Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 330
When is flirting cheating?Page 4 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Flirting isn't cheating. But it can still be damaging to a relationship. So...yeah, I am not a flirt..and flirting in and of itself doesn't bother me as I'm not the jealous type either. But I do think that mutual courtesy and respect is important in a relationship. And what you pay attention to , flourishes. So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it ;-)
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 331
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:56:51 PM
i would not like my bf or husband flirting on line without me knowing it.
you are hiding it from her for a reason.
i dont think its cheating..
but i feel that you should quit. why do you do it?
there are lots of other on line things to do.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 333
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/31/2010 11:36:36 PM

Break the rules and there'll be consequences. If you don't know the boundaries involved with flirting and you allow it to become intimate, then it's no longer flirting now is it? Then it becomes cheating.

Intimate does NOT just mean sexual contact in person for it to be cheating. If you are continually talking with the same person and developing feelings hoping for more then it's crossed the line to cheating.

flirting with the same person consistently is when it can lead to cheating.

There is innocent flirting such as you do with friends or aquaintances but flirting with some one with sexual intentions then it would be cheating. If your SO would be hurt by the words you are saying/typing to this other person it is cheating. If you have to hide it from them it is wrong.
Joined: 12/22/2009
Msg: 335
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:17:25 AM
If you have to sneak in order to do it (in your case, flirting), it's obviously wrong. If she found out and started flirting with guys guess what would happen? Either you'd get jealous and that would mess with your relationship or you would act like you don't care and that would mess with your relationship. So the question you should ask yourself is how important is your relationship to you?
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 338
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 11:29:34 AM
you're treading dangerous waters. it's easy to slide a little further into it...then just a little further yet into it...and then even just a little further...and eventually there's a good possibility it'll lead to an affair. if it's something done strictly for an ego boost, you need to find that ego and also the excitement in other ways. i know it's hard with a long-time's gets old & dull, but if you were to spend the time focusing on your current relationship, you might be surprised at how much better it can be...may never be quite as exciting as when new, but there are other ways that you can feel truly bonded and increase that bond with your current partner. also, consider this: if it ever leads to an affair, the next one will be easier...and you'll find yourself drifting further and further from your current partner. it's a recipe for disaster if you have any hope of anything closer with your current partner. you're not only cheating her, you're cheating yourself. in addition, if you ever end up with someone else, i don't care how thrilling and exciting it seems, it too, will eventually grow stale. if you ever get to that point, you'll find yourself in a position where you're going to have to live a life of serial monogamy (or polygamy) to keep the endorphins flowing. it's just not really an answer. for now, i would recommend to quit the flirting...don't tempt fate...and really try for at least the next few yrs to grow your current relationship. you're courting disaster...for the relationship, her, and for yourself. it's not a permanent solution to a possibly dull'll just keep repeating'll never be enough with anyone. think about it...
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 339
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:05:58 PM
When you start hiding your behavior from your SO....thats when its cheating
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 340
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:10:44 PM
seems to me everyone on these posts seems to lump' flirting' and 'coming on' into the same pile.

I flirt all the time, it makes people feel good...that is not to be confused with coming onto someone..
.babies naturally flirt,and I am pretty sure when they bat their eyes at you , there is no alternative motive..they are just letting your know they enjoy you being you!!
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 343
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/1/2010 2:51:47 PM

some people are simply trying to atone what they are doing!

Definition of flirting:

"a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged) with intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level."

No need to super analyze that one:

Flirting IS cheating.

Will you Buy all the ingredients, prepare a fine meal, cook it to perfection....and then throw it to the garbage because you never been hungry in the first place??


It's easy: someone flirt with you and you are in a relationship: Simply say "am Flattered but no thank you, am in a relationship and it is disrespectful and inappropriate for you to continue on this line." or simply end the conversation.

If ou indulge yourself into it, then you are cheating big time.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 351
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/2/2010 6:12:42 AM
my ex was a total flirt,she was very pretty , in a mass media sort of way, tall blond, boobs ext.... but she never ever cheated on me, she never made me feel humiliated, she would always come to me and make it clear who she was with, some women(men) just like the attention, no harm done
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 352
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/2/2010 7:25:19 AM
Well, if you find your mate doing some flirting behind your back and you feel hurt by it, it's cheating.

Same thing if you do the same way by your mate.....

Respect and love are two way streets.
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 356
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/3/2010 7:58:33 AM
Well said DBB.

We can't change the core of who we are for anyone and should not try. It only ends relationships badly.
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 358
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/3/2010 8:30:59 PM
If intention is not to be considered when it comes to flirting, then it must be excluded from other situations as well

Intention IS always considered as flirting is a deliberated act.
Anywhoo, try this one: “sorry darling, it didn’t had the intention but my penis sliped inside your best friend.” Will she say “ooooh it’s ok you didn’t had the intention.” (insert anything here).
Aren't you even aware of what you are doing? are you comatose? Does someone force or oblige you to flirt? No!? So you well know what you are doing; am repeating for emphasis: you - know- what -you're- doing,
So it's a voluntary and conscious act that you do toward a third party.

If flirting is cheating regardless of intention, then by extension, anything one does that might attract the opposite sex is cheating. Sorry, gals - short skirts are out.

Rofl! incredible how some try to justify things! There is a wooping difference between Flirting: which is a voluntary and conscious act that you do toward a third party, an outward action; and dressing: which is an inward action and obligation that you do for yourself!
- You know you are in a couple, but you decide to flirt with another and act on it.
- You are dressed in a short skirt, it is because it make you feel good; if it is pleasing to others by the same token, so be it, but it doesn’t mean that you will interact with those persons in any ways!

