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 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 407
When is flirting cheating?Page 12 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Flirting becomes cheating when the other person sees it as cheating. Everyone is going to have a different opinion. Some people will see it as harmless, some will see it as risky, and some will say it's cheating.

There's no right or wrong answer. And there's really no safe advice we can give you. Only, if you're unsure of if you should be doing it or not, then stop and get rid of any risk.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 408
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/23/2012 9:44:50 AM

Flirting becomes cheating when the other person sees it as cheating. Everyone is going to have a different opinion. Some people will see it as harmless, some will see it as risky, and some will say it's cheating.

There's no right or wrong answer. And there's really no safe advice we can give you. Only, if you're unsure of if you should be doing it or not, then stop and get rid of any risk.


Like HE said.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 410
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:37:56 PM
If you wouldn't do something in front of your partner and feel a need to hide, it probably is cheating.

Cheating is deception, and not being open and honest with your partner.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 411
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:48:17 PM
cheating is a really nasty, and major thing...
the word gets tossed around a lot, too much!!!
i have had 2 long term relationships , both women were, really ,really flirty, but both were totally loyal
nothing at all wrong with a woman who is a major flirt, just as long as she is coming home with me!!!
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 412
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:56:53 PM

Flirting becomes cheating when the other person sees it as cheating. Everyone is going to have a different opinion. Some people will see it as harmless, some will see it as risky, and some will say it's cheating.

There's no right or wrong answer. And there's really no safe advice we can give you. Only, if you're unsure of if you should be doing it or not, then stop and get rid of any risk.


This sums it up completely, and really, there's no need for anyone else to weigh in after.
 myjourney05
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 413
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/30/2012 12:04:02 PM
The one can give the right answer is your partner. You should ask her view.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 414
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/30/2012 12:28:23 PM
It's simple. If you wouldn't do it in front of her face...don't do it behind her back.
 strolly10
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 415
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:32:50 PM
Its cheating, plain and simple. Your in a relationship and on a dating site. You do the math genius!
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 416
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:48:25 PM
Yes, flirting is cheating, and just dressing to attract attention is a form of flirting ;
So wearing tight jeans etc. is cheating.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 418
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/26/2014 1:14:18 AM
I would say that flirting (while you are in a relationship) is more "inappropriate" than it is 'cheating' per se.

I am sure there is a cultural component to it. I remember reading way back when I was in kolledge, back in the 1800's, that flirting is a national pastime in a lot of Latin American countries.

I work with predominantly Hispanics, and several have said to me, "NikonGuy, a Hispanic woman (certain countries are known more for flirting than others), can give you the 'look', make suggestive comments, etc. and meanwhile, she has a boyfriend, husband, partner, etc. and her flirtations mean nothing."

When I first started there, I thought to myself, "Self, I think this woman is hitting on me." Little did I know, it was just about the need for a couple of women to boost their own ego and their insatiable need for attention.

Who knew?

I've never been one who needs or seeks attention, so I do not understand it.

Regardless of how 'harmless' it is, I don't, couldn't, and wouldn't trust a woman who is flirting with men (when I'm not around). If you won't do it in front of my face, then you already KNOW that what you're doing is wrong.

Just had this very conversation with a colleague yesterday, RE: a woman that he is seeing. The woman is very charming and flirtatious. He asked my opinion. I told him, "I like her. She's one of the most charming women I have ever met, but I do not trust her and she would not be relationship material (for me)."

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting."

I find absolutely nothing attractive about an involved woman who feels the need to solicit the attentions/approval of random guys.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 419
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/26/2014 6:52:14 AM

can give you the 'look', make suggestive comments, etc. and meanwhile, she has a boyfriend, husband, partner, etc. and her flirtations mean nothing.


I am from Venezuela. Venezuelan women are very flirtatious. So are Colombians, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans. However, there's a limit to where that flirt goes from being a cultural thing, to a personal thing. I've had females flirt to me in front of their husbands. It's cultural there. The guy is also secure enough that he sees us as the group having fun. If the flirting continued in a more "private" setting, then not good, that becomes personal.

I had one girlfriend that flirted a lot. The problem was that she did not know when to stop, when to indicate the "I am with this guy," type of body language or expression. It got to the point that I did not like to take her out in public because of that nature. My now girlfriend is very American and doesn't flirt at all. In fact she finds it very annoying when we are at a party and guys hit on her.

So flirting in itself is not the problem, but what is used for.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 420
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/26/2014 9:20:39 AM
^^^ InnerGorilla

I overstand EVERYTHING that you just typed. I totally 'get' the whole flirting thing with a lot of Hispanics. I even 'get' (some of the) reasons behind it.

For ME (with no Latin American roots) and not being from that culture, I see it (my lady flirting with another man), as highly disrespectful.

To ME, the POINT is NOT, 'whether it is going to lead anywhere' or even what her real intentions are.

I am the type of guy that when I am in a relationship, I may not speak to, or even see, my lady for days at a time. I prefer a woman who has her own interests, hobbies, friends, and life going on. I do not want her to depend on me for 100% of her social life.

So what?

I want to feel 247% comfortable, that my lady is 'above board' and can be trusted to KNOW what is appropriate (to me); and I do not, could not, and would not, feel comfortable, knowing that (especially when I am not around, but it doesn't even matter if I am around), she makes 'innocent' comments, suggestive remarks, and is sniggling and giggling in some other dude's face.

I work in a place with 350 people. Mostly women. A decent number of attractive women. By far, the baddest broad (and I use the term affectionately) in the place (in terms of looks, brains, and personality), is married to a guy in my dept. She (seems to be) the warmest, friendliest, most down to earth, chill woman you could ever meet in your life. She has a smile that will "light your life up"........................BUT, I have NEVER gotten the impression, seen, or thought that she was flirting with me or any other dude there. By all appearances, she ONLY has eyes for HER dude.

That is the kind of woman that I (and 10 million other single men in America) am trying to find.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 421
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/26/2014 10:22:57 AM

That is the kind of woman that I (and 10 million other single men in America) am trying to find.


I understand how you feel about it. In the end you have to feel 100 percent comfortable with the person and with their intensions. I would question flirting coming from a person from a culture that does not flirt, thus giving me the impression that they have, the "other motives."
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 422
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/27/2014 7:42:03 AM
I don't consider flirting as cheating. But it certainly can lead to cheating.

I used to flirt a lot, regardless of whether I was with a steady GF or wife. I just liked the sexual aspect of word play with a woman.

But the last 4 years I have avoided doing this as some women start to take it seriously and then I have to find a way to back off. Emotionally the male part of me wants to move forward into a physical relationship, while intellectually I know this will lead to misery, since I am in a relationship and don't want to change that.

So while conflicted I still back off but it makes me uncomfortable, and I can no longer flirt with that particular woman.

My ex-wife didn't like it when I flirted with someone, my first GF didn't like me flirting, very few women that I have been in a relationship with would accept that for me it was just enjoyment of being clever with words.

Off times when I am with my wife in Thailand, women will attempt to flirt with me. When I was married previously and while in the USA, once in a while I would get really outrageous flirting even involving touching from some random woman. I think those random women maybe did it to make their partners jealous, I don't think it really had anything to do with me. It was really weird as nothing was going to come of it, so it must have had nothing really to do with an attraction to me.

The only time someone I was involved with flirted with men was in one relationship where when she was angry with me she flirted very deliberately and obviously to make me jealous and to get a reaction. I was never really sure how far she would take it, when she got angry she didn't have any limits, at least none that I was aware of.

Outside of that one relationship, if some guy was attempting to hit on my partner, I would likely be amused since I know it would never go anywhere. Like once when I was first dating my ex-wife, a guy who was hung up on her saw us together. His total confusion when he saw us as a couple was so obvious that he developed tunnel vision. He was suppose to meet two female co-worker, but couldn't even see them when they were a few feet away. I looked at the women he was supposed to meet, they looked back at me, we all got what his problem was, it was funny and a little pathetic.

Bottom line, I no longer flirt with anyone outside of my wife, it just makes life easier.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 423
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/27/2014 4:49:28 PM
For me, the bottom line question is.....................and NOBODY has ever offered up a half-way decent answer,

"If you're in a relationship, exactly how does flirting with someone else enhance YOUR relationship?" (not feeding YOUR own ego, but the relationship as a whole).

Nobody is saying a woman has to walk around wearing a burkha or avoiding all contact with men. However, I have no interest in my lady initiating random conversation, smiles, sexual innuendo, banter, and giggling with the next random dude. That is what single people do. Again, (outside of your own ego), what good is to come of raising or arousing the interest of another, when you're (ostensibly) not in a position to act upon it?

YOU may be "joking around" and being "friendly", what happens when the other person is not? You've created a 'situation' where there didn't need to be one.

I don't even have the time or interest in "chatting up" the next dude's woman, if I know she's 'taken'. Tell me what you need to tell me..................and be on your merry way. I don't care for non-single women to be 'all up in my face'.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 7/18/2014
Msg: 424
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/29/2014 7:29:38 PM
My last EX 'flirted' online with loads of women, if that's what you'd even call it, also joined a dating site behind my back. We were living together….and yet I was alone in the dark about it all. Wasn't just innocent 'flirting' turned into making plans to meet them, saying things he would definitely never say in front me to another woman. So was it cheating? To me it certainly was, and I felt very disrespected. Turn the tables, and you'd think that behavior would fly with him, if I did the same? HELL no.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 425
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/29/2014 7:47:17 PM
But the last 4 years I have avoided doing this as some women start to take it seriously and then I have to find a way to back off. Emotionally the male part of me wants to move forward into a physical relationship, while intellectually I know this will lead to misery, since I am in a relationship and don't want to change that.


I hate to tell you this. But you are a man. Men have urges, desires. I still see women and go, hmmmmm. Interestingly enough, the women I do that has the physical look of my girlfriend (or should I say fiance, since we are going in that direction). I have mentioned this to her. It's an urge that we have.

I am from South America, we flirt, it's out nature. Men do it, women do it. We do it life. Not in the internet. So with people I know, I do the south american flirt. When I go to parties with my girlfriend, we both work the room. We talk to people, we flirt, but there's something important, we come back to the center, if some guy or in my case some girl seems too interested, we indicate that we have boyfriends slash girlfriends. Half of this works in the body language. A good looking guy is hitting on my girl across the room. I am talking to a friend about geo-politics or how the network where he works covered a particular event. I see her looking at me, with a look of well... I head in that direction, and smile at both of them. My girlfriend smiles and moves towards me and caresses my arm or something. The guy backs off a little, we introduce each other, casually, we talk. She either walks away with me, or engages another group of people, I do the same. Now the sharks know who she is with. No big deal. But it's not the same with women. Go figure. The moment that many women see you with a very attractive women, they want to talk to you, and they will flirt with you to no end. So now it's me the one that has to send the body language that says, back off. I am with my girl.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 426
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/30/2014 8:01:50 AM
you're a dishonorable man.

your SO deserves better than you if she herself is honorable.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 428
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/30/2014 10:50:26 AM
I agree that women like to flirt when you're with an attractive woman.

I can't tell you how many women have sucked up and down on the neck of a beer bottle while making eye contact with me while I was on a date. usually they did it right behind her back.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 429
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/30/2014 3:53:17 PM
When I'm with someone and happy and satisfied with the relationship....I DON'T flirt,or create/take advantage of situations that could lead to flirting...
Ever hear the expression, "flirting with disaster"???

If a guy I was with was flirting in front of me, and it HAS happened!, then I will address it as I see fit at the time...
I once had a dinner party with an ex, a friend of mine, female, and another two friends male and female, not a couple...
Throughout the dinner I noticed that my ex was being quite solicitous of the female friend...pulling out her chair for her, asking her if she needed anything, etc.
I'm not generally an insecure person and thought, initially at least, that it was nice of him to treat her so nicely...
As the evening wore on we were playing a board game and I started to feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention that he was paying to this friend...in fact it became almost, but not quite, inappropriate...although I did feel that it was disrespectful of him to say the least....
After questioning my own feelings for the majority of the evening, it finally came to an end, and after everyone had left, I questioned him as to why he had behaved that way...He tried to laugh it off as "just being nice" but when I pointed out that he hadn't been that nice to the other female present, or me, for that matter...he became uncomfortable and clammed up....

Not surprisingly, the relationship ended not long after...
No I don't think that there's anything wrong with some harmless flirting, with the cashier at the grocery store, waitress, etc. However, there's a fine line between being flirtatious for it's own sake, and being flirtatious with a goal in mind...
If I met a man online and we were seeing each other exclusively, then no, I don't expect that he is still going to be online and flirting with other women, and neither am I, and if he does it in front of me, that, also, sends a pretty clear message....
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 430
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 9/30/2014 9:22:16 PM

As the evening wore on we were playing a board game and I started to feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention that he was paying to this friend...in fact it became almost, but not quite, inappropriate...although I did feel that it was disrespectful of him to say the least....


The moment that you feel this way, it's time to walk away. Not only crosses the line, but while there, they were unable to see how uncomfortable you felt. Kudos for getting rid of the guy.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 432
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/1/2014 6:15:49 AM

I hate to tell you this. But you are a man. Men have urges, desires. I still see women and go, hmmmmm. Interestingly enough, the women I do that has the physical look of my girlfriend (or should I say fiance, since we are going in that direction). I have mentioned this to her. It's an urge that we have.


Flirting for men is like keeping chocolate on the desk when you are dieting. It creates a constant temptation, it's really easier to not flirt and leave well enough alone.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 433
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History
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/3/2014 10:04:17 AM
i just love it when the woman i am with flirts like crazy,love women who cant get enough attention
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 434
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/3/2014 11:02:55 AM
shyguyjohnny-If you are hiding it, you know it's wrong and you shouldn't be doing it!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 435
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/3/2014 11:09:44 AM
When you have to ask this question.
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