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Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 326
When is flirting cheating?Page 14 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
AWW ronnie u said something that make's sense at last lol
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 327
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/28/2010 4:59:17 PM
Seems like you shouldn't be flirting with someone else if you're into who you are with. You are asking the wrong question here.
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 328
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/28/2010 6:16:43 PM
I have a lady in my life who I have known for almost 9 years now and who sort of takes claim to me. Our relationship is non-sexual and of only a companionship nature. Neither of us wish to be married to each other or anyone else for that matter. We are just friends of opposite genders.
I am a flirt, always have been. In fact, my lady friend gives her lady friends the heads up about my being a flirt. It is all innocent to me and it gives me an avenue by which I can make friends more readilly by giving compliments. Most of her lady friends adore me.
Sometimes I detect a look of jealousy by my 9 year long friend. I ask her if I shouldn't be acting as such and she gives sometimes mixed thoughts about it. She does love me in her own way, as I do her, but we both know we could never live together as we are always disagreeing about everything. It's as if we had given up on each other as potential partners in life many years ago but we stay seeing each other out of a need for one anothers friendship. If that makes sense to anyone.
I do flirt and feel comfortably innocent about what I do but I DO let her friends know right there in front of her that she is the only one for me because I have her stuck right here in my heart. She's my friend, and because she IS a woman I often feel as though I am cheating on our friendship if I show any other woman attention.
But then too, we could all be out with our best friend of our own same gender and if our friend showed more friendly attention to another friend of our own gender then we could also feel a twinge of jealousy there too. Wouldn't you agree? I mean your best friend would now rather hang out with someone else. It kind of hurts.
To be honest, I'm not sure that anything outside of having sex outside of a relationship can be considered "cheating". I mean where do you draw the line?
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 329
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:38:14 PM
to make a long story short.

my ex gf was on the bus home after spending christmas with her cousin. accordingly she was reading the book i bought her for christmas and an older man started to talk to her about writing (the book was about helping to write plots) at the end of it she gave him her number.

she told me this. But since she was being honest all was good. Next day she ends a call with me to take an hour long coversation with this man. After which she rings me up. I ask was it him? she said yes. I ask what did you talk about for a hour? she says only about writing. And that she wanted to meet up with this man. My gut tells me more was said on the phone. After 5 mins i get out of her that she was talking about sex to him. Not just about the topic but with having it with him.

We fight.
dont talk for a few days.
less than 4 days later, only the second time she met the man. She slept with him.

as said above. flirting can have intention. the proof is all above.
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 330
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:12:48 PM
Flirting isn't cheating. But it can still be damaging to a relationship. So...yeah, I am not a flirt..and flirting in and of itself doesn't bother me as I'm not the jealous type either. But I do think that mutual courtesy and respect is important in a relationship. And what you pay attention to , flourishes. So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it ;-)
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 331
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:56:51 PM
i would not like my bf or husband flirting on line without me knowing it.
you are hiding it from her for a reason.
i dont think its cheating..
but i feel that you should quit. why do you do it?
there are lots of other on line things to do.
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 332
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 11:14:59 PM
I term Cheating including flirting anything you would feel uncomfortable doing in front of your partner, and vice a versa.

Real easy and simple for me.

And I am an admitted flirt there is a huge difference between being a flirt and a tease. A flirt will never allude to nor promise something they can't or won't fulfill, a tease does all of those things for self gratification.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 333
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 11:36:36 PM

Break the rules and there'll be consequences. If you don't know the boundaries involved with flirting and you allow it to become intimate, then it's no longer flirting now is it? Then it becomes cheating.

Intimate does NOT just mean sexual contact in person for it to be cheating. If you are continually talking with the same person and developing feelings hoping for more then it's crossed the line to cheating.

flirting with the same person consistently is when it can lead to cheating.

There is innocent flirting such as you do with friends or aquaintances but flirting with some one with sexual intentions then it would be cheating. If your SO would be hurt by the words you are saying/typing to this other person it is cheating. If you have to hide it from them it is wrong.
 Divorced, Broke, Bald
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 334
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:13:49 AM

my ex gf was on the bus ... the proof is all above.

Your cheating girlfriend means all flirting is cheating? Thank god she wasn't eating at the time or all dining would be cheating. I guess all mass transit is cheating as well.

Heck, we don't even know if the guy was flirting. From all you've said, he was upfront about his intentions, for all we can tell.

Your girl was a cheat - that proves nothing about flirting.
Joined: 12/22/2009
Msg: 335
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:17:25 AM
If you have to sneak in order to do it (in your case, flirting), it's obviously wrong. If she found out and started flirting with guys guess what would happen? Either you'd get jealous and that would mess with your relationship or you would act like you don't care and that would mess with your relationship. So the question you should ask yourself is how important is your relationship to you?
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 336
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:19:48 AM
IMO, when your intentions are to physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally arouse, someone (other than the person you are in a sexual relationship with), in order to 'test' whether or not the opportunity could exist, for a sexual relationship to occur.

There it is, in black and white.
 Divorced, Broke, Bald
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 337
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:29:03 AM
Except then it is not flirting; the intention is different.

In other words, V1, you are saying that flirting is cheating when it isn't flirting. Cheating and flirting are two separate things. Therefore, you are saying that flirting is flirting when it's not flirting.

