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 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 98
Why is it hard to find an honest manPage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
very few people agree with underdogs because they know im tellin the truth. some of you woman got color issues aint you need to stop frontin like you like all people and you dont. who do you work for hitler
 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 99
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:07:34 AM
very few people agree with underdogs because they know im tellin the truth. some of you woman got color issues aint you need to stop frontin like you like all people and you dont. who do you work for hitler
 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 100
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:09:59 AM
i tell it like it is. i gave this revelation along time ago the devil is the author of deceit and confusion somne of you got life twisted
 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 101
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:11:54 AM
you cant really judge or say somethin about someone you never seen or talk to period.
 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 103
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:25:04 AM
i agree with kee2 he said it perfectly. like i said from jump you cant base your bad experiences and just shut down and be tripping thinking that all men or some or you just dont know. you got some serious trust problems people do only what you allow them to do. im not no english major but i know what i said is a fact. you are just wasting time saying where are all the good honest same difference type of men are at. maybe its because of gender? who knows maybe some of you are just playing childish games. well its gotta be something because i hooked my homeboy up yesterday with a female. so i know if i can hook him up i can do the same for myself. let me tell you what your problem is. it takes hard work for people to type. you think that everybody finds this ammusing? im afraid not all this drama ladies. thats the problem you judge people and you dont even know them. frankly i really could care less what you feel or think about me. you aint paying my rent. food for thought you wanted honesty here it is and im quite sure alot of other honest men dont like being insulted. my information issues i mention is based on wha5t women put in their profile. some are not looking for relationship. they are loking for money. please you wanna be private.


its alot easier to walk up too someone annd talk stop frontin aint nobody wanting you that bad. its all in your head because most of these people you complain about you dont even know at all. so you are just assuming things which is like pulling teeth. keep it simple. stiop making a big deal out of this you make people work so hard you think its funny its not.
 Wreckless1
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 109
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:18:29 PM
I guess that would depend on what is making him dishonest. We all learn to be honest when growing up.
 Wreckless1
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 127
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 7/26/2007 6:39:12 PM
....Yeah have to admit it, I'm a Introvert..... My sis and brother are extroverts...
 Wreckless1
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 141
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 9/6/2007 4:51:07 AM
Because they are usually older then 5, when they are on this site!!
 Wreckless2
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 145
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:44:22 PM
...well you may need an honest woman to begin... kiddin!!!!

..it all falls back to how we were raised.... who influeneced us, what we were told to be true...then make a choice to be real or fake....
 draagen
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 151
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History
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:23:38 AM
Having read the entire thread...

I can't say why you find it difficult to find an honest man... but there are many out here, and not all of us are married or gay--not by a long shot.

Speaking strictly for myself; I am an honest, kind, gentle, generous, sweet, good man. I am also shy and reserved, and for most of my life (until quite recently) had no social confidence whatsoever. This seems strange to those who know me--I can stand in front of thousands at a public conference and speak confidently, I can get up on stage and sing, dance, and act without nervousness, I can stand in my classroom every day without fear--but when it came to interpersonal situations, I had no sense of myself as desirable, attractive, whatever.

Made me easy to overlook, it did.

If you're familiar with the musical *Chicago*, you may remember the character Amos. Amos was probably an honest man, a good man, a kind man. He wasn't glamorous, by any means, but he was probably good. But when it came right down to it, he felt invisible. Remember his song, "Mr. Cellophane?" He felt overlooked, unnoticed, see-through.

So it may be that some of the honest, good, transparent men out there are harder to find because you "look right through" them. They may not meet your eye -- they may have had such a difficult time in the lists of love that they don't believe they have a right to, any more. Or they may be the ones who respect your choices even when you don't choose them.

I don't know. I know that we're out here... and we're worth finding.

We have our quirks, too. We have our own likes and dislikes, our own wants and dreams, our own expectations and blind spots. We're made of the same clay you are.

