types too wrapped up in themselves, too full of themselves, in other words, too Egocentric?

me=m^2c^2 … lol.

What about manipulative and controlling? I think intellectuals have a great capability of manipulating and engineering a relationship, often in extremely subtle ways. And usually, I might add, resulting in failure!

Hey! I always pay extra to be manipulated and controlled. Engineered relationships can be fun until they get locked up with ISO protocols. I had Relationship V6.4 completely lock up on me.

Do they have unrealistic projections and expectations?

Maybe they do, but I use vitamin V to make any and all of my projections completely realistic (at least when viewed from a distance.) Expectations can be controlled (abstinence being the safest method. I know because I practice that whether I like it or not.)

Are many intellectuals doomed to be forever frustrated, isolated and alone?

People with smartz and I have something in common? Wow. Maybe DENSA and MENSA can have interchangeable membership T-Shirts.

What can they do to change? A frontal lobotomy, is probably not an acceptable option!

Don’t knock it until you… -drool- -drool- tried… mmm… nice doggie.

…but seriously…

What fishing_for_answers and others have posted is pretty much the truth.

The OP is alluding that the unflattering traits of self-absorption and arrogance are positively correlated to higher intellect. Those that do exhibit these traits will be more apparent, but these behaviours are probably driven by factors independent of the mental capacity of any given individual.

Possessing significantly higher intelligence could be akin to possessing significantly higher strength. It’s how one chooses to present or use that attribute that determines its impact on interpersonal relationships. As in many things, appearances can be deceiving (hey! Isn’t that what fishing_for_answers just said.)

Then again, perhaps intelligence is important. If any fish have seen the following:

Aishwarya Rai
Beyonce Knowles
Reon Kadena
Catherine Zeta Jones
Jessica Alba
Jaime Pressly

Tell them to smarten up, and call me (forget the 500 ft court-order stalker restraining order). I need all six to declare their undying passion to be my unconditional love slaves.


(How can you tell the SO is out-of-town this weekend? I need a life!)
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 220
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:52:05 PM
>>Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?

Yes, I think so.
OTOH, maybe I am just ugly. It's hard to tell.
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 222
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 1/29/2007 7:12:49 PM
Most dumb people, I believe, should be shot on sight.

I mean, really. By referring to the "intelligent people," you're basically implying you're unintelligent, and I can't think of a woman in the world who would think that is very sexy at all.

Maybe unintelligent people are just jealous of intelligent people, because really intelligent people don't post threads in which they imply they are not intelligent?

Too wrapped up in themselves? Too manipulative? Too controlling? Please.

All human beings have equal potential to be manipulative and malicious. A person's intelligence has nothing to do with a person's character, and to assume the two coincide is rather unintelligent.

I expect nothing of anyone I am with except that they respect those who deserve respect.

Intellectuals doomed to be alone forever? LOL Many of us will be alone forever, but if we are truly intelligent, being alone forever won't bother us, because we are comfortable with and in ourselves.

I am searching for a woman who either thinks like me or respects how I think. Will I find her? Maybe not. Do I care? Not really. My life rocks either way.

What can intelligent people do to change? Shoot the dumb people on sight.

Life is simple. We make it complicated.
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 230
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:42:45 PM
>>For the very intelligent, love is harder to find, because there are less potentially compatible people out there.

I don't buy that, because I don't insist that my partner be as smart as I am.

>>Intelligence causes you to feel superior to others,

Not exactly superior...I feel like someone with 20/20 vision in the land of the blind. I feel normal, most everyone else seems a little handicapped, and I have an obligation to help them.

Of course, some people are stupid and proud of it...I just let them walk into walls.

BTW, don't expect to meet a lot of smart girls when you go back to the university (you can tell I'm American because I put "the" before university!).
Unless you go to graduate school--then the people around you start getting smart.

>>I'm intelligent. 98th or so percentile.

That means 133 or above, on the stanford binet, just in case anyone was wondering.
It also means you qualify for mensa--if you are correct.
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 231
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/15/2007 12:09:40 AM
>>I don't buy that, because I don't insist that my partner be as smart as I am.
There are bound to be exceptions, (perhaps I am the exception) but from my experience, and apparently from the experience of at least a few others on here, a relationship is more satisfying and compelling with someone of matching intelligence.

What's of more importance from my standpoint--would a girl be turned off by dating a guy smarter than her? I don't mind the situation, but would she?

Edit: to the fellow below--go for it. We are a friendly bunch. :)
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 233
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:16:52 AM
Not in my book! Given the choice between an average-looking man with a high intellect and a drop-dead gorgeous man with a below-average intellect, I'll take the intelligent man any time! In fact, the older I get, the more I realize how much of an aphrodesiac intelligence actually is.

In my youth, I spent five years with someone who was drop-dead gorgeous, but was dim-witted. I tried to convince myself that I could always go to other people for my intellectual stimulation. Not so! Eventually, after I nearly died from boredom, I moved on. I thought about this man from time to time through the years, and of course, realized I'd made the right decision. What if I had actually married this man?? Looks fade, but a sharp wit will always keep me interested!
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 234
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/15/2007 8:26:39 AM
Msg 328 - I truly hope you're kidding...most people who are intelligent are also compassionate, emphatic, and caring. Perhaps what you're really describing are people who *think* they know-it-all, yet actually they know nothing? And anyone who lets someone get away with something because they're *cute* isn't very smart, IMO.

Msg 329 - exactly...I've dated gorgeous men who couldn't hold a conversation to save their life, and then I've dated men who may not have attracted me from across the room because of their looks, but after talking with them they were very attractive to me. If a man can't stimulate my mind, there's no chance he'll be able to stimulate anything else...and any man who can stimulate my mind is going to be very attractive in my eyes.
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 236
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/15/2007 10:24:09 AM
I think that many of the women who say they want intelligence in a man are not talking about genius level intelligence.
They just want a guy who isn't dumber then them.
If you are smarter than 98 out of 100 people, a big chunk of those people aren't going to want to date you because they can't understand you, or they have an inferiority complex, or some such reason.
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 238
Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 2/15/2007 10:42:43 AM
Exanimo--Yay, a fellow Mensan. :)
Yes, I agree that there are a lot of misconceptions about the highly intelligent.
Actually I think a lot of us are maladjusted to some extent. It's as much of a handicap as it is useful.
>>as long as they were able to communicate with me on a level mental playing field.

That's an interesting statement. What do you mean by that, if not that they are as good at "analyzing and retaining information and applying it to problems", as you put it?
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