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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 5
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Tips on finding # 1 menPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away"

I disagree with that one.. Flaky behaviour, having too many presonal isssues unresolved, being a rules girl, etc. will put a dude off.
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 6
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/12/2006 1:49:01 PM
Oh, Brilliant. Another well-meaning know-it-all sage with gems of wisdom who has "figured it all out."

if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away,

Got that, ladies? Forget all those years you fought for the right to sue for sexual harassment. Nothing can keep him away, apparently, so just accept the fact.

if he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Not even an 8 figure income father-in-law?

stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
allow your intuition to save you from heartache.

That's right, ladies. Stop thinking and using common sense. Just go with your gut and keep falling for charming liars and players. After all, what would POF come to without the endless posts about your heartbreak and how you never think through and learn from your mistakes?

stop trying to change yourself for a relationship thats not meant to be.

Keep being fat, ugly, stupid, socially inept, painfully shy, and everything else that turns off most guys. Just wait for one who's as self-loathing as you are.

slower is better.

Love at first sight doesn't exist, apparently.

never live your life for a man before you find what makes YOU truely happy.

Domestic life is a prison. Don't enter it before getting a testing your "real" potential in more respectable jobs.

if a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve..then HECK CANT be friends, a friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

It's okay to be an atrociously arrogant, uncivilized ****. "Hell hath no fury," huh? I guess you had it right in your adolescent years: just turn up your nose and spread rumors.

dont stay because you think "it'll get better", you'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things aren't better.

Relationships never improve. They only go downhill.

always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Prepare for failure.

maintain boudaries in how a guy treats you.
never let a man know everything, he will use it against you later.

You can NOT change a mans behavior, change comes from within...

Women are powerless as teachers and friends of their significant others.

dont EVER make him feel he is more imortant that you are. even if he has more eduation or a better job.

---Hopefully you'll help him consolidate the company merger, diagnose disease, research legal statutes, write computer code, since his

do not make him into a prince, hes a man, nothing more, nothing less.

Believe you are powerless to elevate and uplift your man to do great things, curb your man's ego and inspiration if you see it rising higher than it should, settle for for an average man who never achieves anything of worth.

never let a man define who you are.

Never mature into a true and full understanding of love, wherein you and your spouse integrate your personal identities (at least partially) with one another. Keep boundaries and never feel fully safe to be vulnerable and open to the person with whom you're most intimate.

Well, it all SOUNDS nice on first reading, doesn't it...
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 15
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:03:42 PM
You poor, poor bitter thing. And you're still looking. What a guy !
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 16
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Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 1:26:52 PM
Chrysostom you have so many issues for a man so young. How did you get so jaded?
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 2:25:03 PM
Reality lies somewhere between the points in mesg 1 and the points in msg 2.
Biggest barriers to finding #1 anythings???? Suspicion, bitterness, cynicism..(Being realistic is not the same as those things)
Cindy O
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 20
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:52:38 PM

I think C_Stone has put it best in stating
I'm all for empowerment, but can we please hold onto the string that's attached to reality?

I'm not jaded, I'm just nauseated by the repetition of the same empty platitudes that contradict plainly visible social reality or covertly justify self-destructive behavior.

We've seen this phenomenon before on POF. Some woman gets out of one or a series of bad relationships and once the initial torrent of emotions die down and she feels in control again, she experiences what she believes is a moment of clarity and perspective on the pearls of true romantic wisdom and happiness. It's all very plainly self-righteous and secretly self-pitying. We've all heard these "rules" before and stating them again probably won't make a difference if it hasn't the last 500 times.

May Allah be with you, and may you live long and prosper.
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 23
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 6:52:45 PM

never move into his mothers house.

Where did that come from?
Maybe a few good points but some weird ones also...
All of that space just to say....use good judgment and common sense
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:10:34 PM
I would add one more thing: Avoid taking advice from others as if it was gospel.
Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 29
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Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:15:02 PM
Absolutely Delicious Chrysostom!

Have happened upon the forum serendipitously.

I've not laughed so heartily in many months (not to dismiss: Didn't Russell say never was he so serious as when he was joking...)

Catharsis if ever there was!

There is, I fear, a lack of Irony (appreciation thereof) among many POF'ers.

From a Newbie! (And a straight man to boot).

Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 37
Tips on finding # 1 men
Posted: 9/14/2006 7:29:08 AM
Thanks for the nice comment, JurgenH.

The forums have a real mix of people, but most of them are products of standard state education, so don't expect much in the way of sophisticated or logical thinking.

I just get a kick out of coming by once in a while.

Good luck to thee!
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