That's not a bad thing, though...
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 152
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History
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:35:12 PM
I am not sure that woman have the stage in honesty today either?

We have to accept responsibility for what we allow into our lives (whether difficult to do or not).
 PurrrrrfectAnna
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 153
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:00:27 PM
In defense of men on POF, I have to say that the majority of the ones I have met have been honest, or at least honest with me. I try to be honest with them and can say they have definitely returned the favor.
IMHO, most people (men and women) want to be honest... its easier than lying. I make it my responsibility to let the other person know that it is safe for them to to honest with me.

Anna
 draagen
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 160
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:30:12 PM
Mominatrix said:

Because they are all locked up in my cellar.


draagen hangs his head. "Which way to the cellar, then." *sigh*
 RUFOREAL
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 162
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:50:32 AM

I just do not understand why so many men are dishonest and like to play games. I just wish I could find a good and honest man


Other than all of the men locked up in Momi's cellar, there are plenty of honest men around, just as there are plenty of honest women around.
Even the ones who play some dishonest games can be honest (if you listen really carefully). I am fairly new at this dating "thing", and am taking my time in order to attempt to stay away from the gamers that are dating. But I honestly believe that even those men or women who seem to be "players" or dishonest are having trouble figuring out what it is that they are really looking for and sometimes find themselves on a date with, or in a relationship with someone that they realize isnt "it"!?!? We all have some idea of what it is that we are looking for here (or do we)? There are others who really just dont care who they deceive, or play with as long as they get what they want or think that they need at a given time without concern for the harm /or emotional pain it may cause to the other person, these type of people are out there in the same fishing pond as everyone else... both men and women!

I know of alot of men who have been scammed and lied to by women, and some so financially crippled and broken hearted that they are afraid to get out in hopes of meeting someone again. These are Long time friends who have poured their hearts out to me and asking "why is it so hard to find a good and honest woman". And in turn I get to tell them about my adventures with dishonest men and the damages suffered.

I think its a matter of using common sense, understanding human nature, and taking your time to get to know someone , and just plain LUCK.

Best of Luck to everyone in this New Year.




 RUFOREAL
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 163
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:07:34 AM

"I just do not understand why so many men are dishonest and like to play games. I just wish I could find a good and honest man"


p.s. define "good"

Everyone has their own idea about what a good man is..
Most/or all men are good at something.
For me ,one of the qualities that a good man should have is the ability to be honest (not afraid to say what he means and mean what he says) and be willing to back it up.

Gotta give the honest guy the time to show you what he is made of. (IMHO) The players dont hang out long enough to show you much of anything... mostly hit and run and dont usually have the attention span or the patience. If he is in a big hurry, then he probably has lots of fish fryin in the pan!
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 165
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:59:47 AM
Okay maybe they are all too busy fishing, then?

Bingo Lingo...men do tend to go for those at a younger age (although I'm seeming to get a rush of younger men lately, despite my clearly typed out age requirements).

The thing this other woman you are speaking of is doing to herself though... is 'isolating' those men that 'she shouldn't want' in the first place, by lowering her age. (i.e. who is she attracting then...why should an older woman want a man who wants someone younger)?

Then again maybe she is lying to get the **much** 'older' men off her back!

I'm not really sure why people lie. But--I'm 62 with natural gray hair and warts, just like my profile says. [joking...but I did have a birthday and I haven't looked to see if it is showing up -- but, I don't think it is though].
 lakemuse
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 173
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/18/2011 4:43:28 PM
I am divorced from a man who is a serial cheater. I am constantly approached by married men.
This Thursday I was approached by a well dressed, nice looking man at the grocery store. He lives within three blocks of my house. He waited for me after checking out and we exchanged emails. When he emailed me, I replied and asked if he was married. He is.
Saturday night I get talked into going to a POF party. A guy there is smiling at me from another table for about 2 hours. He finally comes over , introduces himself and we talk. When I tell him where I work, he turns white and starts asking me if I know about 10 different people who work for my school district. I knew them all. It turns out that he is the husband of our superintendent!

