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 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 102
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Testimonials New Feature - QuestionPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
the final decision is YOURS.. you have the option to delete a testimonial that is placed on your profile.. not that difficult, really


The final decision is NOT MINE if I have to delete something AFTER the fact and after the damage is done, and it does cause a lot of damage to many people for all the many many many reasons I've stated in all my above posts!

People don't live on the site and sometimes can't catch it quickly enough therefore the option should be there for them to SEE IT FIRST..BEFORE it gets plastered on their profile page that they took the time to write up themselves, to promote themselves the way they want to be presented! If we can delete it anyway....why put that stress on us to have to patrol our profiles 24/7!!!?


Bottom line - it's an invasion of privacy and it opens too many risks while actually making people less desireable to the opposite sex.

Even the men I talked to said they wouldn't be interested in a woman who has men posting about how great she is. They wouldn't bother competing in that one upsmanship game.

I haven't seen any posts that lead me to believe that there are any good values to this new feature - although I understand the concept and why the owner thought it might be a good way to weed out the players by validating the users with testimonials. But in a dating forum this actually backfires and will prevent many people from connecting who would have tried without the testimonials there to scare them away or make them assume things that may not be true.

I do hope that the results of this feature will be tracked and re-assesed in the near future.

Totally agree!!!

ACCEPT or DELETE..BEFORE it goes on our own personal profile that we wrote up to promote ourselves!
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 103
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Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 8:37:36 AM
Let me try this a different way...there are lots of people that I want to say something cool about, but I cannot simply because they have not added ME to THEIR list. That just sucks. I refuse to write someone and request that they add me to their list, lol, just so I can say something cool about them.

Oh, well.

Edit...didn't see your post, picker, sorry! I just can't do that, lol...nopers!
 kapookie
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 104
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:00:37 AM

Someone suggested an "accept/decline" feature. I think that negates the purpose of the feedback/testimonial. Obviously one is only going to accept feedback that compliments them. Who is going to bother reading testimonials/feedback that has been screened by the person receiving them?


you can already delete testimonials - the only people who will be called out are those who do not log in regularly.. so there is already screening...

it's not the same as equating it to a seller rating on ebay - not to mention a testimonial on a dating site is much less black or white than a simple 'got my package on time, will buy from this person again" (how's that for an innuendo??)


I cannot write testimonials for people that I have placed on MY favoites list. Isn't that backwards?


no it's forwards - would you really want some creepy guy you've never met before to add you at 3 in the morning to his favorites - then instead of sending you a creepy sexually explicit email, he sends you a creepy sexually explicit testimonial?
 logicalnonsense
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 105
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:13:20 AM
I think it's a GREAT feature! Gives us the opportunity to tell everyone how wonderful we think our friends are.... While I know some people will abuse the feature by making untrue comments about some, out of spite or what have you.....I would never make a character judgement based on someone elses "perception". I have a mind of my own!

If you want to be seen as a "decent" person.....then, BE DECENT....
If you are someone that lacks integrity...the truth will come out about you whether someone "posts" something derogatory about you or not. Do I think it will make dishonest people more honest? Nope...but it may cause them to leave the pond simply cause it's too much work to constantly check to see if someone has outed them.....

If you are concerned about what someone will say about you, don't have favorites on your list....and don't remain on others list's....simple, really. I have nothing to hide......

Kudos to the big fish....my experience on POF, has been for the most part, a good one and this site seems to handle *situations* more responsibly than a lot of the pay sites....JMO



VVVVVVVV FG...I don't allow people I don't "know" to remain on my Favorites list...If they don't make contact or I decide not to contact them...I delete them. I understand what you are saying, though....you'd like to be able to comment on those on YOUR fav's list....
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 106
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Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:24:36 AM

would you really want some creepy guy you've never met before to add you at 3 in the morning to his favorites - then instead of sending you a creepy sexually explicit email, he sends you a creepy sexually explicit testimonial?


