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 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 234
Nice Guys? Where?Page 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Yyyyyuck Robin! See that kinda stuff would drive me insane too! (thats where us insane women come from, Greeneyes and Tony. You men make us that way! hahaha!). I once dated a man who had the extremely annoying habit of (ok this is gross lol) hawking up loogies! Ack!!!!!!!!!! Im actually making an ick face as i write this cuz that just totally turns my stomach and makes me wanna hurl!! Arghhh!! He could be in the house,,outside,,in a crowd of people,it didnt matter. It wasnt just once in a while. This was a habitual hawker. Cripes that was gross! My friends' ex used to pick his ears and that gave me the shivers too. So yeah,,,that kind of stuff i just cannot overlook. I cannot be in a relationship where he makes my skin crawl! LOL
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 236
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:05:59 AM
^^^^^ O M G! That reminds me of my brother who,,to this day and he is 44 yrs old, will stand up, lift his leg, raise his arms and hands like he is on a motorcycle and when he 'revs' the motorcycle,,he farts. Also,,every-single- time he burps , he says 'ralllphh'. Ughhhh!! Nice guys? More like Gross Guys!!
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 237
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Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:04:07 AM
Rip, Robin, Val....

Some of the actions you describe are just plain vulgar, crude and disgusting. They show a complete lack of class by these individuals and certainly no respect for you. Yes I must admit, at one point in my life I thought some of these actions were funny, but then I graduated into the 4th grade. (Please note, though, never graduated out of the 4th grade. Dang, that long division)

Rip - you mentioned earlier, "...but he/she does something that annoys you and you think, 'Hmmm, can I possibly live with that for the long haul?' ".

Robin - you wrote, "...he had some quirks that drove me nuts..." and then gave an example of some, in my opinion, very rude behavior.

My question ladies, and I know we all have our definitive "deal breakers". On those behaviors which were "quirky" or annoying, not rude and disrespectful, did you have an opportunity to discuss your feelings with the gentleman? Hopefully this would allow him the opportunity to understand your viewpoint and possibly initiate a change in his behavior.

Candidly, I think most of us guys should enroll in a class entitled, "Ladies - 101". Not so much to learn that the borish(sp) behavior mentioned above is a no no. But to understand that, much like the lovely snowflake, there are no two ladies alike. And how do we get to know and understand the individual intricacies of these beautiful creatures? By listening, they will tell us how to win their hearts.

So please ladies, rather than kicking us to the curb for our annoying or quirky behavior, please talk to us.

Rip, Robin, Val, .... I'm not insinuating that you did not. I'm only trying to indicate what I feel is important.


Just one man's humble and lengthy opinion.

Dave
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 238
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:09:39 PM
Hello there Dave....

I am pretty sure that alot of the time i didnt discuss the annoying habits of some of the men i dated since i just figured eh,,,,he wont change (tho my brother of course continues to get an ear full from me! lol) , but i can say that i did on MANY occassions discuss 'Mr. Hawkers' disgusting habit with him, to no avail. Like Vals guy,,my guy would just laugh. Made the excuse that he had to clear his throat (i wont get any grosser than that!!). Uh,,,,400 times a day??? Pffft!! Im sure some other woman is being grossed out by him as we speak!

I dont want to change anyone. Perhaps they feel their habits arent annoying and we are just overreacting. I do adnit,,,,maybe some habits (not the ones mentioned above tho) can be overlooked, but like Robin,,i just know that down the road its gonna bug me!
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 239
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Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:35:22 PM
Rip,

I would agree that the Disgusting Mr. Hawker, hey wasn't there a film with Matt Damon by that name, should make his way to the exit as quickly as possible. On a scale of 1-10, he and the Fartman warrant a 10 and a "Do not pass go" card purely due to the fact that they're probably not old enough to date and obviously have no idea what respect is.

However an annoyance in the 1-5, maybe 6, range could be worked on if we only knew. If someone would be considered a nice guy/gal, and according to many of the POF threads difficult to find, wouldn't it be kind of a win/win situation if a discussion led to a behavior change? But, then again, that's just me. We all gotta do what we all gotta do.

Thanks for your feedback.

Dave
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 241
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Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:24:23 PM
Robin,

All we can ask is for an honest exchange in communication. If you advise someone of an irritating habit and they do nothing to respect your wishes or attempt to make you happy then, in my opinion, you've attempted to communicate. They've either failed at listening or holding you in high enough regard to attempt to make a change.

As Ripley noted, she does not want to change anyone. However wouldn't it be nice if we, with the help of our companions, recognized some of our shortcomings and then we decided to make a change.

Thank you for your feedback.

Dave
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 243
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Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:12:16 PM
Val,

Ouch !!! Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, walking away from someone who is talking to you is just plain rude. I just don't understand some people. If you've an interest in someone, especially if you're in a relationship, I would think that their ideas, desires, dreams would be of interest to you. But, hey, that's just me.

Thank you for your response. I had hoped that, maybe, the guys were not aware of their irritating nature, hence no change. However, each of you ladies offered that you had made your feelings known. I can only shake my head in wonder of these guys.

I very glad, in reading the postings of the 3 of you, that you don't hold all men accountable for the actions of some. Thank you.

Just one man's humble opinion.

Dave
 Stephanie1965
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 246
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:22:46 AM
Nice guys? Of course their out there. I am not part of several sites, but POF has introduced me to many very nice, and interesting people to say the least. Clearly, some people will elaborate and yes, fib about themselves, but as one puts themselves “out there” so to speak, one should also understand some “sifting through” will be necessary. I think the approach that should be taken is, don’t have high expectations and if someone doesn’t respond to an initial, simple, yet respectful note, then that person is obviously not the right person for you. Forget about that lack of interest, no matter how it's shown and don't take it personally. Although frustrating, sometimes life has a peculiar way of showing us our paths. Have patience, no matter what type of relationship one is looking for, there are thousands of perspective men and woman. People that are worth sharing a friendship or romantic relationship with, usually are worth the time invested.


Stephanie
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 247
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/13/2008 3:24:26 PM
The only nice guy in Michigan just got back from Georgia. If you want to call him I think his number is 1-900-old-fart, you get a discount if you mention you saw it here on POF!!


Was I missed?
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 249
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/15/2008 6:10:52 AM
Aww Linda,,dont let one jerk-off ruin it for ya. Granted, we have done a lil bit of male bashing (lowers head lol), but there ARE nice men out there, we just havent found them yet. Or,,maybe we have but just cuz they are nice doesnt mean there will be instant chemistry (gotta have that! ). We just gotta trudge on until we find 'the one' who really knocks our socks off. Is he out there? I do not doubt it. Will it be tomorrow? Maybe,,,,maybe not. When the time is 'right', he will be there.
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 250
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:22:03 AM
linda I'm going to be frank here, please don't confuse it for being mean.

You say you are still "bumming from a relationship with a guy you emailed with for a month and had three dates with. A real friendship takes longer to develope let alone a relationship.

You say he "Always wanted to spend the night". If this happened the first time you met it should have given you a clue as to what he wanted from you. When it happened the second time it should have been obvious what he wanted so why would you give him a third chance?

You say "He never wanted to call me for a date, just emailed me to ask." The fact that you never talked to him on the phone should have put up a red flag.

You say "After the third date, I demanded that he call me. Well, that ended it! He claimed he wanted to "slow down" and that we would just be friends." This is where I take his side. If a woman starts demanding things from me after three dates it would be the end of dating her. I wouldn't even suggest that we could just be friends.

I'm not justifying his actions. Stories like yours are not uncommon and the same types of things also happen to men. I can understand feeling like you can't trust anyone anymore but are you going to let the actions of one person effect your life in such a radical way? I surely wouldn't, there is no single person who can change my mind set.

Sometimes its the people who seem too nice that you need to be wary of. Many times they are the user who have perfected the art of conning others. You need to look at what happened as one of life's experiences, learn from it and move on.