I didn't even get out of my pj's today. Why would I ever want to be married again? Who would I trust?
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 174
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/19/2011 12:26:21 PM
I didn't even get out of my pj's today. Why would I ever want to be married again? Who would I trust?

OMG Muse dont write off society for a few a holes! Theres good and decent men and women out there. Trust takes time you have to build it slowly. We all tell white lies now n then to spare peoples feelings. People initially dont feel the need to be honest up front because they dont know you or have time and emotion invested in the relationship. Hopefully you will find someone you feel comfortable with enough to build that trust with them. Dont give up!
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 176
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/19/2011 4:28:03 PM
IMHO, anyone who starts with a bunch of assumptions about "all men" or "all women" is begging for trouble!
 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 179
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 12/22/2011 10:21:34 AM
Men lie because of their own insecurities which of course they have no responsibility for because "wait for it" it's all women's fault

Men lie to get sex of course it's not their fault that they are ugly and repugnant it's
"wait for it" women's fault
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 181
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Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:04:21 PM
Let me start off by saying it's not just men that do that. I've definitely run into my fair share of women that do that. Dishonesty is not gender specific. In fact, I've found that those that say they're honest in their profile, are the ones that aren't. And that goes along with the term 'nice'. Please keep in mind that some people are dishonest (M/F) in profiles, etcetera for a few reasons. One of which, is women (I say that cause I'm a guy) say they want an honest, good, conversational, etc. man and then they end up discarding them for the jerk-Off down the street. So to catch their interest in some regard they put up a picture that they want to see. Not all people do and that's not the only reason, but just something to think about.
 rissignol
Joined: 9/5/2013
Msg: 188
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 10/8/2013 2:00:27 PM
It's not hard. But that honest man probably doesn't come in the Channing Tatum package.

And also, honesty is better in theory than practice. It takes two complete, emotionally healthy people to make it work. Otherwise, your ego and unrealistic expectations will ruin everything.

Case in point - many women feel the need to fudge in relationships about not wanting to have sex. Instead of telling it like it is, "Honey, that's sweet ... but I'm just not feeling it tonight," they make up reasons they think their spouse will find legitimate - "I have a headache," etc etc. Are women the problem? No. If the man in the relationship would stop being an ego maniac, she could tell the truth without repercussions.

On the flip side, when a woman asks if she looks good in some number, and the answer is not really, men are expected to say yes. Even though it may have nothing to do with the woman - some outfits I've seen no one could pull off - she will take it personally and be upset. Regardless of the fact that it's okay and socially acceptable for a woman to comment on a man's manner of dress, even to the point of picking out outfits or shopping for his clothes.

These are just small examples of issues that arise in relationships. Yes, the world would be a much better place if everyone were honest, but in order for that to happen you have to be ready for that.

Our society as a whole is not a truthful one. Breaking the cycle takes time and a whole lot of effort. But in the end, it's worth it. Just be the change you want to see in the world and all will turn out well.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 189
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History
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 10/11/2013 9:39:41 PM
^ ^ Great point... how many women really want an "honest" answer when they ask stuff like the classic, "does this make me look fat"?!! Oh, and not to mention the perennial attraction of "bad boys" (always good role models for "honesty"...LOL)!
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 191
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 10/14/2013 7:39:43 AM
"does this make me look fat"?!!
"No way, Honey. You look much LESS fat in that !!"
 tremtgolden456
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 193
Why is it hard to find an honest man
Posted: 1/9/2014 12:55:03 AM

It is virtually impossible to find an honest man because honest men don't get laid.


Pretty good quote here, agreed. Many many women, despite claiming they want these types of men, usually don't, and end up dumping all over them for something better(usually some "hot douche bag who treats them like garbage). I always chortle when i hear when say they want: good/nice/solid/honest men, when in reality, they don't want those types of men.
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