Personally, anybody who was that insecure and controlling that she demanded that I behave differently would soon be looking for somebody else to change.

Everyone that is in a couple change in a way or the other. why? because they care, love and respect their partner, they have grow and adapted to have another person in their life! Of course, unless you are narcissic or simply are using/abusing/manipulating the other person.
I will even go to the length that this type of person, whom when caught cheating will even put the guilt/blame on their partner for their own action. (It’s your fault if am cheating).

Of course, in the end, it comes down to personal choice. If you don't like flirting, then don't date a flirter. Why must this become such a hand-wringing exercise? If you're that insecure - don't date

Agree it is a personal choice: respect your partner or don’t, be a cheater or don’t, be self centered and self oriented or don’t.
If you have no respect and only think about your little own narcissic pleasure or your need to fill you self esteem problems, yeah by all means: Don’t date!

Edit: "To flirt when you're "taken" betrays serious self esteem issues"
Right on Eldrida!
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 365
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/12/2010 1:48:10 AM
If you do anything with another person (opposite sex) that you would not want your significant other to know about, it is cheating.

Internet flirting is not an innocent pastime when you have a significant other. When people are online with each other they don't know everything that is needed for a true relationship. They fill in the blanks of "What they do not know" with "what they hope for". This fantasy always seems superior to reality.

I have been there. My ex from 2005 fell into this very trap.
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 366
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/12/2010 4:36:56 AM
The OP started this thread a few years ago but still has his profile up. I couldn't imagine wasting my time "chatting" with an overweight, bald, married guy. Blech. I'd rather watch a 6-hour documentary on tooth decay - over and over and over and over and over again.

I think having a profile to find "chat friends" - on a DATING SITE - is pretty damned transparent.

You want "chat friends" OP? Go to a board where you share a common interest with others (stamp collecting, kite flying, bass fishing, smarmy married people innocently claiming they just want "chat buddies" online, etc. etc.) and find your friends there.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 374
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/13/2010 11:58:05 AM
I view flirting as a fun and playful way to interact with people. I usually flirt without intent, the people I flirt with know I'm flirting without intent, and it's fun all around.

Flirting is only cheating if it breaks the boundaries you and your SO have agreed to in your relationship. Personally, I don't agree not to flirt occasionally with others, so it's never been cheating in any of my relationships (and yes, this extends both ways--an SO of mine is welcome to flirt with others as well).
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 377
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/13/2010 2:32:56 PM
well as ur other half doesnt know u r flirting online, i have 2 assume they wouldnt approve of ur flirting in which case u r bein sneaky hense i wouldnt wana b in ur shoes when ur other half descovers ur deciept (the shit will prob hit the fan)
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 379
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 6:52:29 AM
i dont have a problem with my woman flirting, i like it, after all she is coming home with me
i think its sexy to know other men want her
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 380
view profile
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 8:56:05 AM
thats why flirting is called flirting, and not cheating, i love women who are flirts,i hope to meet one
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 382
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:32:02 AM

First of all, if you even have to ask, you already know it's wrong. I can promise you this, if she was doing it, you would not like it one bit. Again..........your wrong.

You're a grown man in a monogamous relationship. WTF are you doing? Take some of that energy you waste flirting with these faceless women, and direct it towards her.

I wouldn't call it cheating, but it's certainly deceitful.

Do the right thing.

Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 383
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:08:22 AM
I agree completely with what you said.

For me - anything i'd be AFRAID of bringing up to my partner, is considered cheating. Seems like you already have it set in your mind that you'd think she would find what your doing cheating. So i'd say what you're doing right now, online on a dating website while having a girlfriend, still searching for conversation that you could easily be sitting next to her having, is in the wrong. Why ARE you still looking? If a male were to chat with you randomly and try to chat just for conversation on here, i'm pretty sure you wouldn't be up for it as much as you would be if a female were to message you. I'd say if you don't want to hurt anyones feelings and you want to keep the relationship you have - delete your plenty of fish account.
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 384
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:12:01 AM
you're hiding it, you're cheating.
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 386
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:46:33 PM

Flirting is cheating when a man tells another woman in front of his girlfriend that she has pretty eyes

nkentucky wrote the above.

my bf did that to me. he asked the waitress what color her eyes were...and then told her how pretty or beautiful they were.
i didnt think of it as cheating.
but i felt it was wrong.

a few weeks later, so he would understand how i felt
i flirted with a waiter.
i smiled at him,
asked him the color of his eyes and told him they were really nice.

then i told my bf that that was what he did in front of me
and that is how it felt.
(although who knows if he felt the same as i did)
but i think he understood.
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 387
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:51:58 PM
i want to add that i did not do that to be mean or revengeful.
it was to try to show him, to help him to FEEL how it can feel to act in a flirtatious way in front of the one you are with and in an exclusive relationship with.

we had spoken about it a few times that he did that. he continued .
so i needed to show him

at one point i told him that i did not like going out with him because of his flirting with waitresses.
he quit doing it.

for some men it seems to be a flirt with waitresses. but there is a difference between being friendly and being downright rude in front of your SO

but i dont think flirting is cheating. just rude.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 393
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:54:43 AM
it may be fun but....just think of the pain on the woman's face you are with if she finds out. is it worth the attention you're getting?
 silly ol newf
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 394
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/28/2010 5:55:34 AM
Do you enjoy her chatting with other men , do you tell her it's ok to talk to all the men that she wants because it don't bother you , don't think so ,
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >