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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do men always have to look at other women!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 51
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why do men always have to look at other women!!Page 3 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

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At the end, as the lights would dim, I would snuggle next to him, touch his arm and assure him that there wasn't any other man in the entire arena who was as wonderful and sexy to me as he.

And I genuinely meant it.
Not once in four years of this "playing" did I ever find a man, I felt was more attractive to me.

He was nothing special. Just a nice looking, every day, Dad. In his late 30's. But....he was wicked, sexy, hot to me. And that's what mattered.

Women - get a clue. Men look. So do we. Enough with the battle of the sexes.
It's stupid.


BRAVO!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!

Best post I've seen on any thread on here!!!! And the last line is a gem!

 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 52
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:53:51 PM

]
At the end, as the lights would dim, I would snuggle next to him, touch his arm and assure him that there wasn't any other man in the entire arena who was as wonderful and sexy to me as he.

And I genuinely meant it.
Not once in four years of this "playing" did I ever find a man, I felt was more attractive to me.

He was nothing special. Just a nice looking, every day, Dad. In his late 30's. But....he was wicked, sexy, hot to me. And that's what mattered.

Women - get a clue. Men look. So do we. Enough with the battle of the sexes.
It's stupid.


BRAVO!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!

Best post I've seen on any thread on here!!!! And the last line is a gem!


What more can I add to that?!!!

Of course women look too.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 53
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/11/2008 9:19:37 PM

People are so afraid of giving up any rights or control they think they're entittled to that they completely forego common courtesy when it comes to their mates. Those type people don't need to be in relationships, IMO. A secure person doesn't need to demean their partner in that way.


But see...there is the difference. YOU (and Morgana and others) believe that LOOKING at another person, is demeaning. Whereas others just see it for what it is...appreciation of something attractive...something nice to LOOK at.

I think the only way it would be truly demeaning, is if your partner suddenly started acting like a 12-year old school girl with a major crush...all giddy...slobbery...and suddenly YOU are invisible.

I had a date recently...very secure man....who actually was flattered and turned on when I would get approached, appreciated, or looked at by others in the bar. THAT is sexy. He knew who was going to be walking out the door together. :)
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 54
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/11/2008 9:44:16 PM
Ya no kiddin far king.
I've had several laughs, and been surprised at some thing's she has said.

Really if your man is staring in a unappropiate way, then you need to say something.

Cause if my girl was hardcore drolling over some guy, and almost walks herself into a pole. I would have to say something too..

A little look is hard wired into both male, and female. afterall we are attracted to the opposite sex...
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 55
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:29:19 PM
I was in a relationship with a man. Over 14 years on and off (no bad reasons we just went different paths at times). I adored him visa versa. We'd go out and he attracted people to him like crazy. He wasn't GQ by any means but his personality lit up any room. He was a huge flirt and charmed women of all ages, shapes ect. Part of his wonderful personality.

I could sit in the place and just watch him socialize and had no problem because for one, it was a huge compliment to me that so many women found him as awesome as I did and for another I knew who he was leaving with when it came time to come home. He never once made me feel forgotten either. He'd make sure to show me I was the only one for him in so many ways. He showed he was proud to be with me and let everyone around know that I was who had his heart. We had no insecurities with each other. It didn't bother me that he admired beautiful women. What's not to admire. And visa versa. What made it all good is we had trust and communication between us.



RIP R
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 56
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:41:09 AM

Okay, see,.. THATS what dont understand. If you have to assure your partner that they're the most attractive and sexy, wonderful etc person to you,.. then why 'play' that game to begin wth? sounds like 'good cop/bad cap' stuff to me.
If i am with a partner,.. why on earth would i want to point out that Im finding another person in the room 'hot' or attractive? What on earth am I trying to say to my partner with that? Is there any point to it?, except to give my partner a feeling of unworthiness? I'm sure a person knows that we can all find different people attractive,, do we really need to put it in our partners face like that? I really dont understand why, if you love and respect and find your partner attractive,, this need to point out other peoples 'hotness'. What is that? Why do it?
If Im out with someone,.. i reserve my compliments and appreciation for them, and them alone.. I'm not into making a partner feel insecure about themselves, or worried that my attention is wandering from them. I'm not trying to keep my partner on his toes, like that. I think these little 'games' of 'lets spot goodlooking people' to be crass, and actually, quite 'using' of the innocent bystanders who are used as models, to be compared for 'hotness'.


Excuse me? I think, in my opinion, you've just insulted me - immensely.
You apparently did NOT clearly read my post, or you were unable to clearly understand some of the words.

My profession at that time required I be adept and successful and looking at men. And women. And evaluating on a professional level their appearance and their marketability.

If you are working in a professional arena where there are daily calls for this look, that person, this representation of a modern day hero, or a grandmotherly "type" you look at people. All the time.

It wasn't a GAME between us. It was a means of communicating with each other in a manner that was open, adult and positive.

And for you to perceive and then attempt to degrade my relationship and me, in order to somehow make you appear a more sensitive and loving partner is intolerable.

I don't think you wrote these comments to gain enlightenment.
I think you wrote these comments to say - "look at what a better woman I am because I focus all of me on all of him."

I did NOT have to assure him.
I CHOOSE to.

I wouldn't be involved with a man who was insecure that he needed ME focused on him in such a needy, pablum feeding way.

If you date men that have to be spoon fed your enthusiasm for them, well that's your choice.

I choose to date men - who are men.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 57
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:03:56 AM
OK...gonna open a little can of worms! ;O) Seems appropriate in a fishin' pond! LOL

Anyone ever play that little game with a friend or SO where you "pick someone for them?" Sometimes we pick the fugliest person we can find...other times we make it comical...and sometimes we make it realistic or generous? Or how about the "next person who walks in the door" game? Silly stuff that we have probably all goofed off with at one time or another, right?

Or...maybe we won't admit it...but those little "games" where you kinda mock someone...maybe she is the 450 pound mumu wearing gal with a Dolly Parton hairdo...or the geek with his pants hiked up above his belly button, a pocket protector, and glasses mended with tape? We know it is kind of mean, but we laugh about them and tell our SO how "she wants you in a baaaad way!"

Those are kinda funny, hunh?

Why is that any different than checking out someone attractive?? Because of your self esteem, that's why! If it is someone who you think is "more attractive" than yourself...someone you feel is a "threat"...then all of your jealousies, and all of your insecurities, rear their ugly heads! YOU label them as "disrespectful" and whatnot...but it is not even really about your SO...it's all about YOU. But if your partner were looking at one of the above described persons...you would not even think a teensy thought about such!

Now I will save some, the time and efforts of posting, "*I* would not do that, either!" I really do not care. My point was made and garnished with my two cents worth! :)
 JIMYpaso
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 58
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:31:08 AM
because its nice to look at other women. Dont be greedy. We are just taking orders from the man up stairs
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 59
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:38:06 AM
There is nothing wrong with looking at the dessert tray. It's human nature.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 60
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:41:47 AM
women look too, they're just not dumb enough to get caught.

Or us guys are just to dumb to notice them looking.
I remember one time when I was drooling over the candy bar rack at the check out line int the grocery store. My wife at the time seen a guy walk by, and makes a noise like mmmmmmmmmm, I of course not noticing the guy said which candy bar are you wanting? When she said him and pointed, we just laughed. No big deal


My friend and I go to these big speaking things. It's hilarious to watch the difference between the men checking out all the women that walk in and the women doing the same thing.

When a women walks in the men's heads are like the "Wave" at a ballgame and it's so funny if their SO is with them cause they will get at the least a dirty look (ok not all).

When a man walks in the women will all do a quick discreet body scan and then act like they didn't notice, though you'll catch an extra glance or two depending.

It's funny, they both are doing the same thing but just in different ways. It happens in malls, restaurants ect. all the time.

"The women look too, they just aren't dumb enough to get caught". Yep
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 61
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:55:57 AM
A month or so ago, my sweetie and I were shopping in his local grocery store (sheesh, I think my daughter is right, all of our dates seem to revolve around going to the grocery store, lmao). He lives in a trendier neighbourhood than I... wall-to-wall eye candy.

Anyway, I saw this totally gorgeous blonde reaching for something out of the freezer section. She'd "struck a pose" and I was completely taken by her... not only with how striking she was, but also how aware of it she was. Truthfully, I was a bit in awe of how she was working it... couldn't immediately figure out if I thought she was 'that shallow' or 'that aware'.

My immediate reaction was to tear around the corner to find my sweetie... no way did I want him to miss THIS one. Oh such little faith, there he was, just around the corner where he had a very good sightline. I said "Did you see..." he laughed "the blonde?" "yeah" I enthused "isn't she something? She's so gorgeous" Him, still laughing, "oh yeah, and doesn't she just know it too."

That was a springboard for a really cool conversation. I'm obviously not threatened by him looking - I find what we perceive as attractive kinda fascinating really. Then again, we're totally secure with our regard for each other... and that likely makes a big difference. There are tons of women who are way more attractive than I am and tons of men more attractive than he is. A fleeting snapshot of eye-candy is meaningless compared with the total package of what we share as a couple.

Either way, people are going to look... complaining or agitating about it is as pointless as complaining about the weather.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 62
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:37:13 AM
That was a springboard for a really cool conversation. I'm obviously not threatened by him looking - I find what we perceive as attractive kinda fascinating really. Then again, we're totally secure with our regard for each other... and that likely makes a big difference. There are tons of women who are way more attractive than I am and tons of men more attractive than he is. A fleeting snapshot of eye-candy is meaningless compared with the total package of what we share as a couple.

Either way, people are going to look... complaining or agitating about it is as pointless as complaining about the weather.


ItsMargo - you both are a classact!! Great example of what trust and communication can do!! And I find that both men and women are beautiful to look at, has nothing to do with sexuality.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 63
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:53:48 AM

Anyway, I saw this totally gorgeous blonde reaching for something out of the freezer section. She'd "struck a pose" and I was completely taken by her... not only with how striking she was, but also how aware of it she was. Truthfully, I was a bit in awe of how she was working it

Margo ~ I LOVE moments like that. You truly can learn a great deal by watching other women. And kudos to you for being wise enough to answer your sweetie honestly without over-reaction.