Huh? Do you realize what you just said? The point I'm making is that because of the way this is set up, THOSE are the only people I CAN write about...see? Second, that's the bulk of what my favs list IS! I don't "know" 95% or more of those that have ME on their list. The rest are buddies, and not a single one is anyone I've ever dated. *sigh*

I'm beating my head against a wall, huh? Okies, I'm keeping my testimonials to myself.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 109
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Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 11:51:25 AM

(Msg 129) Also, for the person comparing this to ebays feedback, I'm not an item being sold.


You wrote in msg. 110,
As for me, I took a lot of time to write my profile so it was just the way I want it to be and the way I wish to project myself……. I'm sure the intent was good, but no one should have permission to put words about us, anywhere that we're trying to promote ourselves in the way we want to be seen.


project myself, promote ourselves While we are not literally selling ourselves for $$$ I feel the term "selling" ourselves is appropriate just as it would be to say we are "selling" ourselves when trying to convince a prospective employer to hire us. As they say, "We're selling the sizzle."


(Msg 129) I'm a human being with feelings who understands that not everyone I meet is going to click with me, and some may be hurt or angry that I don't want to continue. I'd like to think they'll all remain friends but that doesn't always happen and seeing another man's testimony of a potential date can cause a severe jealousy reaction whereby he'll jump on and say something neg.
and
) Do you realize how many dates end with one party not wanting to continue and the other hurt to the point of being angry enough to bash that person? ……..

The other issue here is we were always told that we can't name names because that's an invasion of privacy and many threads that have been started naming cheaters and players are automatically deleted as they should be. No one knows who's telling the truth in those situations and many times its those who have been scorned who retaliate with a vengence. So why now are we trying to pin point players for the rest of the POF world to see when those people may not even be players but only victims due to some scorned persons interpretations?


While I agree there will always be scorned people (Hell hath no fury....) I believe, as another poster commented, there will be other feedback listed.

Let's say "John" writes a negative comment about you. If half a dozen other people have written glowing remarks how much emphasis will someone put on that one comment? Also, assuming you have only one comment, that being "John's", one can or should be able to cross reference other comments made by "John".

I compare it to eBay feedback not in the sense we are commodities being sold but in the interest of getting to know people. While I understand and agree it may be more appropriate not to have those testimonials on one's profile page I think there should be a forum where others can comment on people they have met.

The big concern about computer dating is knowing who we're communicating with. Surely exposing the undesirables is a good thing. In other situations we hear about people through friends/family. Maybe a cousin or co-worker is single and looking. If there was a feedback system here I feel it would be of great benefit. I met "John" and although we didn't click I found him to be a gentleman" or "I had dinner with "Mary". Even though we discovered we were searching for different things I had a great time."

Anyway, that's my view on it. I think POF has the right idea and that's gettting to know each other. :-)
 kapookie
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 110
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 11:59:21 AM
Belgarion, this is the suggestions forum and people are making suggestions on how this feature might be tweaked to better suit everyone. attacking our patriotism of this site simply because we have critques is unwarranted. i'm sure everyone posting on here loves this place and loves the work that has gone into it..else they wouldnt be passionate enough to bother making any noise. if this new feature doesn't change the POF experience for you then more power to you but please don't assume your experience is remotely similiar to anyone elses POF experience. It simply isn't.

-steve
(who loves this site btw..loves loves loves loves loves loves!)
 kap10cavy1963
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 111
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 12:13:13 PM
Myself, I like this new feature. It's not that hard to understand, and I'm a simple Hillbilly.
Maybe the wise Bigfish can come up with a way for us to be able to accept or deny someone from adding us to their favorites, BEFORE, we are added.
I do it the easy way, I add someone and follow up with a quick note stating why.
This gives them to see I have added them and can't remove me if they want.
Some of these poor ladies have hundreds of people putting them on their list and the numbers just keep climbing.
Just me 2 cents for what it's worth.
 2eyes2ears
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 113
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 1:06:25 PM
Hmm, I'd also seen "Favs" as a sort of passive bookmark list to mark those who seem interesting. I never realized it was some sort of bidirectional "buddy list" thing.