Good luck and be happy. Don't let anyone ruin your happiness.
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 251
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Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/15/2008 12:06:45 PM
John - Nicely put. It didn't sound mean to me, only quite candid. Hopefully Linda will view your post as advise offered, not criticism thrown. You offered, "Sometimes its the people who seem too nice that you need to be wary of." Amen. In fact that's the rationale I'm going to use for being dateless since only God knows when. LOL


Ripely, you wrote, "...trudge on until we find 'the one' who really knocks our socks off." Yes, and then we'll read a post which says that she, "went out with this great guy, all was well, until he started to remove my socks." LOL Sorry, I couldn't resist this feeble effort at humor.

Thanks for letting me play.

Dave
 RedHeadedRodney
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 252
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/15/2008 2:00:35 PM
It is possible too that he would only email you because he was still very married and cheating on his wife.

I don't mean to be the devils advocate here but him not wanting you to call him at his house means he didn't want his wife to know about you.

Either he was doing it because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Sometimes people might stay together for a little while after they decided to seperate until finanically ready to move on. But they don't feel right in "rubbing their face" in it by taking phone calls from other people.

Or he was very married and didn't want his wife to know about his infidelity.

Generally people just coming out of a marriage or long relationship like that don't really know what they want. You will notice my profile says right in it that if you haven't been divorced for atleast a year Pass me by. There is a reason for that...

Widows/Widowers have some of the same issues and REALLY should not start dating right away but generally we all have issues to deal with from long term relationships and really are NOT ready for anything serious until we deal with those. Most people take atleast a year to resolve those issues. Some take longer.

My last long term relationship was with a woman who was in process of separation. A year later when her divorce was final she ended up dumping me because she hadn't taken time out to figure out who she was and what she wanted. I was very hurt and it took me 2 years to get over that relationship. And I have gone out with other women at different times that have been at different stages and since I am more interested in a serious long term relationship I just refuse to date women who are recently out of a long term relationship or marriage.

Just food for thought.. Learn by other peoples mistakes or be doomed to repeat them and get the heartache...

Rodney
 RedHeadedRodney
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 258
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:48:51 AM
EVERY guy is a nice guy....

Don't believe me? Just ask em and be suprised if they say anything else...

Its when you can get atleast 5 women to tell you a guy is nice with a straight face and they aren't all standing together that maybe, just MAYBE you can believe em...

Even then it can be debatable...

Just an observation...

Rodney
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 268
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/25/2008 5:22:26 AM
Well said Robin and a huge hug for you too for going thru the same thing. :( No better advice can be given than from someone who's been there.

Just an FYI to Linda : You dont have to remove your 'only men can contact you' thing on your profile. If you add a female friend to your favs list and she adds you too, you can both email each other without lifting your restrictions. :)
 michkat52000
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 278
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:20:13 AM
i know lots of nice guys...lol,my 3 sons, 2 brothers, dad, uncles etc...awww and i've met lots of nice guys from here too...i just think when the woodmizer dubbed me "sister" kat that no one wants to break the "habit"...lol...life is too short to be anything but nice (to all you meannies out there) male and female alike...on the flip side linda, i take it the guy you were seeing was in a terrible marriage, jeez it takes us humans a long time to realize mistakes sometimes, and i know from experience that it makes a person gun shy...he might just figure his chooser is broke and he doesn't want to hurt you too...just my humble opinion
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 279
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:24:57 AM
Ive met some nice guys thru here (forums) and have had the pleasure of meeting them at some POF parties. Now if i could just find some nice guys who smoke and are closer to my area! lolol Seems everyone lives too far
 RedHeadedRodney
Joined: 9/26/2005
Msg: 285
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:44:55 AM
Will mention that I have met some of the best people I have met off here at parties...

I have met some great people in Detroit before I started to go to parties in my area...

It was a very BIG reason for me to start hosting parties over here when the only host I knew of over here got in trouble and was banned off the forums. Going through some things I have through the past few years Been much more interested in making new friends then finding a girlfriend so the parties make sense... Although I have also found out there are some real decent women out here as well. Seems going to these parties people are more themselves and are not as reserved as they might be on here.

So If you are having problems meeting decent people in your area you should really consider going to parties local to your area. Some hosts just name a place and people show up and other hosts try mixing it up a little bit. But both types of parties work out somewhat.