~OT~ Goodness, I had no idea "looking" was such an offense. He looks, I look. As long as neither is "looking to find" what's the problem? I might be nutz about him, but I'm not dead and heaven forbid that I should give him reason to feel that looking isn't appropriate. That speaks much more about me and my issues than him looking at a beautiful woman. And who's to say he even thinks she's beautiful? He might be looking and wondering why she wears that much make-up or why her hair is so odd colored or why her eyes don't dance or smile or a million other things. He might be thinking, "Hmmm ~ I'm so lucky to have ____ in my life, I sure don't miss being single."
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 64
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:50:44 PM
if it bothers you so much perhaps you should start dating gay men
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 65
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:35:35 PM
I'm kinda with margo on this one..

I not only look at other men...I notice really attractive other women..and have been known to also point them out to an SO..I can appreciate beauty, or sensuality, regardless of whether I want to jump their bones or not...and even if I did...my SO would know I wouldn't...and though I am bit envious I wasn't so blessed..at the same time...it is like looking at anything pleasing to the eye...it's nice...

My last BF got such a kick out of it..he couldn't believe I did that...and it was probably one of the things he would have mentioned as one of my better qualities...thing is, too, most women are "hotter" than I am...if I worried he was going to leave me for someone hotter..I would live in constant fear and mistrust...he was with me...and I was against his "type"..so, I knew it wasn't about how I looked anyway...

At any rate...can't explain it...but, I get a kick out of when a guy notices an attractive woman, and comments....almost like a sexy moment between us, somehow...

Somehow, I have never felt disrespected when a guy looks, or comments...he isn't leaving me for them...lol...

Just looking is not only harmless...it is just human nature..

Now, I think we would all agree...overt flirting, touching etc...is over the line.
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 66
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 4:57:26 AM
When I'm driving, I always say I HAVE to look at everything around.

And I point out that I may look at custom bikes and Lamborghinis out of curiousity (never where it might make the owner smug) but I can afford any bike I want and the one in my garage is the one I want!
ED BEAR
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 68
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:52:14 AM

i dated a bi chic that would point out women. "look left, you're missing it".


I did too, and our "freebie" was even the same person. It made for interesting conversations.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 69
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:56:01 AM

a sly form of cheating...


Maybe in certain fundamentalist societies where women are considered the root of all evil, and leading men to their doom, therefore it's alright to subjugate them, stone them, or force them to cover themselves from head to toe to prevent us weak willed men to have "lust in out hearts."

Or where men an women are incapable of even being platonic friends...

But most people can make a separation between, looking, thinking, and ACTION....
 Sweeet Melissa
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 70
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:07:38 PM
Men look at other girls because the world has many beautiful women in it and men like looking at beautiful women. I do not mind if my boyfriend looks at a beautiful woman when he is with me provided his tongue does not stick out and he does not stare.

Looking a little is ok, touching is not. If you allow your boyfriend to look "in the open" and you look with him then you do not have to worry about him looking in secret.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 71
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:41:18 PM


Why? I don't know why. But it is one of the most hurtful things to experience. Out with the man you love. You have eyes only for him and yet he visually grabs every attractive woman in his periphery. In my experience, it was a three year mark. Very sad and bewidering. I'll now read other's answers.


Did you at least slap the crap out of him?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 72
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:57:45 PM
Based on your profile, you're in a relationship of some sort. Yet you are here looking at guys. If you are not happy with him why are you still together?
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 73
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:21:56 PM
Perhaps...
A. He knows that you are trolling for another man on here...
B. You admit in your proile you are not happy with him...
C. You are in a power struggle with him and will be happy to lose him to win the fight...
D. You have security issues, and probably big self esteem issues...
E. You seem to have anger issues.
F. You seem to be a control freak and even want to decide where his eyes rest.

You need help.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 74
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:51:07 PM
just start turning your head every time you see a nice looking guy..

haha...he will be like "what are you looking at" and you can go "huh" Wha? "all women look at men"...."it's just our nature"!!

he'll be going




I think it's interesting to read the posts. I am not bothered by it, I will in fact joke, "Hey you missed one!" Of course if it's too the point of ridiculous gawking and forgetting I am there, when he turns around he will be standing alone.

I think it has alot to do with self confidence and trust. If I am low on the self esteem and trust then it will definitely be a problem. Guys if you can't help looking at the pretty shiny things then atleast take time to make sure the woman beside you knows that you think above all else she is the prettiest and shiniest to you!!!
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 75
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:35:35 PM
To look at another attractive person is human, but it is rude to stare at another person too much while your with someone... It shows you have lack of self control especially if your already with an attractive female... It shows your not too bright to overdo it b/c let's say I was in relationship with someone and they did that a lil too much while with me...I think you might get kicked outta my bed that nite...and you better hope that lady you stared at will let ya in hers b/c you won't be getting in mine...lol

Also depends on "the look in their eye"...it is human to look, but it all depends on how badly they stare...and if the tongue is about to wag out you might be in danger of getting "slapped" to reality...lol...b/c that's just too stupid...
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