Guess I'll need to delete them. Sorry to anyone who felt violated because I'd Fav'ed you without knowing you first.
 GypsyEssence
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 114
Testimonials New Feature - Question
Posted: 9/2/2006 1:35:21 PM
I like the new feature.

Since I am not in the habit of collecting favorites like carnival won prizes and tend to houseclean "who has favorited me" every once in awhile then the feature doesn't seem a problem to me.

Can someone falsely post something negative about anyone? Yes, but to me if someone is really serious about someone a little site tracking of commentators will give one a clue about whom is telling the truth. Better yet, just flat out ask the person the comment is posted about.

There are two sides to a story and anyone basing a decision to communicate further on one side of the story just displayed a potential for taking hearsay as gospel. Personally, I don't see that as a good relationship trait.

I have checked both those I have favorited and those who have favorited me. I've found only one with a testimonial where a hot looking late 40 something has posted quite clearly for all to see how a 30 something is a GREAT KISSER and honestly it tickled the heck out of me. Now without talking to the guy, I can presume they had ONE hot date or they have something going on still. But until I actually asked him what the testimonial is about I really don't know the deal. He has left the testimonial in place and has been online quite a bit so it doesn't look like it has impacted his chances as of yet.

This is one time I think "being picky" may actually benefit people. Most picky people I know don't tend to have a very large group of favorites unless they are extremely active forum posters. Forum posters from my experience tend to be like family and usually know what to and what not to post about each other so in my opinion I don't see much of an issue with potentially negative testimonials occurring among them.

Only time will tell how good or bad the feature will be.
 DiavolosCandy
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 115
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just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 6:35:07 PM
OK... I've got made people adding THEMSELVES TO MY FAVORITES LIST SOMEHOW! Then their writing testimonials about me, and I've never even said boo to most of them! How the hell can they do that crap???
Then when I click on see your testimonials I can't! Nothing comes up!!! So who knows what the heck their saying about you!!!
 OpheliaBonMot
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 116
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 6:37:06 PM
No one can add themselves to YOUR favorites list but you. Likewise, you cannot add yourself to somene else's favorites list, just your own.

Look at your profile to see testimonials written about you. I just checked and you have none on your profile.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 117
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just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 6:48:51 PM
I still think a lot less fuss would be made of this if they just made a guestbook possible. That way their would be an unlimited number of entries, and it would be on a secondary set of pages, away from the profile.

That's done on many sites, and it's workable.

The basic idea would remain the same, the profiles would be intact and without disruption, and one could monitor and delete unwanted comments.

I don't have any problem with the system now, except for the 15 maximum entries, which means the possibility of some people's testimonials being deleted.
 checkin-u
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 118
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:13:58 PM
^^ ....well we could always go back and RE-POST
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 119
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just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:35:45 PM
Two or three pages back, someone mentioned something along the line that if you notice a testimonial poster consistently trashes people, that would tell you more about the poster than the recipient. I agree.

To facilitate this, I would suggest that as this system is fine-tuned we be able to click and check out the last X number of testimonials that person has left, just like we can click next to a forum post and see that member's last 25 forum posts.

I would make the further suggestion that this list be complete--i.e., if the recipient removes it from their profile, it should still show up on the poster's list as "deleted by recipient", not just disappear. The recipient could be given multiple options to post as to the reason for deletion, ranging from, oh, "Thank you, but I don't accept testimonials" to the old standard "Prefer not to say" to "Insulting" or "Flaming" or SOMETHING. That way those who are looking to get a better feel for the validity of the unflattering testimonial have a more complete reference. If someone has 20 out of 25 of their listed testimonials blank except for "deleted by recipient because______", that would definitely tell me something, especially if the majority of the deletions listed one of the more negative choices.