There it is: in uppper and lower case.
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 338
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 11:29:34 AM
you're treading dangerous waters. it's easy to slide a little further into it...then just a little further yet into it...and then even just a little further...and eventually there's a good possibility it'll lead to an affair. if it's something done strictly for an ego boost, you need to find that ego and also the excitement in other ways. i know it's hard with a long-time's gets old & dull, but if you were to spend the time focusing on your current relationship, you might be surprised at how much better it can be...may never be quite as exciting as when new, but there are other ways that you can feel truly bonded and increase that bond with your current partner. also, consider this: if it ever leads to an affair, the next one will be easier...and you'll find yourself drifting further and further from your current partner. it's a recipe for disaster if you have any hope of anything closer with your current partner. you're not only cheating her, you're cheating yourself. in addition, if you ever end up with someone else, i don't care how thrilling and exciting it seems, it too, will eventually grow stale. if you ever get to that point, you'll find yourself in a position where you're going to have to live a life of serial monogamy (or polygamy) to keep the endorphins flowing. it's just not really an answer. for now, i would recommend to quit the flirting...don't tempt fate...and really try for at least the next few yrs to grow your current relationship. you're courting disaster...for the relationship, her, and for yourself. it's not a permanent solution to a possibly dull'll just keep repeating'll never be enough with anyone. think about it...
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 339
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:05:58 PM
When you start hiding your behavior from your SO....thats when its cheating
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 340
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:10:44 PM
seems to me everyone on these posts seems to lump' flirting' and 'coming on' into the same pile.

I flirt all the time, it makes people feel good...that is not to be confused with coming onto someone..
.babies naturally flirt,and I am pretty sure when they bat their eyes at you , there is no alternative motive..they are just letting your know they enjoy you being you!!
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 341
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:41:59 PM
Thanks for the reply "Divorced, Broke, Bald" (ha awesome username too :P
I guess you could say my girlfriend was just a cheat. she swore blindly it was nothing but friendship she wanted. just a lying cheat.

as for flirting - as said dozens of times in the thread its the intentions. my story above to help support that. If someone in a relationship flirts with a co-worker or what not and if that "relationship" doesnt go further then its harmless flirting. If it leads to giving a phone number, or meeting outside of that "relationship", that aint flirting. As said previously its flirting with intention / testing the waters.

I like to think we are all adults here. We all aint stupid. Sure we can all be blind in relationships but if your Other Half is flirting then use your own ability to know whats going on. People can be liars. No one will ever tell the truth if they have intentions. People will always play the "there is nothing going on" or "you are parnanoid" card.

People should use their own ability to sense their intentions. Use your gut instinct. If its telling you something is not right here. its hardly wrong. Simple fact is if you are in a relationship and if you do something that will hurt your partner then its wrong.

My view of this is if you're in a relationship with a person you are happy with why flirt? why do I need to flirt to make me feel wanted? my OH will/should make me feel wanted.
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 342
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:55:16 PM

In other words, V1, you are saying that flirting is cheating when it isn't flirting.

That's right.
I mean, ya...

Cheating and flirting are two separate things.


Therefore, you are saying that flirting is flirting when it's not flirting.

I mean, flirting is cheating when it's not flirting.

If you don't stop, I'm telling Margo on you...
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 343
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 2:51:47 PM

some people are simply trying to atone what they are doing!

Definition of flirting:

"a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged) with intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level."

No need to super analyze that one:

Flirting IS cheating.

Will you Buy all the ingredients, prepare a fine meal, cook it to perfection....and then throw it to the garbage because you never been hungry in the first place??


It's easy: someone flirt with you and you are in a relationship: Simply say "am Flattered but no thank you, am in a relationship and it is disrespectful and inappropriate for you to continue on this line." or simply end the conversation.

If ou indulge yourself into it, then you are cheating big time.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 344
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 2:53:21 PM
I really think that when you can't tell someone what your doing, for fear that they will get upset, especially when it comes down to how they would see it, than I think you know the answer. People flirt all the time, and in person, how it's interpreted is fairly easy to figure out. When you are spending time on the internet, engaging people to flirt with, doesn't matter one iota if you say up front that you are married or with girlfriend, whatever.. that disclaimer is for you in my opinion. Because where ever this flirting takes you, it always falls back on the disclaimer now doesn't it? Doesn't matter that someone might start liking you, or if the girlfriend would be upset, this after all is about your own desires. No flirting isn't cheating, but it certainly is allowing a door to open, I guess my next question would be, should you NEVER meet the one you flirt with, and you start cybering with them, does that not constitute cheating? After all you didn't touch them?

Where do you draw the line INDEED...
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 345
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 9:11:31 PM
Commonsens is right.
sums up the whole thing.
if anyone disagrees with him, well, you're a cheater.
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 346
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 9:18:33 PM
You need to ask yourself if it would bother you if she was flirting with guys on line for fun, if it does you just answer your own question, in a sense it's cheating, plus your doing it behind her back.
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 347
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:03:54 PM
if you can't be straight out honest with your partner, shes not going to be straight out honest with you. If you have to hide things from your partner I'd say yes you are cheating. If you are open with her, she'll be more open with you.
 Pondering the Circle.....
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 348
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:22:57 PM
Necro Post.
Flirting is looking for something you don't have but want...this post is a way of trying to 'legitimatize' your feelings...if you want to F someone go F 'em.
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 349
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:26:32 AM
Yes I have been there . Flirting is cheating when you have a partner in life and you feel the need to flirt and seek the attention of other women. You can be friendly and cordial, there is no need to encourage the other woman or disrespect the woman you say is permanent partner. Just shows you have no respect for them and you have no feelings. You don't care about who you hurt.
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 350
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:29:41 AM
Sorry didn't finish that .
You only care about what you want and the purse strings. And of course if Momming agrees with your choice.
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