Biggest thing is you should go to these parties thinking you are going to make new friends regardless. If you happen to find someone special along the way GREAT but if you go to these parties enough you start to realize you can find companionship and have fun and stay single at the same time. Being single ISN'T a crime or even have to be a bad thing. We all are "programmed" to be with someone but socializing in a group setting and making new friends allows you to not be desperate and sit back and wait for someone truly special. Of course there can be the ocassional special person who draws your attention and makes it very hard for you to ignore them... Whatever it takes. Going to parties also makes it a little safer to meet new people as well since you are in a more public forum.

Parties do tend to bring out some of the social misfits or people who have no business trying to find someone for whatever reason. With that in mind you should not be afraid to contact the host or someone in the management or security of the club you are in if someone is following you around or causing you to question their intent such as they won't leave you alone or otherwise making you feel uncomfortable. You should not feel that you need to leave because someone is causing you to feel uncomfortable and you don't want to start trouble. Especially since it is possible that person is doing the same thing to others as well.. And these miscreants are a big reason why it is a good idea to meet people in a public setting instead of 1 on 1... Atleast in a club you can get help to get them away from you if they are bothering you.

Rodney

Rodney
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 292
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:20:48 AM
Echoing what Linda said, I can't tell you how many times women complain to me on how vulgar, arrogant, and sex-crazed men behave on dates (and communication in general). Seems a lot of my fellow men feel the need to act like horny, immature 15-yr-olds in order to attract women, and mistake overheated machismo and rudeness with masculinity and virility.

But women aren't off the hook of responsibility, either.

Face it, this society is geared to what I call the pursuit=>catch game. Many women lament the fact all their choices are crap and complain there are no decent men out here but never proactively take the time and effort to find someone more compatible.

Most classy, attractive, intelligent women my age seem content to let men perform like trained seals at their feet, vying for their attention, without so much as lifting a finger. Quite the opposite, in fact; they seem to enjoy and feed off it. Sickening behavior to watch, actually, and I see it all the time. I refuse to play that game. Most women have the enormous advantage of simply picking and choosing who's acceptable from the pool without really getting their feet wet themselves. I can't tell you how many women's profiles I see that have 400+ in their Favorites lists (one local woman had a mind-boggling 1400+!!!), and then have the temerity to say they're not on here for an ego trip or really enjoy all the attention. Yeah right. I look at those profiles and don't even bother responding. I have no desire to add to the legions of admirers and try to make myself visible from a rather bloated crowd. With that much attention, quit sitting on the fence and make a friggin' choice, dammit! ...lol

Bottom line is there's a lot of blame to go around with our dating dysfunction, and it's about time people started examining their own selves honestly and squarely through a very uncompromising mirror.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 295
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:46:32 AM
I agree with Tony. I wait for the woman to initiate. I'm sick of trying to interpret "the signals" or take hints from "body language". You pretty much have to lipsmack me upside the head to make your intentions known, but once done don't cry foul about being duped or hoodwinked by me into doing "anything".

And "most" men wear their horniness on their sleeves so should be easy to see what they want. I know there are some slick operators out here that use charm and subterfuge to insinuate themselves into a woman's bed, but even then, once they make their real intentions plain, all you have to do is say no?

I'm rather amused people make such mystery out of such things.
 davidDAman
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 297
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 3/15/2009 4:28:33 PM
im a nice guy. my only flaw is i aint a gold member

baahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


 eddj
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 300
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 3/17/2009 8:26:17 AM
Yes he does....the best money can buy ..............................................................................................................................................................
 DevotedRomance
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 301
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 3/17/2009 8:28:53 AM
Dman has a stalker a kissing and huging stalker you go man you go....
 tami407
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 302
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:22:37 PM
woohoo, a stalker for dman...



tami ~~
 michkat57
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 304
Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:12:31 PM
find a woman who appreciates a nice guy and all will be well...some gals/guys just like the dark side, and usually end up sooooo unhappy...i'll take a sweetheart anyday...hey i found one too, but it took a really long time...nice guys should be with nice gals, billy bad asses should be with barbies
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