I can understand why that isn't the case with forum postings, because threads get deleted for reasons that often have nothing to do with you personally but then your post disappears also. But testimonials will be entirely the responsibility of one individual.

BTW, (off topic, but close) I personally would like to see deletions of specific posts (not entire threads) noted in the members' forum postings also. If a moderator has removed an individual post for cause due offensive content, etc., instead of it disappearing, I'd rather see a note saying "Moderator deleted post due to _______". Just a thought, certainly not a complaint.

Let me finish by saying, "Thank you, admin and moderators. I'm loving my time on POF!"
 Sassy911
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 120
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 9:58:17 PM
Well I don't see what the big deal is........nor do I have a problem with it.......what I do have a problem with ......being on 217 fav.lists...and only 3 testimonials..............lol


The ones you have as your favourites are the ones who can write you a testimnial, not the 217 - see post #1 / Moderator
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 121
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/2/2006 11:05:26 PM
I don't have a big problem with it, it just reminds me of the scenerio of work or during dinner, where a freind says, I know someone great for you.
I think they are wonderful and fantastic, but just not for me.
 picker_grinner
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 122
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/3/2006 5:54:25 AM
I've already noticed another benefit. It makes forum stalking easier.

....well we could always go back and RE-POST

Now I see a potential downside to the feature. Turf wars to stay on someones profile. lol
 Sassy911
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 123
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:42:28 AM
Thanks for the clarity(moderator)but even so.....I still have more than 3 on my fav lists...lol.....and I was just joking................




But why does the testimonial thing only show up on the ones who have you on their fav. list and not on your favs?

It's explained in the thread numerous times, It's to prevent somone from adding you to their list and then adding a nasty testimonial on your profile w/o your knowledge - The only people who can leave you a testimonial would be supposed friends that you have gotten to know and added to your list.
Moderator
 PotentialPlus
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 125
Testimonials New Feature - Question [How it Works Msg#1]
Posted: 9/3/2006 7:05:01 PM
Can someone please tell me how to modify or delete a testimonial that I've created ??
Thanks!
 thegreatrockyhill
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 126
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/3/2006 7:39:27 PM
I think it's stupid.


If they've corresponded with you, read your posts, or talked or chatted with you - they can certainly express how they feel because of that ? You don't have to be face to face with someone to see who a person is, or at least some facets of their personality that you admire.


Eh maybe.

It just makes it all the more like finding a job. I guess you need references now. Dumb.

And let's face it. Most of the guys who put girls on their faves are doing so simply because of pics. What's the testimonial going to be? Man shez hawt!!! It's dumb.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 127
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just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/3/2006 7:41:45 PM
They can still speak about your qualities as a person, can't they ?

If they've corresponded with you, read your posts, or talked or chatted with you - they can certainly express how they feel because of that ? You don't have to be face to face with someone to see who a person is, or at least some facets of their personality that you admire.
 noso
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 128
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:32:46 PM
well yea just take a strangers word on another stranger..sounds good
 justasassyone
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 129
just a quick question (i hope)..
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:33:32 AM
The final decision is NOT MINE if I have to delete something AFTER the fact and after the damage is done, and it does cause a lot of damage to many people for all the many many many reasons I've stated in all my above posts!


OMG.. why all the fuss over a simple function... I would suggest taking people off your favorites list if they are not your friends.... good grief.... talk about getting your panties in a knot over nothing..........geesh Lets not over analyze this feature... it has its good qualities and of course there could be abusers of the system.. but not likely... chill




fter the damage is done


moral of the story.. be careful who you put on your favorites list... again...simple really!
 PotentialPlus
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 130
Testimonials New Feature - Question [How it Works Msg#1]
Posted: 9/4/2006 5:34:30 AM
How does one edit or delete a testimonial they have written ???
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